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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Do you know 'Gear-Fu'!?!

I have become the master of Gear-Fu, it is a driving martial art. The style of the drop gear and burn, the art of the power shift and the smooth fluid motion of the cut off the asshole in the left lane while down shifting and giving this cell phone talking make-up applying ass the finger. Here in NJ one must master this if they want to effectively piss off others while making them eat you dust.

I am not a fast driver, or at least I wasnt until I got my Matrix. I was able to beg and pleaded with the keeper of the sex to let me get it with a manual trans. I have tried to teach her but she is a bit shy and scared of the whole gear thing. But I love driving manual! I have mastered it and it has become almost automatic now.

Now, for the past few days I have been running late to work so this means I have been a bit more manic than usual and pushing the envelope of safety. And to make matters worse our local college metal/rock radio station has been playing some awesome music lately. Well they play awesome music most of the time, I have just been fortunate to be driving and catch some of the better stuff. And I dont know about other people but when a song comes on that I like that foot become even heavier! Here is what I heard this morning driving on the Parkway: Misfits: Dig Up Her Bones. That is even a little tame for my taste but then this song came on: Prong, Snap Your Fingers Snap Your Neck. And I must say when that song came on it was no holds barred! And sssshh dont tell the wife but me and this Acura were having a friendly highway duel, nothing bad but I was hauling ass!

As a master one must share ones knowledge in the hopes to inspire others to do better. In helping one must know certain facts about driving in NJ, each highway and route has different rules and guidelines. On the Parkway and the Turnpike it is more of a free for all with the left lane for fast moving cars ONLY. If you cant or wont drive fast get the fuck out, I will high beam you and honk my horn at you. Some say this is wrong but I have just found out from a cop that if you signal for a car to move over so you can pass and they dont, they have just broken the law. Yes speeding is wrong too, but if a car does not yield to the person trying to pass they can get pulled over too. Now, on the different route we have here like 78, 22 or 287 these are more like a death race than anything. Rt. 22 in the Springfield/Union area is a drag strip of many road side memorials to those you have failed. Physics does not allow for error or forgiveness for error. You more your ass or you loss you ass on this stretch of highway.

Gear-Fu become essential in the the ability to survive at these break neck speeds of transportation. One can use the Lymp-Wristed Slowmo Chi style and stay in the right lane and be fine but they too have their share or corner plots with the old RIP (rest in pieces) space holders.

I view driving as much of a sport as runners see moving ones legs for hours on end as a sport. It requires skill, mental sharpness and a quick middle finger to properly maneuver in this class. I love driving my car, I know it wont last because it is really is too small. We have been talking about getting a Toyota pick up, with the extended cab. Dont get me wrong I would LOVE to get me a man truck but the little boy in me wants to zip in and out and cut off old people, who for the most part dont even know it because they cannt see over the dash.
Also here in Jersey we have circles, they to add to the death race mortality rate. In a circle you must be able to drive, read signs and aim your car into the area you wish to go. If you fail at any of these steps no worry, just go around again. But being human and stupid no one wants to do that. So when one of those steps is missed the normal retard with end up going into a lane they did now want or end up crashed into the curb.
Now in conclusion I would like to extend my kung-fu grip on the wand of power to anyone who wishes to learn; How to change gears without the aid of the clutch, which can come in handy when trying to move fast throught the gears; How so slow down and speed up with doing nothing more than changing gears; The ability to steer with ones knees so you can take a turn at speed while changing gears and flipping off thy fellow man; or even the simplest task of NOT PUTTING THE CAR IN GEAR WHEN YOU PARK INSTEAD OF TAKING IT OUT OF GEAR AND USING THE HAND BREAK! I hate that!

I do not want to leave on a sour note of hate, so I will leave it off with something funny. I use my pc for work but for the most part I use it to goof off, and at the momment I am just rambling a bit because I dont want to do my work. Procrastination is like masturbation because in the end you are only fucking yourself! But since its fun lets keep it going: Here are some de-motivational posters I found that I would like to share.

1) This one is for the ladies!

2) I dont know about this, but its funny!

3) This happens to me all the time!

4) And since I was doing just this on Taxi moms blog mind as well do it here to!

It is Thursady people smile, the weekend is almost here and you are most likely one day closer to the day you die so live it up a little! (and take pictures as proof)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

No title......

