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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Monday, March 19, 2007

OMFG!

It has been......11 days since I have posted last! That is the longest span of time I have ever had in my blog that was not related to a vacation. Two variables are to blame for my slack time:

1) Work: My co-worker that covers the front desk so I can hide in the back left for New Mexico. The person who sits at this post is my bread and butter to my freedom at work. So the new person they sent needed training, which is a time consuming project in itself. They gave me the new person on the day he was schedueled to leave, so I had one day to her going. That was the 9th, the following week consisted of me budgeting my time with her and my usual stuff that I have to get done. Then on top of that the government has seen it fit to make us take this new security training, but I will get into that in a minute.

2) The second thing that has killed my surfing and blogging has been my online schooling. I wont say it is hard but it is time consuming. I hope that now I have this new person trained I can goof off more but we will have to see. So far so good, she is holding her own at the moment while I am goofing off right now hahahahaha. But the online school has helped the family with the fact I am on my way to getting my degree faster and I dont have to leave home to do it. I does mean I have to use the home computer now for more than porn and funny's but at least when I am done with my work I can troll on over there lol.

But life has been going good, I am still with weight watchers. For thos of you who hate people that can loose weight fast you better stop reading for a few sentences. I have been with it now for 4 week and I have lost a total of 18 pounds......and counting! And if anyone has tried weight watchers and says it doesnt work I would say try it again and this time get anal about it.....hehehehe I said anal......It does work if you follow it to the T. I go to the meetings and hear people talk about having a bad week or a bad day, hell I have them too but I right myself for the following week or day. This is how it has been for me:
Week one- My starting weight was 222.6lbs.

Week two- Weighed in @ 216.2, I lost 6.4lbs.

Week three- Weighed in @ 207, I lost 9.2lbs. But this week I ate Taco Bell and had the shits for about 3 days. And yes I blame Taco Bell, it was the only thing I had to eat the day before I got the green apple splatters. Thank you Taco Bell hahahahahaha

Week four- Weighed in @ 210, I gained 3lbs. I knew this was going to happen though. I had a bad week, I ate at Taco Bell again.......what can I say I love that shit! And then I ate at Charlie Browns, it was a very bad week! And also I knew I would gain something back once I started eating normal food again.

Week five- 3/18/2007 I weighed in @ 204.6, Lost all that I had gained and then some. Total for that day-5.4lbs

So it does work if you follow what they tell you. What I like about them is that you dont have to buy their food like Jenny and that other one that Joe Marino has sold his soul to. All the food they use comes from the food store, they do have some prepackaged weight watchers food but its primarily snacks with low points. Like methadone for the recoving addict, just something to take the edge off lol. What I think helps me move the weight alot faster is the fact I have been excersing along with my diet. They say not to start working out until week 3 but I was not about to stop my work out for 3 weeks!
I have not been this light in a while I was almost up to 230 before I knew I had to get something going. I hope to be slim and trim by the last week of May, just in time for summer time!

Now, about that new government mandated training I mentioned before. According to new regulations anyone that is or wants to be a security guard has to be liscened by the state government. The training comes to about 300-400 smackers! It covers the test, finger printing, CPR training and back ground checks. Now.....I have been with this company now for 5 years and have been bonded by them and liscened throught them. But reguardless of what you have done in the past everyone has to go through this, the funniest thing is the finger prints. They have not change since I got them done last and the company they used is supposedly intergrated with the government. Soooooooo if that is the truth why am I doing that again, did they lose them in the email? But after pondering this for a whole second I figured out it that this is all about money in someones pockets. Lets look at the evidence to how I came up with this:
  1. Everyone has to be CPR certified again, even if you are a doctor or a paramatic you have to take this class. And pay for it.
  2. You have to take the training for the state test, which is 8 hours for 2 days. They gave us a practice test on the first day to show us what they are looking for, I missed 5 questions! 5! On material that I have never seen I passed, does anyone see a problem with that? I could not pass the bar or the test for my black seal liscense on a dry run but I can pass the state test for a flash light cop so I can get a McJob.
  3. You have to get re-finger printed at the same damn place again. Which is in the worst part of town tucked away in the back of Exxon gas refinery in Linden,NJ. But mind you like I said before my finger prints have not changed since the last time I did this with the same government agency finger printing service.
  4. The liscense is only good for the state you are in. If you move from NJ to NY you have to take it again and pay for it all over again.......does anyone else smell the money trail here?

