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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Back to our normal ways

Well as normal as I get anyway. The meeting with DYFS went fine, nothing earth shattering just a formality the clear the air. Like opening a window in your car after a White Castle fart. We are still going to meet with the principal of the school to voice our concerns of the impersonal way this was handled. But other than that I am closing the book on it and hopefully I will not have to mention it again.

Now on to mentionings of Two Girls One Cup and the Filthy Sanchez.....and if you dont know about these two things we cannt be friends. These are fundamentals in my arsenal of dirty jokes! Oh and let me not forget to mention the man that produced 'Deep Throat' Gerard Damiano has passed. Leaving behind him a legacy of many grateful men for his contribution to then the Stag Films to the now porn industry monster. This was one of the pioneers of the time that helped open doors to a sexual revolution against the evil government hold we have here. I am not saying that porn should be allowed everywhere but in this day and age we are still seeing law suites about seeing a nipple on tv; well that is just retarded......yes I said retard.....imbecile....moron....stupid....and any other word that means you have your head up your ass with a bible next to it. I support single moms, I give at the strip clubs!

From the filth to the family I now give you G rated material: Pumpkin Carving 2008. And yes I know I jump around alot, its how my mind works and so shall my blog.

We went to a farm about 2 weeks ago to go pumpkin picking but they wanted an arm and a leg for one. And not to mention we had to carry them back from the field our selves.....screw that! We went to the store by us and got 3 big ones for $15 and only had to carry it for no more than 30 seconds.
Here we have Allen using the stencil on what I though was going to be an easy wrong I was!

I love how the brains of a pumpkin feels! I want to rub it on my.......well lets just say I bet that would have felt really cool if I was alone ;-)


After what seemed like forever, working in shifts we finally got this thing done. I had to use birthday candles because that was all we had.
But the effect was the same. It did not turn out exactly how we wanted but it was a close second. And hell some shithead ghetto rat will probably just kick it in any way, this was good enough for me.
I will be doing some more in the next few days, so more pictures to cum.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Me and the bruise.....

Last Thursday I was at my wife's job with the kids saying hello. I played the 'I got your nose' game with my son, a game that I have played a million times. But this time it left a small dime sized bruise. He did not cry or even take note it was even there. The only reason I knew of it was because the wife pointed it out. And that was the last time it came to mind.

Then around 3:30 on Friday I get a call from the wife that DYFS wanted to speak to us about the bruise on our son. I thought she was full of shit, there was no way child services was called on this. It wasn't even that noticeable! But sure enough the school did, the DYFS worker was at our house in less than an hour after we were notified of this. Some children go years without so much of a visit after 15 reports, my little bruised up monkey got the red carpet treatment with just one call;he must be special!

I could not leave work because of the nature of what I do so the wife was the only one available to go home. Now, we are normal people who do not keep their home in spic and span shape so we employed the help of her mother and her brother to run over and do a frantic clean job. Which entailed taking all the laundry that was on the dinning room table to the basement, flash washing the few dishes that were in the sink and shoving everything else under the couch. I never new a couch/sofa could hold so many video games and Elmo dolls!

Now after all is said and done and the social worker is happily satisfied we have beds for our children, that we don't feed them Alpo and that all the S&M toys were out of sight we had time to digest all that had happened. We are not upset with DYFS, they did what they had to do and went away nicely. But I am upset with the school and how they handled their end.

Let me count the ways that the Elizabeth School system shows their fake concern for the children:

1) They felt that a child was being abused so they made a police report and even had the nurse make note that the injury required medical attention. This happened around noon, keep that in mind

2) Child services was called and he was sent back to his class. A child in need of medical attention was sent back to his classroom with no call to a real medical professional that could administer it or a phone call to his parents to state he needed it.

3) At the end of the day he was picked up by our neighbor and he was never informed of a medical condition. Now this point has 2 areas of concern for me. One: A child that has been abused is now being released to someone that might be doing the abuse.....and Two: If he did really need medical attention he was now 3 hours or so with out it.

3) We were not made aware of him needing this medical attention until the social worker told my wife we had to take our son to a doctor because the school nurse made note about it. She took him and got a written confirmation that it was just a minor bruise and nothing more.

