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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Monday, May 30, 2005


Its a holiday and I am here at work doing much of nothing. When you are a security guard one learns all kinda things to entertain yourself with. And thank goodness for my new found toys : Blogging and Flickr. I can keep myself busy for hours now and still look like I am hard at work. No more hiding the "adult" magazines and gameboy as the boss goes by. You always look like you are doing something important when you are typing a mile a minute with that serious look on your face. I always have my game face on when I blog from work, keeps nosy people away from me. I sit at desk where all my co-workers walk by and see me. I don't want them to see me, their boss, smiling at his puter like an idiot. I am supposed to set the example for them, not still acting like a low level grab ass guard. ( Which by the way I still am,mentally)And yes all flashlight cops are goof offs and slackers. I am the king of all slackers but a little bit of luck and a whole lot of waiting got me to my current spot. I now supervise a team of people at one of the many sites my company has contracts with. Good things come to those who wait, its true. I am such a boob and hate real work more than anyone. A job like this is perfect for me, I can put off everything till later, delegate task and march to my own tune. I still have to wear a polyester monkey suite but hell we all have to make sacrifices sometimes. And its days like this I look forward to, all alone on the holiday with all the time to slack off and be as lackadaisical as possible.
The only other job in the world that could compare to this is maybe a tattoo artist. There is a job I think I would love to have, if I had even a drop of artistic blood in me hehehe. I have two tattoos with more to come soon. It is a strange addiction, once you get one you want more. Only thing holding me back is the money, they are not cheap and most don't do credit. Its a cash business, just like the good old days of cold hard currency. These people must make a killing in just one day of inking. Maybe I will try it and see if I can start my own ......and maybe I will join the circus. Hell, I like clowns and love making people laugh. And while I am at it I will start brewing my own beer and sell it...I lovee Got to keep your options open, you never know.
I wonder if I can make a career of being a slacker. I am well on my way, lets keep it rollin. Next time someone asks me what I do I am going to say I am a professional lounge lizard. So many people are all about what they have become and they have done with their lives. Its always fun to mess with them, with being happy with the fact I have not amounted to much. They are unhappily married to their possessions and jobs, existing any other way is beyond them. They work so hard at looking happy with what they own and what they are, they have lost the ability to actually be content with nothing. Ever been to a class reunion? That is what you are going to be confronted with. Lots of questions on what you did with your life and peering eyes of discontent. And a whole lot of " Oh, really, how ....Interesting." Its rather comical if you can step back and look at it with different eyes. These people were the cool people back in the day and they do not want to let go of that. I was not one of them as anyone can guess and I get great satisfaction in bring them down. When they try and show off their stuff try not to notice it. Like the old trick of wearing your watch loose so you have to shake it from time to time. Its usually a ploy to get you to look at their Rolex or Mavado. The hand gestures that draw your eyes to the diamon that could be mistaken for a small star. Don't mention it or even let them see you looking at it. It will irate them to no end.
I love messing with people, but enough of my ranting. I am bored at work and babbling like a drunken fool with a PC. Hope someone is having fun today, have a beer and burger for the unseen heroes that work on the holidays. All the waiters,waitresses, cashiers, security guards, and bartenders that keep the holidays semi normal. Its just another day that ends in Y people. Nothing more.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

This was a good summer opening weekend. It was not too cold, just a little wet. We had no real memorial day weekend plans so we stayed home and barbq'ed and opened the first watermellon of the season.

Had a few beers as well. This is what happens when someone puts a beer in the freezer and forgets to take it out.LOL. I will always have that plesant aroma of Corona in the ice box now. The wife wont like it hehehehehehe.

I would recomend Sparks to those of you that like to keep awake through out the night of drinkin. Has a very strange taste , not bad but not all that good either. Some man mag like Stuff said it was like doing an 8ball with out the illegal stuff. I do not agree with that but its still worth the 2 bucks for a buzz lol.

Thursday, May 26, 2005

This was the beging of the end for my wintery friend I made this past winter. He found my green apple vodka candy drinks.

He started on his way not aware that his actions for this day would go down in history.

Frosty was doing his usual and getting ready for the up coming season of cheer and beer.