I really could not come up with a better title sorry, my mind isnt working yet. I want to go back to bed but work wont let me sleep in ha!

So lets see what can i blog about.......hmmmmmm? Well, lets start on the fact my chest has been soooo sore for the past 2 days that I wanted to cry! And you know what? I like it! I went to the gym on Friday and did a full body destruction blast. I did it on the same format that circuit training works on but I did heavy weights instead of light using the pyramid system. Which basically means this:

Chest, legs, triceps, legs. back, legs, bicep, chest and then an ab exercise; 4 sets with reps starting at 12 then decreasing by 2 each set. With the weight increasing by 5lbs each set. So my chest and legs were my main target areas so they got the brunt of the damage, this week I will be doing something similar but attacking another body part; arms and back.

Chest: Dumbell bench starting off with 45lbs and finished with the 60lbs. When I dropped the weights at the last set I really dropped them! BOOB! And the rest of the work out went pretty much the same way. I walked out of there on wobbly legs and feeling like a million bucks! From there I started on my protein packing fun; shakes, cottage cheese, fat free yogurt, tuna fish and so forth. I am glad I am not lactose intolerant lol. -Side note: High protein diets give me the hot farts. So, you think your wind is bad Martini? Well come sit by me in the gym and I will let you Inherit My Wind! (Inside joke with myself hehe, thanks to my high school english teacher hehe)

And that was Friday, and today I can finally lift my arms up without wanting to cry. Tonight I will do a circuit training with the Chuck Norris Muscle machine plus abs. I am going to beat this battle of the bulge if it kills me! I have never tried the combination of shocking the muscles with circuit and heavy so lets see if it helps jump start my system a bit. I used to follow programs that were rather structured and routine and I think that might have been part of the problem. Our muscles learn very quickly how to work the hardest with putting the least amount of energy, damn our caveman memories!.....Dont ask I dont have the time to explain that one, its another inside joke with myself haha!

On Sunday I went food shopping and while I was there I decided to get the wife some flowers. We did not get anything for each other on V-day and I just wanted to remind her she is always on my mind. And besides; V-day is for booty calls, new romances and people that have to force love and romance on their partner because if it wasnt for that day they would never show any.

I got home brought in all the other stuff and brought in the flowers last. She was surprised and happy and a little concerned. First words out of her mouth were , "Thank you they are beautiful!" And the second set of words were , "What did you do?" I had to laugh, really I had to because being a man I did not even think that would have ever been a question to ask someone who is bearing gifts. I mean if my wife went out shopping and brought back a case of beer I would not think or even ponder that this was a 'I am sorry about something' gift! Only women think of these things.....and gay men! I love my wife to death and love the fact you never know what is going to come out of her mouth, nothing like a little spice in your life to keep it entertaining.

Oh, and here is a picture of those said flowers:

And for the record I did not do anything that required me to get them, she is the light of my life and I wanted to just let her know that ha! There is a saying that I use all the time because it applies almost to well to this world. And even though I dont believe in Heaven or Hell its a fun notion to use:

'The road to Hell is paved with good intentions'

This is proven to be true so many times in my life it is not even funny. You try to help someone and in turn you get them fried! There is a God and he has one hell of a sense of humor!

But any who.....I keep finding random pieces of candy in my sons room from his V-day party he had at school. I found this one on Sunday and took a picture of it. I was shocked at how much detail the makers of this ring pop put into this thing. To bad they did not put that same amount of effort into making it taste good. My son took one taste and chucked it in the garbage. I wanted to taste it too but after seeing in resting on a diaper in the garbage I just imagined it tasting like an old used diaper.

The weekends are for fun, games and screeching that only little girls and 2 year old boys can create. We took out the fishing game for them to play with and the fighting started. First it was over who got the red fishing pole. Then it was about Lucas pulling the fish out and pulling off their heads and then it was from Lucas turning it off and on. And then it was from Lucas trying to push Seth off his chair....does anyone see a pattern here. I used to think it was Seth bothering the little one, Lucas but I had it all wrong. But it is all ok, they are happy, healthy and loud. All part of the parenting madness that will land us all in AA meeting when we are grand parents.

