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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Ahh my old fwend....

I have to try and blog more but time is fleeting with me these days. I am moving this weekend to our new place, which is going to be a nightmare. I hate moving and we still need to pack so much it isnt even funny.

I look at all the shit we have and I no fucking clue where to start! How do humans amass soo much crap? I am not a pack rat so I really do not have much that I dont need or do not use on a regular basis. And if I come across useless dust collectors I send them to ebay hell, as if to say " I did not want to throw this away, so here you can buy it so you can."

Packing has to be one of the worst things to have to do on a weekend that is going to have some of the nicest summer weather! To make it worse I have all kinds of work problems this weekend that I could be earning some needed overtime.
But oh well, once it is all over I think everything will be cool. And on the note of cool I got a promotion at work. So now I have even less time at work to play. My computer time is taken up by work and skool. I am waisting time right now screwing off but I need some time off for a second. My promotion comes with new jobs, which is cool but man on man am I bogged down. All I need now is this damn degree and I can get an office with my name on it and buisness cards haha.
But I am off to the gind again.....oh I almost forgot to mention that it is fucking hot, like behind the devils ball bag hot! Hooray for summer! Send some love and send me some bikini pics :-D

Thursday, June 21, 2007

Missing days...

Skool, life and work is really killing my blogging. I used to be soooo good at this but my slacker ways and the fact I HAVE TO DO somethings is killing my free time. But I will try to keep faitfull to my random nothingness. I love random nothingness!
Fathers Days was great, and thanks for all of the well wishing. I see an old friend from the 80's stopped by. Come again Sunrise, bring some of that Cali sun over here lol
I got an IPOD Shuffle, I am not a techno geek but I do have a few dodads here and there. I had to update my home pc before I could use it. The Itunes version I had was 3 years too old to work with the new hardware. But it is now up and running, holds about 250 songs and is about the size of a chiclete(sp). I am so affraid I am going to swallow this thing while running or something.
We went to the American Museum of Natural History that weekend as well. The wife unit had to go and get some information on some exibits for a class she is in. I am pressed for time so I am just going to post some fast pics and be on my way. This is a drive by posting:

Nightmare horse

Whos head is bigger?

I want that shinney flashy thingie!
Wife unit and Mr. NoNoS
Museum BooBies!
More museum boobies!
And lets us not forget the hairy penis.
Nor can we forget the nagging in laws. And if you notice I think Ugg up there is getting ready to send her on her way to Florida.
Me and Mr.NoNoS
Douche bag and Douchet. She wasnt to bad but he want to be an etrxa in the Sapranos or something. Fuggit ABout it!
Imagine this nipping at your toes in the ocean!
Let the beer rain down on me!
Peddle faster baldy I think the police are coming!
I think an IQ test should be given before they let you have vanity plates.
This is what you call an instant baby cleaning machine. We put him down on the floor at my moms house and her dogs licked him clean. Some say its nasty but they say dogs mouths are cleaner than ours. So kissing the baby is really unsanitary.

Friday, June 15, 2007

Sorry for the sap.....