At the scene it was not a pretty sight. There were snow and charcol eyes everywhere. We shall visit the spot and place candles and snow cones to remeber the day that Frosty got run over by Fritz the Blitzed cousin of Forsty.
It might be summer and pool time but its still cold as funk all. Put on the hoodie to fight of the summer cold. This up comming weekend does not look to promising.

Brave man in the friggid wate hehehehe. Does anyone else think tits a bit nippley out here too?

Finished.....3 hours . Now all I have to do is go and get all the freakin chemicals need to keep it from tuning into a breeding ground for bacteria and alge. A pool boy's work is never done.

I love these trippy photos. This one looks like they are all moving but guess what? They arent, I would advise u to only look at it sober. Consider yourself warned.

Old people love or young mexican lovers u tell me.

I spent some time trying to figure out this mobius strip .

Very Escher-ish .

Tuesday, May 24, 2005


Originally uploaded by Phils Room.
I was at Target the other day ( suprise suprise ) and took a look to see how the ol' ticker was doin. From what I got here all seems good to go. But that arm cuff was really tight and left a red line on my arm. I wonder if it would work if you put some other appendages in there? hmmmmm makes one mind wander into the land of dirty thoughts lol. Imagaine if it got caught and they had to call the fire dept to get you out, too funny too funny!

Monday, May 23, 2005


Originally uploaded by Phils Room.
I was walking through my usual store parking lot ( Target ) and saw this bumper sticker on wheels. I could not get shots of the sides of the car but believe us it did not stop here. It was like the car had some kinda werid dease that caused the car to break out in stupid stickers in random places. The only semi-theme on the car was that he/she was a jesus freak. Why whould someone do this to a car? I know it is a F.O.R.D.( Found on road dead) but it is still a car. One should never show how mentally unstable they are by placing thier ideas, views, or thoughts on the car ( e.i.---NRA Member since 1976). I have strong views on many topics but I would never put them in plain view. We might have freedom of speech but exercising it can be rather detrimental to your health and your cars apperance. How manly Klan members show it on thier cars? I would die laughing if I ever saw one and then get as far away from them as possible. I am white but large gatherings of white people make me nervous and then add those pointed hats..... well I am sure most of us know of those backwards people we speak of. Sssshhhh dont tell them, but the south did lose and this coming from a southern boy to boot lol.
You can find comedy whereever you look. I just like to show what I find funny for all to see.


Originally uploaded by Phils Room.
I have read this article soo many times now, I feel I know Dr. Gonzo. But from what I have read nobody really knew him or could have ever known what he was about. He lived on the outer edge of reality and it showed in his writting and in his life style. Dr. Gonzo saw things the way a magician saw things. Change ones way of seeing things and one could change the reality of the situation all thoghter. Hunter S. Thompson was one of the greatest thinkers of our time but was never give the reconigtion he diserved. A giant among mental midgets that used unconventional ways of thinking and working to see past the end of everyones nose. When one reads his writtings one can only nod thier heads in complet agreement or shake them in absolute disbelieve and horror. You either loved him or hated him. Of all the people of celeberty standing he was the only person I wanted to meet. He was a hero to the freaks and the misunderstood childeren of a discombobulated generation. He will be missed and a big thank you goes out to Johnny Deep and Bill Murphy for bringing Dr. Gonzo to life to the disjointed unwashed masses.

When Olive Garden attacks!

Originally uploaded by Phils Room.
The wife and myself went to the Olive Garden this weekend to eat lunch. But little did we know that the waiter was going to pull out a shank on us.Well, actually it was an accident with a wine glass. He had seated us and was reaching for the wine glasses ( wine is for sissies) and knocked it over. It shattered and gave the wife a small cut on her middle finger. Nothing life threathing and most likely wont even leave a scar. We did not make a big deal over and did not press charges but we did get 20% off the bill. I probably could have gotten alot more out of it but I am not one to make a small mistake into a nightmare for our young waiter. Besides I dont want any extra "sauce" in my food lol.

Friday, May 20, 2005



It is soo refreshing to see a car that means buisness now and again. Death to all ricers! Hail to all American muscle. LOL

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Somebody stop me.....