4) It is now Tuesday and from what I can tell no one from his school has called to make sure he is doing ok or anything.

From all of this what I got is fake concern and adults coaxing a child into saying something that did not happen. Because according to the police report we got, the teacher said that our son told her that I was mad at him and pinched his nose out of anger. Hmmmmmm in a court room I think this might have gone down as leading a witness, because the moment his nose was bruised it was in the presents of about 5 adults one being an Elizabeth police officer that was at my wife's job working security detail.

The report also went on to say that my son then told the nurse that I pinched his nose because he, my son, was hugging his mommy and that made me mad. Notice how the story keeps getting worse. I am no shrink but I know bullshit when I see it. Part of my rant covers the artificial feelings of concern mainly because all the school did was call a government agency and then wash their hands of it. If there was a true concern here, my son would not have gone back to a home where this alleged abuse took place and a doctor would have been brought in ASAP. But what they did was hand off everything to a third party on a Friday afternoon knowing that they had done there 1% and they were covered. Not that the child was safe or that the medical condition the child was suffering from was treated.

I am tempted to send a letter much like this one to everyone on the school board and even any local paper that is looking for a fun story of neglect, professional misconduct and maybe even endangering the welfare of a child. I know there are many cases where children are in need of help and I do hope that someone spots it before it is to late; but this is not even a case of spanking. And yes I do spank my kids, not like the way I got beat but punishment never the less.

I dont think anyone from my area reads my blog but my son goes to Madison Monroe school 16 in Elizabeth, NJ. I have just left the principal a voice-mail, lets see how long it takes for him to get back to me.....Time and date of first call 12:40pm 10/28/2008.
And just in case you were wondering this is what the bruise looked like on Friday:

Friday, October 24, 2008

No Obama No McCain......

I am soooo sick of this shit that both sides have been slinging that I have finally made up my mind that I am not voting for either of them. But since I am all American and would never not vote I am announcing who I am voting for.


That is right bitchs I am going to put in a ballot to add the great manly god that is Norris! And we all know that if he does win what the world will look like the day he takes office...right???? Here let me give you a visual.....

I will live in the upper part of Ranger, NJ myself.

I wish I had real Photoshop skills, I soo want this bumper sticker!

But enough of that serious talk I want to get into something that made me smile, even more than watching old people fall down! As I have mentioned I am dressing up as a Douche-Bag/Guido and one of my inspirations was this book I saw at Barnes and Knoble, called 'Hot Chicks With DoucheBags' I almost bought it while at the store some time ago but I was not willing to shell out the dead presidents for this douche of a book. But I did sit down with my 6 dollar cup of coffe from Star-Fucks coffe and read while I was in the store.
It would seem the there are 3 women sueing the makers of this book for damages they have endured since their pictures appeared in it. On lady was turned down for a job because of it, another got dumped and I think the other got genital warts because of it. But what I find even funnier is that all 3 of them are from NJ! God I love this state, well I guess this should teach us all a lesson here. Careful with whom you get your picture taken with, it might come back to haunt you. Like that one I have of me ......well lets not go there I might run for president next time and I have to start up with some clean up!

If you want to take a read here is the link to where I found it, just click on the book cover below and the magic ass gobblin that rules the internet will send you on your way.

Have a great weekend to all those who come here for a laugh (all 2 of you, I love all that cum, read and comment!)
Here is a parting pic and a look into my mind.
I LOVE MYSPACE.................

Thursday, October 23, 2008


I don't like to say I hate people that beg for money, hell I have give money to beggars all the time. But I will say I hate certain kinds of people that beg for money. If you want my money you had better have/be one of the following:

A) Have a great story to tell, like this one guy that flagged me down about running out of gas trying to get to the air port and his atm card wasnt work. I gave me 20$, it was all I had and the guy seemed desperate. He was either a great actor or really in a jam. He wasnt dirty, offered me his Movodo watch as collateral and was super polite. Now I know he could have been full of shit but a good sales men gets me every time!

B) Doing something that warrants payment. There is this old guy we used to see all the time in the parking lot of this little strip mall that housed a Blockbusters, Pizza Hut, Wacky Woo's Chinese and a Farmers Market produce store I used to give money to. And yes he would ask for change but he would also be out there with a broom and dust pan cleaning up the parking lot. I gave him beer money all the time.