But I can not fail to mention that this weekend we will find ourselves facing another holiday, of sorts: Fathers Day. I was not really giving it much thought until I cam across DiamonDKt's blog. I saw a previous post of his named "Dear Dad". And since June 17 is coming up I figured how appropriate. He wrote it 2006 about his dad and what his father ment to him. It is a very touching story that all men should read on how to be a father. Any man can help create life but it takes real power to be a man that can live up to the name: Father.
I grew up fatherless and even out right rejected by my brothers father and later estranged from the man who adopted me and gave me the name I carry now. I never had much of anyone I called 'dad' or anyone I looked up to. The man who adopted did his best, I think, but he made a fatal flaw: He told me to pick between him or my mom when they went through a nasty divorce. He was hard and really knew what he was taking about, most of the time, but we never clicked. He was overly educated and I loved to light things on fire with air plain glue. I do thank him for getting to read as a child and showing me that there is a real difference between the classes of people. He tried and took upon something most men probably would have never done, so he was not in all a bad guy. But never ask a child to pick between parents. My mom never told me to stop talking to him or tried to interfier with our relationship. He made his choice and so did I.
Now my brothers father was a whole different story. I thought he was my dad until I was in 5th grade ( no clue to the age ) I never caught onto the fact he had a different last name or that my brothers seemed to spend more time with him, my mom had divorced him by then. Then over a Christmass break he used me in a court battle with my mom to get soul custody of his son, not me. I did not know, it kills me to this day. Typing it out is even a struggle so sorry about the poor everything in this post. Lost of run on sentences haha.
I was mad at everyone for lieing to me but in the end I knew why they did what they did. I still dont understand why he did what he did. People really do not think about other peoples feelings before they act. It can take something small that can set someone off and this set me off. I am not sure how or what it did but I vowed to never use my children in any way like this.
I am the father of 3 wonderful sons, and I want to be the one that they write storys like DiamonDKT did. I am seperated from the oldest mom and I do not see him much. I try my best to give him what he wants and needs with the little time I have with him. It is a little easier with the other two, I live with them. But I try to give them all a little bit of me and maybe, just maybe one of them will come out better than me. I need someone to take care of my broke ass when I get old haha.
What I see through his post is that kids really do remeber they toys they got or did not get, they remeber the time spent with them. We willl miss them when they grow up and leave but that is how it goes, but love the time we have with them. Those first 12 years are probably the most important when I comes to your relationship with them. Lucky for me I got the lesson in what not to do with your kids.
I think I am done with this for the moment. I know I will probably come back to this topic but for not I think I need to go get a drink........or water. I am still at work haha.
I still do not know who my father is, I do not talk with either of the men I once called dad. I dont need anything from anyone that I cannt get myself. I have a family of my own and I hope to do right by them. Must things in life have a reason, but some of it is nothing but the practical joke called life. But no one I know is laughing at there tragedies, some wounds dont heal. Everyone that lives life to the fullest knows that. I regret nothing but the fact I will not live long enough to reek havoc on everyone on this planet.
So as you can see I am not a big advocate on Fathers Day, I do not have one. But I am one and I can write my own Happy Fathers Day. This is for all the ones who feel they father failed them. If they did then to hell with them, just be better than them and do all the things they did wrong right.
Oh yeah here is the post from DiamonDKT

Thursday, June 14, 2007

HNT Look away....i warned you....

I have not done a HNT pic in a while. But while at work the other day I looked down and noticed why I love this pair of pants. I noticed a few of the females at work looking in the Johnson area and was curious to what was going on. At first I thought my fly was open or I had spilled something on the one eye gopher.

But no, it was the fact these pants make my giggle stick look huge. Now, I am no porn star but nor am I a weinkie pinkie. But these pants give the illusion that I am packing some serious heat. And since no one in my office will ever know the truth I can keep them guessing.

Hey you can look all you want and speculate all you want, the reality might not live up to the fantasy....but that is always the case. The is why fantasy is always better than reality. And that is why I keep mine where they the fantasy file.

Lets see:

Fantasy #1...butt sex. The reality....she said it goes up my bootie next :x

Fantasy #2...Chatolic skool girl.....The reality divorced and having butt sex in prison....and always on the catching end.

Fantasy#3...Multipal women....reality the wife unit doesnt swing that way and that is all I need is another women bitching at me about sleeping in the wet spot.

But all in all the wife unit is up for all kinds of games and fantasy play. Just as long as it does not envolve the Hersey Highway or other women......and definatley NO OTHER MEN.

Here is my HNT for the day, there isnt any skin showing but it sure has some people wondering what is going on with my cyclopse:






(doug look away now)




(I warned u)





And one from the side: Look away, its scary!

Wednesday, June 13, 2007

Feeling like Danger Mouse....

I was feeling a little adventurous yesterday so I went over to the local A&P food store and bought me some sushi. The Shoprite store have the little asian guys making infront of you but I did not feel like driving the whole 3 blocks to Shoprite. I walked over to A&P, better for the cardio anyway.