Is it a bad thing to have devious thoughts? Or does it make me a bad person to find amusement in others pain? This thought struck me a few minutes ago when I was at the vending machines at work. I was watching some guy getting his sugary happiness from the dispensers of love handles and I had a STRONG urge to just kick him as hard as I could right in his ass. I actually started laughing out load just from the mental images of this. Needless to say I did not do it but boy did I ever want to. Now, I have nothing agaist this fellow. Hell I don't even know his name or where he works, he was just in a perfect position for a random act of violence. This would have caused him a great deal of pain and knowing how hard I can kick and the angle he was at he probably would have gone to the ER. Even with all this I was still cracking up, I have to leave and compose myself before people started to notice the crazy man in the corner. I thought to myself , " Is this normal to get such enjoyment from this?" And after a whole minute of contemplating this, the whole time watching my frozen pizza cook in the microwave, I came to a couple of conclutions. One : For me, yes it is normal in my book. Two : A thought can not hurt as long as it never carries over to action. When a man thinks those manly thoughts about a passing woman does that constitute fondeliage? Well if you are Michael Jackson I'd say a most definitely no, that man has no manly thoughts about women as it is. Luckily for everyman out there the "thought police" can only be found in 1984. So much that was once sci-fi is slowly becoming day to day, I personally hope that one stays in the fiction section.

That is only a peak into the depraved mind of a sick prackster. I have a million of these at any given time. I am thankful for my ability to restrain myself. But what if I lost that and was able to live life like a celebrity? To do whatever, to whom whenever, and whenever I wanted to. I would be in those rag mags every week for something I did. The only person who did anything like this was the late great Andy Kauffman. If he could think it he did it, now that is true freedom. But yet that is not a word usually used when referring to celeberties.Brad Pitt could never just walk to a normal store with out being molested. I would miss that kinda freedom, but I would love the freedom to be on the right side of the shovel for once. I would walk around in a pickle sling in combat boots kicking random people in the ass and crotches. Giggling all the way down the street, I would probably owe a lot of people money for damages but it would have been worth it.

Next time you have a nasty thought go ahead and do it, fun will be had by all that matter. You and you alone. It is up to everyone to do their part in spread the "Random Acts of Violence". RAV, its your duty as a human to make everyone feel worse than you do . They need a little excitement and we shall dish it out to the!



I was in the bathroom at the shopright in Clark NJ and saw this calming photo. It just made to going sooo much better. Kudos to the person who picked this decor for the deposit center of the store.



This is a pic of my first tat. It will sone have company, I am in the process of getting a sleve made up. I hope to be covered in them by the time I pass on. Into the grave with more ink than skin hehehehehehe. I have another on on my left wrist, an egyptian eye of Rha. That one hurt like hell and even bled alot more than my lizard did.

bad religon

bad religon

All should join the Bad religon movement. Good music and good times. And oddly enuff these guys have college funny!


I cannt remeber the last weekday that I got more than 5 hours of sleep. I am a night person, and have a hard time going to sleep. Exspecally now that I have cable TV and all the good movies come on around 10. I really need to unplug from the information age and get back in gear with the human world. Go outside and blow up my TV and the pc. No I could never harm my machine of synthetic happiness. Its a window to a world to other peoples lives, probably why I like reading blogs. I get to see how much better off I am than the rest of the world. And see why I need to find some friends in the real world. I have one friend,my wife, and I truely cherrish what we have. But I dont have any "guy" friends or any couples that we both get along with. We have yet to meet people that we fit in with. We have tried a few of our coworkers but it never seems to turn into anything but a once a blue moon gathering. Its always " we got to do this again" but never the reality of the commentment.
The worse couples night was a church meeting with the ex wife and her man. Just a little back ground, the Ex believes my current wife is the reason for our break up. The Ex "found" god, didnt know he was lost, and took it apon herself to be the bigger person and make amends. Those who have a rightous complex seem to be soooo fuked up that they can never make out fact from fiction. One fact : the Ex is the reason she is the Ex. I was unhappy with her, my life and the person that I had become. My current wife just came into my life during the momment I was already checked out from the Ex. Its comical to me now to she her and continuing her usual way on someone else's life. I wish her all the luck but I do not see her new victim lasting, I could be wrong maybe fighting all the time is their way of showing love.
Back to the church couples night: It was a Christmass thing and we found ourself surrounded by a small group of some of the corniest ppl I have seen since high school. They had us get in 12 groups and do 12 days of xmass, with us addidng our own lines. WHHHHOOOOOO talk about a wild time, ever a bong could not make this funny. And everything is funnier....on weeeeeed! I am always reminded why I strayed from religon and became part of the Bad Religon movement. If you have no idea what I am talking about check out
These people had me almost in tears with the thickness of the corn. Only saving grace was the free food, and that was the only reason I think I stayed. If they had beer I might have been more in the spirtit, booze can make the most egnostic person religous lol. It was awful and even the memories pain me, my Ex and me really have very little in common. No I am wrong, we have one thing in common; our son. He is the only reason we still communicate for any reason. The silver lining here is that he is 9, which means 9 more years and then its byebye baby momma problems. So there is always hope and a reason to smile no matter what the problem is.

