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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, August 31, 2007

Its Firday bitchs!

I will put up a better post later today and maybe this weekend but I have to let you know something:

I got my Absinth from the some far off land in Europe. I order it like a month ago and it finally came in. I have wanted to try this stuff for a long time. I heard about it from some of the literary great of long past and from some not so great of the present. It is featured in may vampire movies and has always been rumored to make you see things. But it really isnt anything but booze and yes booze can make you see things too. Like that time I saw this hot chic at the bar to only see her the next day to find out she had the face like a horse. See beer makes you see things that arent there, big whoop. I have done some research on this and found out that the old fire and sugar is not the orginal way to do it. I am going to go old skool with it and make with the cold pour style.

Nothing like that time I went camping and took 2 caps and swore there was a rabbit in the wood pile that was trying to bite me......but we wont go there. I often wonder about that night, Doug you were giggling way to much with another dude in your tent. No two men should ever 'giggle' while sharing a tent, it just any right lol.

But that is another story for another day. Buy Drugs people, there are people in 3rd world countries that depend on stoopid white America.

But today is my last day at work for a week. I am not really going anywhere, well I am heading to Vargina....umm...Virgina. Yeh that is, to see an air show, but that wont be until next Thursday. I do hope to get my post of "Absinth Review" this comming week.

Peace out you...........

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Vacation is NEAR

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This is about how I am feeling at the moment. I am on vacation next week and I am trying to tie up loose ends but everytime I take a step forward I have something new to do. How the hell can I finish something if I am not allowed to close out some from 2 seconds ago. Work would probably go better if I stopped bullshitting all day lol. I am such a lazy ass lately.
But what ever, I still might punch myself in the face to help get me off of blogging for 2 seconds so I can get this HUGE pile of paper from the "I shoud do" pile to the "Done and Dead" pile.
Angry white America working hard at perpetuating a alcoholic feeding frenzy of paper work.
I need a fucking hobby, maybe I will take up old fashioned bare-knuckle boxing or rugby lol. But then again maybe not, I like how all my teeth line up.
This is a shit ass post and hope to get a better one up sometime soon but we will have to see.

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Smokin and drinkin on a tuesday night...

Anyone who knows who said that back in th 80s wins a prize!

Not sure what the prize is yet but you will win something! I am about 4 sheets in the wind. I have had a bit of a rough night. Kids screaming, work hassels and family woes. So what does a man with a red neck do? Drinks! that right kids, daddy drinks because he does not want to kill u all.

I have been drinking balck berry brandy and sprite since 200000hrs. Well 8pm , I think I added an extra zero there lol. i am soo drunk i have to type very slowly here. We went to the park and mr. nonos and he found himself chasing a south american cutie. I fear for his future lol. she was a little cutie and the mom was a bottom heavy south american. the wife unit was not far behind, she was the translator here lol. yes doug she was urugian....(sp) I am rather drunk and think it is time to end this. i have pressed 'backspace' more than any key tonight. i wanted to post a pic or tow but i am a bit too tipsy. the keys are too fuzzy! and it does not help that I am listening to marylin manson youtube songs. i a such a marylin manson whore! brandy is dandy but liquor is quickeer!
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manson rulez!
Happy fuckjng hump day!!!!!!
screw who eber u call boss, i am all that matters, just kidding that is the brandy i should not be allowed to blog and drink!

Drive by porn...

