Ever wonder why so many people get drunk? I have, and I can not really come up with any good reason. But yet every weekend we do it and we do it with pleasure. It happens all over the place; in the homes, malls, stores, resturants and even in the woods-
Here are a few good reasons I have come up with for getting soo fuckin cruncked tommorrow has no meaning....
1) When one drinks sleep comes so easily and even a patch of grass full of piss and geese poop becomes the most comfortable bed ever.

2) Freinds become real friends in the quest to drown ones self in booze. It is a sport everyone can play and there is no need to train or take steriods to be the best. It is not the amount you drink, just as long as you are drinking.

3) If it were not for drunks what would the cops have to do. More than 85% of all crimes are the direct result of drinking. If no one was out there parting like it was 1999 what would the boys in blue do all night? My tax payer money is not there for them to be sleeping, I want some good Reno 911 fotage here!

4)If people did not get drunk what would those who remained sober laugh at. If you ever have to stay sober while everone else drink keep a camera handy. You are sure to get plenty of photos like this to show their parents later.


5) The Tidy Bowl Man would be so lonley if people did not drink their fill then some on the weekends. It would be such a sad place if there were no under age college kid vomiting his semester way on the bowl. What else would this strange unit be for if not for catching bile and half digested food along with high grain alcohol.

6) And who can forget the all well known fact---Alcohol was made so ugly people could get laid--
Becareful who you party with, never know who you might wake up with!



So keep up the drinking and never listen to that little voice that says you might have a problem. Remeber that beer you bout was made by someone who has a job, a family and a life. It is becuase you bought that beer her/she can provide for their families and hold their heads up high as an American. And never quit, quiters never win and winners die healthy sober and at 100 years old, but they are still dead. And they had no cool stories starting with, " hey remeber back in the day when we drank all that booze and......."