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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

I am so happy I could crap....

I have something to bitch about that is completely irrelavant to anything in this world. HeHe

On Sunday I was in Barnes and Knoble wandering around trying not to be be seen in the Star Trek book area and the alternate sex area. All those college girls and I did not want to give anyone the wrong idea haha. Mind you I was walking around carrying a 11 month old blowing rasberries at everyone and a four year old freaking out about books on penguins-dont ask I have no idea.

Psst, ever wonder why they put the sci-fi books and gay lifestyle books near each other?(Just kidding they dont, that would probably kill the sci-fi book sells. Most Trekies I know are not gay, they are just a to shy or lazy to bother with anyone that isnt a hooker.)

Anyyyyway, I came across this book:

I love graphic novels, and if you have no idea what a graphic novel is, the answer is in the name. Its a novel with pictures, and no it isnt a fucking comic book! There is a difference damn it! Sin City is a graphic novel to give you an idea of what I am taliking about. At the time I bought this I was unaware that Holy-wood was making this into a movie staring Will Smith.
Well, I real it in one sitting; it was that good. I usually like to spread it out a little but once I got to reading I could not stop. It ruined my work and skool on Monday but in the end I was totaly stoked!
I then proceded to look up this book and to my amazment I found a trailer to the new movie on youtube. But after seeing it I was sick, they completly fucked it up! Lets see, the main character isnt black. I have nothing agaist that, I like Will Smith even thou everytime I see him on the big screen I cannt help but wonder if he can hear anything with them tiny ass ears of his. And I also know a dircetor can change what ever he wants to, he paid for the rights to the story. But come on! The book stays he had blonde hair and blue eyes.
Lets to a run down of what I saw in this fast clip on youtube verses what I read in the real story:
  • The character: In the book he is a white man with long blonde hair, blue eyes living in a suburb style setting who is a blue collar kind of guy. He drinks whiskey throughout most of the book to help him deal with the pains of his new life, alcohol is a big part of the book. The movie: Black guy, bald and brown eyes, living in NYC and is a a scientist. And the preview did not show any type of alcohol issues but there might be, I dont know yet.
  • Story: Blue collar guy trying to survive by the seat of his pants with no outside help agaist nightly attacks of vampires, no idea of what is going on and no company. The movie seems to be going in a much different direction. He is alone but the outside world knows or at least has an idea. The military blows up all the bridges to NYC and some how Will Smith and a dog are trapped here. In the preview they show him driving through the streets in a Viper and carrying a high powered rifle. In the book he drives a station wagon and the only weapon he ever used, other than stakes, were 2 pistols.

Now I know sometimes the story does get changed a little whenever Holy-wood does 'their' version. But this isnt even the same fucking story, and I also found out that this is the 3rd time this story line has been turned into an on-screen abortion. In 1964 Vincent Price played in a movie called Last Man on Earth that was based off of the story. But the author had his name removed from the credits because it was so altered that he wanted nothing to do with it.( Price is another great actor, and original Hollywood Vampire-RIP) . Then in 1971 The Omega Man took another stab at the story, but this time the author had no imput into it. They even changed the vampire element to creatures that have extrem photosentivity. They tried it once more in the late 1990's but fell through. Arnold Schwarzenegger was to play the main character, which mind you was about as close, physically anyway, to what I invisioned him looking like. But this one feel through due to $$$$, no shit on that one. You put Arnie in your movie you better have some deep pockets.

Now we have this one cumming up that is due out sometime in December of this year. I might see it, but with the notion that is a remake of The Omega Man and not a movie of this book I just read. If you like vampire stories go out and check this book out. If you like gay watered down versions of what literature is really about go visit your local movie box office. I dont want to sound like a chicken choking english teach who has not seen a real woman since his mommy died but I really hate when Holy-wood makes movies out of books I have read.