Tuesday, May 17, 2005

Double shift

I am working a double shift today and starting to feel the pull of the 13 hour on the clock. I am not sure if I have ever mentioned it but here at my money maker I am the boss( one of many). I work in the security field, you know; flash light cops, radio warriors, and plastic brass. It pays the bills, rather nicely too so dont knock it lol. I am on call 24/7 for all problem with the site that I manage.
It is not a bad jig but from time to time I have to do things that I really hate doing. The number one thing that falls in this catergory is : Telling people what NOT to do while on post! I should not have to tell people that they have to come to work in uniform and stay in uniform until thier shift is over. Hell, why do I have to treat poeple that are twice my age like they are freakin 6 and they wont stay out of the damn mud in the backyard? I have been at this site for almost 6 years and started off as a low level bottom feeder. I know what its like to do all shifts and postions. ( a little giggle to myself, I love all positions :-D) I know all the tricks and all the good hidding spots. I do not ask anything of these people I would not do myself or have not done in the past. Some people even have said its becuse of the money the company offers. This has got to be better than working at fast food joint or some slave driven soul crushing department store..**walmart..cough,cough** And the money is definatley better by far here. Everytime I have to become that asshole boss ,we all see on those shows, I have to hang my head afterwards. Because it is soo stoopid, common sense should dictate that if you know the boss is coming in have your uniform on . Do the paper work and have the office in order.
Dont get me wrong we have a few that I sing thier praises. The few that can see outside the box and have a bit of fore-sight. One that I call a drama queen, which drives me insane. The employee that always seems to have some kinda drama that causes her work to suffer. Doctor visits, uniform mis-haps, every reason in the world to leave early and come in late. Not a bad worker but everytime its something new followed with a story. But out of 13 people I have working for me I have 6 that I can really rely on, 4 that I can trust not to be too retarded, and 3 that I worry about them keeping thier jobs for too long.Its sad and I feel bad when I have to be the messenger of the hammer. But time and time again there is nothing that I can do to help them. Counsiling them, suspending them, nor did numerous off the record warnings seemed to help. Some people are just set on self distruction, if you are not able( or willing) to help yourself how do you exspect anyone else to help you?
But enough of my bitching but maybe people can once see things from different eyes. I am all for promoting from with in and not get people from the outside of a company. I have always hated bosses that come in from outside and think that a degree is better than exsperience. I am sorry, schooling does not prove anyhing other than you can pass a test on pointless information that relates to nothing in real time. We all have a BA in BS, and I got a Masters in Bation.


I am rather pissed over what has happened to me at Some how my flickr account closed on me and I cannot retrieve any of the pics that were on it. is running fine but I am unable to access it from m work pc , due to our server. My job has all kinds of filters and blocks on certain web sites and downloads. The only one I can use is flickr and they seemed to have erased my blog posts. I just spent the last ten minutes erasing all the post that I put up using flickr.
Man am I pissed, but what can one do? It isnt like I was paying for it hehehehe. Free accounts are up for radom acts of nastiness. I have another one that I just set up, lets see how long until this one gets shut down. I am going to go through all of their fine print to see why it happened and see if I can prevent it from going down again. Flickr is a cool site and I would hate to have to put them on my shit list. Well here is for a bit of hope and alot of luck.