Evidence: Lucas turning it off and on.....notice his blue helmet of power on the table.....and the fact they both have red fishing poles! Man I need a drink and it is all from just thinking about what was going on lol.

Me and the little lady also took a little outing alone to visit the tattoo parlor. I wanted to talk to someone about a sleeve and she wanted to know about how much it would cost for the one she wants. Her will cost about $100-150 and only take about an hour at most. She wants a trinity knot much like this picture ( I borrowed from some Internet site):

The one she wants isnt as detailed and she wants hers a little lower on her back but you get the idea. The two i want will be full arm sleeves, and there will be a theme. The right arm will be the arm of Chaos. With the main tattoo being the wheel of chaos, much like this one just altered a bit:

And the other arm incorporating this symbol for the left arm of Order:

The symbol of chaos comes from War Hammer, a role playing game much like Dungeons and Dragons just with a different setting and the symbol of Order is a labyrinth or AKA 'The Hard Path to God'. I will alter both of these to make them a little bit more to my liking and then let the artist do his thing. I am looking to have a real artist work here, not just some flash tattoo guy that does black panthers and Chinese symbols of your usual douche bags. I am a unique douche that wants some unique ink damn it.
I will be going to see the guy that did my sailor girl last summer on Wednesday, I hope he can come through with what I am looking for!

Friday, February 13, 2009

As usual....

I am slacking off on my blogging but hey at least I am consistant lol.
Last Firday we had a huge wind storm here in NJNY that actually killed 2 people in NJ and one in NYC.
One lady had a tree branch falling on her car causing her to crash into the meduim, DOA; A lady in Newark was killed when a branch fell on her, DOA; and in NYC a worker had a wall fall on him that he was working on, DOA.
And here at my job we had the siding come flying off! Not one was hurt but it did damage a few cars. Below is a picture if the wind in action as it tears off another sheet!

And on the same day, which by the way was Friday the 13th, one boss bought us donuts and another bought us pizza. And since I am on my summer diet I had a huge interanl fight with myself!

I am glad to report I won for the most part, I only had one donut and old fashion. And had 2 slices of pizza, and that was all I ate until I went home.....and had more pizza lol. But in all I did not pig out suprisingly.

My diet and work out is on point even though the scale isnt showing it. My cloths feel so much better on me and my summer teeshirts are starting to fit the way they should. I am not where I want to be yet but it is a slow moving process that is still going good.
I even started back at the gym this week! I love the gym, I am not sure if I ever mentioned that but I am a huge gym rat. I love working out at the gym, the gym itself is a motivator for me. The smell of iron on my hands, the fell of the callouses forming on my palms, the sight of my veins bulging and even the stale smell of the very gym. I used to work in one and I must say that was one of the best shit jobs I have ever had!

Now while I was getting ready to leave, I was about to throw out my protein shake when I saw this in the garbage:

And by all means this is where everything they have done since the Black album belongs, but not this one! I was almost tempted to take it out but I was afraid I might get an Arod needle stick in my hand! Instead I think I will just go home and pirate the ablum from one of the many places i know to get music.
I am off to the gym today as well, today is the day I will do a full body blast. All week I have done the Major/Minor muscle split, Sunday Chest and tri; Monday Back and Biscep; Tuesday Abs; Wednesday Shoulders; Thursday off and today Full body distruction (with extra attention on legs)! I cannt wait!
PUMP IT UP PUMP IT UP! WoooooooooooooHooooooooooooo!

Thursday, February 12, 2009


I work for a company that makes shampoo's, hair dye and cosmetics. And sometimes those chemicals they use go places they shouldn't. On Thursday we had a little problem, nothing big just a bit of run off that went into a pipe that it was not supposed to. Now the stuff that got out was not toxic, and in all honesty it was just soap bubbles but when the township gets invovled you know some fines will be in place.

They way I found out about this little problem goes like this:

I was sitting at my desk and starving, my diet has me at odds with myself most of the time. And today I broke down and went to BK for a couple of the hamburgers from the dollar menu. Nothing over the top just something to take off the edge. Then, as I am pulling out of the driveway I see this huge pile of I dont know what in the middle of the street. I honestly thought it was a pile of salt that some salt truck had dropped by accident. I have a shovel in the trunk and thought I would get it up when I come back, I HAD TO EAT!

