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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Hot days in NJ

What do people do after a long day at work on a hot summer day? We go to the f-ing pool, das what! Yep I got home from work and packed up the kids and went swimming. Lots of fine hot moms all around but I only took the camera out a few times, the batteries were going dead and hell I wanted to swim!
But, I did want to share a few of the things we see around here. Below you will find one of the people you will always find at the pool. I call him, 'The Bronze Man'. He is always there doing the same thing.....nothing. He smokes and tans, smokes and tans, I have never even seen him get up to go pee, he is a tanning god among men!

But he is boring to watch but I had to make note of him ha. Here we have a few pictures of Seth and he ever so slowly leaking floatie. You see he can swim but does not like going in without his floatie, so we are slowly taking the air out of it. Making him swim harder and in time he will just take them off.

I mean come on, if you could be lazy and float around like a turn in the punch bowl, wouldnt you?

We were there for about 2 hours then headed home. There where tons of women in bathing suites about 2 sizes too small but I did not get any pictures of them. I was more interested in jumping off the diving board and swimming. I can now swim from the deep end all the way to the shallow end without stopping. I think it is almost 100 yards or soo, now I have to work on going back without stopping.
As we were leaving I saw something glaring off to my right, and when I looked over I was blinded! Two big white orbs where in the grass, i was not sure what they where so I put on my wielding goggles and was then able to see what it was. As you can see here it was some hot sexy mom butt in much need of some sun. I love moms that show ha!

I was just notified the president of the company is coming in today, I should have shaved but oh well. Time to stop jerking off on my blog and pretend I was typing up a memo.....LIKE A BOSS
(you have to see that video I watch it like once a day!)

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Its Monday.....wait no it isnt!

Yeah I missed Monday but oh well, no one likes Monday's any way lol. But it is now time to do my weekend round up. Starting with Friday:
I worked again for some much needed over time. And even thought I was going to play golf on Saturday morning and I had not gotten any real sleep since Wednesday I still worked. I had to babysit the doggie day festival that my job has every year. They have every kind of vendor for everything dog, the slogan....'Because Your Dog is Worth it Too.' Let see if anyone can guess which product line uses a slogan like that one.....

Here we have the pool they set up for the air dogs, they throw a ball in the water the dog runs in and gets it. A real no brainer, I think it would have been more entertaining to take a bunch of crack heads and do the same. Throw some crack in the pool and watch them run in for it. I bet the could jump farther too.

It was f-ing hot that night and I was tempted to jump in until I noticed a thin layer of dog hair all over this pool. Nasty! So I went to one of the ones that had yet to be fouled by any human or dog. And since I was all alone I changed into my own cloths and spent the night with my feet in the water reading H.P. Lovecraft stories. Man, sitting in a remote location in the dark all alone sure does add to the spooky factor when reading his stuff lol.

Saturday I went out for my first golf outing. I forgot my camera and my wallet! Luckily my friend Pete spotted me the money for the round, I was a bit off due to lack of sleep. I did suck ALOT, so it was a good thing I forgot my camera, no need for evidence of that! But I did not lose any balls and hell i even came home with a few extras. I spent alot of time in the trees and mud so I actually found other peoples lost balls ha! And anyone who ever said golf was an easy sport has never played, by the time I got home I was done! But then there was a call out at work and I was up for some more abuse/overtime.
Now, after the golf my feet hurt, I just chalked that up to my feet getting wet and all the walking I did. But no, it turned out I had; not one but two splinters in my feet. I am not sure if they where wood splinters or some type of woodland barb. Whatever the case they hurt like hell and did not get the second one out until last night. The wife unit dug one out on Sunday when I finally was able to see them. For some odd reason I could not find them but after a hot shower and much foot scrubbing I was able to see them. This is the first one that came out on Sunday, how does something this small hurt soooo much?

But after that things were much better lol. Now, I am not sure if I mentioned it but we moved both boys into one room. They have been this way for almost 2 weeks and so far it has not been a big deal. But in doing so we had to make room and get rid of some things. One of them was this old toy chest, this thing is as old as I am. My mom has kept this with us for some odd reason, and even after the bottom broke out she nailed the top to the bottom and added wheels to it. I am not sure why but she wants to keep it. I told her we where cleaning out the kids stuff and asked if she wanted it back. She said yes, its a relic to our childhood years so i am guessing that is why she is holding on to it.

