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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Wednesday, May 31, 2006


I am blogging from home right now.....shocking I know. I just made two of the greatest motivational posters ever........

And 2)...........

To make your own click ~~~~~ > ME

Not a whole lot has been going on these past few days. Work has been extra crazy due to the fact that Monday was a holiday. But my motto stands firm on these weeks......" Poor planning on your end does not constitute an emergency on mine" It works try it sometime.

I know its HNT but I dont have anything good, I have been a bit off and lazy when I came to me soooooo look at what I found in the back of a local pizza place in my old town of Cranford NJ:

I was tempted to open it and see what was really in there but I dont think the contents would smell all that great. Exspecally in this hot ass weather we have been having....peeee-uuuuu

This post is a little lame but I am tired and I am in the middle of doing laundry and its fucking 22:12 on a Wednsday night. I dont give a shit about too much lol. Here let me show u....

Well peace out mofos, I am off to bed, and probably a little hand to gland combat with kung fu GIjoe with the kungfu grip.


Go and see my first PhotoScavangerHuntPost I want to see what kind of response I get from this. If I get enuff ppl doing it I will keep it up, soo lets see who wants to play with Honkeie lol.

Now I must thank everyone on the call out for Danielle. Blondie called out to her and few other ppl(sorry if i missed yall) made a great effort to find her. She is doing better, she was just having a real low part of her life and needed to vent a little. I am glad it was only to vent and to act. She is a friend and I would never want any harm come to anyone close to me. I hope your day is going better D when u read this. ;-)

I also hope everyone had a good holiday weekend. I did a few things.
I put my pool up, same one from last year....LookHere but here are a few pics of same pool new year:

Now this year I cut the tarp around the pool to try and keep the water that collects around the pool. Keep all the bugs away lol.

And what Memorial Day weekend would be comlete without a watermellon and me taking out my redneck butcher knife lol.

Well that is all the time I have for blogging. Work is calling, hope everyone is having a good one.
(((((((((((((((((( D ))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) We all love ya ;-)

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Does anyone know how to get ahold of Danielle? I am very bothered by what I have just read and sickened by the fact I have no way to get in contact with her. For those of you who know her I want everyone to go and read THIS. I only had her hotmail email and she usually only wrote from work but now that she isnt working there anymore they have stopped. This is a blog SOS for anyone of her old blogging buddies, if you know where to find her please let me know something....anything. I feel she was very serious about that post, I wish to help but have no way of getting to her. I dont usually do that praying thing because everytime I did things got worse, but I do hope she is ok and she did not do what she said she was going to do. She is my friend and I feel I was not able to help........Danielle if you read this please email me @ I normally do not contact ppl from the net but I would to helpd someone out. You do have friends, just reach out and we will answer.
(sorry I stole your pic but I am hoping to jar some memories)

Friday, May 26, 2006

Friday and belated HNT

I know I missed HNT, I had a meeting allllll day. 6 hours of my life that I will never get back, we are lossing our lives to our jobs one minute at a time lol. But it was not all bad, they did buy us subs for lunch which were rather good. I ate till I was about to pop and almost feel asleep with the boss was staring at me. But I am an expert at looking busy and awake lol.
But today is a sad day for my bank account, I had to take out $3,300 from my savings to pay off the credit card we used for the down payment on my new toy. It always hurts the most when you get to see the money first. I took it out in cash from our savings bank.....big bills ....and then took it to our our checking. We kept them in spereate banks for 2 reasons One: the interest rate there is the best and Two: it is kind of a pain in the ass to get there so we wont touch it haha.
Now here is my late HNT.....thanks to a clean car and my cam....

Damn my car is clean as .......well there is nothing clean in my mind so I cannt cum up with a metaphore.

And as a little reminder folks Tuesday is the day PHOTOHUNT I have some of mine ready do u?

Have a great weekend and I hope someone out there gets the 3 day weekend....Idont :-(

Now since it is Firday I just thought I would share with all one of my great manly loves......TITS. I went about looking for boobies and here is what I found. Tits isnt too nasty but it is very hetrosexual man nonsense.

1) Bigger is always better....side note...these look like my wives, but this isnt a pic of her knockers.

2) But then again....too much of a good thing is too much!

3) I love web cams haha

4) Last but not least.....I could not have said it better myself........

