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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, January 06, 2006

Last minute Friday funny

I am still at work and will be here until 11pm. Remeber those old days of doing double duty at the plant Doo-las? But I am here because my company is a little under staffed and when one person doesnt show up its all over. We all know shit rolls down hill right? So here is a little joke that I thought would give everyone a little giggle, so read it! I took the time to cut and paste it aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh



The Irish Virgin

In a tiny village on the Irish coast lived an old lady, a virgin and very proud of it. Sensing that her final days were rapidly approaching, and desiring to make sure everything was in proper order when she dies, she went to the town's undertaker (who also happened to be the local postal clerk) to make the proper "final" arrangements. As a last wish, she informed the undertaker that she wanted the following inscription engraved on her tombstone:

"BORN A VIRGIN, LIVED AS A VIRGIN, DIED A VIRGIN"

Not long after, the old maid died peacefully. A few days after the funeral, as the undertaker/postal clerk went to prepare the tombst one that the lady had requested, it became quite apparent that the tombstone that she had selected was much too small for the wording that she had chosen. He thought long and hard about how he could fulfill the old maid's final request, considering the very limited space available on the small piece of stone. For days, he agonized over the dilemma. But finally his experience as a postal worker allowed him to come up with what he thought was the appropriate solution to the problem.The virgin's tombstone was finally completed and duly engraved, and it read as follows:

RETURNED UNOPENED

I got this off WooWoo's blog because I just thought it was fucking funny and sad all in one breath. You die a virgin on purpose that should be an instant one way ticket to hell. If I gave someone a gift and they never bothered to even unrap it I would probably beat them senseless with it and then choke them to death with the goddamn bow!

Ashes to ashes ,
Dust to dust,
If you dont take it out and use it,
It might just rust.....and fall of then kill you from tetnis and blood poisoning you worthless prud!

Sorry I only got about 3 hours of broken sleep here people and been at work now for 13.5 hours!

God damn fucking fuck tart, shit bag ass reemed, dirty sanchezed queef sucker I am tired!

Sorry, terits.....it happens.

5 comments:

shebecrazy said...

hey...it said she lived in a "tiny village"...give her a break LOL...her choices may have been VERY VERY limited...in which case...they owe her one!

honkeie2 said...

true true shebecrazy, didnt think of that. The gene pool might have been to sallow lol.

trish said...

LMAO!!! Im very very offended! LOL! Better lose it quick

Celebrate Woo-Woo said...

Thanks for visiting me...and for the "props";>

By the way, the laser hair removal is pretty pricey...mine was buy one, get one free (underarms were cheaper and therefore free) and cost $1075. Can't think of too many other things that I really feel are so worth the pricetag, though;>

honkeie2 said...

Trish- what are u waiting for lol. Make a party out of it :-P
WooWoo- I think I might start saving for that, soon as i am doing getting inked lol