People are weird sometime.....and other times they are just down right assholes. Like this guy below. For a while we thought he was gone. You see we have this white trash family that lives down the street from us. And their kids run rampant, the parents are either drunk, lazy or stupid .....or maybe a combination of all of the above. But about a week ago I saw the mother outside on the front steps raising hell about something. All i know is that there was a huge TV face down in the drive way and the 2nd floor window was busted out. And then the next day he was nowhere to be seen and the mother had a large grey box truck hauling away tons of I dont know what. He was nowhere to be seen for about 4 days........
But then our hero shows up again riding up and down the street doing wheelies on this dirt bike. We have called the cops on him before but it has done nothing. So we sit outside and hope he crashes and breaks all the bones in his body. I wanted to get a picture of him so if and when it happens I can do a before and after shot, I am just hoping I am there when it happens!

I am thinking of buying a high powered air soft gun and shooting him from the 3 floor window, but I think that would be illegal lol.....just kidding I am not going to shot anyone.....:-P

We are now 4 days away from going to Virgina Beach.....I cannt f-ing wait! I have my base tan, I could probably lose a few pounds by then if I try but if not fuk it, i am still going to be half naked for the whole week!

Friday, August 14, 2009

Its Firday, ithink.....ihope....

Thursday and Friday I am working for some serious blood money. I started my day on Thursday at 0330 in the morning, I woke up wide awake unable to go back to sleep. So I got up and went for a jog, my first in a long while so I went easy but did a good number of pull ups and leg lifts. Feeling that workout today ha!
Got to work at 0600hrs, left there at 1400hrs and ran home really fast and headed out to the other site where I would stay until 2330 hrs! And all i had to do was make sure no one messed with any of the things they had set up for the fair for this coming Saturday. It is some thing they do for dogs and breast cancer fund raisers.

One of the cool parts about it is that I was all alone to do just about anything I wanted, like run in the grass with no shoes on!

And chase after frogs!

I do not see many frogs around where we live so when I find one I harass the shit out of them. i sure hope I didnt give this poor guy a heart attack.

Also in my barefooting adventures i came across this huge moth that would not move, and yes it was alive. I thought about getting the frog and putting it in front of the moth to see if he would eat it, but I did not want to get frog pee on me again. The last time I found a frog we where in Va visiting NavyMan and I picked it up and it peed on me. Not sure but that doesnt sound sanitary.

I have plans to go out golfing for the first time tomorrow morning, a bit nervous because i still suck and it will be my first time off the driving range. I plan on have lots of balls and lots of pictures to document my epic failure!
And speaking of failure I was trolling through photobucket the other day and typed in the word 'sexy' I am shocked and appalled at what some people call sexy, but what really got me was that one picture that really did not fit at all. I saw tons of myspace head shots, in my thong lost in the sauce pictures, millions of douche bags with the' I suck dick puck face' look and the occasional hot chick that was so hot she might have given Steven Hawkins the ability to walk. But please tell me what is sexy about this, i mean I know its a cute pussy and all but nothing all that sexy really.......
Have a fun weekend, take pictures, drink booze (before the Obama God tries to take that away) and share the ride with all of use here. If you have no plans, make some and if you still do nothing....lie! Make up some wild ass story so on Monday I have something to read lol!

Thursday, August 13, 2009

HNT, quikie.....

We finally got our photos done for out passes to the Hillside pool. The hours for photos are Monday-Friday 9am-12 noon and sorry but us working folks cannt come in those hours. But he finally had some after hours for us so we went in and got them. i will take a picture of our awesome passes soon but today is HNT and I have little time. I will be working 34 hours in the next 2 days with only about 8 hours of sleep in total available. Lets see if I actually get that much. Vacation is coming and need some cash!

So, on with the show:

1) I was going to do the ass tan line but I have already shown my butt so I thought I might go for something a little different. I put this mirror up last week but made a mistake when hanging it. I was trying to put 2 screws on 2 different studs so this heavy ass mirror would not come crashing down. My mistake was it now covers the light switch. Oh well, i like where it is at so it stays.

2) I know I was not going to drink but there was a bottle with just a tad left and i wasnt going to let it just sit there all alone! So I downed it last night right before I did some serious gaming with my COD (Call of Duty). Geeks Unite!

I woke up today at 0330hrs and i have no idea why. I could not go back to sleep so i got up, stretched and went for a jog. And stopped by the pull up bar to do about 32 or so of them. No coffee needed as of yet, but its only 0640 and I wont be home until almost midnight tonight!
Now, remember to share in the HNT tradition, I want to see some skin!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009


Yesterday we went to the pool and did the usual swimming thing. Nothing of note really, the usual Brazillian women in bikinis that are also sold as eye patchs in some stores and their children dressed in the same fashion. Its one thing to see a grown man run by in a speedo but its a whole other thing to see a little boy run by in one. Each one just as funny but one you will never admit you saw, well unless you are like Micheal Jackson then you will give him Jesus juice and have sleep overs with him. We almost did not go because yesterday was the hottest day in NJ so far. It sucks really, the summer is almost over and we are now finally getting some summer weather! Global warming my ass, bring us some of it!

