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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Blogging from home...

Holy hopping hell I am blogging from home because my new duties at work have killed all of my mindless surfing. Between using their resources to get a degree online and the actual work they want from me now my internet usage has almost become the sense of mature and not XXX. Which is my norm but not lately.
Even at home I do not troll as much smut as i used to. I don't even have time to show my trouser snake who's the boss anymore. It also doesnt help that the computer is in the living room. Having a tug of war with my ham wallet during family tv time isnt really exceptable behavior in any society.
But in honor of my duties I went and looked up 'DooDie' to show my love of work....

1) My new slogan!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

2) I love white teeshirts....
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

3) He is one doodie dont mess!
Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

I missed making note of what happened to me this weekend. Now I learned somthing about what to do before something to get your self ready. If you watch the workout channel before hitting the gym the workouts become better. Watch a movie about boxing and you suddenly become a boxer, not a very good one but a boxer never the less. You look at a little porn before running over to your girls place for a booty call and you might set her cooter on fire from friction.
Now all of these are good ideas, but I made a little booboo in this area. We went to a birthday party on Saturday and I have been watching Beer Fest for the past few days to say the least I was psyched about drinking.

Great ass movie, if you like drinking. But like I said I was totaly pumped to pound them down. I was putting them away with gusto that would have scared an Irishman on a bender. Nothing bad happened, my pants stayed on the whole night, I talked anyones ear off that would listen and the wife was a little pissed about me being pissed.
I dont know, I get around beer and I become a fucking gold fish. i wont stop until its gone or I am gone. I did not vomit or break anything but my slurring and babbling was a bit over whelming even for me. But all was good, I did not even have a hang over. I dont get them often, lucky me.
But this proves how suggestable I am, show me titties I get a boner, show me beer I get a boner, show me a flower I get a boner. Men are the simpelest creatures on the planet.

I know its still Tuesday but dog only knows when i will be on next, so have a Happy Hump Day. The weekend will be here before you know it!

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Wednesday, July 25, 2007

My first Hump Day post in a while


I found this in photobucket when looking up 'hump day' and could not stop laughing at it. It even looks like he has his paws are around the Pink Panthers neck. Grind away my doggie sex offender, grind away!

Well we have been in our place now for almost 4 weeks and we could not be happier. We are still trying to get organized and I am still in ah(sp) of how much SHIT we have. I saw this show the other day where these people come to your house and help you get rid of your clutter. I am in shock to the level of shit these people have in their houses.

I know the longer we live the more we collect and it is easy to get buried by your memories. I do not want to be one of those weird old people that refuse to throw away things because it has a memory attached to it. Now, I know there are somethings we feel very strongly about and maybe it does have some personal value. But when you keep a shit Oldsmobile in your drive way for 3 years, undriven, because your grandmother gave it to you.....come on. This was ridiculous! This grown man was having a titty because they were going to sell this giant paper weight that was darking his driveway. These things are nothing but that, things. My mom told me some years ago not to buy her anymore dust collectors for any reason. Needless to say buying my mom anything for birthdays and chirstmass and mothers day is a real chore. But I know where she is coming from. And as I go through my stuff I realize I am on my way to being just like these people. Comic books from my youth, collectables and memory boxes full of stuff. I am giving myself a time period of one year to get these memory boxes into an album or I am going to just chuck it. If it means that much to me I had better get cracking. An album (re-arrange those letter a little and you get 'anal bum' haha) takes less space than a box does and it is easier to look through and relive the old days. Rather than have boxes and boxes full of old movie tickets, concert stubs, guitar pics and other life collections.

Our shit closet is almost filled, and I know we are not yet settled, but the moment I get a moment I am going to go through this closet hell bent of throwing most of it away. One rule I can go by, if you have not used it in a year the odds are you are not. How many people out there have exercise equipment that they are 'going' to use, that has turned into a towel rack? Yes it cost a pretty penny when you bought it but get real, it is time to let it go. I have a few things that I keep saying I am going to use. And if i have not used them by the time I get to this closet, it will be on ebay for $5 or out on the curb on big garbage day.