This link I am about to put up is not NOT work safe:
I am very busy and sleepy. The sisterinlaw thought it would be a good idea to disappear for over 24 hours and not tell anyone where she was at. Lets just say the night ended with alot of stress, an near 'missing person' report being filed, and the realization that the sisterinlaw needs to use some critical thinking.
To make a long story short the snl (sisterinlaw) left a note on the kitchen table on Monday stating she was staying with a 'female' friend over night. Now she is 18 so there was no big investigation into this. Then yesterday around 6 pm her mom has not heard from her (mistake #1)so she calls the number she left. The mother calls this number and the snl friend is confused because she has not seen snl nor did she sleep over. oh, boy mistake #2. Then the mom starts making frantic phone calls to find out where she was. The snl isnt answering her cell (mistake #3) so now this is where we come in.
The wife unit gets this call and informs me of this. I just bang my head because I know what she was up to and I cannt fathom why she left a number to someone that wasnt in on the lie. I am not agaist her going into hiding to do what ever, I have done this many times in the past, but the fact she left a note (hand written evidence) with her where-abouts and a phone number. Again, this was a good idea, but she failed. She should have told her friend what was going down so she could at least buy her some time.
By now the mother has every possible 'dead and raped' story she has ever seen on CSI going through her mind. Also keep in mind we have had some local girls killed in a 'myspace' sex trap. This is exactly how those type of stories start. Daughter told a lie to get around the parents, girl is not heard from in 24 hours, police are called, computers at taken as evidence, mypsace is blamed, a 40sum year old in custody, and a naked badly decomposed body found by some track and now you are just a statistic in the 'Myspace murder' files.
She was found and she had some lame exscuses that feel on deaf ears. The problems we have here:
1) She lied
2) She betrayed her friend-who if I were her I would be PISSED
3) She spent the night at some dudes house
4) She left hard evidence of the lie
5) She never called in to check in
6) She honestly thought noone would call the number
7) She will no longer be trusted
Now all of this could have been avoid by doingthree little things. One: let your friend in on the fact she is the scape goat; Two: Makes sure your cell phone is on you and working and Three: call home at some point.

I am not saying I never did anything stoopid and got caught but if you followed my logic I got caught because of a simple flaw. Like my dad happen to drive by and saw me getting in a strange girls car , a cigerret lighter fell out of my pocket in the kitchen or the person that was my scapegoat decided to take the day off too. And yes those were a few of my little boo-boos that were flawed. The strange girls car was just a chance thing, he was coming back from the store and he saw me getting in her car for a quick makeout session after work-caught! The lighter was poor planning, I tried to hide it in my waist band so my would not find it in my pockets. And yes he would run my pockets sometimes, he was werid and thought I was selling drugs or something. I never sold drugs........sold drugs............
So the fact I was free ballin that day (no under wear) was the reason it hit the floor instead of nessling by my nut sack.
The scapegoat left me out to dry one time I was playing hookie. My mom and stepdad had seperated and he was using me like a spy to check in on my mom. And i was pertty tired of being on call for him and did not know how to address the problem so I did what any teenager would do....I lied and snuck around. But my mistake here was telling him I was at work and the person who was supposed to be in and was going to cover for me called out. Well he wasnt there and of course he went looking for me for some strange reason and found out I was not there. Well, in the end I got tired of this bullshit and he made me choice between him or my mom. HAHA was an ass, what child would choice thier parent over an over barring ass step parent. So that ended that.
As you can see these were plans that were thought out that ended due to Murphys Law, shit happenes sometimes. But what snl did had no plan and had to way out. She set her self up for failure. I do not feel sorry for her, nor will I get involed with this one. I probably would have been more apathetic if she schemed and got caught. Hell at least then it shows your tried, I do not want to sound mean but the fact here is she thought or at least felt her mom was not on the ball. She figured her mom was not 'with it' enough to dial a number that she left on the kitchen table in black and white. I would be beyond angry if I was the mom because my child did not give me the credit to aleast try to make a decent lie.
I know my children will try the same shit on me and I exspect them to. It is part of the learning proccess to test one boundries and to see how far on can go before they get burned. And when I catch them I will beat the living hell out of them to show them just how much I love them. Everyone lies and everyone cheats, we are trainned to do this and without this ability no one can survive in the job world. The office world is very cut throat, the fashion world is down right evil, the retail world is full of yet to be caught thiefs, banking is not the world ppl think it is and the mucis world.....well lets just say for eveyone that makes it there are millions of young talent that has suck someones willy and got nothing but a shore jaw. So it isnt just in some fields that the ability to lie and get away with is important its all of them. And let us not forget that the number one job in all the land the requires the ability to lie and lie well: The President of the United States!
I know I said I was going to make a long story short, sometimes I get on a tear and cannt stop until I bust my wad. I think I am done now, and I think I need a smoke. Even thought I dont anymore lol.
I now reallly really have to get to work. I am not sure of the end result to this saga but I will let you know if she got a beating or just a 'bad girl' on this one. I sure hope something sank in this time: Sharron.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Lets see.....this maybe be deleted

This weekend went way to fast. I finished my second semester of online skooling. I was so relieved, I was done on Saturday and I sooo wanted to party. But this was not a party weekend. It was a very buisy one. Work, family and house work.