Now, once this all done you get a liscense that says you are now certified by the state of NJ, or whatever state you do this in, to get a security guard job. The up side to this that is in my favor is that I am now personally liscened to do my job. My resume has now just jump up a notch. Now if I apply anywhere I can say I am already certified to be a want-to-be cop. You bet your as I am going to hold this over my current employeers head. The moment I get this liscense I am putting my resume out and see what comes back. Or I might wait until I have my degree, I am only a year away from my associates(sp). So far this company does not show any potential for the future, old ways of the 70's are not my style. With a degree and this faux-certification I will now be even more economically viable! I will then be the best white collar whore......selling myself to the highest bidder with the best benefits and retirement package!

While I was taking the training I kept dozing off so I did what I do best to entertain myself. I popped out the camera and I stole things. (It was held at this hotel and they were having other types of coventions at the same time, every break we got I would raid the other rooms for food and drinks)

1) The guy rubbing his eyes never stopped eating. He was this werid old guy that had some oral obsession. Once his food ran out he was drinking tea or/and coffe. And the whole time he was chewing on something, if it wasnt gum it was a straw. I was more entertained by this guy than anything said in the training.

2) To make it look like I was involved I took 'notes'. I filled about 6 pages a day with nothing but nonsense and doodles. Now when I say nonsense I mean absolute absurdity. I will get my 'notes' for a later post and type out what I wrote, or maybe I will scan them. I am soo glad he did not want to see what I writing about for 2 days. lol

3) I left little notes all over the place for people to find.



4) I snuck off to the bathroom alot, look how hapy I am!


5) Cheap bastards only paid for coffee and tea, would have killed them to set down a fruit bowl or something?


6) They kept this pitcher of water on our table, I downed about 3 myself. I was in a water drinking contest with myself......and you know what.....I lost!


7) My little notes found their way onto all surfaces, luckily they did not give us markers!


8) If you can guess what this is, you get a prize! But watch out it spits.


9) After the last day my head kept ending up in the down position. I finally laid my head on the table and stared at the carpet until I started to hallcinate. The colors, the patterns, I can almostn taste hammock.......god save the drag queen!


I have not proof read any of this, I am back off to school and work so forgive the grammatical errors. I am going to try and buget my time so that I can get atleast 3 post a week. I love "TITS FRIDAY" post so I think I will make a real effort for that one and HNT ass well.......exspecally since I no longer have that lower gut thing going hahaha.

6 comments:

guttergirl said...

Welcome back! We missed you. Great job on the WWs. I tried it a while ago and I agree, it does work if you stick with it. Keep it up..*evil grin*

Martini said...

Wow. Talk about a money-grab. Sounds similar to "emissions testing" here.

Every other year people have to have their cars tested, from 3 years old back to 1988. Funny thing is, 3 year old cars don't pollute. And the real polluters are the cars from BEFORE 1988. If you drive an '87 Mustang with staight pipes, it doesn't matter! You'll NEVER be tested! And if you fail the test you have to spend $400 trying to fix the problem, then re-take the test.

For all the cars that fail, there are a thousand more who pollute even more by sitting at the bloody drive-thru every morning waiting for their freaking coffee.

Man, sorry about that long comment. It just angers me so much. I should write a post.

Nikky said...

wow, you WW brat! I'm happy for ya, really I am...grumble grumble...

I'll be out there white collar pimping myself next year, too, but thankfully I don't have to compete against you! I'll have an assoc degree as well, but in accounting.

Hey, that little note, on the bottom or the coaster thingy... what does that say?? Can't quite read it???

Carie said...

I want to start WW I just gotta save up for it lol...I heard it works and damn since you lost so much weight it sounds good to me...

I have to go to alot of conventions and seminars every year as a special needs teacher as well as getting into speech therapy...it gets expensive and redundent...same stuff over and over again...

Glad schools going good for you...

honkeie2 said...

gutter: tits good to be back

martini: dont worry about the long comment. And we have the same thing here in the USA. My mom has a 76 stingray with straight pipes and never has to get it inspected. Here anything with "QQ" plates is considered an antique so they dont have to get the inspection thingie done.

nikki: It says 'I fart during meetings'

carie: It does work if you stick with it week in and week out. It is not an easy street but anything worth having is worth the effort.

morbid misanthrope said...

"I fart during meetings."

You should win some kind of humor award for that. Pure genius.