Trip 2 to the DMV


I have been away for a few days due to work , family and the usual has had me running a bit off. I am at work right now pretending to work. I am an expert at this hehehehe.
But some good news, I got my car back from the ghetto garage. It had a bad computer and it would not run. This place I took it to fixed it and did not take me for a ride like the others I have used in the past. And yes I called them " the ghetto garage", they are located in an area where a lone white boy should never walk; day or night. IF you see one he is either an addict or a dealer LOL. I have always used well known places for my car work but they all seem to like to rob people blind. This is a family run place and the guy is not out to lie, cheat and steal from his costumers. I will be going back to him again, and as a matter of fact I did. The day after I got my car back I took my moms car to get her brakes done. And again I was very happy with the work and the price. Now I can get my moms car re-inspected at the lovely DMV of NJ. With my luck it will probably fail for something completely different this time.

Friday, May 13, 2005


My job sent me to a CPR class yesterday and we all had loads of fun with "Little-Oral-Anne". I always thought that was its name, to funny. Its just " Little Anne" no oral in her name, boy was I off lol. It was set for 6 hours but our trainer was late because of a water main break on exit 145 on the parkway. We got everything covered in just 4 hours flat. It helped that I have done this numerous times before and the people in my group were not retards. I can now shock anyone and give the old mouth to ass rescue breathing. Oh wait, it's mouth to elbow,,,mouth to crotch....hmmmmm that one seems like a good start. If I put my balls in your mouth and you dont open your eyes, you are either in need of CPR or you are just another really drunk college girl. Either way fun will be had by all, or should I say both (balls).
The videos that he showed us were to funny. All the bad acting one can stand for one day. Kinda like watching Woody Allen movies off and on for 4 hours. But at least these videos had a story line that made sense and one did not get the urge to stab your eyes out. I would have loved to see the casting for these bit parts. "Now you are hurt on the job......fall down and play dead.....good good....and thats a take"
Got to love it. The test at the end was a joke, I could have passed it without even going through all of that. Makes one concerned about all those "Trained" people out there who want to help u with CPR. They might put those pads on your nads and forehead, what a jolt that would be lol.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005


The wife, baby, and myself went home improvement shoppin yesterday at the Homedepo. The wife was goin crazy with the flowers and gardening stuff, all I wanted to do was look at chain-saws. Boy, I feel manly now.....vrooooom vroommm. They had gas and electric powered ones, but what man would ever stoop down to electric ? More power....grunt chest...and scratch balls.....Me wants big machine....Tim Allen is my God....!
Hehehehehe, got to love those toys. We all want them, in our tool shop in perfect condition and untouched. lol. I have no idea how to use most of the tools there but they would look soooo nice all lined up in a tool room. Real men that use them never have them clean or in any shape to show off. That because a used tool gets pretty funky realllll fast . lol. I would have the cleanest tool room and Rolodex full of contractors numbers and band-aides. For those of u that watch the Do-it-yourself network u all know what I am talking about . It is nothing to be shamed about, those ppl that fix our mistakes put their kids through skool. In away we are providing for ppl and kids we will never meet lol.


I had to make a visit to the good old Jersey DMV yesterday(Rahway). I was there to inspect my moms 95 Berreta that just , on that day, had its 100,000 mile birthday. I fixed the side view mirror so it would would not fail for that but........It failed for "emergency brake will not hold car". Never had that one before but its all good.
I was in line for about 5 minutes, hell the test its self took longer than the wait in line. No appointment needed and what a lovely view of the prison to pass the time.

Monday, May 09, 2005


The radio station ,Q104.3, was giving out free food and drink at the PNC art center on Sat. as I notede before. They did have the best bagles and a larger varity of drinks. The price was ohh so right(FREE) but the can of Nitro 2 Go was all hype. It was some kinda energy drink that had all kinds of "high-energy" claims. I downed 2 cans and felt nothing , maybe the urge to pee but nothing on the lines of high energy. It was twice the size of a red bull but no kick what so ever. My fav energy drink to this day has to be this stuff called Redline, that gets u going and going. Red bull is still the one I buy the most, just because redline is still kinda hard to find. Nitro would be a waist of money so dont buy it for an enegry boost, I get more of a boost from 2 cans of Mountain Dew than from Nitro.

Why PNC Sucks

I luckily found out that Ozzfest tickets were going on sale Saturday and head down really early. In all the excitement I never thought to check what weird protocol they might be trying this year to fuck with the everyday fan and benefit the scalper.