C) Be big and scary. I used to go to this McDonald's that is right by my house but after this last panhandler I refuse to go. I have had numerous crack heads with all kinds of stories scurry out of the pj's ( that is right across the street from this place) like roaches out of a room after the lights were turned on, asking for money. But the last guy kinda spooked me a bit. He was this big, muscular black dude who said he just got out of the 'joint' and was having a hard time getting a job. And I understand where he was coming from and thanked him for asking for money instead of shanking me for it. And the funny thing is if he had of beaten me for it he would not have made off with any more than I had give him freely.

D) Look like you really need it! Some raggedy old guy with no shoes, smells like death and then some, a beard that would scare off ZZ Top and finger nails that have never seen a file will get money from me every time. Come on, a little beer money isnt going to save him but it might help through just one more night.

And I know giving money to them does not help them but I also know giving money to organizations that are supposed to help them, doesn't either. How many times have we read about the head of the Red Cross getting caught using the money for booze and hookers or the Chairman of the Salvation Army selling the cloths on the side for more money to feed his scratch off lotto habit? So what to do one might ask........well why would I begrudge a man the need for a beer when that was the very thing I was heading out of the house to buy anyway! Just be honest with me, and I know there are not alot of hobos out there that read blogs but if you are going to ask for money be honest.
Like these guys I found on the internet:

1) You had me at 'Hey you got a dollar'

2) I would have just went over and had a footeey withem!

3) I am on the look to find this man!

But the people I wont give money to is people that dont even try or they used gimmicks that just are annoying. The ones in question are these two that stand at the corner by the same McDonalds I mentioned before. They try to play off they are deaf and hand you these photo copied sheet of the ASL (american sign language) alphabet cards. I see this man and woman team hand off these sheets to each other as one shift ends and the other begins. But what makes me not want to give them beer money is the fact they dont even try, they sit there talking to each other and then run over and try to get you to give sympathy money because they are deaf. Yeah ok, not today maybe later.
But they have gotten me interested in learning how to curse in sign language. And for obvious reason haha! I found many learning tools thanks to youtube, and if you want you can look them up as well. I was going to link some of them but I am not in the mood to go through all of them. I will link one though, it is this guys ASL video of a Marylin Manson song, and being a big fan of his older stuff (not this recent limp wristed emo bullshit he has been putting out) I will link it. This Is the New Shit ; go check it out; I am Fill and I endorse this video!

Wow, was that a rant or what!?! I think I need a smoke after that one! WooT! But it is now time to get back to work and go take a nap in my car, it has been a long day so far, I started this post at 10:47 am and its now almost one! So let me wrap this up with a picture I took while running out the door today. I started to collect bottle caps one night I was out back drinking with the neighbors, not sure what i am going to do with them I just like the pretty colors.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Mr. Handy

That is right! I am the two left handed handy man! I can break anything on this planet then call the professionals in to fix what I tried to fix. But this weekend my wrecking skills were well placed when I set my sights on fixing an old computer of ours. It was an old Gateway computer that has been dead for sometime. I got out the best tools that any pc repair man will ever need:

1) A pair of sheet metal sheer

2) A hammer


3) A star head thingie screw driver!

After several attempts at trying to inter-face with the unit I found that all components were not compatible with my hard or soft ware so I tried a different approach. I was going to just install a few new up grades but after seeing what a nightmare of a chore that would have been I opted for some rage and bang.

I had no real delusions of breathing life back into this bitch, all I was out to do was to kick the shit of it; and make sure no one could ever read the hard drive.

So, here I am doing what I do best:
Phil Mad, Phil Smash!

After finding out that I did not posses the right tool to get to the actual hard drive I went for the pull, pry and cut method. And I think I made it mad because it bit me!

But in the end I was successful in making sure that no one would ever be able to retrieve any info off of this thing. I dont think even the government computer gods could get anything off this one!

