Somebody stop me.....

Is it a bad thing to have devious thoughts? Or does it make me a bad person to find amusement in others pain? This thought struck me a few minutes ago when I was at the vending machines at work. I was watching some guy getting his sugary happiness from the dispensers of love handles and I had a STRONG urge to just kick him as hard as I could right in his ass. I actually started laughing out load just from the mental images of this. Needless to say I did not do it but boy did I ever want to. Now, I have nothing agaist this fellow. Hell I don't even know his name or where he works, he was just in a perfect position for a random act of violence. This would have caused him a great deal of pain and knowing how hard I can kick and the angle he was at he probably would have gone to the ER. Even with all this I was still cracking up, I have to leave and compose myself before people started to notice the crazy man in the corner. I thought to myself , " Is this normal to get such enjoyment from this?" And after a whole minute of contemplating this, the whole time watching my frozen pizza cook in the microwave, I came to a couple of conclutions. One : For me, yes it is normal in my book. Two : A thought can not hurt as long as it never carries over to action. When a man thinks those manly thoughts about a passing woman does that constitute fondeliage? Well if you are Michael Jackson I'd say a most definitely no, that man has no manly thoughts about women as it is. Luckily for everyman out there the "thought police" can only be found in 1984. So much that was once sci-fi is slowly becoming day to day, I personally hope that one stays in the fiction section.

That is only a peak into the depraved mind of a sick prackster. I have a million of these at any given time. I am thankful for my ability to restrain myself. But what if I lost that and was able to live life like a celebrity? To do whatever, to whom whenever, and whenever I wanted to. I would be in those rag mags every week for something I did. The only person who did anything like this was the late great Andy Kauffman. If he could think it he did it, now that is true freedom. But yet that is not a word usually used when referring to celeberties.Brad Pitt could never just walk to a normal store with out being molested. I would miss that kinda freedom, but I would love the freedom to be on the right side of the shovel for once. I would walk around in a pickle sling in combat boots kicking random people in the ass and crotches. Giggling all the way down the street, I would probably owe a lot of people money for damages but it would have been worth it.

Next time you have a nasty thought go ahead and do it, fun will be had by all that matter. You and you alone. It is up to everyone to do their part in spread the "Random Acts of Violence". RAV, its your duty as a human to make everyone feel worse than you do . They need a little excitement and we shall dish it out to the!