- I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I hope to have everything back to normal in the next few days and have the pictures i took while I was in Virgina. But at least the stomach issue did not start until Monday ha ha.
Happy Wednesday, I am now off to the bathroom again :(
Friday, February 23, 2007
I will being heading out for a road trip to Virgina tonight to have some good clean navy fun with the bro-in-law. I will be going solo, the wife unit gave me permission to go out and play for the weekend. Which is very cool, I will bring pictures of them to keep me company. It is only for a few days but they are the very reason I breath so I cannt leave the to far behind me. I will have pics and a post up sometime next week. And depending on what goes down with a bunch of drunk navy seamen I might even have a few good HNT for the up cumming Thursday.
But I got to get to 'class' and 'hand' in my homework. Online skool is too cool hahahahaha. With out any more interuptions I give you:
1) OMFG! That is all I can say without my wife hitting me in the back of the head.
2) I cannt wait until summer! You know she has no hair down dar!!
3) You know her milk shake brings all the boys to her yard.
4) Two round mounds of happiness giving me a stiffy in my side pocket.
5) Hmmmmmm I wish I was a necklace. But with my luck I would end up on some post-op tranny.
6)ARRGHH Me be Blue Ball dah pirate, come hither so that I may plunder your bootie!
7) Summer time is cumming tit is I swear!
8) ummmmm Freak, but I bet she would love to show you her peircings on the downlow....
9) This is a nice pic, tasteful, sexual, beautiful and all woman here! I would love to see pics like this on HNT....hint hint hint.....Maybe once the wife unit loses all the weight she wants I can get her to pose for some tastefull erotic pics for me. But sorry to say if she does those wont be posted sorry :-P
Have a happy Friday Yal!
Thursday, February 22, 2007
Now, as I mentioned last week we had to go out and get a new bed for the little men in our lives. I took a few pics as we put this thing up. And I must say this was one of the easiest pieces of furntarure I have ever done......TO HELL WITH IKEA! Do not ever buy that fiber board shit! The directions are horrible and the material they use has to be the worst ever. Wood dust pressed with glue, fasteners made from low grade zinc and instructions that give you panic attacks just from looking at them.
1) Here we laid out the large boards first to see how to go from here.
2) The wife unit lending a hand.....well actually she usually puts all of our stuff together. I really suck at doing this type of stuff.
3) Made in the land of waxed cooters and the smallest bikini's known to man.
4) The only draw back to this was you needed a good bit of elbow greese to get some parts to work. Its all in the fore arms ppl!
5) To make things even easier for retards like me they put these little stickers on the planks that corresponded with the instructions. What a genius idea.....are you listening IKEA!?!
6) Another stroke of genius was they put all the little screws and dowels in their own little baggies and used a letter system to tell you what went where. IKEA would just give you a big bag with everything mixed up. Take notes IKEA, I know the Swiss air is thinner and all that pot makes you stupid but this is sooo simple even a stoner could do it.
7) Now since I am only good for lifting and looking sexy the thinking part was left to the wife unit.
8) Almost done.....
9) I forgot to take a picture of the finished project and with my mind all over the place these days all I have is a picture of the box and what it should look like. And yes it does look just like the box, I will have to post a real picture soon.
I am now off to go back to school while sitting at my office. I just thought of something, I can go to class drunk, naked, in bed and or while on vacation.......this is tooooo cool!
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
We had to go out and buy a new bed for the kids. The one bed we had was just falling apart, and I mean that literly. If you sat on it and moved to the left all the boards on the bottom would fall out and you would end up on you ass. We went to BJ's and bought a bunk bed, not a bad price and pretty easy to put toghter. I have some pics of it but that will have to wait until Wednesday's post, I am missing the finished product picture.
I also broke the seal on my sober fast. I went in early that morning to get my blood work done for my yearly physical so I good to go. I had been dry for 47 day, mainly because of this blood test. I wanted to get a good grade, and alcohol always brings down my gpa haha.
The bro-in-law came up from Vigina and we went out drinking. Our first stop was at a friends house were we had some cheap rum and cokes....2 drinks....then 2 shots of rummple mints--4 drinks. We then headed over to this shit dive and got rejected......for wearing work boots. And yes I was the one in these 'work boots' And if you know me you know how much 'work' these boots have seen lol. We did not bitch of make a stink we just took our money and love of alcohol to another shit dive that could care less about what we had on our feet. Mind you it was an 'Irish Pub' called the BlackThorn. There was no cover charge, the atmosphere was young and the booze was flowing! Dink 5 was a shot of vodka, drink 6 was a shot of tequila, drink 7 was Drambui and Sprite ( by the it was very nice but at 7$ each it wasnt a cheap drink) and drink 8 was a red bull and vodka. Well to say the least I was very tanked and was feeling good. I am on a diet ....ssshhhh so I did stay away from any and all food, I did not want to compound these empty calories with more shit.
It was me, NavyMan and the friend-Christian. I had no interest in trying to chat up anyone so I just sat back like a wall flower and drank and watched. I must say watching drunk ppl has to be the greatest spectator sport ever. Lets do a list of what I saw:
- The attention whore with a nice tramp stamp.
- The obviously gay man whos gay ways came more out in the open the more he drank.
- Old guy in the club that had all the girls
- Dude in the smoking tent throwing up and the bouncers kicking him out.
- Women in heat more than the men
- Obvious lesbian hitting on every woman on the dance floor.
- Cutie barmaid that was getting tips like crazy.
We have fun and nothing bad happened, that is always a good thing lol.