But on to why I might not leave this post up for very long:

I found out that my ex has a bun in the oven. I was not to suprised by this because both me and the wife unit bet that the moment my oldest went to regular skool she would get knocked up. And sure enough, my oldest is set to start skool next week, for the first time in almost 4 years.

We made this call years ago when she first came out with her want to home skool my son. She never had much drive to do much more than stay home. Even when I was married to her she never seemed to want to do much more than nothing. One of the finer points that made me want to run.

So needless to say I wasnt shocked. But it did get me to thinking, which is always bad. I started to think back when she was pregnat with my son and those were the best times we had. This was before I found out the things I know about her now. And it just brought about a very strange feeling in me. I hope for the best for her and hope everything goes well.

I could careless about the toad she is married to. I congradulated her and ignored her husband. He is a real toad and even reminds me of one. He has to be the coldest person I know. If you dont corner him and make him say hello to you he wont even accknowledge you are even there. So I always make it a point to look through him, it isnt as hard as it seems. I have alot of practise at being an asshole and it pays off sometimes.

But anywhoooo, these feelings came rushing back and all the bad stuff seemed to disappear. Not that I had any desire to go back with no no never, Even with my blinders on for a second I know a bad idea when I smell it......but those old feeling still lingeared. I am not a mushy romantic kind of guy, even thought my wife unit wishes I was, so I had some problems dealing with how I was feeling. I could not talk to the wife about them, I did not want to hurt her feelings. I know she knows how I feel about her in the end but I know its an hard topic to go into. Your husbands past love and his residual feelings for the first wife. I no longer have any anger towards her and nor do I feel any resentment. I have been rather numb to the whole notion for sometime. Because I know where we came from and that there is no way I could ever go back there again. We were not ment to be, thats all.

We were friends in high school and dated before the eventful day my son was concieved. She was still in high school when she was pregnant, the last month of her senior year she was knocked up. I give her credit going through with her graduation and finishing high school while with child. I am sure she had to put up with alot of shit because of that and was on the recieving end of some dirty glances. But in the end most of the peopel we all graduated with did not end up much better than we did. Hell i think only about 4 or 5 out of over 1000 people we went to skool with made much out of life. I am not on top of the rock star list but I am doing pretty good I think lol.

So for us to have gone through all of this and then try to say I do not have feelings would be a hard bit to swallow. I see her and cannt help but see how we were all those years ago and remeber what we were and what I hoped for us. It did not pan out the way I planned but nothing is set and we have to make due with the reality of everything. I do feel that we are better of seperated, I know I could not have put up with her any longer lol. She is not the person I could spend my years with. She was old before her time and I have no idea why. She even dresses old, its kind of comical. She will be the woman in mom jeans, just like her mom haha.

But I am going to have to end this rambling personal nonsense because I have a shit load of work to do today. I start a new class today at UOP (university of phoenix) and the first few weeks are always the worst. And the boss is a bit raggy today, no biggie bosses will be bosses........and no I did not win the lottery, I cannt even find the damn ticket so i can burn it and stomp on it! Fuck MONDAY!

Ranom old pic that has me smiling at the moment:
my son and the evil clown of fat and cholestrol!
ps-sorry for the typ-o's I am rushing this a bit!

Friday, August 24, 2007

Ahhhh TiTs FrIdAy!

Last night I bought some lottery tickets with high hopes. I have yet to win but then again I should buy more tickets. You cannt win if you dont play.
With ticket in hand I walked out of the liquor store. I am not even sure what the pay out is or when the drawing is but I have hope. I have never gotten more than 2 numbers on a ticket. It seems I was not destined to will stoopid money, but I will keep trying. I will not stop until I have enough money to buy me my own country.

I wonder what other ppl would if they won the lottery?

I would keep my day job, I kinda like my job even though it does suck at times. I would drop out of college PERMINTLY! If i won the lottery I would never go to college, ignorance is cheaper and besides, there is nothing they can teach me that I cannt learn from the internet.
I would buy a house, nothing to big and hire ppl to clean it for me. I think these girls would do a bang up job, what do you think?

