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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Why do whoosies buy SUV's?

The misses and me went to the mall yesterday to get some summer cloths for our up coming vacation. Not sure if I mentioned this but I do like shopping and love the mall. We ended up buying the baby a cute little man suit and me a really nice suit that will be all tailored and ready for pick up on Friday. It is now the nicest suit I own, the second best one is kinda old and needs to be altered a bit. But this is nothing to really blog about, my rant today is going to focus on why ppl buy suv's and never even come close to using them for what they are for. The commercials show them out driving in places no human should ever go alone let alone driving their brand new suv there. But in the real world these pussy ass convoy driving retards freak out whenever they hit a pot hole or get their car muddy. Mind you I would not put those skinny ass rim on my bike let alone a 2 ton beast of the interstate.
On the way home we took a back road to get home faster and was confronted with a little problem. The under pass we used had been flooded out. It was not all that bad or all that deep but my low rider would have never made it. My wife was driving her mommy-modile( Chevy Caravan) nothing like a Jeep or a Suburban but she showed those big boys what having balls ment. She gunned it through the water and at one point almost got stuck but we made it out ok. Even after we made it out all these ghetto rats with their pimmped up Escilades , Cherokees and explorers turned around. Pussies! All those ppl that drive SUV's without one piece of character on them are pussies. If you want a fucking show car keep it in your garage and masturbate on it on the weekends but don't buy a car that can take on frozen tundra and treat it like a god damn fragile old woman. I don't baby my car in the least and it has enough character for me, even though I am planning on a new paint job soon( I like my car-1994 Dodge Interpid). Nothing fancy but it is fun to drive, and I am not afraid to park near the shopping carts at Target.
So this is to you the pansy in the urban monstrosity, take that bitch off road once in a while and put those engineers to the test and see if those commercials are true. Or you could just give the keys to the kids and see what they can come up with in this concert jungle..........

18 comments:

Jenny said...

I can't remember if you read my post about driving my hubby's SUV or not---anyways, I love driving that thing around. I feel like Queen of the Road. There's these railroad tracks by my husband's work that everyone almost comes to a complete stop so they can gently cross over them. Me? I'm doing 45 and practically go airborn. I even get a little whiplash, and it always makes the boys laugh.

Jenny said...

Don't you love when people leave comments and all they do is talk about themselves? LOL

Katie said...

thats funny as hell.....i just wonder how in the hell did they get it up there....

but yes we have an suv and a van...i drive the van most of the time...but one day when the gas thing was going on around hear. i was at barn store trying to get gas. there was this pump that no1 would go to cause you could not get to it for all the cars. there was this big truck in front of me just sitting there. so a jumped the damn curb in my van a got to the pump..when i got out the guy was like. "i should have done that" NO SHIT he said he did not want to hurt his truck....pussy..thats what i think about it...

honkeie2 said...

Jenny- I hav done soo many things like that when I had my ford station wagon doing circles around these neutered asses in their huge trucks. But every so often you see a real off roader going crazy, usually in the mall parking lot in the winter lol.
I do that all the time jenny---its all about me and me some more lol.
Katie- you should have said to him "ohhhh big man in big truck, with no balls" lol

Jenny said...

I will never drive a minivan---I've already got the "housewife vibe" going when I drop my son off at school in my pj's while rockin' the bed head. I really don't need any help in that department.

It's just too final for me---like if I get a minivan, that is the end of my young adult life. It's all middle age from there (but your wife is so cute and looks YOUNG! She can pull it off ;) And Katie can pull it off, too, since she's running people and things over for gas! LOL

honkeie2 said...

I wish I had a mini van in High skool----it is the best bed on wheels...like a mobile hotel room lmao...but being a married man now I dont think in those naughty ways :-P.....i still like them, so much room and smooth as a freshly shaved ass ride.

Lo Lo Lova said...

So, how's that anger-managment class working out for you? :)

honkeie2 said...

Going good lol....anger is a strange thing to have to manage...but that is why they dont allow carry permits for guns in NJ or NYC to many angry ppl per square foot.

Danielle said...

what i tel you about your driving!!! lol

casperelli said...

I couldn't not have said it better myself. It;s like the asstards that think they can drive in the snow just cause they have an SUV or truck.... They are the first ones on the side of the road!

honkeie2 said...

I love watching ppl who have no idea how 4 wheel drive works and seeing them in the ditch by the highway lol. 4 wheel drive does not mean drive like an asshole in a blizzard it wont help you at all.

Becky said...

Great point! I love the visual I'm getting of your wife passing up all the SUV's in her mini van...hilarious.

I often wonder the same thing about SUV's...the SUV backlash is upon us!! thanks for stopping by my blog:)

honkeie2 said...

No prob Becky, I love the doggie umbrella lol. I need to get one for my mom, she has 2 shit-shoes heheheheehehehehehe I love telling ppl that lol.

Ranger Tom said...

Couldn't agree with you more... Most people who drive SUV's have no clue how to drive them properly, let alone take them off road.

I bought a 1987 Full-size Ford Bronco right after I got out of the army for the SOLE reason of actually (*GASP*) taking it OFF ROAD! Which I did regularly... I even took it from one side of Arizona to the other without touching pavement... Yes, you can actually do that...

Katie said...

see i would have said that...but when there is a time to say things like that. my mind goes blank..a little while later i will think of something good to say..

Hammy said...

I'm in total agreeance.

honkeie2 said...

ranger- I so wanted to buy an RV and go cross country when I granduated HS but some things just never worked out. I would love to do the AZ thing too....can I come next time?
Katie- I have senior momments all the time.
Hammy-I am glad we see eye to eye :-D
And ever notice how hard the word verification becomes after 3
drinks?
-try 2

Sideshow said...

Amen to this rant.