I bought one that had a large variety of dead fishie things.

And as usual it they did not give me a fork, but these two wooden sticks. I guess it was to make sure that the fish was dead before eating it.
And it always comes with this great tasting mint paste. But it never taste like mint and cleans out my sinuses everytime I eat it.

It almost looks like Nemo's friends during nap time at their local skool.

I am getting hurgy looking at this!

I like see-food, how about you?

But I am now off to finish some skool work and to see what I am going to turn to pooh today. I did not bring anything and I am trying really hard not to spend any money. But I really dont know how much longer I can stnad it.

Tuesday, June 12, 2007

Kean University Carnival 2007

We went to the human petting zoo this past Sunday, or better yet we went to a local carnival located in the parking lot of Kean College. Carny folks are always the cream of the crop but always seem to come from the sallow end of the gene pool where all the litttle kids go to pee. But they are all good hard working people that give us much entertainment and give kids thrills like no other. In the eyes of a child a local carnival is just as great as Six Flags haha.

While out and about I took some photos of the what went on at the fair.

Here we have some great carny art, it was the scene painted on the side of the fun house. Mr. NoNo's was too short for most of the rides. But the ones he was tall enough for, he could not get enough of!

Just a wide shot of the animals attending the fun.

Carny rides have that special element that big parks do not have, the element of suprise. Like, suprise it did not fall apart while you were on it!

Here we have BrotherInLaw, TheOlderOne and Mr.NoNo's in front of the fun house. TheOlderOne's mother put something in his hair when they went on their cruise and it turned his hair orange. I dont ask, he likes it.

This had to be the funniest ride to watch. It shoot up in the air then dropped you, no biggie. But the people faces when they got off where hilarious. Best 4 bucks that did not end with a BJ.

Now when I said lets not be to hard on them because you know they put in long hours, do not have regular access to normal fauclities, eat carny food (which I will get to in a second) and provide a service for our childrens benefit; this is one of the many examples of what I was taking about. This guy has probably be running this ride non stop for two days and he even let it run a little longer if they screamed. The louer the screaming the longer he would run it. Which was cool when you got on, not so cool when you were waiting. But in the end it was all cool.

Mr.NoNo's loved this little kiddie fun house. I probably should have just bought him an all day pass just for this stupid thing. He would have spent all day here lol.

Another example of a local, for some reason the flash went off and it came out crappy. I was not about to try again, she did not notice I was taking a pic of her. But if she did she might have gone all ghetto on me....and yes she was ghetto fab, so was the baby and the baby fauthur.

Here is what I was talking about when I said their diet was full of 'carny food'. This little stand had Fired Oreo's, Fried Twinkies, Fried Snickers and Fried Dough (Funnel Cake). This is a diet that would make anyone greasey and fat. But by god it taste good!......The funnel cake, I did not have the balls to try any of the other stuff. It just looked scary!

And what carny does not have CORNDOGS!?!

Grease up ya potato sack we are in a down hill race off the super slide.

The carny even hired the local sherriffs department to keep watch. It was half ghetto rats and half trailer trash. You never know, they did not sell beer but I am sure this was a BYOB kind of event.
And as with most guys I find women in uniforms hot but this little humpty dumpty really did not do much of anything for me. She walked like a dude, spoke like a dude , scrathched like a dude and probably screws like a dude. Not very attractive.

All in all the kids had a blast and the human element kept me and the wife unit laughing all the way home. We did see some man-gina but I could not get a pic.....sorry. If you love to people watch I would advise you to take a run over to any local carny or town fair. Happy hunting.

Monday, June 11, 2007

Going to the car wash....