I like cars so I would love to have a professional garage in my house and hire some grease monkey to come and teach me how to pimp my ride. I dont want to just pay someone to trick out my car, I want to do it. I would become such a gear head! I would not be one of those weridos that has nice cars but never drives them. A car that shows some rust and scratchs shows the owner likes to play with his toys.
I would vacation all over the world but besides that I am not sure much more would change. I would want the wife unit to be a stay home mom but I am not sure she would go for it. She like being out and about so I really dont know if she would take it. And hell with all of those young ladies helping around the house she might get bored and start throwing frogs in traffic to break things up a little.
What would U do with more money than Opra?

But I am buisy again so I have 2 fast contrabutions to TiTs FrIdAy:

1) She isnt the prettiest but who is looking up past her chest ;-). Its the old Butter-Face, she has a bangin body, but-her-face can use some work.
I am just kidding she isnt bad looking. We all know it isnt about how good the head looks. My only beef with her physically is her arms, they do not look like they belong on her.

2) She is meaty the way a woman should be but i swear she has a head but I cannt seem to find it.

Have a good one ppl I am now off to do the work I have been putting off since 0730hrs this morning....but I think I will make a coffee run first and then go brush my teeth and by then it will be lunch time and then.....

Thursday, August 23, 2007

Fast and Hard....Explicit lyrics Warning!

I have to do this faster than masterbating in a moving bus bathroom. I have soo much to do this week and I do not have time to even piss straight! Last week of these 2 classes so I have my final test and projects due, heavy work load ( hu huh u huh I said load!)
But I just wanted to put in 2 things fo interest:

I have refound an CD I have for years but never really listened to. The name of the band is Bile , the album is called Techno-Whore and I love them. I think they have long since disappeared but I am totally slammin this in my daddy-mobile. The best song so far is song# 6, Compound Pressure. Here let me share with you the lyrics-

I am the scumbag you want to kick,

Because your girl-she suck my dick.

Frustraion eats you from inside, because you know I got a piece of her hide.

So we laugh at you as I'm flying the cum,

I'm the home wrecker and the damage is done.

Your little slut, whore, wife wont be the same,

you make her cum she screams my name!

Compound Pressure

You have no power, I devour,

I got a big fat cock and I shot her face,

swallowed my spunk with no disgrace.

Did her doggy style up her fucking ass,

Bile style bloody and fast!

Let all my friends dog her whenI was through,

she was thinking of you when she fucked my whole crew.

I'm the lowest motherfucker now that is true.

Compound Pressure!

You have no Power, I devour

You aint nothin how does it feel?

Now, the words by themsleves are just down right retarded but set to thrash metal tones and its freakin awesome!
My last topic comes from Japan.

Everytime I buy a 6 pack of my Natural Light Ice (its fucking cheap and taste pretty good) I buy one can or bottle of some beer I have never tried before. Last time I tried Becks, its ok but I am not feeling the werid herby after taste. Not as bad as Heinikens or Asswiser but still not something I will buy in large amounts whenever I want to exercise my liver a little. This time around I bought this Japanes beer called Sapporo, I have seen the trucks and have never tried it. I must say it was good and will probably buy it again. And dont give me any shit about it being a beer made by the enemy car comes from the japs, the best electronic toys I have are made buy them and now this beer. And hell I am a Coors man at heart but my cheating heart loves to wander the aisles and go slumming it when I am poor. I cannt stand Budwiser, American piss water. Becks is better than Buttwipper, king of beers my hairy nutt sack.

It also fills up my huge beer glass nicely as well. The only thing I did not like too much was how it poured out of the can. It was very hard to get the perfect pour going, the head on this thing was fuck huge! ( I said very hard he heh he he).
I also have a really fast HNT.......suprise, this one comes from the wife. 6 cheap beers and one big Jap beer plus a camera equals=

If you look closely you can see what my boxers are hidding......
Have a happy Thursday more day just one more day!

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I am so happy I could crap....

I have something to bitch about that is completely irrelavant to anything in this world. HeHe

On Sunday I was in Barnes and Knoble wandering around trying not to be be seen in the Star Trek book area and the alternate sex area. All those college girls and I did not want to give anyone the wrong idea haha. Mind you I was walking around carrying a 11 month old blowing rasberries at everyone and a four year old freaking out about books on penguins-dont ask I have no idea.

Psst, ever wonder why they put the sci-fi books and gay lifestyle books near each other?(Just kidding they dont, that would probably kill the sci-fi book sells. Most Trekies I know are not gay, they are just a to shy or lazy to bother with anyone that isnt a hooker.)

