But I can not fail to mention that this weekend we will find ourselves facing another holiday, of sorts: Fathers Day. I was not really giving it much thought until I cam across DiamonDKt's blog. I saw a previous post of his named "Dear Dad". And since June 17 is coming up I figured how appropriate. He wrote it 2006 about his dad and what his father ment to him. It is a very touching story that all men should read on how to be a father. Any man can help create life but it takes real power to be a man that can live up to the name: Father.
I grew up fatherless and even out right rejected by my brothers father and later estranged from the man who adopted me and gave me the name I carry now. I never had much of anyone I called 'dad' or anyone I looked up to. The man who adopted did his best, I think, but he made a fatal flaw: He told me to pick between him or my mom when they went through a nasty divorce. He was hard and really knew what he was taking about, most of the time, but we never clicked. He was overly educated and I loved to light things on fire with air plain glue. I do thank him for getting to read as a child and showing me that there is a real difference between the classes of people. He tried and took upon something most men probably would have never done, so he was not in all a bad guy. But never ask a child to pick between parents. My mom never told me to stop talking to him or tried to interfier with our relationship. He made his choice and so did I.
Now my brothers father was a whole different story. I thought he was my dad until I was in 5th grade ( no clue to the age ) I never caught onto the fact he had a different last name or that my brothers seemed to spend more time with him, my mom had divorced him by then. Then over a Christmass break he used me in a court battle with my mom to get soul custody of his son, not me. I did not know, it kills me to this day. Typing it out is even a struggle so sorry about the poor everything in this post. Lost of run on sentences haha.
I was mad at everyone for lieing to me but in the end I knew why they did what they did. I still dont understand why he did what he did. People really do not think about other peoples feelings before they act. It can take something small that can set someone off and this set me off. I am not sure how or what it did but I vowed to never use my children in any way like this.
I am the father of 3 wonderful sons, and I want to be the one that they write storys like DiamonDKT did. I am seperated from the oldest mom and I do not see him much. I try my best to give him what he wants and needs with the little time I have with him. It is a little easier with the other two, I live with them. But I try to give them all a little bit of me and maybe, just maybe one of them will come out better than me. I need someone to take care of my broke ass when I get old haha.
What I see through his post is that kids really do remeber they toys they got or did not get, they remeber the time spent with them. We willl miss them when they grow up and leave but that is how it goes, but love the time we have with them. Those first 12 years are probably the most important when I comes to your relationship with them. Lucky for me I got the lesson in what not to do with your kids.
I think I am done with this for the moment. I know I will probably come back to this topic but for not I think I need to go get a drink........or water. I am still at work haha.
I still do not know who my father is, I do not talk with either of the men I once called dad. I dont need anything from anyone that I cannt get myself. I have a family of my own and I hope to do right by them. Must things in life have a reason, but some of it is nothing but the practical joke called life. But no one I know is laughing at there tragedies, some wounds dont heal. Everyone that lives life to the fullest knows that. I regret nothing but the fact I will not live long enough to reek havoc on everyone on this planet.
So as you can see I am not a big advocate on Fathers Day, I do not have one. But I am one and I can write my own Happy Fathers Day. This is for all the ones who feel they father failed them. If they did then to hell with them, just be better than them and do all the things they did wrong right.
Oh yeah here is the post from DiamonDKT