The one and only way tickets should be sold is first come first serve. Non of this wrist band buttshit, and especially the wrist band lotto. PNC did that one year, which in some strange turn of events worked out to my benefit. I did my usual and got there early, watched the antics of the tail gaiters and froze my ass in line. They handed out bracelets to everyone sober enough to stand in line then made the announcement. Each bracelet had a number on it, and they were going to start the bracelet lottery soon. The way it worked was they would call sets of numbers and if you were in that set you got to get in line for your tickets. That sucked if you had been waiting all night and got a crappy number but was cool If you got there late and got a good one. That year it worked out for me, I got to go in the second set of people called. I got front row center seats. It was such a joy to watch all the scalper crying and bitching but it was sad to see the all nighters get the fuzzy end of the lolly pop. But in all fairness it should work in this fashion : Box office opens at 9 in the morning and the crazy ppl that waited allll night and half the morning should get first dibs. But it does not work out this way any more.

This year I got there 2 hours before the box office opened. I had a bad feeling about what new things they had in store for me. When I got there it was nice to see 3 radio stations were giving out free food and stickers. Only down side of them being at the same place at the same time was that they were trying to drown each other out with crap top 40 radio. My sunny disposition was soon killed on this over cast chilly day by the news that everyone needed a wrist band to get first dibs. They were sold on Friday at the box office. There were 2 lines, one for the scalpers who knew and the fans who had no idea. The wrist band ppl got to go first then us, I saw a group of about 13 or so people that did not fit into any of the music scenes. They all walked away from the box office with large stacks of tickets in hand. Its big business and again the little guy gets fucked. Scalping is legal I guess and the sign " no cell phones at the window" does not apply to them. I stood in line for about 3 hours for so so tickets and the whole time watching ppl walk away with handfuls of tickets. I would bet that they were all going to end up on eBay. But thank you PNC for a lesson well learned in the ways of what is fair in warfare. Each year they try some new way to annoy the everyday man into a frenzy of frustration and hate. One can easily see where rioting starts. The little guy trying to get just a little fun and is confronted with the same bureaucratic fecal fling. Blue collar America can never seem to catch a break and boy are they pissed about it.

Wednesday, May 04, 2005


I just wanted to drop one more note for today......I saw something on the way home that shocked the sheet out of me. I have seen women putting on make-up and driving; putting on make-up, smoking and driving; putting on make-up, talking on the phone and driving; but today was the first time I saw a clown putting on his make-up and driving. I wish I had a camera on my car so that I could have shared the shock of this wonderous act. He can juggle, spit fire, do cart-wheels and defy death---by put on grease paint in the vanity mirror of his car while in motion and .....drum roll please.........steering it with his elbows! Imagine that ticket, would he have to come to court in full make-up? Food for thought ppl.


I did something not sooo smart last night. I was working out and decided to hit my punching bag for a few. I was doing alright until the last few bitch slaps were dealt. I sprained my writs on the last swing, and bad. I cannt make a fist and getting dressed this morning was quiet a chore. Even typing this is a pain. It is not the first time I have done this but this time its pretty bad. I have done this skating on countless number of times, I like skating but that does not mean I am any good at it lol. I have given up the street skating and jumping gaps. It was fun and still enjoy watching thigs like the X-Games. But I am almost 30 and would like to be able to continue skating with my kids and maybe introduce them to the aggressive side of the sport .
I thought of going to the doctor but I know what they are going to tell me. They will give me a brace( in some gay hospital tan color) and send me on my way. Mind you the doctor will cost me 50 smackers and the one I bought at Rite-Aide was only 20. But maybe I could have gotten some good happy pills from doctor feel good heheheheehe. I really do not need anything stronger than this stuff i got at my office first aide kit but recreational pill popping can be fun at times. Can be better than beer and they dont put on the beer gut lol.
And if you have ever hurt your wrist or arm you know the pain of doing simple task. But lucky for me I can use my left hand for almost everything the right one can do..... ;-D. Switch hitter lol.
I will not let this stop my journey to my beach body, just have to adjust it a bit. Hit the treadmill more until I can get my kung-fo grip back. And yes I got me some strong grip, chickens fear me and mayo jars respect ma authoratie!