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Skool and Bullshit

I used to post one a day but because of skool and work it has become increasingly harder and harder to do it. I try to blog from home but that seems to be harder than blogging from work. Baby, chores and little woman are all I have time for when I get home. But I am going to try getting some blogging in at home, at least reading ohters blogs from home. I am sorry I have not commented on more of yalls but I will try to return the love. I love all that come, read and comment!
But let me bring yah up to speed on my life.
We all went to a graduation party, one of my old coworkers just graduated from nursing skool. He had a party at a local VFW with food and drink. I must thank him, he has introduced me to a new malt beverage that I am in love with. It is one of those "wine coolers" (and yes I know there is no WINE in them I just like calling them that malt beverage sounds too generic). Smirnooff makes its, its Wild Grape! Now I absolutly love grape soda and it is like grape soda with great side effect.......drunk-in-ness! I had too much to drink which was just enuff, but I behaved myself like a judge on the bench. There were allot of ppl there that I see everyday at work and I could not let them see my drunken colors. The baby had a ball, he spent more time on the dance floor than anyone else. Here we have him with his new found friends. He was all over that little girl in the purple, she was the youngest daughter of the party boy( He has 4 girls.....poor man).

Was clean up day. We cleaned up the wives car in and out. She needs allot body work, but just minor stuff no rust but enuff to be an eye soar. Here we have little woman and little man doing the windows and test the springs in the seats. And on the right you can see my new car :-D. We did not get to clean that one because of the weather. Never fails, wash your car then it rains. But it wasnt to bad, I was even able to BarBq the same day. I can grill in snow, sleeth and the rain. I am man muahahahahahahahaah.

Not much happened here but the baby is now becoming more and more computer savy. The wife unit put on Playhouse Disney for the little man and sent him on his way. He had to have been in the same spot for over an hour. Now for those of you who know about 3 year old children, any child that can sit in one spot for an hour is either sick, sleeping or hypnotized. And lets just say he was wide awake and in good health haha.

And also thanks to the computer I can now introduce my kids to the love of shows when I was young. I gave them all a taste with one of the classics......."The Great Cornholio" -Beavis and Butthead-
It was new to the baby but the oldest knew of them, the last movie came out while he was just a baby. So he knows of the joy of B and B. But after seeing it once here is what came of the little man:

I took the day off so I could get some college stuff done. It took me 3 hours to register just one class! But when it was all said and done I was $550 lighter and all registered up. I washed my car and even hit the gym.
Now its Wendsday and Hump Day is in full swing, I am sooo hoping this weekend is a nice one. A little R&R is always needed.
And speaking of that---------HAPPY HUMP DAY!

Thursday, May 18, 2006

I got Tagged!

I got tagged by Cherry so lets get it on........

I am .....half erect most of the day.

I is as much of a learning institute as a strip club is a ballet.

I want....taco bell!(sssshhhh I am on a diet haha)

I wish......I could win the lottery

I hate....single ply toliet paper

I miss....high school.

I fear.....I will someday have to grow up.

I hear.....that President Bush likes to give rim jobs.

I does the cream get in the twinkie.

I regret.....I cannt please everyone all at once.

I am not....superman

I dance....only after 12 beers

I sing.....only after 15 beers

I cry .....after the 16th beer

I am not always...responsible for my actions.

I made....dodo this morning

I my journal with pencil only.

I confuse.....strangers by smiling.

I have sex more often

I should....take college a little more seriously.

I day with my cell phone alarm clock

I shaking 5-10 times before I zip up.

I know....I am dead sexy, to sexy for my shirt.....

I manual transmission :-D

I lentils, damn dirty hippie food!

I see...the world with my eyes crossed.

I blog....about everything and anything

I read.....too many blogs and not enuff books lol.

I am aroused by......thigh highs and big butts

Can I meet your mommy?

It pissed me off......whenever I see ppl taking on their phone and driving.

I find....plump women hot!

I put hot sauce on everything

I family

I tag:

I know today is HNT and I do not have anything to add so I will try to get one later on. Try to stop by tommorow and maybe, just maybe I will put in a late HNT post.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006

Hello again from the wild world of the Jersey white man. Not much going on as of yet. Lots of rain though. Above we have a hottie in the reflection of his new ride, I am da bomb-diggitie-bomb!
And yes that is an Alabama tee, just in case u cannt read backwards haha. I am just a little bored with not much to say. Funny, everytime I say that I have a huge rant about something completely pointless haha. But so far I so good.