On Friday my boss gave me the job of getting the company car washed. Now normally this would not seem like a big ordeal. But when you have a light bar on top of your car you will find that some of them will not let you go through.
This was the case with the local one that is about 3 blocks from us. The gripe is a legitamate one but come on, I was willing to sign a waver saying I wont sue if something happened. But the little brown man would not budge. I had to drive across town to another car wash that was more concerned with getting my 8 bucks than my light bar on the car.
I always feel like a kid when I go through these things. I love taking off my seat belt during the ride and jumping all over the car. I sure hope they do not have any cameras in those things. Hmmmmm maybe next time I will take the wife unit in her minivan and get freaky while the car is getting a wash. Sex in publick, in your car and while in motion is probably agaist some law in this state haha.

This light said something about hot wax or something......ohhhh BUBBLES!

wissh wissh wisssh go the brushes haha

Ahhhhhhhh duck! In Cumming!

I sooo wanted to roll down my window and let these things slap the shit out of me

Is this what it would look like if a male porn star would do a drive by on your car?

I dont think I asked for the mayo window wash.

I tipped the guys 2 more bucks for drying it off which brought the total to 10 smackers. I would do a little before and after to show how much better it looks now but I think the boss man might look down apon that. So let me just say it looks much better. Even the wheels look cleaner.

I have some pics from the weekend but I have to go to school and see if my week 7 grades have been posted yet. I will be back later today or maybe even tommorow to show year 3 of our fold-away pool and carnival freaks. We went to a local fair, and lets just say the people at these things are usually the people from the shallower in of the gene pool.


Friday, June 01, 2007

Wildwood Vacation

It has taken me this long to get to uploading some of my pictures from our little get away. I could not have asked for a better time. Weather was great, hotel was great, and the rest was much needed. Since I have so many damn pics I will keep the words few and let the pictures paint the scenery.

The trip started of with a bang...the Sirius radio was not working, not even wrapping the antena around my huge head helped.

I would love to kiss the person that invented the portable DVD player. Willy Wonka kept the demons at bay.

Welcome to one of the NJ nuclear plants. No wonder NJ smells funny.....

Here we have Cheese at the park by the beach. The wife unit went out with a friend and Mr.NoNo's so I took Cheese to the park. He loves the outdoor.

It was nice and warm but the water was fukkin cold!

We stayed at the Bel Harbor Hotel, fourth floor.

This was a near by hotel that was called 'Sand Castle' but it was missing the C. It just seemed funny at the time......Sand Astle....say it really fast with 2 shots of rum in yah and you will laugh too.

Me and Cheese pool side. This kid loves the water!

Fourth floor pool shot

Mr NoNo's and his swimmy. I hope to get him some swimming lessons so he can get out of that thing. I am not one to teach swimming, I only learned about 5 years ago lol

Here we have the whole family unit at the boardwalk. They were having some kind of kite show. I dont know but kites are still pretty boring.

But this one caused all kinds of talk at the park. I took Mr. NoNo's to the same park I took Cheese to earlier and there was this Shrek kite stuck on this light post. All the little kids were laying claim to this thing. They were even arguing about who it belonged to. But there is no rationalizing with a 4 year old about ownership.

Mr. NoNo's loves going up the wrong end of the slide.

Random white chic at the beach. Future lobster legs victim.

There was this grab machine thingie that my wife would not leave alone. She wanted one of those damn purses. They are apparently so kinda of exspensive purse, so she was giving it her all to get one. I tried and won, but it was one of the smaller ones. So they gave us the option of taking the little purse or a $50 American Express gift card. We took the gift card, the little purse was too little.

Mr.NoNo's was buisy with this kid on the Dance Revolution game I was buisy looking at thongs.......Not even at the movies yet and they were already picking their seats.

Random tiny wave pic. Not big enough to surf on in my book but there were people out there trying their hardest to prove me wrong. But to no avail, I did not see one good run.

Wife on da beach.........'What part of Jamacia are you from?' 'The part next to da beach.' Now what movie is that from?

" Watch the tram car please, Watch the tram car please, Watch the tram car please, Watch the tram car please!" I can still hear it in my dreams!

I am off to clean up the mess I came back to at work. I have been trying to clean this up since Wednesday. But my lack of motivation and all this warm weather has me day dreaming of more beach time. Why cannt adults get the summer off too?