Then yesterday we I set my Phil Smash ways on my son's new curtains. But with this one I had to use a little more love. Tools used:

1) Drill

2) Leveler

3) Rubber mallet

4) Razor Knife, for opening the packages

5) Screw driver

6) Wife units eyes and mouth.....for telling me it was crooked and that I was doing it wrong. Nothing motivates a man like a good woman behind him calling him stoopid and useless. Well at least it helps me stay focused.....oh look something shinny!

Just kidding folks, the wife did not do any of that, well except for one 'Its crooked' but one little nudge in the right direction is ok in my book. Also take note of the caged monkey on the bottom. He was laughing at me every time I cursed about banging my finger, getting my pants caught in the drill bit and hitting myself in the face with the curtain rod. Nothing says 'I love you daddy' like a well placed laugh at his pain.

Here we have the caged monkey showing off the hat that will be part of his navy man Halloween costume. Funny thing is, that hat is an actual Navy hat. Thanks Doug, when are you going to blog again you lazy bitch!

But he did send us a photo that I had a little fun with. He called it 'Wheres Waldo?' I found him without any real problem, you might have to enlarge it to see my hot photoshop skillz.

Also over the weekend we had our caged monkey take his 2 year old picture and our yearly family picture. I know that my Zoolander hottness just about knocks everyone else out of the picture but if you look closely you can see the rest of the Insanity Phil Klan. And yes that is a skull rock shirt he is wearing.

I am pretty sure I have posted this before but I am going to show all what I am going to be for Halloween. I am going to alter my final project a little but this tutorial is a great place to start when making you very own Guido and/or Douche Bag. I am going for the double popped collar with a pink under shirt, the Phallic bottle of grey goose vodka and sweat bands; all the rest will be as the guide suggest.

So what are you going to dress up as? And i swear if anyone wears that teehirt 'This is my Halloween Costume' I am going to hold you down and crap in your mouth!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

365 on flickr

I have started doing this whole 365 day thing on It is basiclly putting up one picture a day into a set and numbering them. I wanted to do this a while ago but as usual my ADD and internet nudieness has kept me well distracted. But so far I am up to day 9 of my 365. I want to put one of those things that link my photos to my flickr account but I seem to be having a techno weetodd kind of a day. So just follow this link until I can get my head out of my rectum.....Wreck'em it nearly killed him....hahah I love that line!

There are so many things I want to do in this life time that I feel I just dont have the time (or money) to do them. I want to travel so badly, my biggest ambition after high school was to buy an RV and drive to Cali. I still have that dream and I will have it someday, it just wont have wild women, booze and drugs. It will more likely be filled with prunes, bengay and drugs.....just the kind the doctor gives you and not the fun ones. But at least I will have a bathroom right behind me and I wont have to stop to pee; cruise control damn it!

I also want to write a book, I am an avid reader and love writing just never been published. I have no delutions of become the next King or Rice, I just want to die knowing something I created with a pen was made into a book.

Most of my wants in this world really do not come from something you can just buy. Yes I want a house of my own, but that really isnt on top of my list. I became a father to 3 wonderful boys, I finally found the one I will most likely die loving and I have a job that I dont hate. Cars, careers and material things do not show wealth in my book. Maybe its because I do not have the cash to afford it but owning a Porche does not make you any more of a person than someone owning a mule. Yes the guy riding the mule might smell funny and not have any shoes on but he will give you the shirt of his back if ask him.

My wife is taking this philosophy class and her teacher said that people, for the most part, justify themsleves by thier suffering and never know when they are happy. I disagree, I am happy here and now and know I am living during the times I will look back upon fondly in my old age. But then again I plan on never stop making new memories to look back on. I refuse to become stagnant, I refuse to just retire and die. Live life like you will die tomorrow but keep enough in the bank to pay bills just in case it doesnt.

Random pic I took today to post on Flickr:

The wife unit has a thing for crosses, which I think look cool but my interest lie in the art side of them not soo much the religious side.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

I like to curse.....

I do, sometimes I feel as though it is almost like a sport to me. And I do it without even thinking half the time, shit just slips out. I know using such language puts me down the socal ladder and that most people shy away from it, and you know what:

I really do not trust people that dont curse. We just got a new boss and he drops F-bombs almost every second! I still have some reserves about him because he is still new but that one thing makes me want to like him.