With the ever rising gas( It is at $3 a gallon here) I thought I would share this little photo I found a while ago. It is a bit dated but it still holds some humor and horror. "No blood for oil" But we have spilled the blood, now I want that damn oil! Fuck me for not carring to much about the rich oil lords, does anyone remeber the good old days of rape, pillage and plunder. The spoils of war damn it!

As anyone can see I am at a lost for words as to what I want to say. Damn it I hate when drama hits but it sure makes for a good blog. Women would not watch soaps if there was a void in the drama, and drama makes the day go by as well. But I am all tapped out for the moment ppl. I hope everyone is having a good day. And I also hope that one of my blogger friends, Danielle, is doing ok. She is having a hell of a time with work and life I just hope u are doing well. Here is a big blogger hug from me ((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Danielle)))))))))))))))))))))))))))).

Peace out Yall!

Monday, May 15, 2006

Yeah Monday....

I want to wish every mother out there a Be-lated Happy Mothers day. I hope all of you MILF had a good day and everyone got themselves a little something special ;-).
I will now go through my weekend in reverse, got to build it up to Saturday. The big news in my life occured here goes:

We went to my moms house for a Happy Mothers Day breakfast, and my grand mom was up from Alabama as well. We had egss, blue berry pancakes, bacon flavored sauges, and coffee. I love breakfast food! We had a good morning there and the baby found a new hidding place.

I just thought it was a foot rest, the little man was sitting on it watching tv and then all of a sudden I hear " Dadda, Dadda". I look around and did not see anything but I heard him, then I look over the couch and there he was laughing his little head off. What a clown.
From there we went to get some free water from the spring they have out there, then we took a wander into the rose garden. It was not in bloom yet but it was still a nice walk in the park. Here we have the wife unit and little man looking at the fish and frogs in this little pond they had out there. He kept calling out to the frog and I swear it sounded like he was say, " Oh look, at the fuck!" But it was "frog" and not "fuck" lol.

Now from there we went to Home Depo and picked up her moms day present. She wanted plants and flowers. We bought 2 bags of stinky dirt and a bunch of flowers whose names I dont remeber or ever knew. Remeber I am not as fruity as one would think. But I did cringe at the idea of getting dirty under my nails. I must have washed my hands 40 times by the time we finished.

It is kinda hard to see it becasue the plants are so small right now but give them a few weeks and I think we will have some full bush on our lawn. HaHa, I just noticed I said ' hard' and 'full bush' all in one sentence and it had nothing to do with sex HaHa!

Close up of where these ugly ass pine tree things used to be. Now thanks to the wife units efforts we now look landscaped as a motherfucker!

This was the day of days for this redneck! I am now the proud owner of my first NEW, NEW car! It is a Toyota Matrix. I got it in manual , you know stick haha. The little woman is a little put off by this but I think she will do fine learning how to do it. Hell she will probably be better at it than me in the end. But it is something new to her and she is a bit nervous about it.
But I love it. We spent about 5 hours at the dealer on Saturday. I test drove 3 cars and the moment I drove this one I knew I wanted this one. In the end it came to a little over 17 G's, not bad. Now that wil translate into 72 months at $343, I love how they use months and not years. Months seem to make it feel better.......72 months not bad verses......6 years! Fuck me! But it is still the same amount of time, it just doesnt seem to hurt as much.
So after signing my soul and a couple of organs away I drove home with my FIRST NEW CAR. I am soo excited I am at half salute most of the day. And yes I have stalled out so many times it is embarasing lol. I am a bit rusty but I will be a pro in no time. I did not get any of the fancy options because I hate putting things on a car that are just pointless. A rear is that for anyway? Downdraft?? Well last I looked I am not in NASSCAR and could careless about that, leather seat.....Leather looks nice but it is not very practical; in the summer you give your balls first degree burns everytime you sit down and in the winter its frost bite. Body kit for the more sporty look; again I am not interested in racing my car. With gas at 3$ a gallon, you want to race-go fuck yourself and leave me alone. These guys were really pushing the bigger and faster engine. I am guessing the younger crowd really likes that they have the 0-60 in 4 seconds engine. Just in case they have to show the other guys out there just how fast they can fuck up thier cars.
" Hey (insert local slang greeting to your boy) I bet I can rap my car around the telephone pole down there faster than you can!"
But hey, if that makes u happy more power to you. But for my needs, I need space for 2 little ones and one older kid. That is what I got, and I am very happy with it.
So here you have the first pic of many to come. Its my new car so I think I will be washing, cleaning and babing it for about 3 months until it get its first stratch and dent then it will be just my car. No biggie lol. We all know how it goes with anything new, so for now this is my new toy and I want to play with it everyday I can :-D