And now with our new HP computer I am going to start shipping shit out on ebay. I am not even going to ask alot of money, I see so many peopel at garage sells and ebay trying to get top dollar for used shit. I am sorry, a bowflex might have set you back a few G's back when you bought it but it is now .....What 4 years old, the seats are worn from all the wet towels you laid on it, the pullies have dry rotted because it was used to dry beef jerky and the leg extention smells funny from the numerous times your dog thought it looked like a female hump toy. And to be honest I would probably take it off your hands for a good price but there is no way in hell I would pay top dollar for it. Good conditon is good and fair conditon is fair, these tiles are not 'Never used, still in the box, never been opened' condition. People always have high hopes when it comes to selling their own stuff but lets get real, its used shit you dont want. And most people looking on ebay know this. I troll through once in while and look, hell this is where I got my washer and dryer. They are in near perfect condition, used and working. I paid noooo where near out of the box price, and I did have to travel to pick them up. But it was well worth the pain.

I am now off to work like a mad man! I ton of shit to do and only have 14 hours to do it in!

(good god this is hot!)

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

I am a bad Blogger

Between all that has beeen going on I have not even looked at a blog in almost 2 weeks. Bad me, I should always make time for my net friends. Bad me, paddle my ass and call me Suize!

But there is not much I can do about it really. Between work, school, babies, unpacking and masterbating I cum up a little short on time for blogging. But I think once I get a handle on things I will be back to my normal slacking self.

Since my last entry we have been to 2 birthday parties, NYC, bought a new HP computer, restarted up at the gym again, unpacked some boxes and drank countless cans of beer. Like always I am limited on time so I am just going to throw up some of the pictures I have been slacking off on getting out of my camera. Luckily it is digital and not rolls apon rolls of film. I hate having rolls of undeveloped film sitting around the house.

We went to the inlaws and went swimming, the baby got lucky, he has his own pool that he can pee in. And while there he finds out what that extra finger is for.

We went to a birthday pary for one of my wifes old co-workers. Mr. NoNo's was all over the girlie action. I think by the end of the day he had 4 phone numbers, 1 girl on the chirp(nextel walkie talkie thingy), 1 email and at least 6 myspace invites. He is like a dog chasing cars, he knows he wants it but would have no idea what to do with it once he catches it.

Can you guess how old the birthday girl was?

Now, I won tickets thanks to the New York Post to go to the Bodies Exhibition, if you have no idea what this is click the link and have a look. I also got a limo ride to and from the exhibition, $100 buck to the South Street Mall and $100 to the resturant call 'RED'
Here we have me going in style, damn I am sexy in a limo!

They would not allow us to take pictures while in the museum for some strange reason. I did sneak a few on a cell phone but they came out really crappy. I was somewhat pissed about that but oh well, what are you going to do? The exhibit was great.....if you like seeing the human body in different levels of disection and dismemberment. Most of the bodies were not behind glass so they were up close and personal with the flesh. And yes these where living people once upon a time.
Now after our date with humanity we went and tried to eat $100 worth of food at this tex-mex theme resturant. With this brush with internal organs one might think 'How can you eat after that?' I can eat after swimming in a pool of shit, so this wa no big deal to me. I ordered a pitcher of beer @ 22 bucks, and food like I just got off a deserted island! And since the wife doesnt like beer I got the whole thing to myself haha!
Here we have the wife unit trying to decide what she wants. She is not a big tex-mex fan but there are a few things on there she found that did not remind her of human flesh and brain matter.

After eating we went shopping and bought a few house hold items at Sharper Imagine at the mall. Never sharpen stake knives and a stainless steel money counter. No house hold should be without one.
I thought the day need some spice so I called the Ghostbusters.

But look what I got. What kind of spooks are this wacko-matics going to suck into those little boxes? They do not look equiped to fight spectors and monsters, hell I hope they dont start shooting themselves in a panic and then reload and keep firing.

This guy was not in the shape I would have exspected a swat team member being in. I am pretty sure you could take him down just by untieing his boots and running like hell. And just in case anyone is wondering, this was the same day that the steam pipe broke and this was when they still thought it might have been a terrorist attack.

To unwind this stressfull past 2 weeks I invited an old friend over for some beer and pizza. I bought a12 pack of Natural Ice for $6, I was broke. And I was not about to invite someone over with no beer in the fridge.