And I know some people just dont let words like that out but I know they want to. It is like asking your husband/boyfriend/dad what he is thinking about when a woman in a string bikini walks by on a warm summer day at the beach.
"Gee dear what are you thinking about?" She asks out of the corner of her mouth.
With a bead of sweat starting to form on his forhead he says," Isn't there a seafood shop near here that has steamed breaded clams for sale?"
Everyone has it in them but only the brave dare to blurt it out.

And I dont care who you are when kids curse it is the funniest fucking thing in the world! I know that we cannt allow our little drunken midgets to curse because of our society and that phone call we would get from the school. And yes I have had to correct mine recently, he has taken a shine to Dave Chappel's 'What Did the Five Fingers Say to the Face' song and the other one: Samuel L. Jackson song. Now the Samuel Jackson song it the best and to hear a five year old running around the house singing, 'Mm Bitch, MmBitch Bitch Bitch!' He was corrected and told not to say that and so far he has been pretty good, me on the other wife gives me the evil eye every time I start up with it. I am sorry its funny and I will find myself singing my favorite parts while washing dishes.....'Hows it taste motherfucker hows it taste....Hows it taste motherfucker hows it taste!?'

Part of this little blog came about this morning when my big boss was telling us about the time he had to go to sensitivity trainning for telling an off color joke a few years back when he was still a cop. A cop telling an off color joke!?! Really no fucking way! I am all for people not feeling uncomfortable in their work enviroment but when I have to check everything I say because I might offend someone with a good old fashion out burst of 'CockSuckingMotherfuckerTwatShitBastardCuntBreathAssholePeterPuffer!'
But these days we are faced with signs like this:

And This:

Nothing pisses me off more than being told I cannt do something as fundamentaly rightous as cursing. If I offended someone on my blog with my language then good, please leave a dirty comment and go away. The lunacy that is this cluster fuck of a policy has just gone wrong. I curse at work and no one cares, and it is never in a manner that would call someone out to make them feel bad. It is just a sentence enhancer, you can make a boring sentence spicey with just a splash of 'fuck' and a sprinkle of 'shit' (thank u sponge bob)! -And if you get that refernece we should hang out and drink beer until we vomit!
I can go on and on about this but I am getting bored with beating a dead horse, even though beating a dead horse would probably be alot more fun. Tits Tuesday and I need a day off all ready!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Ahhhh Monday....

It is soo nice to get back to the office on Monday to rest! Weekends are not for resting, they are for running around and doing all the things that keep you from cleaning your house and doing laundry. Mind you this is the time you really should be doing chores, but since I don't live with my mom anymore and neither myself or my wife are clean freaks......the laundry goes from the clean pile to the 'to be washed pile', the desk has become a housing for bills I might pay once I get around to it, the kitchen.....the kitchen is clean 99% of time because I dont want bugs and hate stinky left overs. And as for the rest of the house, we have a 5 year old and a 2 year old who are hell bent for destruction; enough said. Now on with the fun times.....

Saturday we went to a birthday party at a skating rink. I have not put on skates in almost 8 years, since my last and final spill down a flight of stairs. I love skating but the old saying about not getting back up on the horse once you fall off, is very true. I had a near skull cracking fall that a dive roll saved me and hung up my skates ever since. But the fear is gone and I really would love to get back into it, minus the railing, stairs and ramps. Just a nice skate around the park, with only a few attempts at some old tricks ;-)
These are the skates they gave to me at the rink, I thought they did not make them like this anymore! They were uncomfortable, the wheels were worn very uneven and the fact I was a bit wobbly on them made it all that much worse.