And true to my word I only got Jr. Whoppers from the dollar menu, no fries, no soda, no dessert and I even went in to get it. Burned a few calories standing in line lol!

So off I went with my bag of happines back to the office and that pile of an unknown substance. I park my car then mossey on over to take a look at this stuff, but now there where 2 piles and the first one was bigger! And now it was taking on a purple hue, my first thoughts where " Oh Fuck, not again!" Because you see this had happened once before about 3 years ago, but that time it got to the little river they have here which is actually a wild life preservation......oh yeah you know someone had their ass handed to them for that one! Well since then, the company said they had put in measures to make sure that never happened again......well today we found out they didn't. All the people involved in the last soap discharge have all since left, retired, been let go or just flown the coop. So now we have a group of new people that have no idea what to do or have any knowledge of the last one. So needlessly to say it was a cluster fuck at best.

But my job only entails observation and reporting, so I am totally in the clear. But I still get a kick out of watching people that are 'in charge' being told what to do when they step out of their little pond, lol.

Here is a picture of what will come down to some serious problems in the days to come:

It has been one day since the clean up, which came down to the fire department hosing it into the drains, and no news has filtered to me about who is going on the chopping block for it. I know its coming, I dont remember what happened last time but someone did take a dive last time, and I am sure it will not be any different this time.
I will be posting soon on my other blog called 'Workout and the Pain That Follows' about what I have been doing. I started on Saturday and have only taken yesterday off. I started off at 222lbs and todays weigh in showed me at 217. I have gone up since my last weigh in at 213.5 but that is how it goes in my world. But 5 lbs lost is still better than 5 lbs gained. Shelia is totally kicking my but in this war of the buldge but that is ok, it is just more of a motivation for me to do better. And I think that is what I need, someone to challenge me, so Shelia (even though I think I keep misspelling your name) I am going for you! (not really, you are hot and all but I dont think my wife would like that or your man hahaha) I still have 3.5 months before I have to go shirtless so the game is ON

Monday, February 09, 2009

Another day in my life.....

I missed the Monday round up just because I am a lazy shit. Now its Tuesday and I have cleared out just about everything I needed to do for the day.....and its only 0815! So I now have to time to bs a little. So, now I bring you:
Phil's Weekend Round Up!
Well, i have been feeling a bit bummed for about a week now. Bills are pilling up, we did our taxes and the money we are 'going' to get back is already gone. Bill collectors calling, email reminders of how much in the hole I am in and a general feeling of doom and gloom has been clouding my mind. I keep telling myself that it isnt so bad; we both have jobs, the kids are healty and insane, we have a nice apartment, we both have cars with no major issues, we get to go out all the time, I am married to my best friend and that everything else is generally OK. But ever get that little tick of uneasiness that you just cannt shake? Well I do so I did what any other red blooded American would do in times like this: I called up the Captian and got hammared!
After work I called up Pete and ask him if he wanted to walk to the happy store so i could pick up something cheap and easy. I was going for some Wild Turkey but this store did not carry it, so I went for the smaller bottle of Captain and some diet coke......hey I am still on a diet after all! So I ended up drinking, playing COD4 and listening to the movie Trainspotting. There are some movies I can just listen to while doing other things. Trianspotting is one, Fear and Loathing, Equalibrium and Full Metal Jacket are a few others I can do the same with.
I was doing real shitty on COD4 until my drunk turn into full inebriation! At first it was, the more I drank the worse I got; but then......I became the god of the game! I won at least 4 rounds and I was so drunk I was literally rolling on the floor while playing. I love wireless controlers!
The wife had a touch of the stomach flu so she had been out cold since she came home at 1700hrs. So I got the kids washed, feed and in bed before I started my own one man frat party. The kids were well asleep before I became a wild animal.
But around 0300 hrs she woke up and told me it was time to go to be, the kids would be up soon and I since she wasnt feeling all that great it would be me doing most of the work......

