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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Random whatever,

I actually have a minute to goof off so I thought I would throw down a post. So here goes:

I took this pic about 2 years ago at this local grave yard were someone my wife knows is buried. I might have even posted this pic once before but I am too lazy to troll around my own blog to see. I was just looking at the pictures I have on flickr and I happen to like this one. Not only is it perfectly weathered to give it the perfect gothic look, but also if you look in the bottom left corner you can see the Busch beer eagle. There is a huge beer factory right behind the grave yeard, I would love to work there haha. Actually, I think that might be a bad idea haha.

I dont have a HNT for this week, I am finally back to blogging a little bit more than usual. I will try for one next week, i am going to try and find a picture I took of myself a few years ago and then take on of me know. I was at my heaviest then, and now I am at my lightest. I must go out and start looking for this picture. The abouve picture is my avantar for this web site I just joined, IronMan. Now that I have gotten alot of that fat off I am now going to change gears a little and put this same effort into the gym. I know I will never look like Lee Hanney or the Dorrian Yates or my fav Gunter but instead I am aiming for this:

I know even that is a pipe dream but hell we can all have dreams of grandure damn it! His build is just about perfect, not to big, no veins bulging out over his body and he is very porportional. Unlike this freak:

I know of this guy and everytime I see him I am always curious to what the fuck goes on in his head. Hell he really cannt read the top of his head with hands?!?!
For those of you who are unfamiliar with the icons I mentioned before here are some visuale aids. This is Dorrian Yates:

This is Lee Haney, one of my teen idols in the sport-Other than the god Arnold haha:

And what post about body builder would be complete without one of my favorites, Lee Preist! One of the under dogs, along with Gunter. They are proof that there is tons of politics involed with the sport. Why some people seem to be over looked while others seem to keep winning, *cough Coleman cough* Roid gutt should not win shows.

But after all these dudes and this underling homo-erotic feel I got going here lets show some thing manly. Look away if you find hot asian chicks in white panties!

Damn, I feel the manliness on the rise as we speak, the urge to work out and beat my wife's head agaist the head board is in full swing right now.......sorry about that last part Doug, but you know I am sleeping with your sister after all hahhahhaaha. But really I will leave you with a better visual, maybe this will wash away that mental pic I just gave you:

Hope everyone haves a fun day, I am off to get some more coffee. I am working another midnight tonight.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007


I have been awake now for 17 hours, I had to work the midnight shift. Well I didnt have to but I am a bit of an overtime whore so I did it. I am running on fumes right now and I will not be leaving here until 1730. That will be 20 hours, I wonder how long I can go before I really crash? Never pushed it like that......for fun. I have gone I think 32 hours once, work and life was to blame for that. But then again those were the days I worked to get away from the(now) exwife. It was one of those marriages where the husband has a million and one hobbies to keep him always on the go. I did not have the bowling leauge or guys night out, I had jobs. Why waist perfectly good time to make some cash sleeping.
HAHA I just dozed off, I love when I do that while I am typing something. I always come to completely confused on what the fuck i was typing. I have had to reread what I had type minutes before to get ankkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk ooppss did it again, but this time my finger got stuck.
I am going to end this now and go and hide somewhere for a nap!

Monday, March 19, 2007


It has been......11 days since I have posted last! That is the longest span of time I have ever had in my blog that was not related to a vacation. Two variables are to blame for my slack time:

1) Work: My co-worker that covers the front desk so I can hide in the back left for New Mexico. The person who sits at this post is my bread and butter to my freedom at work. So the new person they sent needed training, which is a time consuming project in itself. They gave me the new person on the day he was schedueled to leave, so I had one day to her going. That was the 9th, the following week consisted of me budgeting my time with her and my usual stuff that I have to get done. Then on top of that the government has seen it fit to make us take this new security training, but I will get into that in a minute.

2) The second thing that has killed my surfing and blogging has been my online schooling. I wont say it is hard but it is time consuming. I hope that now I have this new person trained I can goof off more but we will have to see. So far so good, she is holding her own at the moment while I am goofing off right now hahahahaha. But the online school has helped the family with the fact I am on my way to getting my degree faster and I dont have to leave home to do it. I does mean I have to use the home computer now for more than porn and funny's but at least when I am done with my work I can troll on over there lol.

But life has been going good, I am still with weight watchers. For thos of you who hate people that can loose weight fast you better stop reading for a few sentences. I have been with it now for 4 week and I have lost a total of 18 pounds......and counting! And if anyone has tried weight watchers and says it doesnt work I would say try it again and this time get anal about it.....hehehehe I said anal......It does work if you follow it to the T. I go to the meetings and hear people talk about having a bad week or a bad day, hell I have them too but I right myself for the following week or day. This is how it has been for me:
Week one- My starting weight was 222.6lbs.

Week two- Weighed in @ 216.2, I lost 6.4lbs.

