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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, September 02, 2005

The Prancer

Thanks to LoLo aka..muffinass I have found a name for this man I have seen at the gym and around town for the last few months. I have to paint the picture of the first time I saw "The Prancer".... so let me start this off the way all good redneck stories start.."You aint goin to believe this sheet...

Several months ago I was at the gym getting ready to sweat my brains out in this summer heat at a gym with no A/c( Thanks Bally's). And all of a sudden I hear what I thought was a woman walking into the guys locker room. "Clank clank clank" I looked up in my tighty whites half exspecting to see one, but I saw no one. My curiosity was up so I dressed with a quickness, the clanking noise had not stopped. It was as if whoever this was, was walking back and forth in the bathroom. I thought that maybe it was some kinda inspector or something checking"things" out in the mens locker room. I walked out a little and peaked around the corner and what I saw almost made me bust out laughing.

There was this guy, in womens black high heeled leather boots that went half way up his calf, tight tight nut hugging grey leggings and a tank top to match. His hair was strawberris blond combed back in a poofy looking 1950's style. He was wearing these ,again, 1950's huge cop sunglasses. He was prancing from one end of the bathroom to the other admiring himself the mirror. I did not know what to make of it but I felt like a nature watcher observing the mating ritual of the once thought exsticnt doo doo homo bird.
It was then I noticed that I left my sweat towel in my locker. Apon retreving it I saw my camera phone and thought to capture it. But I thought better of it for several reasons. Reason one: the gym has strick no camera rules and two I would not want one of these weridos taking pics of me lol. So I tip toe back to see what he was doing now. He has been too quiet. What I saw again almost floored me. He was standing in the bathroom in his tighty whiteies flexing away, as if he was standing before the IFBB judges. That is not what almost made me wet myself, it was the serious as death look on his face and his tats. He was full of random tats all over his body, it was as if he rolled in Cracker Jack prize tattos right after a bath. I saw an egale on his back, a naked woman on his thigh, a heart on his calf and so on. And let us not forget this fact: He was still wearing those sunglasses. Not to knock this werid bird too much, he did have a good build on him., much better than my build lol! Mind you his is in his late 50's. Yes I said late 50's manybe early 60's. You were think this was some young way-ward crazy from L.A, because we all know that is where all the weridos come from LOL(jk).
Now alot of people might have said he was gay, but I know for a fact no gay man would have ever been caught dressing or acting like this. Unless he was Goerge Michael :-D!!!!! Shazam! HEHEHE. He was not gay, he was prancing around the women like a peacock in full plumage. But to be honest I think he was really in love with himself more than anyone else. I have seen him alot since this first shock into his world. At Mcdonalds, Target and walking through a very white conservitive town causing near fatal car accidents for rubber necking.
Its ppl like this that makes getting up and opening your eyes well worth it. He was werid, strange, different and a bit comical but probably the safest person to bump into on a dark scary night lol.


Becky said...

Personally, I would have had to have taken the picture, I just couldn't have supressed the urge to share such an image. Sounds freaking hillarious!

Lo Lo Lova said...

This story made me laugh out loud! Yeah, I'm pretty sure the tat of the naked woman screams "hetero." Unless it was Betty Davis, Marilyn, or Madonna :)

Perhaps the dude in my town his a long-lost brother or an unrequited lover...

Regardless, you need to take his pix at Target!

Spexial said...

i'm with rebecca -- i would have taken the pic 4 sure!

honkeie2 said...

Ok, I am on the hunt for the ellusive doodoo-homoerectis. I will try and capture this wild beast of freakdom. I will bag'm, tag'm and photograph'm. Well, i will try to lol.

Becky said...

I answered the questions you posted yesterday or day before on my site! :-D

Anonymous said...

holy moses... that's just totally wrong... i can't believe he does this in public... maybe he gets a rise out of it!

honkeie2 said...

Well from the look of his tights, if he did he would put someones eyes out lol.
Kewl, thnx rebeeca, I will check it out :-D