I got up around 0800 and funny enough no hang over. I did smell a bit off but that is what rum will do to ya! I did some chores and got the kids out and about. Then at 1200hrs a friend called and asked if I wanted to go shooting. Fuck yeah! So we made a play date/time to meet at Ray's Sport shop in Watchung, NJ @ 1300hrs. He brought his S&W .40 cal and about 500 rounds of amo. I took my camera but they had strict rules about no picture taking so all I was able to get was this:

The .40 was a bit of a beast but once I found my spot I was golden. I am not saying I was a marksman but I did hold my own. It has been almost 2 years since I last shot anything so cut me some slack! One funny thing about the range was that the stales we had to use where a bit tight. So everytime a bullet was fired it sent the spent shell flying back at you! And I must say having a hot shell fly down the front of your shirt isnt the most pleasnt of things lol!
Now, Ray's is set to shut down which is a sad day in NJ history. This place has been a land mark for almost 45 years, and from the look of the bathroom they have not changed much since they first opened their doors:

We found out that the owner has sold the land to the Nissan dealer next store and they have plans to demo the building to put in a bigger dealership. And that is just what we need in times like this: Nissan laying off over 200, 000 people (I might have my numbers wrong so dont quote that) and our government in a financial shitter. Because we all know that with so many people losing their jobs that there is a huge rush to buy new cars!
You know what,,,, fuck Nissian and fuck everyone else that has had a hand in creating this mess. I am not about to go into a rant about what I read today about this whole plan of Barack Hussein Obama. All I have to say about it is this: Buisness as usual!

I got another call this time from old buddy Pete who wants to go bowling. So we (Me, wife, Seth, Lucas, Devon and Alan) all pack in the car and head down to the alley. In all our group comes to 11 people in all, 3 games, 3 lanes, and 9 pairs of shoes comes to $225! Since when did bowling become so exspensive?!?! I forgot my camera, which pissed me off to no end but what can one do?
I did break out my old ball from like 12 years ago! I used to be in a leauge....come on I am white after all! It is like a right of passage for all honkeies, get tattooed, join a bowling leauge and make fun of Democrates.....well I make fun of any political sides, its how I get by without crying sometimes.
Here is my ball:

After 3 games and 2 pitchers of the worst watered down beer I have ever had I now know I need to be drunk to do better. Bowling is one sport that I get better at as the drinking gets heavier! First game, sober: 79. Second game, getting there: 112. Third game, there: 125. See, now all I have to do is make sure if I do join any leauge again that I start with at least one pitcher in me!

I did take some random pictures around the house over the weekend. I am not sure what day they where taken on but that really doesnt matter I guess:

1) Our son has found his medium: The walls. Here we have a budding Picaso, I was a bit concerned when I asked him who that was and he said 'Me, dats Seth!' But after asking if he like to wear dresses he did say that only girls and sailors named Lawrence wore dresses. And that he was a boy and his name was Seth. I felt much better!

2) We let him play with his computer and even though it has been a while since he has used it, he did not forget one thing. He has the look of someone trying to take over the world, there is hope for him yet!

3) Here we have one of those moments that reasures me why I should not eat my young.

4) And I know I did not take this one but I found it on the internet and had to share. I recently put a photoshop program in my computer so I might be making a few of these myself. But until then I would like to share something that made me smile....................

I still think she is hot....and that Madonna really needs to stop taking off her top! She is like that creepy old bar fly that is WAY past her prime.

This Just In!
Here are two pictures that I just took as I went to the bathroom to wash off the orange I had on my hands:
1) I know I have posted this is the past but it now has a brother.....

2) and this is the new one I saw as I was walking back to my office.....

Does anyone see a pattern here?

Wednesday, February 04, 2009

7 years and counting....

I am retarded.....its Hump Day and I just noticed I have a case of retardation! I started this post on 12/14/2008 and for some reason I never finished it, and while I was trolling around my own blog I noticed it said 'draft' next to it. And I was all like WTF? I am sooo glad my wife only drops in here once in a while, she would have kicked my ass if I missed this one! So with out any more delay I give you: The Post That Was Lost In Draft!


We went out to a fancy resturant last Friday to celebrate 7 years of marriage, which the actual day was Dec. 8th. But it fell on a Monday so we put it off until Friday. We went to a portgueuse place in Roselle, NJ called Solar De Minho. Some super fancy place that was said to have great food. I am all up for new places so i was game.

The decor was very cool, if I ever win the lottery I am going to have my house designed like this.