Week three- Weighed in @ 207, I lost 9.2lbs. But this week I ate Taco Bell and had the shits for about 3 days. And yes I blame Taco Bell, it was the only thing I had to eat the day before I got the green apple splatters. Thank you Taco Bell hahahahahaha

Week four- Weighed in @ 210, I gained 3lbs. I knew this was going to happen though. I had a bad week, I ate at Taco Bell again.......what can I say I love that shit! And then I ate at Charlie Browns, it was a very bad week! And also I knew I would gain something back once I started eating normal food again.

Week five- 3/18/2007 I weighed in @ 204.6, Lost all that I had gained and then some. Total for that day-5.4lbs

So it does work if you follow what they tell you. What I like about them is that you dont have to buy their food like Jenny and that other one that Joe Marino has sold his soul to. All the food they use comes from the food store, they do have some prepackaged weight watchers food but its primarily snacks with low points. Like methadone for the recoving addict, just something to take the edge off lol. What I think helps me move the weight alot faster is the fact I have been excersing along with my diet. They say not to start working out until week 3 but I was not about to stop my work out for 3 weeks!
I have not been this light in a while I was almost up to 230 before I knew I had to get something going. I hope to be slim and trim by the last week of May, just in time for summer time!

Now, about that new government mandated training I mentioned before. According to new regulations anyone that is or wants to be a security guard has to be liscened by the state government. The training comes to about 300-400 smackers! It covers the test, finger printing, CPR training and back ground checks. Now.....I have been with this company now for 5 years and have been bonded by them and liscened throught them. But reguardless of what you have done in the past everyone has to go through this, the funniest thing is the finger prints. They have not change since I got them done last and the company they used is supposedly intergrated with the government. Soooooooo if that is the truth why am I doing that again, did they lose them in the email? But after pondering this for a whole second I figured out it that this is all about money in someones pockets. Lets look at the evidence to how I came up with this:
  1. Everyone has to be CPR certified again, even if you are a doctor or a paramatic you have to take this class. And pay for it.
  2. You have to take the training for the state test, which is 8 hours for 2 days. They gave us a practice test on the first day to show us what they are looking for, I missed 5 questions! 5! On material that I have never seen I passed, does anyone see a problem with that? I could not pass the bar or the test for my black seal liscense on a dry run but I can pass the state test for a flash light cop so I can get a McJob.
  3. You have to get re-finger printed at the same damn place again. Which is in the worst part of town tucked away in the back of Exxon gas refinery in Linden,NJ. But mind you like I said before my finger prints have not changed since the last time I did this with the same government agency finger printing service.
  4. The liscense is only good for the state you are in. If you move from NJ to NY you have to take it again and pay for it all over again.......does anyone else smell the money trail here?

Now, once this all done you get a liscense that says you are now certified by the state of NJ, or whatever state you do this in, to get a security guard job. The up side to this that is in my favor is that I am now personally liscened to do my job. My resume has now just jump up a notch. Now if I apply anywhere I can say I am already certified to be a want-to-be cop. You bet your as I am going to hold this over my current employeers head. The moment I get this liscense I am putting my resume out and see what comes back. Or I might wait until I have my degree, I am only a year away from my associates(sp). So far this company does not show any potential for the future, old ways of the 70's are not my style. With a degree and this faux-certification I will now be even more economically viable! I will then be the best white collar whore......selling myself to the highest bidder with the best benefits and retirement package!

While I was taking the training I kept dozing off so I did what I do best to entertain myself. I popped out the camera and I stole things. (It was held at this hotel and they were having other types of coventions at the same time, every break we got I would raid the other rooms for food and drinks)

1) The guy rubbing his eyes never stopped eating. He was this werid old guy that had some oral obsession. Once his food ran out he was drinking tea or/and coffe. And the whole time he was chewing on something, if it wasnt gum it was a straw. I was more entertained by this guy than anything said in the training.

2) To make it look like I was involved I took 'notes'. I filled about 6 pages a day with nothing but nonsense and doodles. Now when I say nonsense I mean absolute absurdity. I will get my 'notes' for a later post and type out what I wrote, or maybe I will scan them. I am soo glad he did not want to see what I writing about for 2 days. lol

3) I left little notes all over the place for people to find.

4) I snuck off to the bathroom alot, look how hapy I am!

5) Cheap bastards only paid for coffee and tea, would have killed them to set down a fruit bowl or something?

6) They kept this pitcher of water on our table, I downed about 3 myself. I was in a water drinking contest with myself......and you know what.....I lost!

7) My little notes found their way onto all surfaces, luckily they did not give us markers!

8) If you can guess what this is, you get a prize! But watch out it spits.

9) After the last day my head kept ending up in the down position. I finally laid my head on the table and stared at the carpet until I started to hallcinate. The colors, the patterns, I can almostn taste hammock.......god save the drag queen!

I have not proof read any of this, I am back off to school and work so forgive the grammatical errors. I am going to try and buget my time so that I can get atleast 3 post a week. I love "TITS FRIDAY" post so I think I will make a real effort for that one and HNT ass well.......exspecally since I no longer have that lower gut thing going hahaha.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Happy Birthday WeeMan

Yesterday the WeeMan turned the BIG 4! He is still as hyper and happy as ever. And boy does he love him some cake. Well, even on this diet I have to have a piece of two.....followed by about 4 large glasses of water. I kid you not on the water, I drink enough water on a daily basis to drown most ppl. So far today I am up 100 fl.oz! And I just filled up my 50fl oz. bottle again, I peed soo many a day it is almost worth wearing an adult diaper lol. Maybe I can qualify to be an ass-tronaught.