Got up witht he little woman and went to my first weight watchers meeting since my first weigh in. And lets just say I got a gold star! I lost my first 5 lbs, well actually 6.4lbs to be exact. Here is the card we keep with us to help keep you on track.
And after they say I lost my 5lbs mark I got a book mark and a gold star. It is all about giving ppl rewards to help them stay on target and not to get discouraged. I think the meetings are a great motivator in my book to keep me on my toes. I will admit I have made a few slip ups but I never let it get to me and I just make sure I get my ass in gear the next day. One bad day doesnt ruin the week, I think that is the key to sticking with it. I think so many ppl slip up and just say, "Aww fuck it, I just cannt " and give up. there isnt an easy way about losing weight, those who get what they want suffer at some point for it.
Here is a happy me with my first 5, 22 more to go.
( I did not proof reed any of this sooo soory for all the fuk ups, I will try to fuk down tommorow)
Thursday, February 15, 2007
This morning I was greeted with a nice winter present, my car in a block of ice. Snow can be shoveled away but ice takes a bit more. I first tried the regular snow shovel but it did nothing, then I brought out the garden shovel and went to town! Even that was not working, luckily a nice man stopped and gave me a hand getting the car out. I have helped complete strangers out in the past and maybe this was a little pay back. I cannt count the number of ppl I have given money to after a sob story. The last guy I gave 20$ to, he had the most believable story out of the lot.
I beleive I even blogged about it some time ago and I was going to troll around and put the link up......but again I am lazy and dont feel like it.
He just seemed to come out of nowhere, I was driving down this side street. We waved me down and started to tell me he ran out of gas and that he not bring his credit cards with him. He tried to get authorization for payment over the phone but the gas station would not take it. He said he was a mechanic from Red Bank NJ and he was in a big pickle, he was on his way to the airport to get his wife and kid.
He even offered to give me his watch for gas money, it was a nice Mavado watch and looking back I should have taken it but I am not like that. After he finished his story I took a look at him and he had all the tail-tell signs of a mechanic, rough hands, tan work boots(dirty), blue cover alls, flannel shirt and just an over all arua of grease monkey. I might be a sucker for a good sob down on his luck but I felt this guy was telling the truth. With that I gave him my last 20 I had for the week and let me tell you I needed that money! It wasnt like it was just hiding there, I was assed out for about 5 days after that, but I felt I did the right thing. And maybe that gift was what got me out of my ice prison this morning. I am a very paranoid person but I also believe in helping out your fellow man.......and woman. Donate an orgasim, so many ppl go everyday without one.
I do stop and help ppl but if its late and I cannt see you, sorry you are on your own. I have read enough true crime novels to know about the wackos out there. If I really think you are in trouble I will call the popo for ya and wish you good luck-----with my windows rolled up and the doors locked. I am all for brotherly love but I am agaist getting stabbed, duct taped and laid to rest in a shallow grave.
Now I am off to get some crap down, and make sure you cum back Friday I will have HNT and a TiTs Friday post to boot. I have had this TiTs FridaY post in the wings for 2 weeks now, sometimes there just isnt enough hours in one day to see all the boobage on the internet!
1) Last winter snow storm of '06' from my now dead Dodge.
2) Some random pic I found on line when looking up 'Snow Day'
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Back ground on what I won:
The idea behind this prize caught my attention faster than reading headlines like 'Paris Found Dead in Own Vomit'
'Sex, Drugs and Alcohol' was the topic of the prize for this game. I was all excited, my mind went off the deep in but reality brought me back down to a more innocent level. And even though I would have loved to have gotten a case of sinlge malt scotch, a bag of weed and life like sex doll I was tickled at what I got. Here let me show you:
1) Sex ,Drugs and Alcohol at its best:
2) The Sex: Hummer colonge, it brings the gold diggers out like you would not believe. I put this stuff on and the scent of new Hummer is an instant panty dropper for the young (18+) rap groupies.
2) Alcohol: SoCo and lime tee and the button that anyone can find on any TGIF's waitress whoring herself out to the drink of the night.
Up close of the logo. I have yet to try this drink, but I think when I break my dry spell this will be my drink of choice. I am now 43 day on the wagon.......booze doesnt help with the gut issue.
3) Drugs: This one had to be the funniest......they sent me grass! Well not the smokable kind but grass none the less. Fake grass, I am not sure what to do with this but stop by for HNT I have an idea.......muahahhaahhahahaha!
Here is the disclaimer that all alcohol products have to come with now. If I ever get to make my own teeshirt I might do a logo like this : 'Start the Night Right, Dink too Excess and Wake Up With Someone That Only Looked Good in Poor Light.' Or better yet 'Drink Fast, Drive Faster, Go to Jail even Faster, Ass Raped in Only 0-60 Seconds in Local Lock Up'
Here are some links to a few of the questions that I have asked in the past that helped me win the hearts and minds of the men @ Useless Advise From Useless men.
Thank you Useless Men!
My favorite Question I asked2
Friday, February 09, 2007
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
Enough, enough of that foul talk. Lets go to a happier place where Mr.McFeely comes and plays with you at nap time and some strange purple dinosuarish creature wants to talk to you about how getting kicked in the nuts but the bully made you feel. I have a few pictures from the weekend to help put us all in a better mood. We will feel better after this,,,,,yes well will.
Friday, February 02, 2007
2) I see the perfect place to put my beer coster, my plate, my feet and one really interesting bottle opener.
4) Now this is my kind girl! Grow it then show it I always say.
6) Now I know there arent any Hooters in this pic but I had this idea years ago but the ppl at the small buisness loan office didnt think it would work.
8) Lets play monkey in the middle and then we can play 'Hide and Find the Quater'