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Its May Turd

Its May turd, and if u are wondering why I call it that it is because it helps me to remember a veryyy important day: The wives birthday. There are few things that can start a war in my house and forgetting a special day is one of them. I vaguely remember my own children's birthdays, I am pretty sure I know my moms, my brothers is only a few days different than my own, I sorta remember the ex wives because it is in the same week as my moms and I know my wedding anniversary because it is in the last month of the year.{ BUT I WILL NEVER FORGET MAY 3RD!}
I have a really bad memory and it can be rather annoying but hell, what can one do. I tried that gingko galoba stuff but I kept forgetting to take it, mind games but always forgot how they went and even tried carrying a note pad but it kept getting washed in the cleaning because I would forget to take it out. It is a problem I have had all my life, and no the pharmaceuticals I have taken throughout the years did not cause it LOL. Nor did they help it but what fun trips we have had hehhhehheehe.
It is her birthday and I wanted to go to this really kewl Japanese steak house but the baby has come down with something and had to go to the doctor. It is all good anyway, we have both agree not to give each other gifts for our Bdays. Instead we will use the money towards the cruise we want to go on in November. We have been on only one cruise, on our honeymoon and we have been dyeing to go on another.
For those of you that have been on one you know that feeling. For those of you who have never been on one, go now! It has got to be one of the lest stressful vacations I have ever been on. No worries, no problems, no real hassle. It has something for everyone and that is only on the boat itself. We went to the Bahamas last time and , God willing, this time we hope to go again. Just this time we might actually go to some of the real tourist sights. Last time we rented a car on each island we went to and drove about. Found ourselves in areas people never see when they show these islands in moves or travel videos. Ever wonder why there is a wall around the resort? The locals are not as friendly as you would think and they have a definite problem with spousal abuse out there. Everywhere we went we saw this huge billboards that read , " There is no excuse for spousal abuse." I have a picture of it somewhere but I will have to scan it and post it later. That was not in the brochure damn it! But besides that we had fun and want to go again. Cheap jewelry and cheap cigars, sweettttt! Oh yeah for those of you newbies, do not let the local women braid your hair!!! They do it soooo tight that you will get headaches and when you take it out your hair will fall out in clumps. Just say no, if you want to help the locals buy their homemade jewelry and home grown cannabis. ;-) Support your local pot planter and buy a bone.( just kidding drugs are bad! ;-D) And yes people will ask u to buy some stuff, I don't know the laws there and do not want to end up in some foreign prison, I saw Midnight express and I do not want to have prison sex. Even if it is in a vacation resort in paradise LOL.
Here is to our future vacation and a much needed time off. I will sacrifice a Bday present for a vacation, hell I would give up all gift for all holidays if it meant a 2 week vacation away from work. Its the only reason I get and go to work, vacationnnnnnn.

Monday, May 02, 2005

I am sorry.....

I would like to take this moment to apologize for that last post. As anyone can see I made the mistake of trying to blog with some heavy beer goggles on. That night was one for the record books. I drank 5 beers, one Sparkle, and about 4 or 5 shots of watermelon vodka. It didn't end badly but the wife was pretty pissed I got "that" drunk. I did do a few things that I do not remember, which is odd for me. I do remember running outside and playing in the pool, which was not ready for swimming and freakin freezing. And not to mention it was raining, talk about a muddy mess. Lucky for me it was dark and none of the neighbors saw me LOL. My wife said she found me in the den babbling nonsense and even gave me a few good wacks in the head to get me back on track. She said that all I said was, " hit me again" and " u hit me why did u hit me."
It was a rather strange night for me and to make it worse I somehow got online and started typing in my blog. I am shocked I ramparts my password and was able to post at all.
Here is a lesson to me and blogging LOL. But I do need to dry out a bit, just because it has become almost an every weekend thing. I don't want to end up doing this too much and making it a habit. Summers coming up soon and need to get rid of this belly, beer does not help it in any way. Got to get ready to go shirtless at the beach and 6 flags. Nothing is more unattractive than an over weight white Jersey dude with his shirt off walking around rubbing his hairy stomach...ewwwwww. Cannot control the aging thing but u can control how the bathroom scale reads and how u look in the store window reflections.
But anywho sorry again for the ramblings and here is to an up coming moments of sobriety. Come sing with me....."Beer is good for you, Beer is good for you , Beer is good for you......" Come on, I know u know the words.....LOL.