Anyyyyway, I came across this book:

I love graphic novels, and if you have no idea what a graphic novel is, the answer is in the name. Its a novel with pictures, and no it isnt a fucking comic book! There is a difference damn it! Sin City is a graphic novel to give you an idea of what I am taliking about. At the time I bought this I was unaware that Holy-wood was making this into a movie staring Will Smith.
Well, I real it in one sitting; it was that good. I usually like to spread it out a little but once I got to reading I could not stop. It ruined my work and skool on Monday but in the end I was totaly stoked!
I then proceded to look up this book and to my amazment I found a trailer to the new movie on youtube. But after seeing it I was sick, they completly fucked it up! Lets see, the main character isnt black. I have nothing agaist that, I like Will Smith even thou everytime I see him on the big screen I cannt help but wonder if he can hear anything with them tiny ass ears of his. And I also know a dircetor can change what ever he wants to, he paid for the rights to the story. But come on! The book stays he had blonde hair and blue eyes.
Lets to a run down of what I saw in this fast clip on youtube verses what I read in the real story:
  • The character: In the book he is a white man with long blonde hair, blue eyes living in a suburb style setting who is a blue collar kind of guy. He drinks whiskey throughout most of the book to help him deal with the pains of his new life, alcohol is a big part of the book. The movie: Black guy, bald and brown eyes, living in NYC and is a a scientist. And the preview did not show any type of alcohol issues but there might be, I dont know yet.
  • Story: Blue collar guy trying to survive by the seat of his pants with no outside help agaist nightly attacks of vampires, no idea of what is going on and no company. The movie seems to be going in a much different direction. He is alone but the outside world knows or at least has an idea. The military blows up all the bridges to NYC and some how Will Smith and a dog are trapped here. In the preview they show him driving through the streets in a Viper and carrying a high powered rifle. In the book he drives a station wagon and the only weapon he ever used, other than stakes, were 2 pistols.

Now I know sometimes the story does get changed a little whenever Holy-wood does 'their' version. But this isnt even the same fucking story, and I also found out that this is the 3rd time this story line has been turned into an on-screen abortion. In 1964 Vincent Price played in a movie called Last Man on Earth that was based off of the story. But the author had his name removed from the credits because it was so altered that he wanted nothing to do with it.( Price is another great actor, and original Hollywood Vampire-RIP) . Then in 1971 The Omega Man took another stab at the story, but this time the author had no imput into it. They even changed the vampire element to creatures that have extrem photosentivity. They tried it once more in the late 1990's but fell through. Arnold Schwarzenegger was to play the main character, which mind you was about as close, physically anyway, to what I invisioned him looking like. But this one feel through due to $$$$, no shit on that one. You put Arnie in your movie you better have some deep pockets.

Now we have this one cumming up that is due out sometime in December of this year. I might see it, but with the notion that is a remake of The Omega Man and not a movie of this book I just read. If you like vampire stories go out and check this book out. If you like gay watered down versions of what literature is really about go visit your local movie box office. I dont want to sound like a chicken choking english teach who has not seen a real woman since his mommy died but I really hate when Holy-wood makes movies out of books I have read.

And what I dont get is why do they change it soo much, it would have been cheaper to stay to the book 100%. But then again they would not hae been able to use the newest and greatest computer programs to create a city setting without actually being there and this would also mean they would have to invest into a real character actor. The guy in the book was a real man in my eyes. When you read it you can almost see the emotions coming from this guy and to get that in a movie you would have to find someone who knows real acting. I am not sure who would have been a good choice, I am still thinking about this. I first thought about Johnny Depp but this pirate movies seem to have him a little type-casted at the moment. Then i thought about Christopher Walkin, but I think he is a little too old for the part. But wait, I know: Christian Bale! I think from the work I have seen him do he would have been perfect for this movie. If I ever become a quadzillion-aire I would do my own version of this book but use the actual book as my bible. And Christian Bale would be the main character and maybe use Christopher Walkin as the vampire that taunts him nightly for 4 years.

Enough of that, its too early for anymore typing. And besides, like I said I was pretty useless yesterday due to the fact I locked myself in my office and read this book all day. So I now have a shit load of stuff to do, but I think I will go beat off in the presedent of the company's bathroom first. I love crapping in the big bosses bathroom, it makes me happy. Have a happy Tuesday ppl and yes Captian Corky I am sooo happy that I could shit candy gum drops....want one, I think this one is corn flavored.