(Notice the evil dodge infront of it, its dead still but I hope to get it fixed up enuff to unload it for at least some cash. Got to put some money back in my saving. haha)

And just one more time HAPPY MOTHERS DAY. Here is the MILF I wished a happy one on this happy day. I hope yalls was as nice or better.

Friday, May 12, 2006

Its Friday and I am assed out!

I have been working doubles all week and by Saturday I will have worked 80 hours. You see here at my job if you want a day off but do not want to loose the hours we switch with each other. Last December a coworker of mine worked 4 days for me and now its pay back. And they are always a bitch! But it is all good I got a vacation out of it and he is getting one as well. He went to Florida for 2 weeks and he told me if he finds me a good switch blade he would bring it back. I have a really nice one, made in Italy and everything. You cannt by them here in NJ so I have to go through all kinds of routes to get one. They are illegal here in NJ but I never take it out of my house, it is the coolest letter opener I have ever seen haha.
I took my final last night, which ment I had to have the 3 rd shift guy come in early. Not wanting to loose the time I told him I would come in early for him. So I have been here since 0300 this morning and will not be leaving until 2300hrs tonight. So that is 20 hours at work! Damn that is depressing as all hell lol.
But to raise my spirits I went out and looked up some funnies. So today I will share a few of my Friday Funnies with yall:

1) Ass-spackle is a must in some jobs

3) This needs no intro or definition......

3) My kinda girl! No doubt in my mind what I would hit dat two times....if I wasnt married of course ;-).

4) I am all for the male bonding thing but this looks like the pemier to a gay teen sex here.

5) Now doesnt this look like fun?????

6) You know I have season passes right? And right next store we have Honkeie Land and Klan Kountry Buffet. Its an all u can eat stuff your face full of white mans best dishes, all come with a side of mayo.

If you are curiuos I am near mad with fatigue, insanity run deep during these hours. But its all good.
These pictures come thanks to this site called its is some new search engine with a twist. If you are interested take a look, I use it all the time now. I looked up the word "carck" and these are some of the pictures I found.
Well happy Friday peoples, I am off to do some work. Keep them cameras around at all times I love to see some pics ....

Thursday, May 11, 2006

Happy HNT Thursday

This is a post that was inspired by my son, the oldest. We were playing around and I asked the oldest to take a picture of a space man with a butt-face. He was laughing so hard I am suprised it came out at all. Now you must know my son thinks anything to do with the butt is just too funny. Farting and mooning should be a college major, he would have a master by the time he hits the teen years.(And of course I am the grand poop-ba of all ass jokes ) I know when the wife unit see this she will probably hit me in the back of the head but I had to do it. And it was well worth it, and besides there was no one else there....I think.

There u have it folks, the first and only Honkeie ass-tronaught! I will be the first man to land on(in) youranus. And who ever said museums are boring have never gone to one with me and been assed to leave. Artist know you will try and touch nude statues boobies and whoohoo's why do u think they carved them like that? Hell if they did a black light test on some of them they probably could find some real Davencie (dna) Code on the back side of some of them.

And just a reminder that the end of the month I will posting a new list of things to hunt for with your digital cameras and as well as my first contrabution to my new game. If you dont know what, how, whenor what take a look at the side bar an look for the little red box. At the last Tuesday of this month I will post my finding. If anyone has any good ideas for the next list of things to find send me an email :
Happy Hunting!

And just for shits and giggles, a MOMENT OF ZEN for the last day before friday:

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

I am certified....