I had 2 left over the next day so I broke the cherry on this beer mug a friend of mine gave me. It hold exactly 2 cars of beer. I love it and so did my liver! And yes I have an expresso/cappocino machine, I like my coffee strong and black....just like my....ummm....well never mind that one. I still remeber what happened to Imus, and lets just say I not touch jokes in poor taste. Freedom of speech could only apply if I owned this blog.

I am now off to do what I do. I am going to try and keep my blogging up to more than once every 2 fucking weeks. That is sad! I am going to aim for once a week and try to up it from there.
Have a happy Tuesday, it isnt Monday so thats always a plus.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

It has finally happened....

Well for one I have broken my 3rd threshold of tens. First I turned 11 and broke through the year 10, good times. Then I hit 21 ripping the 20th a new, more good times. And now I busted the hymen of the 30's, more good times to cum. As of Monday I am offically 31 and to mark the day as another day I have done something manly. I have successfully hooked up our washer and dyer. Gas dryer to boot hahah, take that 60bucks an hour plummer. Yes it took me 2 trips to the hardware store and I bruised my knuckle on the concret floor but I am man and I am victorious.

My first manly thing was about 2 weeks ago when I changed my own oil in my new car. I did it in my old car but I had help, but this time I went all Han Solo! And yes I got a few burn marks on me, oil all over me and it took me a while to relaize I had been turning the nut the wrong way ( lefty loosy righty tighty failed me) but in the end I stood up Captain Morgan style and celebrated! By exfoliationg my hands and scrubing the shit out of myself to get the nasties away but, but I was manly for a second.

We are moved into our new home, some what and getting used to the silence. But there is nothing better than the feeling of coming home and knowing that you are in your own home. And that you can walk around naked and no one will care. When the doors are closed and the window blinds down we are all a family of nudiest, but I do put down a towle when I sit on the couch-ass sweat is just nasty.

Work and skool are not working as one anymore. Work has become even more challenging so doing skool work at work is almost impossible now. But I do sneak it in, I have to it is the only place I have that is quiet. Along with more money comes more work, just as well but I now have to find new time for skool.

I know I am rambling but my time is limited and I have to get it all out fast, like having the green apple splatters during a marathon race. Just got to get it out fast and hit the ground running.

I won a day out in NYC thanks to the New York Post, I will be going out to the Body Expo show at some museum I have for gotten about. I am not even sure about the name of the show, but I won and I am getting a limo roide out there, spending money, vip passes to the show and dinner on their dime. Fuck yeah I am that good. And yes I will have pictures, after the 18th that is when I reap my rewards haha.

Now I am off the do battle with work. Happy Hump day people and herer are couple of humday inspired pics:
1) Joe Camels lucky day
2) Hmmmmm chubby chicks!
3) This has nothing to do with 'Humpday' I just thought it was interesting.

Monday, July 02, 2007

Monday? Sunday? Fuck if I Know....

Monday again and I am rather tired. I am glad to be back at work so I can get some rest from this weekend of moving. Ah
I have been so buisy that I cannt eve cum up with something to blogg about. I have not had my camera handy at all. I should be taking pictures of this mess but having to lift one more thing for any other purpose is going to kill me.

So I thought I would put up a few things that have me smiling at the office at the moment.

1) I dont know what the fuck this has to do with moving but I looked up pictures having to do with 'Moving' and this is what I found.

2) I went and goggled pictures of 'back pain' again on the topic of moving and this is what came out. Isnt she sexy!

3) Like I said I have not taken any pictures but this is just about what they would look like right about now.

4) I have been a little stressed so I went and looked up boobies again. I know tits not Friday but who gives a turd. There is no need to wait unitl Firday to show some love to mans breast friend.

5) Life jacket? Hell I really think that is a little over kill for her.

6) All men need a little tit now and again.

7) Hmmmmmm nuff said. Admire from a-far.

8) And here is an old pic that makes smile everytime I see it. The wife and her dirty pillows and Mr.NoNo's giving us his best " I am not listening" face ever.

I know it isnt Monday but in this head space no one would ever know what day it is anyway. Just shows how long it takes for me to get this shit out.