After that we headed over to Costcos and the food store. I get a real kick out of seeing the TUB of mayo and the ketsup bottle big enought to drown a small horse! And while at Costcos we did see a few oddities....
one: We saw what looked like a man with his 3 daughters, but no! It was a man with his 2 daughters and his really really pettie wife. She was not a midget just really small.
Two: I saw what I thought was a heavy set man with his woman shopping, but the wife pointed out that he was a she! And yes after I re-adjusted my eyes it turned out to be a woman....and oh did the fantasy island reel start! The wife wasnt to bad looking but it was veryyyy obvious who was the catcher and who was the pitcher in that game of love!

From there we went to our local food store, Stop and Shop. It is a bit on the ghetto side but it is a block from the house! And every other week they have awesome deals on chicken breast, like 6 of the skinless breast for about 6 bucks! How sweet is that! And most of the time the people you see walking and working there are just too funny not to go in and just look around. There was this one guy that used to work there, he is probably in jail or something, that used to work the cash register. He had gang tattoos on his neck, long braided hair, and he used to wear either white gold or silver jewelery....lots of it. Like Mr. T lots of jewelery. He had rings on every finger, a huge star of david necklace....which by the way did not mean he was jewish, it is also a gang syblom of the crips.....yeah we be in da hood! I have not seen him in a while. Maybe the local Bloods didnt like him all up in dar buizzness so they offed him out back.
But as we were leaving there was a detour from the underpass that takes us home. It seems that a flat bed truck carrying another truck hit the under pass going fast as hell. From the picture below it is hard to tell what happened. And believe me I was a foot away from this thing and i could not figure out where one began and the other one ended. They where mashed together, it looked like it had gone through a blender or something.

But besides that my Monday was pretty normal. It is now 0830 on a Tuesday and I have been at work for 2.5 hours and have yet to do anything, so have a good one and make sure you take a camera everywhere you go. You never know when you might bump into a 6 foot tranvestite with flamming red hair you will have to blog about when you get home!

Monday, August 10, 2009

Its Monday.......the count down begins...

2 more weeks before we head down to Virgina Beach for a week of fun in the sun. We are renting a condo a block from the sand with 2 bedrooms and a deck. I have to stop eating now and start up the cardio to get ready for it. I am not all that flabby but nothing like a crash diet to get things a bit tighter lol. So I did a little send off party for the things i will not be eating or drinking for the next 2 weeks. I drank a six pack of Bud Light with lime....I did not like it at first but its growing on me. And I also drank about 4 bottles of Boons Farm.....Hawiian Blue is the best! I also ate just about anything in my path and now sitting at my desk I am paying the price. I really wish my new office had a window lol!

I am pressed for time so let me just post my pictures and be on my way:

1) It was hot and muggy this weekend, we went to the pool but sorry to say I did not take out the camera. The wife was in a foul mood so sometimes you have to know when not to press your luck lol. Here we have me being my normal retarded self with an air soft gun. Nothing beats a real gun but until they invent bullet proof fencing this will have to do.

2) Since when is it a good idea to take someones picture while they are aiming a gun at you?

3) This reminds me of that game i used to play, DOOM. I used to love all his corny saying, it was like playing in a 80's action flick lol.

4) I tend not to ask the wife unit to play with my toy, she likes to shot me with it. But doesnt like to get shot.....tough titty....hmmmm titties.....

6) After all the fun that could be had was had, we went in to eat ourselves into a food coma. Here we have Sharon showing us just how to counter the effects of eating too much. Also how to get ready for some intense ass whoopings.

7) No officcther, eyes not drunk eyes alwaths sound, look and smell like dis......

So as of now I am in 'Weekend De-tox' mode for the next 2 weeks. I now have to some how get my butt out of bed in the morning to exercise. Its the only time I have to do so, I must do it....maybe tomorrow......

Friday, August 07, 2009

Wow TGIF, has never been so true!

Friday has finally come and today I get something I have never had....a day at the pool alone! The wife told me to go and she will pick up the kids after she gets out....and people wonder why I love her lol. And to boot I am going to have about $350 saved up towards my tattoo today. I am going to save about 500 before I call again for another appointment. Which will be in the beginning of September; I am craving some much needed ink!

Yesterday was the MIL's 55th birthday. Happy Birthday MIL! She would probably hit me over the head if she knew I just posted her age but she never comes here so I think I am safe *ducking just in case*

In other news I am in the process of trying to join the Mason's. I am not sure about how much I can say about what goes on here so I wont go into detail about it. Most people know at least what they are so if you dont know what they are I suggest a quick goggle search.

Now with that said, does anyone that might be a member be willing to write me a letter of recommendation....:-X hahahahaha.