After the kids were all geared up we set out to skate. I did not fall once! Which is surprising, because in the old days if I did not fall at least once while skating I was doing something wrong. I almost went down, and I blame the skates. The wheels were so unevenly worn that when you took a turn they would almost slide out from under you. But I kept up right and did not go down! But Seth on the other hand had a different story.
Seth, the 5 year old, got his own pair but spent most of the day like this:

After the pizza (which was OK at best), chicken nuggets, fried cheese sticks and cake we went home to get ready for trip #2. I had to take out all the seats in the wife's car because we were going to pick up a dinning room table and a book case from a friend of hers. Of which we stuck the book case outside, that lasted a whole hour or two before someone took it, and kept the table. It is not as sturdy as the old one but it doesn't take up as much room.
Now while I was out there I saw this truck that was covered in angel stickers, decals, stuffed animals and a home made set of wooden wings attached to the front bumper. I was so intrigued by this thing I had to go get the camera! I later found out it belonged to our neighbor's father who was up for the simulated drowning (baptism) we were all going to the next day. And all I can say about his truck is this; I love boobs I cannot deny that fact at all! But I would not decorate my car, bedroom or office in boobie paraphernalia. Not that I would think anyone would be offended by it, who the hell doesnt love a good rack?!?! I just would be worried people would think of me as some kind of weirdo and avoid me and egg my car. I do not wear my heart on my sleeve or my car. So, think twice before putting something on your car that tells the world how you think. You might come out to a car with flat tires, key markings or broken windows. And I heard that cops really do not like that bumper sticker 'Bad Cop - No Doughnut' Even though I think its funny as shit!

We went to Costa del Sol in Union , NJ for the after party for the removal of sins from those we have never met. The food was great, the beer and wine was flowing and no one got smashed. Well at least by the time we left no one had thrown up and no one was hitting on the girls from the Sweet 16 that was going on downstairs.

But can anyone tell me why 15 or 16 birthday party for a girl has to cost almost $13,000! I do not have any daughters (thank you!) so maybe this is a lost idea on me. But if shelling out the same amount of money for a BIRTHDAY that could get me a new car isn't insane I don't know what is. And if I ever do have a daughter and she want some fairy tale birthday I will give it to her, with the stipulation she not ask for a car, money to got to college or a wedding gift! This girl had better marry a rich man if she wants to maintain the delusional life she is being led to believe exist.

Thursday, October 09, 2008

The upward spiral...

We all have our strong points and we all have our weak points, one of my weak points has always been art. Or the ability to create art; I can not draw, paint, sculpt, or even make half way decent looking crafts from pipe cleaners. I have taken many art classes and I still do not seem to have that ability in me. This also falls in the art of music as well, I cannt carry a tune even if it was glued to the tip of my.....nose. But that does not stop me from liking any of it or appreciating it. I like trans and techno music but by no means can I dance or rave lol!

This leds me into this set of pictures the wife unit has sent to me from her brother who is now on the USS Theodore Roosevelt. He is out some where getting ready to bomb some strange land we dont own or owe money to yet. You see NavyMan is very skilled in many art forms; from drawing to music. He might even be a DJ or a starving artist someday. But till then he does what he does for the fun of it. Well, he might charge people for it; hell he should!

So without any more of my poor grammar and useless drivel I give you the 'Up Ward Spiral' by D.Pistone, aka THeNavyMan.





5) The finished product!

6) The original picture he was working from.

No also keep in mind he is working with hydrolic fluid, navy blue and camo green as a meduim. The military does not supply high grade crayons while on tour. The are affraid the enemy might get a hold of one of those boxes that has 15 different shades of red and learn how retarded we really are.

I wish I had 10% or that ability, but with what I lack in pen I make up with camera:
I took every fruit I could find in the house, the left over bit of ice cream and some low fat milk and made one hell of a smoothie! Hows it taste Mudder Facker Hows it taste!?! Taste pretty damn good too, the question isnt 'Will it Blend' the question should be 'How Will it Taste Once it is Blended'

Monday, October 06, 2008

The weekend in Pictures....

We had a fun filled weekend that anyone who enjoys white toast sandwiches with lots of mayo would have loved. We went to Alstede Farms out in Chester New Jersey to do some pumpkin picking. We took the kids out in the mommie transporter (mini-van) and the ATV Radio-Flyer to have a fun day out with the hicks and city folk.
Here you see the 2 little devils in the red wagon made for this type of outing.

And of course we had to do the the uber-white-tourist picture of the family acting like animals! Bring out the cider!

They had pigs, chickens, peacocks, goats and cows for all the farm deprived city folks to hem and haw at. Here we see what Seth (the one in grey) thinks about the smell of the pigs. He had one index finger up each nostril, man does bacon smell bad before its cooked!