The food was not all that in my book. I had lobster tails stuff with crab meat and the wife has this steak thing. The lobster was rubbery and the steak was....well just a steak. We did get a huge pitcher of sangria that I later learned cost $14! I could have made 3 pitcher for that price!

Here we have the wife unit all smiles, because even though the food was so so we were out alone with no kids and enjoying each others company.

The wife wanted me to smile nice for the camera but when cameras are pointed at me this strange thing happens to me: I become retarded. Not that being a retard is all that different from my normal demeanor.

But I did try my best on the second try, man I have a hugeeeee head!

At the table we were at, we got a full view of the kitchen area. I am not sure why they have the kitchen set up like this. I mean I really do not care to see the little people behind the scenes when I go out on the town. I mean if I am going to live a momment like a rich person I want the whole effect; Doors magically open with my aide, my drinks never going past the half empty mark, more forks and spoons than I know what to do with and having lackies bending over backwards for me getting me my diet water with limes with no rines!

After the meal we had the dessert, or is it desert!?!, I am not sure and do not feel the need to look it up. Maybe I can have one of my office lackies do it later for me. The wife had this mouse thing that was death by sugar.

And I had this artisy fartsy chocolate and rasberry mouse dish that came in a chocolate bowl. And the whole time I was eating it I kept thinking, "How the hell am I going to lick off that chocolate and carmel lines without looking like a mad cow?" I did manage a few swipes of the finger but did not do the all out plate in the air lick as I wanted to.

In the end with tip and all this little adult outing cost my credit card $150! It took a poker face and a wine induced steady hand not to freak out at sticker shock. I have class when I want to have class!
(next thought still from original post)
Last week we gave one of my wife's IT guys an old laptop I have had in my closet, to see if he can fix it. Well he did and even did a whole bunch of extra things for us. Like adding an internal something or rather that allows him to play on the internet anywhere in the house. I am not all that savy on these things but it has something to do with this router thing my wife hooked up. Dont know how it works, but me and my CoD4 is glad it does.

I was shocked at how well he was able to naviagate the laptop and fast he figured out how to get to cartoon network and playhouse disney. I now have to add some parental guards to keep him out of those other places he might want to wander to!

When I told him we had to get him a new mouse because the one on the laptop did not work that well he said, 'No dadda's this is the mouse.' Pointing at the mouse pad on the keyboard. I was shocked because this was the first time he had ever used this one. He will be running circles around me in no time. This is why I try to keep up on what is new and going on, I dont want to be like my ex and clueless to what is in my childs world. Now, I am not going to one of those parents that use the new jive of the day but at least when he speaks I know what he is saying.

Here is a test for all you parents to see how up to speed you really are on what most kids these days know (I might have missed a few so please let me know if I missed any):

What is-

  1. Emo

  2. Text Language: LOL, WTF, STFU

  3. Shoes, as it related to cars

  4. Tweaking

  5. YouTube

  6. Parkour

  7. Ricer ( this one is rather old)

I think I had more on this topic and I think I even did a post in the past about people being out of the loop but since this post is over a month old I dont remember. But this ooppss on my part has shown me that I need to go throught my blog one of these days and do some cleaning. I wont remove any post, even if they are horribly written and pointless. If I posted it then it needs to remain......Oh and if the wife is reading this, I am sorry.....:-x

Monday, February 02, 2009

Weekend round up.....

1) On Friday the wife was invited to a birthday party of one of the cops that watch the bank she works at. I was not sure how it was going to turn out, it was being held at a bar I would not venture to in the day light let alone go there at night! But as the night wore on and the free beer kept jumping at me I was alllllll right. It was strange having people I didnt know buy me dirnks but if you want an instant me BEER!

The birthday boy got an awesome cake made to resemble his favorite drink....Dewarts. I tried to get a picture of it but it was so dark they all came out crappy. But let me tell you it was great, it stood about a foot in hight and looked like a real bottle!

One of the cool parts of the bar was this digital junk box, it was $1 a song or 12 songs for $5. Me and the missus kept attacking it because if you did not feed it, it would randomly play crappy spanish music. Now I am not saying spanish music sucks.....ok yes I am .....I cannt stand typical spanish music, just as I am sure most people that listen to that would loath my punk and metal taste. Which is why i subjected them to it by force; by putting in my cash and playing everything from Flogging Molly, NOFX, Nickleback, Seether and Mega Death. Take that you non english speaking bar maids! And yes there were 3 TIGHT pants wearing bar maids there serving us our drinks. But several things to note about that:

1) When you are a bartender it is usually a bad idea to get drunk with everyone else....bad buisness.