I am again certified to give mouth to mouth to passed out strangers. I think the best way to find out if someone is really concious is to stick a finger in their ass but the red cross seems to think other wise. I mean hell, no one can fake it when someone stickers something up your baloon knot. And it can also double as a place to check the pulse. Not that I know anything about being able to find a pulse in someones brown eye.
Now thanks to Little Oral Anne I can proudly say I am certified to breath life into unsuspecting coeds. What a life , I will tell you haha. I can also put electro shock thingies on their nipples and shock the shit out of them if they come to. Man, I should be a parametic.

Here we have some of the ppl in my class showing the proper way to use a face condom when trying to breath life into one of the ugliest sex dolls I have ever seen. I, personally, blow until there was nothing left in me to blow but I could not get any satisfaction. And the mouth hole, in my opion, was a bit small to really have any fun with anyway.

Our instructor was trying to get us in time with each other in our counting, titty compressions and mouth to mouth. This is a bad place for someone who is has 2 left hands. I am still curious as to how to do cpr on really fat ppl like the one ton man. I think at that point jumping on his chest might be in order.

After about 5 hours I took this test they could have given me the moment I got there and passed. I was so simple it made me think a little, any jack ass could pass this. And this is what says you are or are not qualified to save a life, very sad. But then again it was allot of common sense stuff and if you have common sense you could probably figure out what to do anyway.

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Monday again....(but its really Tuesday)

It was a very good weekend- laid out in the sun, went to a lazer light show set to the music of Led Zepplin, had a cook out and got drunk. AAAHHH life can be good at times haha.
The light show was at this college in west bumble fuck NJ (Raritan Valley College to be exact). I have never been to one so I was not sure what to exspect.
We got there a little early because I had no idea how long it was going to take us to get there. They had a little musem to the stars so we wander around there for a few to waist some time.

Here we have my oldest showing us what being high on space looks like. Now we were the only ones here so we just ran amuch all over the place. I have a funny HNT for you all so come back Thursday to see what I did with the help of my son. I am teaching him well in the ways of redneck humor lol.

Here we have the device that makes the light and lazers for the show. I looks really strange, I am not sure what it looks like by my oldest told me it looks like he is missing a nut just like Hitler. Now I have no idea where he got that from but I did ask and he told me that on the Discovery channel he was watching a special on WWII and they said Hitler was rumored to only having one tesicle. Just in case I have never mentioned it, this boy loves war stuff and guns. I am not suprised but it does un-nerve the little woman a bit. But I have no fear, I was the same way and besides he is a gentle little guy.

Here I got a picture of Your-Anus. I wanted to touch Your-Anus but they would not let me, they said it was to far away and even if I could the tempature and gasses would kill me. Lucky for me it was behind glass.

Here we have the tunnel that lead to the light show. Not sure what they were going for, it need something more to give it more of a space feel. Maybe some ligths that went around the tube, maybe some mirrors, or maybe some portals with little aliens in it. Something, it needed something.

Of course I could not take pictures during the show so this is the last one I took before it began. The show was actually done very well. I was wondering where all the stoners were, then in they stumbled. 4 or 5 college guys bombed out of their minds. They did make any trouble but they did smell really bad and during the whole show all they said was "Woooo, ah man this is cool wooooh" I must admit if I was not driving and had the little monsters with me I probably would have love to join them.
It was strange listening to this music in such a white washed venue. This was music that (I believe) came about during the great acid wave of the 70's. I have known a few die hard Zepplin fans and they are very much burned out as in Cheech and Chong burn out. And here we all are, a bunch of (the ugliest i have ever seen) soccer moms, den leader fathers and boyscout kiddies watching a light show set to this music. And hell Robert Plant and the guys were a wild buch once apon a time, they even bought the haunted masion of Aleister Crowley. I if you dont know who he was click on the link and go have a fun read. To make a long story short on his life he was a rich brat who rebled agaist his parents by going into the occult and became known as some kinda of leader in Magic and Witchcraft.**cough cough** bullshit**cough cough** Sorry I think I swallowed something.
Led Zepplin was and will always be great party and stoner music. But maybe this is a great way to introduce the next generation to the olden days when mom and dad were still cool and willing to have sex with each other.

I know it is now Tuesday and this is my Monday post, I have a cold and work is busy. So fuck me for being lazy hahahahahaha. I am not sure if I have shared this pic or not, the medicine I am on keeps me from thinking to straight but this is how I feel about my old Dodge: