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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

Post Holiday Review, Step One:

The Wife's Holiday Work Party

The day of her annual Christmas party fell on the same day I had to give an oral presentation in my international business class, and I could not skip was 40% of my grade! But the professor said I could leave as soon as I done.

So, soon as I clicked on the last slide of my PowerPoint presentation I was out the door! Flying up the Parkway at speeds I will not mention and doing some maneuvers that would have given any NASCAR fan a woody. I made it in record time, I even made it in before they took all the awesome food away. I only had one shot, no seconds so that plate was loaded! We all had a blast and as usual the holiday party was great.....but one side effect of all this holiday greatness is that I have gained major weight. And starting last night I am going to war with my gutt, my lack of will power and my missing motivation. I have only 5 months to get back into shape....I am not going into the summer of the last year the earth has out of shape. You know the world is coming to an end in 2012 right?

I am back to where I started....AGAIN....but hey at least I have something to bitch about now hahaha. But looking back I sure had a blast putting on the weight, and now its time to pay the piper lol. Now lets get on with those pictures I took that day:

1) Here we have the wife unit getting ready, hot as usual. Side note: Her boobies where the talk of the night. She does have wonderful assets and huge......tracks of land!

2) Here we have her old boss Marta and the big boss...whose name I cannot remember, I think it's John. He is a great guy, he came to Atlantic City with all of us with a drink in his hand. Now that is a boss. Side note: She has wonderful posture doesn't she?

3) Who doesn't love some girl on girl love? I know I do lol. That is Monica dancing with the wife, another person from the cool kids at the job.

4) Here is another boss, Joe I think....he is her direct boss at the location she works at, another great guy. He just had a new baby...well his wife had the baby but he did help get it started lol

5) The wife and Jill, they have been working side by side for the past month or so trying to clean up a location that needs.....some help. I cannot go into detail but let me just say we are all adults and know what has to get done in the grown up world. So just do it, no one should have to tell you what your job is these days.

6) And sure enough that is me being me. Side note: She let me do this so I did not get smacked for this one lol

7) I had just sat down with my food when we had this one taken, notice the fork is all set to start the shoveling! Does anyone else think I look like Tom Green here?

8) Forgive me but I cannot remember her name, I am sooo bad with names and I always feel bad when they call me by mine and I cannot return with theirs. But she is another part of the cool kids that sit at the back of the bus....because we all know only the cool kids get to sit there lol.

I will be doing a Christmas post soon, probably tomorrow. I do not want to do all my blogging in one day, since school is out I have had to do actual work at work! I now have to time to goof off on a massive scale.....I mean hell I got to work at 0600hrs and took a nap until 0930! How awesome is that?

Up Coming post:
1) Xmass in Review
2) The 2010 Snow Blast (NJ got nailed with a shit-load of snow yesterday and I am sooo going to bitch and blog about it lol)

Wednesday, December 08, 2010

My Trip To The Sex Museum

Last semester I had to go into the city to do a paper on a statue, very classy stuff. But this time I had to do another paper along the same lines, but this one was more of the 'Titties and Beer' kind of paper.

Well, me and some of my classmates got together and went to the Sex Museum in NYC. And yes it is real, here is a link to some information on it.....Museum of Sex.....I would have put the actual web site but at work it keeps coming up as 'Porn' lol

The museum started off with the gift shop with all kinds of toys and devices anyone....or anything could ever want. And I say 'anything' because they had a sex doll for dogs, and just for $650 you can cure your dog of ever wanting to hump your leg. And cure you ever showing your face in public after your friends FaceBook pictures of this thing in your house!

They also had way over priced tee shirts with funny saying and pictures. Because who doesn't find the topic of sex funny? If it was not for the fact sex felt good it would be laughable!

There where lots of exhibits on everything from fetishes, to the history STD's and prevention. I personally loved the old condom ads from way back in the day. Who knew people where having sex back then?!?!

This one display of the living sex dolls is one for the books.....'For just $6,000 you can have a life size sex doll that is as close to the real thing as one can get without the fear of pimps, jail, marriage or crabs!'

And how could they possibly have a museum of sex without a section on the porn industry? I mean hell that is why the Internet is so vast and powerful after all!

I loved the safe sex posters and advertisements they had up, I wonder where they got them from? Because I never saw this ad in any magazine at the check out counter:

In all it was a fun trip, the entertainment value was much higher than when I had to do a paper on that Greek statue. But in all honesty the $16 was not worth it, yeah sex is great but I have seen better and more informative things on HBO. If you are bored and got some cash to burn go in and have a laugh, this is not something I would take a special trip just to see. This like all other attraction in NYC, it is a one shot kind of deal just to say you have been there.
Places I have been to in NYC that I will most likely never go again:

  • Empire State building....its a tall building....and.........
  • Madame Tussuad's Wax was fun but a little pricey and once you have seen it once you have seen it a million times.
  • Statue of Liberty......every American has to see it at least once!
  • Trade disrespect to anything related to 9-11 and I am glad I can say I was there, but they once were just buildings.
  • Time Square on New Years Eve.......I would go again if the temps go above, lets say 70! But been there, done that, and froze my ass off!

The Natural History Museum and Art Museum, I have been to as well but I love going there and will go back again and again. I love history and I love art and the fact they are always changing stuff around; one never knows what they might have next time around.

I love NYC and once upon a time wanted to live there, but that is a want I no longer have. I love taking little day trips here and there but that is a lifestyle I do not want, I want to de-stress these days. And NYC is all about the fast paced life of run here, run there and curse at anyone that gets in your way. Now, I am not saying I want to move the the country, I would not fit in there either. I just need a nice medium, and Jersey was once that medium but I fear I am becoming to 'Jersey Shore' for my taste.

To sum it up I would love to find a place that has some city, some country and some place to call home that allows my inner idiot to shine. I recently had a conversation about my inner idiot and found this clip that shows what he sounds like. I loved this movie when I was a kid and I think I adopted his laugh as my own.....but only during those times I am truly 'Feeling Stoopid'

Monday, December 06, 2010

This weekend:

This weekend was a very productive one, I shoe shopping with the wife to help her pick out shoes for her party dress. Yes I like going to the mall, no matter what the reason is. The wife is going to her company Xmass party without me this year, damn school and my need to pass :(

But what can one do, I have to go to class that night the teacher made that very very clear. So I might shot up there afterwards just to see her in all her glory. And to parade around the room and show her off.....'You see that hot piece of ass....yeah I hit that!'

And after only three hours of searching she found what she was looking for, and even got a nice necklace and earrings to match as well. I know most men hate the mall and all the walking around but for me its just a fun day out with the wife. I take whatever alone time I get with her :)

I mean with legs like that what red blooded straight man wouldn't right?
She even tried on another dress but she noticed it showed off the girls jussst a little too much lol:

On Sunday we had a birthday party to go to, our neighbors kid turn 5 and they had the party at the skating rink. I am not sure why but Seth and Lucas ate like there was no tomorrow. One would have thought I never gave them food the way they were putting it away, it was just too funny!

Seth spent all his token on this game, he loved being Homer. I remember playing this game back in 1994 with an old girlfriend at Seaside Heights! We spent I dont know how much but we beat the game, Jersey Fist pumping the whole time!

Just a friendly reminder to those who go out in public, I have a camera and I know where to point it lol

This is a picture of the card I got for the little girl.....I could not find any good kiddie ones so I got this one. The inside read:
'We ran into a little snag with the party entertainment on the way to the party'

And after we were all loaded on high fatty food and sugar we headed home for some cleaning, Chinese food and Xmass lights. I have to get a picture of the lights, but we are not done yet so I will probably get one later on tonight.

Friday, December 03, 2010

Backyard camping

We have been trying to get out to the great outdoors for sometime but this that and everything has stopped us. But last week we put our foot down...until the weather man called for below freezing temps and snow. And not being all that well equipped for that kind of camping we took it to the backyard:

This was more of a spring cleaning of all the stuff we have accumulated in the past 12 years. Taking stock in what we have and what we need. I now know I need a new sleeping bag, blankets and sheets are just not the same lol.
I was able to get rid of a bunch of stuff that was old, broken or missing parts. We have three tens, two of which we put up and the other has never been used. So it is safe to say that one is still good lol. The two tents worked perfectly, no rips, holes or issues with any of them. Tent test 100%

Now when camping in the backyard in urban areas you have to be careful with where you put the camp cannt have a camp site without a camp fire...duh! So we borrowed this homemade fire pit made from an old beer keg. And it worked like a charm!

And as you can see one of most entertaining things one can do while camping is finding random stuff to burn! Luckily Devon brought some old homework that had to go down in flames haha!

And as the weather man stated, it was cold even far away from the mountains it was cold. Lucas did come out for a few moments to see what we were up to. But it was just too cold for him to stay out too long.

As the night wore on we started to wonder what could we do for we came up with the idea to run a power cord and hook up the Xbox for some COD in the great outdoors. Nothing says camping in the backyard like fresh air video games!

We all slept outside in the cold, like real men. And the wife kept saying "If you catch a cold I dont want to hear it!" Well it has been 6 days since we survived the long cold night and no one has gotten sick. Just remember kids....take you vitamins, drink your milk and masturbate everyday to keep the bad germs away.

After breaking camp we organized everything and moved all the camping gear to our place. It is now packed away all set to go if we should ever have the urge to just pick up and pretend to be homeless again. We also took this time to get all of our Xmass stuff organized as well. Now that we have a place to store stuff we are getting everything organized, once everything has its place it will be easier to find.