And what I dont get is why do they change it soo much, it would have been cheaper to stay to the book 100%. But then again they would not hae been able to use the newest and greatest computer programs to create a city setting without actually being there and this would also mean they would have to invest into a real character actor. The guy in the book was a real man in my eyes. When you read it you can almost see the emotions coming from this guy and to get that in a movie you would have to find someone who knows real acting. I am not sure who would have been a good choice, I am still thinking about this. I first thought about Johnny Depp but this pirate movies seem to have him a little type-casted at the moment. Then i thought about Christopher Walkin, but I think he is a little too old for the part. But wait, I know: Christian Bale! I think from the work I have seen him do he would have been perfect for this movie. If I ever become a quadzillion-aire I would do my own version of this book but use the actual book as my bible. And Christian Bale would be the main character and maybe use Christopher Walkin as the vampire that taunts him nightly for 4 years.

Enough of that, its too early for anymore typing. And besides, like I said I was pretty useless yesterday due to the fact I locked myself in my office and read this book all day. So I now have a shit load of stuff to do, but I think I will go beat off in the presedent of the company's bathroom first. I love crapping in the big bosses bathroom, it makes me happy. Have a happy Tuesday ppl and yes Captian Corky I am sooo happy that I could shit candy gum drops....want one, I think this one is corn flavored.


karma lennon said...

Okay, this book has just been added to my extremely long list of books I need to own. Have to disagree with the Christian Bale thing only b/c I've never seen him in anything where he could, you know, act. So here's a question-how badly do you think they'll fuck up "Watchmen"? Have you read it?

honkeie2 said...

Lennon: I cannt believe u dont agree with me, everyone has to agree with me!....just kidding we all have an opion and we are all intitled to them, unless of course you are a relative of King Bush. The no matter what you say we all think you stoopid.
I have never read Watchmen but after a quick search I found all i needed. It is a simple idea with an easy to follow plot, so this tells me holy-wood will fuck it up royally with special effects, bad acting and over the top bullshit. But what I found intersting about the story line is that it mirrors some-what of the plot from 'The Incredibles'

karma lennon said...

Kind of except I'd say "The Incredibles" mirrors "Watchmen". ;) It's truly excellent. One of the problems I see is that there's a story within the story told through a pirate graphic novel. No way will they be able to add that to the movie. But it's essential (in my opinion) to the book.

honkeie2 said...

lennon: I must be a mind reader because I knew you were going to say that The Incredibles mirrors the Watchmen, I knew it lol!
And yeah Holy-wood does not do well with putting in a story in a story. Hell they cannt even handle doing The Punisher correctly and that is pretty black and white.

Jenny! said...

I almost got raped by a group of a book sale when I grabbed a graphic novel for my fiance...they literally busted their nuts on my leg trying to figure out how to get it out of my hands!

Your kids sound adorable...your 11month old should play with my son...they could kick ass together on the playground! My kid likes to roll his eyes at people while blowing rasberries!

honkeie2 said...

jenny: Got to watchout for those guys....hell guys in general. Just be thankfull it was your leg and not your ear or rear.
But mine bite, and i cannt take another playground law suite I cannt damn it!

Samantha said...

I want Christian Bale too, but not for the same reasons as you :D

Betty Boob Hug said...

I know what you mean about being frustrated by what producers and executives do to perfectly loveable, workable books. They can be complete morons! THere are some books that are so amazing and then some bunch of Americans get a hold of it and turn it to shite.

Anyway, stick with your book and your memories. If it made you annoyed imagine how the author felt hey! (unless he was paid a trillion bucks, but even then....)

P.s Penguins CAN be scary to a four year old. Don't know why - but they can! haha.

Betty Boob Hug said...

Oh - and I agree with you AGAIN (holy toledo!) Christian Bale rocks! He has more talent in his little finger than any Richard Gere or J.Lo.

Jenny! said...

Yours bite...mine punches...hard too..and pinches...i have a bruises to prove it!

Martini said...

It may not be a comic book per say, but perhaps a glorified one! They sell graphic novels in comic book stores and there's even a Batman graphic novel. But, uh, I'll shut up now. This isn't helping anyone.

honkeie2 said...

samantha: I kinda figured that lol

boobs: I bet he has alot more talent in his one finger than those rejects.

Jenny: You everytime I see your name I am remeber this line from Forest Gump:
'Jeennay, where you goin Jeennay?'

Martini: yes please dont try to exsplain this little world I live in.