He could not take his eyes of the love of the moment.

Mommy and baby, well not a baby anymore but still our baby.

It did not last long.................for a store bought cake this thing was ficking great!

I had the digital camera, the 35mm and the camcorder......I think I am turning Japonese!

I know its Thursday and a HNT pic is due but because of school, work and life I have again forgotten. But I wont let you go empty handed. Here is what I found on my camera after setting in down next to a drunk man. Here we have the prelude to the roll and flick technique.

This is a short post...I am off to class again and to the bathroom again.....I have a faucet for a penis!

Monday, March 05, 2007

Monday ......

Another week closer to summer time! I sit here in my office looking at summers past and dream of summers future. We are planning on getting season passes to SixFlags Hurricane Harbor again. The price keeps going up but the attractions never seem to change. I could see a jump in price if the rides kept getting better but I still only see the same ones. There are alot of things that irritate the shit out of about about the SixFlags but at the moment I dont care about them. All I want is the summer to be here. But then again the moment it gets here time flies, why cannt the winter fly as fast as the summer? But the winter is the time of the year that makes us love the summer that much more:
Last Summer Fun
1) This slide gives me the worst water wedgie you could ever imagine. It is a ride and an upper colon cleaner as well.
2) A sea of man-titties!
3) WeeMan and his floatey. We need to get him a new one, he can spend the whole day in the lazy river in this thing haha.
3)Lets see: I see man titties, a really overly white guy, I tan with my shirt on dude, several MILF's, and a whole bunch of ' I spent the whole day at the pool and didnt have to pee once' kids everywhere.
In other news I have offically lost 16lbs as of Sunday! My wife wants to bite off my head but thank you Weight Watchers. This is the lightest I have been in years! I am going to keep it going and see what happens. I do not really want to go to my goal weight of 185, that is too low for me. I want to be thin and sleak, not Stavin Marvin.
And you might have noticed I put the word verification thingie up. I had to, I came to my computer this morning and I had about 30 annonomous comments from spammers world. I never cared about spam before but this was out of hand. I had to try something, this is step one. Lets see if this helps.

Thursday, March 01, 2007

My trip To,,,,whats the difference?

Well my trip didnt get off as early as I had hoped for but oh well. Some of the best laid plans get laid to waiste.
I got on my way at 5:30 pm NJ time. I set the mileage counter thingie to zero to see how many miles it traveled. And yes it was 32 degrees out when I left Friday night.

Here is my Saprano-ish photo shot driving down the Turnpike, or aka RT95.

After a few near death exsperineces with the truck drivers me thinks me should drive faster, and faster and faster!

I did not take any pictures the moment I got there because I was delirous from driving. I got there a little after 11:30 pm. Not bad in my book. Here we have me having an Hero IcePop for was Wolverine flavored. Taste pertty good to me!

We really did not do much during the day. We went to the gym on base, which was very nice and clean. I just wasnt felling those showers. Big open room with noozles on the walls, no dividers or anything. Creepy!
Later that night we stopped by the base happy store bought some Captian and diet Dr. Pepper and head over to one of his old supervisors house.

We drank..............

and drank..................

And drank................

And drank some more.

Then played some pool. And yes, it kinda looks like that if you were wondering.

We hung out in his garage in the back so it got a little chilly at times. So instead of a whole lot of man spooning he turned on this jet engine thingie he had in there. It heat up the area in almost 2 minutes flat. Hell, all you need was some sand you would have sworn you were some place tropical......with the exception of the smell of cheap beer and motor oil.

Its a heat bazooka!

Guess what kinda bikes he likes:

We played pool with his kids, and yes they whooped our asses.

The Captian made us do it!

Here we have, I dont know what the hell this thing was. But I had a blast squeezing the shit out of the entire night.

Well after that we went home and crashed into our beds.......seperate beds!......I had to head out the next day. I wanted to get out by noon but the captian told me to sleep in a little bit. I end up getting on the road by 2 pm...or sooo...i dont remeber. But this is a picture right before I left. I did not drive my car since I got there so I know 330.4 miles was the exact number of miles form my house to his. Notice it is a whole 10 degrees warmer there!

I have wanted to do this since the first time I saw this sign. Would you want to live in a town called Onancock? hahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

The trip back was a bit more suckier mainly due to the fact the moment I crossed over into NJ bad weather and snow hit. I was like driving through a black hole or something. 'Now entering Jersey, Fagit Aboutit'
It was about the time I got home that I came down with something nasty in my tummy. That was equally nasty out of my ass. But you know what........3 weeks ago I weighed 222, and yesterday I stepped on the doctors said 210! Holy fucking jesus on a plus sign! I have not gone that far down in years! Weight Wathcers and food poisining/virus/the green apple splatter got my weight just flying off!