On my way back from a meeting with my possible sponsor I can across an awesome car, but it did not have what I wanted: A manual tranny. The first thing I look for in a muscle car is the stick, I am sorry but a muscle car that is an automatic is like having a bull with no balls.

It is a 1978 Dodge Charger, you know back in the day when that commanded some real respect lol. Other than the stick problem I could not find anything cosmetically wrong with it. I would prefer to have the big back slick tires but I am not buying, just looking.

Also while looking around I found this on the internet and had to share. This one is for you Martini:

You mentioned about doing something funky with your car, how about this?

I was going to try for a 'TiTs FrIdAy' post but with my back to the door I am overly paranoid to what I have on my computer at any give time so I stuck with some very work friendly words like:Woman

And, I am all about equal rights but I had to share with what I found. Have a fun weekend remember to take pictures to share with all......

Tuesday, August 04, 2009

Getting settled....

I am just about settled in our new office. I am busy from about 0600 hrs until quiting time at 1400 hrs. I thought getting up at 0400 hrs was going to be hard but to my surprise it has not. I go to bed much earlier than I used to and it makes all the difference. I am in bed not long after we get the evil monsters of defiance in bed. But with new changes come new ways of doing things. I now have to do all my internet playing early as shit because it is the only time of the day I can keep my door closed and not worry about who is behind me!
But enough about that lets do a quick recap of the weekend.

Friday: I had to work the midnight shift into Saturday at the old site for a fill in. It was strange being at the old site with all the computers gone. But it was also kind of cool because I was the only one there so I spent the night watching movies. I watched 28 Days Later, Batman and Hannibal. I even pick up a book I have been meaning to read, 'About Face' Its a book co-written about a Korea and Vietnam vet. A real bad ass to boot, if you like movies like Hamburger Hill and Platoon you might like this book. Warning, its a fucking huge ass book!

Saturday: I had to watch the kids because the wife had to work that morning so that meant no sleep. And as soon as she got home we went out of a barbq at a friends house. I was zonked but stayed on my feet the whole time. I am a bit pissed I did not get a picture of his bar, he has an awesome set up! They had 2 boys as well so the kids had fun running about all day, we even set off some fireworks. It is great having cops for friends!

Sunday: We went to my moms house, she had some things she got from a friend that were bar related. A huge beer mug, a Miller bar mirror and a Guinness mirror. I have all the makings of a bar, I am just missing the bar lol! Now, right before we got there we stopped at McDonald's to get some breakfast and look what we saw in the parking lot:

I wish I could have gotten a picture of the dude that owned this but he was a bit strange even for me. He was about 50 or so, had a mohawk, huge gauges in his ears and some freaky ass ink all over his face and head! Now when I say freaky I mean random crap all over the place, and rather colorful as well. I so wanted to take his picture but I was not up for the task of asking lol.

Here we have one of the monkeys getting into the toy chest my mom has for them at her house. I am not sure but I think the ghost of MJ might be floating close by HA!

After my moms we went home and did some home remodeling, we are now going to have the 2 kids in one room. I have to get a picture of this, we have bunk beds for them but I found them sleeping in the same bed this morning. How can something so freakin cute come from something so freakin evil ha. I will have to try and get a picture of that soon, before they get older and want nothing to do with each other.

Monday: I know Monday is not part of the weekend but I had to make note of it. I had a wardrobe malfunction! While in the potty at work my zipper busted, and I was wearing the boxers that were missing the front button and they are known for spontaneous games of peek a boo! Luckily my office is only one turn away from the potty so I was in my office in 2 shakes, closed the door and pulled out the emergency sewing kit. I am a jack of all trades but master of none. When dealing with a company that has to have the cheapest uniforms I have ever seen you have to be prepared for stuff like this. It isnt the first time I have had to do this lol. But I got my zipper all sewed up and was good to go, but when I got home I had to hem the other pants I had that had yet to be worn. Again, be prepared its the boyscout motto and one we should all live by. Well that and do not got swimming with bow-legged women.....dont ask its just something I have always been told not to do.....

Later that day we went out back to play, I am amazed that 4 kids can have so much fun with a single mud puddle.

I told them to say 'cheese' and Melissa was the only one who seemed to notice I was there lol. She is such a cute-pie but still just as evil as all the rest of them. There are 4 boys and one girl, well there is a baby girl in the mix too but she is still a baby. The roster of kids on any give night in the backyard is as follows:
Seth, Lucas, Matthew, Danny and Melissa. And sometimes you can find Allen and Devon but they are usually locked away mashing buttons on the PS3 and making penis jokes indoors somewhere.
I will be doing a review on a product I just bought, Forearm Forklifts.....and just a heads up, If you move furniture as much as I do, GET THEM!