This just handed to me....
Barney has been spoted in the New Jersey area hanging around malls and day care centers. This will bring the alert color from Big Bird Yellow to PowerRanger Red! below you will see what the police artist have released as the most acurate picture of him.
He has taken two victims since his introduction to the Church of Satan. The first was the rape and murder of a stray dog found bleeding to death(from the ass) in a shipping yard in Virgina. And the second was of a young attractive red head that had soo much to live for. Her boyfriend was able to get a picture of the attack before he ran screaming like Michael Jackson at the sight of the newist Victoria Secrets catalog.
We have confirmed that he is in bed with the darkside and will be out and about. We are in dire need of help in catching this menance. If you see him or have any information on his were abouts call 911 right away. Do not try to apprehend him yourself he is considered armed and dangerous.
We tried to call on some of his old friends to see if they had any insight on to what or where this rampage has come from. We were confronted with hostility and a good many middle fingers. Grover was more than animate about it having to do with the "retarded kids on his show". Grover also told us that Barney has had a long addiction to dust and used to buy from the Big Red.
When we tried to reach the Big Red on this new turn of events we found this at his home.
Finding Big Red in such a state we took full advantage to look through his stuff and as it turns out elmo used to turn ticks to make "ends meet". But now he runs the street the only way a street wise pimp could.
He may not be a saint but the ppl on his street are safe from the evil Purple. Again we advise all ppl to stay away from all things purple, you never now it might just be the Evil One!