They had this one chicken that had a horn growing out of its head. See unicorns do exist, they just missed the mark on which animal it was supposed to be. But hey, maybe back in the day those chickens were as big as horses and the stories just got changed around in time.

They had the store that sold all kinds of homemade and fresh items, which I believe were all organic. Even the red dye #3 for the candy apples was freshly squeezed!
Here we have me seconds before taking a beating from Lucas with his brand new farming truck. He is so lucky I am used to taking shots to the head from items rednecks use!

Say high to my oldest, Devon. He is 12 going on 13, and I am 32 going on that means I was 19 when he was born! Long story for another entry, if anyone is interested let me know if I should do a 'How I ended up a teen dad' blog.
Me, Lucas and the red wagon. Man I am like 4 feet taller than him, bigger does mean better lol! Jagger Bombs!
They had numerous things for wired up children to climb on; to burn some of that never ending supply of spaz juice kids seem to make. The tower of hay and the hay tunnel, I climbed the hay tower with no problem but I was not about to do the tunnel. I dont have many pairs of nice jeans so I wanted to try and keep these OldNavy ones as unstained as possible.
I saw this worm eaten wood and thought it look strange enough to take a picture of. As one can tell I have been in the city for way too long.

ThePistone-LedetFamily .......Yes I noticed I did not space those words out, making it that much harder to google or yahoo my ass.

There were tons of hot-soccer moms to go around here and some not so hot soccer-moms ass well. I walked right up on this one and had to do it!
And from one big ass to another I give you donkey! He wasnt as lively as the one in those movies and he did not sound like Eddie Murphy either. I kept asking him about Rick James and all I got out of him was a pile of poop. Sometimes actions speak louder than words.
All in all the kids had a blast and I got some apple cider. Does anyone know how to turn apple cider into apple cider booze?
The only thing i have against the farm, was that it was a bit expensive. They seem to know most of these corny ass honkeies were loaded and were going to rape them with these prices but come on. I did not go in the corn maze because it was too much money. $10 a person! We let the kids go in and run around like idiots but I just did not want to cough up the dough for the privilege to walk throw some corn. I will just wait until it comes out on dvd.
On Sunday we went to the in-laws house to do some closet clean up. We still have some crap in the closets and we needed to get out some of the kids winter cloths from storage. While there I took out this old Pioneer stereo system I have had sine 1993! I was one of those kind you hook up to an entertainment center. It has the receiver, the dual tape deck *gasp* and a 6 cd cartridge changer player. It has these things that look like an 8 track cassette that hold 6 CD's. I have about 5 of them, in different colors too. This was the stereo I used to pirate my CD's onto tapes back in the day when hand held cd players sucked ass and skipped if you so much as touched the damn thing.
It works just as good as it did back in the day, I am not sure how much I am going to sell it for. Hell I am not even sure anyone would want it. I still have all of the original operation instructions that came with it and all the wires too. All it needs is some speakers and its all set! Anyone interested?
While there I got this strange shot of the sister in law doing what everyone does on a Sunday afternoon that is allergic to fresh air......MYSPACE! Lets see; if I was single, had the day off and was pretty much free the last thing you would see in fornt of me would be a computer. But that is just me and to each their own. I mean there are lots of people out there that would find hiking, fishing, mall ratting, going to the beach, taking a bike ride to no where or taking a ride out to the middle of nowhere to kill chipmunks with their car a complete waist of a day. And then again I am sure those same people would all agree wasting 8 hours on WorldofWarCraft is not a waste at all.
Also while there the wife unit was horsing around with the oldest and bent her ring. Lets just say she wasnt thrilled, not one bit! But the little shiny rock that has driven many men to kill never fell out and I will be on my way to a jew-ler later today to get it fixed. Funny thing about the jewelers I go to none of them are Jewish.....what I am not stereotyping....hell by heritage I am a Jew too. But do you see me wearing one of those beanie things, dressing in black and having lots of money...noooooooo!
Happy Monday folks, hope I offended someone today and if not let me know how I can so I can the next time you come back.
Quote for the day:
"I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man's reasoning powers are not above the monkey's."
-Mark Twain-