2) Big Boobs does not equal good bar service. These had to be the worse bar tenders I have ever had. Ok, the whole not being able to speak english did not help but come on....Vodka Sour isnt rocket science! Watching her make me a rum and coke was down right painful!

3) And if you do get drunk while working; going into the crowd and pinching everyones butt is also a no-no in the bartenders hand book. Lets just say I did not point out she pinched my butt with the wife standing right next to me.....I actually thought it was my wife until she pointed out that the bartender was pinching everyone elses butt that night. Oh what a nightmare that would have been.

Also not to mention my wife had 4 beers! I know no one here knows my wife but she never drinks beer, that was just too awesome in my book!

But while I was there I did notice something that got me giggling to myself. Does anyone remember those Coors Light,or was it Bud....., commercials back in the 80's? You know, the one where the guy asks the bartender for a 'Light' and all kinds of craziness would happen? Well, I do and this clock made me think of them:

All in all it was a good night, our cop friend offered us a police escourt home but the wife said she ok to drive.....I need more cop friends i think.Never know when you might need a favor lol. We get home and, I learned later, that i passed out on the bed sideways. The wife isnt strong enough to roll me so she tried in vain to wake me. But when that failed she said she resorted to the only thing she could think of the get me 'up'........thats right, she started nut slapping until I moved. What where you thinking hmmmmmmm? Dirty minded fools, well actually I thought that was what she was going to tell me too! But I was to drunk to notice or remember the assualt. And she said it bearly worked, man I must have been assed out!

2) Saturday went by pretty normal, not even a hang over, until the night fell. Seth woke up around 2300hrs and started vomitting. And continued this every 10-15 minutes until 0500 Sunday morning. I was up playing COD4 so every other game I was running to his room to race him over to the toliet. I did no plan on staying up that late playing but I figured if I was going to be awake all night mine as well make something out of it. I finally got to sleep around 0430 when I turned vomit patrol over to the wife. She said he got up 2 more times after that but I was out and did not hear a thing!

3) Sunday, I got a present from the ex when she decided not to go to church on Super Bowl Sunday at 0930, and I got to keep the oldest a little longer. He spent the night over at the inlaws house to play with Alan, and his Xbox. We joined him later that morning, Seth woke up as cheerful and insane as he usually does. No one would have known by the look of him that he spent the whole night blowing chunks!
Off to the inlaws we went, I played outside on the ice with the boys. It would seem that the side of the house has a water problem creating a pond of ice. We spent some time sliding about on it, I got pretty banged up, even bruised my knee. Nothing big, just annoying the next day. From there we went outback for some snow soccer and snow balling. After we frozed our fingers off we went in to defrost. later on that afternoon it got a lot warmer and we were able to back out. No jackets needed at that point, so Alan brought out his skyrunners to get some practise.

1) Getting them on is an adventure in itself!

2) He said it is like learning to walk all over again!

3) The mud made for a perfect place to fall if need be, but the left over ice was most unwanted.

4) After about 30 minutes or so he just about had it down pat!

5) The hardest part about them he said was just standing still. He even was able to do a few hops by the end of his exercise.

6) I took a quick video with my Olympus, the battery was about to die so I only got a few seconds of it. This was his first walk in the street. After about 4 trips up and down the street he no longer needed a hand....or head in the wife's case.

We had a good number of people stopping and starring, I wish I had gotten the a video of him walking and doing the princess wave to passing cars. I was waiting for someone to crash while watching him do his thing lol.
The rest of Sunday went rather well, ate, did laundry, ate again and steam clean the living room floors. All this snow and salt is causing hell on the floors in the house!
And Shelia I did weigh in this weekend, I will get a picture of it soon. I weighed in at 213.5!
I started at 222, so I have lost 8.5 pounds in just over 2 weeks! I am getting serious damn it and I will have a flat gut come this beach season! I have not been 200 lbs in many years, I want to be there by summer. I still have to get my ass in gear as far as working out in conserened, got the diet thing down now on to sweating!