Friday, August 17, 2007


This has been one hell of a week for me. Double shifts, skool work, insomnia and anal penetration. Well....maybe not that last part but it was kinda of sucky. It could have been much worse I know but I dont come here to blog about happiness and fucking gumdrops. I come here to bitch and moan like an ovulating hippo on the rag. Damn it I want to rant and bitch about:
-Old ppl in the Thupermarket who think the middle of the isle is the best place to stop and read the contents of a jar of dried prunes without their glasses
-The Portugues guy that lives next to me that never say 'Hi' or 'Good Morning'
-My want of six-pack-abs but the inablity to stop eating
-The fact I want to have sex all the time but the wife unit controls the happy meal box of love (she does give up the happy meal prize I just wanted to bitch haha)
-Why I am not worshiped like the god I am!
-How cum no matter how many times I by lottery tickets my numbers never match the ones on the TV
-When will they have REAL male enhancment drugs?
-That I want my junk food made with lard and not Olestra

I just want to bitch damn it, its my god given right to hate everything I see. It is human nature to want to kill and destroy. That is why jealousy exist, if someone is jealous of what you have they will try with all their might to destroy it. Why? Because that is how we roll. Evil, hating, destructive, stinky hairless apes.
Where am I going with where. I am not in the mood to blog but I am. So there, I think I will post some pictures on the topic of Stink. Why because I can hahahhahaah.

1- What does this have to do with 'stink' u ass? The title of this pic was 'two in the stink' haha

2- Warning: You are about to see nuts and probably a picture of your sister, cousin, and maybe even your mom.

3- Hahahaha, can you smell what KingBush is cookin?

4- I can, if that is a life size drawing of your mans weenie, it would have been hard not to believe.

5- I used to wonder if Smurfet was the commune whore or were they all gay for one another.

6- Now dont get mad, I would never say anything like this to a woman. Because all women know there place when they are around the passengers seat bitching that I should stop and ask for directions. Because Vernon and Verona, NJ sound similar but they are no where near each other. (long story,,,,dont laugh it did happen)

Have a Happy Friday ppl, sorry no tits today, I will try to get some up later. Up on my face that is hahahahahaahahahhaahh. Sorry my wife has huge knockers and I dont share my fun bags with anyone......I am the Nipple Nazi!

(see my baby pic for proof)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007


Its the middle of the week and I have nothing to bitch/blog about.
I even went down a mental list while on the feces depository this morning:

  1. Polotics: Why bother its like masterbating while reading War&Peace. In the end you will be left unsatisfied and frustrated.

  2. The Weather: Nothing wrong there its summer time bitchs!

  3. Work/Skool/Family: Why bother it has to get done regardless.

  4. Money: You cannt bitch about something that isnt there.

  5. Sex: I cannt bitch until I am back to normal. That sand did a number on me.

  6. Taxes: Again why bother, the only way to avoid it is to become a stripper.

But even though I cannt find anything to blog/bitch about I did win something that makes me feel THUPER!

Thank you Jenny, I love when people reconized the we tod did have the power to move bowels as well.

But I needed a little pick me up so I went and looked up pictures named 'wrong' and here is what I found:

1) Wrong1-toooo funny!

2) Wrong2-WTF?

3) Wrong3- ANother soccer mishap, and again WTF?

4) Wrong4- I now know why there are so many stoopid ppl left in the world.

5) Wrong5- I am not going to even touch this one!

6) Wrong6- I think this one goes hand in hand with #4

7) Wrong7-I dont see anything worng here? Maybe because itsnt a Harley?

Happy Hump Day. Now go out and find someone to eye hump!

Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Weekend recap in pictures:

This was a very good weekend with over-time and beach-time. On Saturday I had to guard the company picnic, because we all know how our co-workers get when they have to hangout with each other in a non-work enviroment.
The picnic took place at this day-care faculity in the middleOfFucking nowhere. I had to drive an hour into farm country NJ to find this place. But it was a very peacefull drive and I got to see what kind of house I could buy when I win the lottery. Hmmm, that reminds me I need to buy a ticket!
Over all it was a nice day, lots of food and sun. And I got paid to be there lol.
Here we have the odd metal statue thingie that was beside our table. I am pretty sure Michael Jackson has the same one in his bed room.

