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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Blogging from home...

Holy hopping hell I am blogging from home because my new duties at work have killed all of my mindless surfing. Between using their resources to get a degree online and the actual work they want from me now my internet usage has almost become the sense of mature and not XXX. Which is my norm but not lately.
Even at home I do not troll as much smut as i used to. I don't even have time to show my trouser snake who's the boss anymore. It also doesnt help that the computer is in the living room. Having a tug of war with my ham wallet during family tv time isnt really exceptable behavior in any society.
But in honor of my duties I went and looked up 'DooDie' to show my love of work....

1) My new slogan!
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2) I love white teeshirts....
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3) He is one doodie dont mess!
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I missed making note of what happened to me this weekend. Now I learned somthing about what to do before something to get your self ready. If you watch the workout channel before hitting the gym the workouts become better. Watch a movie about boxing and you suddenly become a boxer, not a very good one but a boxer never the less. You look at a little porn before running over to your girls place for a booty call and you might set her cooter on fire from friction.
Now all of these are good ideas, but I made a little booboo in this area. We went to a birthday party on Saturday and I have been watching Beer Fest for the past few days to say the least I was psyched about drinking.

Great ass movie, if you like drinking. But like I said I was totaly pumped to pound them down. I was putting them away with gusto that would have scared an Irishman on a bender. Nothing bad happened, my pants stayed on the whole night, I talked anyones ear off that would listen and the wife was a little pissed about me being pissed.
I dont know, I get around beer and I become a fucking gold fish. i wont stop until its gone or I am gone. I did not vomit or break anything but my slurring and babbling was a bit over whelming even for me. But all was good, I did not even have a hang over. I dont get them often, lucky me.
But this proves how suggestable I am, show me titties I get a boner, show me beer I get a boner, show me a flower I get a boner. Men are the simpelest creatures on the planet.

I know its still Tuesday but dog only knows when i will be on next, so have a Happy Hump Day. The weekend will be here before you know it!

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morbid misanthrope said...

Ham wallet? Genius! I've never heard that one before. I must be slipping in my old age.

Cherish the drinking, dude. I had to watch Beerfest sober. My internal organs are such quitters.

phishez_rule said...

Hmm. Drunk men get boners. Very interesting.

honkeie2 said...

morbid: it always sucks when our organs cannt keep up with us.

phishez: When I get drunk I am nothing but a walking boner hah.

Jenny! said...

Beerfest was a decent movie! Drunk boners are the best! That sucks that you can;t puruse the porn while the children watch TV...terribley depressing!

honkeie2 said...

jenny: I perfer sober boners. Drunk sex just gones on forever and when the momment of truth comes...BamB nothing, I know it happened but i did not feel anything. drunken orgazims arent for me lol.

Anonymous said...

I"ve heard that as well - that when the guy is drunk he can go on for ages but the orgasm bit isn't anything.

Ham wallet? Nice! very classy :)

I read about a guy that called his wife's labia her 'meat curtains'.

what IS IT with processed meats and genitals?

Jenny! said...

Well your not a female!

honkeie2 said...

betty: men like to name things with manly undertones. And there is nothing more manly than MEAT! And yes I have heard of meat curtains before, I have also heard it refured to as rare roast beef.

jenny: No I am not but I can do a great Silence of the Lambs man-gina haha

Samantha said...

I have to disagree with drunk men getting boners. Mostly they tell me they luff me, burp, fall over and fall asleep :D

Carie said...

someday I will have to get drunk just to know what its like lol...and Ken is like you, everything makes hima a happy man lol

honkeie2 said...

samantha: alcohol does usually put me to sleep but once the beast from below awakes its all over!

carie: you are a drunkard virgin...ohhhh to many nasty thoughts to list lol