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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, September 30, 2005

Ever wonder why so many people get drunk? I have, and I can not really come up with any good reason. But yet every weekend we do it and we do it with pleasure. It happens all over the place; in the homes, malls, stores, resturants and even in the woods-
Here are a few good reasons I have come up with for getting soo fuckin cruncked tommorrow has no meaning....
1) When one drinks sleep comes so easily and even a patch of grass full of piss and geese poop becomes the most comfortable bed ever.

2) Freinds become real friends in the quest to drown ones self in booze. It is a sport everyone can play and there is no need to train or take steriods to be the best. It is not the amount you drink, just as long as you are drinking.

3) If it were not for drunks what would the cops have to do. More than 85% of all crimes are the direct result of drinking. If no one was out there parting like it was 1999 what would the boys in blue do all night? My tax payer money is not there for them to be sleeping, I want some good Reno 911 fotage here!

4)If people did not get drunk what would those who remained sober laugh at. If you ever have to stay sober while everone else drink keep a camera handy. You are sure to get plenty of photos like this to show their parents later.


5) The Tidy Bowl Man would be so lonley if people did not drink their fill then some on the weekends. It would be such a sad place if there were no under age college kid vomiting his semester way on the bowl. What else would this strange unit be for if not for catching bile and half digested food along with high grain alcohol.

6) And who can forget the all well known fact---Alcohol was made so ugly people could get laid--
Becareful who you party with, never know who you might wake up with!



So keep up the drinking and never listen to that little voice that says you might have a problem. Remeber that beer you bout was made by someone who has a job, a family and a life. It is becuase you bought that beer her/she can provide for their families and hold their heads up high as an American. And never quit, quiters never win and winners die healthy sober and at 100 years old, but they are still dead. And they had no cool stories starting with, " hey remeber back in the day when we drank all that booze and......."

13 comments:

Katie said...

Linny,
dont read this...lol

O i know the tidy bowl, i know it o so well...I did just what that guy is doing in the pic cause i was so drunk.

O and never eat chile be4 drinking cause is does not taste as good the sec. go round...trust me

honkeie2 said...

Ewwwwww re-chewed chili lol.
On a funny side note on ugly drunk chic, I found her online journal and was tempted to leave a comment. But I would not want her to see her pic on line lol. She probably a really nice woman who has a wonderful personality.
Damn, I am going to hell :-D. I wonder if they serve beer there?

Danielle said...

omg i am craven a heinekine right now

steph said...

I can always taste beer all day at work on Fridays.. Just beer.. Im crrrrraving.

Heather said...

Yeah.. as a water drinker.. I still laughed my ass off.. and I so would want to hear what the ugly drunk chic has to say LOL

Becky said...

LOL, they say you're too drunk when you have to take hold of the grass on the lawn to keep from falling off the face of the Earth.

slender fungus said...

You made some great points. I think I will start drinking again. Maybe this time I can wait until the weekends to start doing it and keep my clothes on.

Katie said...

lol they better cause i want some too

honkeie2 said...

Thanks for all the comment, got buzzed at AppleBee's ( 2 Coors lights, Brutus's and 2 Amareto sours)and hope to get more on Sunday :-D

Danielle said...

okay it is sunday morning and i am still drinking!! hahaha

Ranger Tom said...

kqI'm not an alcoholic, I'm a drunk...

Alcoholics go to meetings.

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