The driveway to our table. So many ppl bitching about the walk, but hey free food, pool, paddle boats, driving range, tennis and basket ball courts, mini golf, bingo and free gifts......shut your pie hole and be gratefull.

The many possible things to full your day with fun!

The sun was bright as hell so the nice people gave us a little tent. But I got a real giggle from its name. I think most men can be called E-Z Up hahahaha

On the hour drive home I came across someone who probably should have bought/rented a bigger car. The spend limit was 65, most people doing about 80 and this retard was in the middle lane going about 55. I really do not think this was a well thought out idea.

Oh, well their problem not mine.
Now, Sunday turned out to be a really nice day. We went to the beach! Point Pleasant NJ to be exact. The water was blue, the sun was warm and the parking was $25 for the whole day. But what are you going to do?
Here we have the bro-in-law and Mr.NoNo's palying in the surf.

Hey, look behind you!

The sun has this magical effect on knocks them out!

I was trying to get a picture of the blonde amazon in the brown bikini when this white albino hairless monkey jumped into view.

Here we have me doing the deadman float. I am the one in the blue and white trunks in the middle there. I was doing some body surfing and having fun knocking over the little kids. I am nothing more than a 215 pound 31 year old kid, so look out when I come flying at you in a wave. I will slam into you, run back for more and do it again before you even know what happened.

Can you find the white child that belongs to me?
Me and the bro-in-law discussing who should we try to knock over next.

All went great for this day, but.......I have learned a few things:
A) Do not to let the bro-in-law put spray on suntan lotion on you.
B) No-Rub lotion is a lie
C) Body surfing in rough water will lead to chaffing in bizzar places.....lets just say I am still walking a little funny.
D) Walking barefoot all day will remove callouses like no other. I had really nasty rough feet, I now have the smoothiest feet ever.
E) If you plan on swimming in rough waters do not wear a bikini, your top will come off and there will be men watching and smiling.
F) And lastley, sand and rocks in your trunks can cause very unpleasant side effects on the tip of the mountian.......lets just say cyclopse has a red eye :-x
Oh yeah here is proof of the no-rub lotion myth being busted.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Friday Meme:

I am borrowing a little meme from Boob Hug Betty, it is simple and pretty fast. I never did that '100 things about me', I tried but I was unable to stick with it. I know I have more than 100 things about me I could post but I lost interest half way through and gave it up. So I will do the ADD version so that I can actually finish it and not scare away those whose attention span that mimic's my own. we go!

8 Facts/Habits that I, White-Trash-and-Loving-It, engage in:

  1. I drink enough coffee to qualify as a drug addict. Caffiene is a drug and I CANNT live without it!

  2. I hate anything and everthing automatic in public restrooms. I hate automatic flushers, faucets, hand dryers and paper towel despencers. Unless you have no hands what is the point of these things? The dont save money on any end, they are broken most of the time causing the paper to keep coming out or it will not stop flushing. And then we get to the ones that do not work at all that I smash to peices and now have to be replaced. God forbid the auto matic paper giver is not working and I am drunk! I will tear it off the wall for 3 small slivers of rice paper thin hand wipes.

  3. I hate college. Not that I do not want people edukating themselves I hate what it is as of now. It has very little to with learning and all to do with money. You cannt advance in your job if you do not have a degree (mind you they dont care what the degree is in), so you go to college to get a BA in BS and dont remeber anything other than the huge bill you now have to pay off. The tuition, books and fees go up every year but you never seem to get anything out of it other than a lighter wallet. And dont get me started on the corporation we find on campus now.....Starbucks, Barnes and Knobles, Pepsi, Coke....and you know someone pockets got lined for those deals.

  4. I day dream of punching and kicking just about every other person I see. It makes me feel better and relax's the mind.

  5. I grow facial hair at work as a form of silent protest.....ssshhh dont tell anyone.
  6. I love driving stick. I will probably never buy another automatic
  7. Going to the gym is a must in my book. I miss my days at the gym I am one unhappy camper!
  8. I love round, chubby, voluptuous, big boned, curvy, coke bottle, hour glass, shapely women. I always have, keep those nasty skinny twats in LA. How the hell do you make love to a stick?

I dont have time to go looking up boobs today for my TiTs FrIdAy post. It is hell here at work since 0700 and it isnt letting up. I am totaly wasting valuable company time right now. But I do wish to share a picture of my silent protest:

Thanks to BooB HUg Betty, by the way do you play show and tell. With a name like that I would think so LOL.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

What Grinds your Gears?

I was sitting at home the other day watchin gFamily Guy and Peter got a spot in the news titled "You know What Grinds My Gears?"
It was some place where some fat ass got his own little segment in TV land to spout his nonsense. Which was cool because his brainless twittle was nothing but that, nonsense. But it was here that I started to think about the lack of my own personal two cents on the TV. I want my own TV show where I can show the world what I am thinking about, but then again porn TV would never make it to prime time. And 'The Man Show" pretty much covered what I would have been doing for my half an hour. So this tells me I would need to tweak it a bit. I want to turn it into an empire so I too can start a magazine named after me with every cover with me on it. Damn you Opera and Rosie, that was my idea first!

I need a place I can infect the world with my views and show everyone just how stuid I am. I feel that I am not reaching enough of the world in my little corner of the cyber world.Maybe I need to do what the Jesus Freaks do. And stand on the corner with a mega phone and yell at people as they pass me about how their lives of sin will cause babies in south America to be born without testicles.
Ever see those people? I mean to they really think someone is going to stop and turn off their ipod/cellphone/blackberry/cdplayer and go,"You know what, your right! I am an asshole and I need you to show me the way!"

I always want to stand next to them with bigger mega-phones and shout to the world how I am right and everyone else is wrong.
But in the end that would take to much effort. It is easier to just roll down your car window and blast music from bands like this while at red lights:

To be honest I really have nothing worth saying at all. I am killing time and looking like I am busy as hell typing this thing out. I worked 16 hours last night and I am about to do it again. I am very tired and it is hot as fuck out here. The humidity is that of the inner thighs of Britney Spears on a July day in her home state of LA.
I need to get to class, I have a small project due today and I soo dont feel like doing it. I am trying really hard to get off of here but I am addicted and I need my fix.
I am off to do pointless drivell that affords the money to drink, eat and be mary. But i swear anyone else calls me Mary, I am going to shove a wood pecker into your belly button!

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

Speed blogging:

This is another drive by blogging, fast and furious. Just like your mom likes, I dont hear her bitching!

So fast I dont even care if the pictures I posted were centered by accident lol.

As I have mentioned in the past I am home skooling myself via the internet. It is becoming hard and hard (and not in the good way) to do so from work. They have me doing everything under sun so skool is suffering a bit. So I had to actually do work at home *gasp*

But to help ease this trend in I had a little help. Algebra goes down better with beer!

I also took another home pic of what I have named "THE GAS STATION" We now have our coffee machine and expresso machine side by side. I used the coffee machine for the first time in the new place this morning. I had to be up by 0400hrs this morning. So I set the timer and went to bed. I was awoken to the sounds of my cell phone alarm clock and the smell of fresh coffee. I so love coffee. It made me half human at that ungodly hour!

And in the name of 'Wednesday' I present with you a Happy Hump Day; something on the straight side and something a bit crooked and the off centered side:

1) Never knew Wednesday and the Thing played 'Hide the Pinkie' ? Damn even drawings of goth chicks turn me on......but then again so does watching grass grow, the news and anything envolving friction.

2) I had to post this LOL! Batman always seemed a little gay for the Green Lantern, now I have proof his is a poof!

Happy Hump Day!

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Real quick....

As you can see it's Tuesday, so I went and looked up to see what I could find for this day and look what I got. HeHe.

I really do not have anytime today because of skool and work. I reallllly do not feel like doing either but I know the moment I start everything will move smoothly.

But I did go and look up one of my favorite fantasy topics: Catholic skool girls. Call me a perv or a degenerate i dont care. There is something totaly HOT about that outfit. And to add to the lure , Thigh Highs. You want to see me crawl through broken glass put these two into on outfit and bamb! You got me hook line and sinker. This fantasy begain when I was in cathoholic skool and the thigh high thing came about when I found a magazine called Leg Show when I was just a wee boy. Small danty feet, silky stocking, damn I may need a stiff drink after this post!

Doug put on you blinder now! I am always trying to get the wife unit into this outfit. She does play well with me lol. And she even has a short plaid skirt, I now need that drink.

But I have to run, work is calling. Let me give a little show and tell Tuesday if you will. My fantasy up front:

And who said school was all bad?