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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Dance shoes

I am going to have to go back and delete a bunch of my Friday Funny Post because allot of the pictures I have gotten off of have disappeared on me. I had a funny feeling that might happen but all I have to do to make sure that does not happen again is save the picture on my computer. Then upload it off my pc instead of taking it from the site.

For this weeks funny I am going to share a project I helped my wife with in her class. She asked me to do a spoof commercial that she was going to translate into spanish. The problem with my original idea is that lots of the slang I used does not translate into any language but english. For example when using slang in refering to boobs these words mean absolutly nothing in any other language but ours the words speak to us. Such as:
Bazookas, mellons, love mounds, dirty pillows, fun bags, over the shoulder bolder bongers, coconuts, bonkers, peaches, slap sacks, man magnets, and breast(borning!) You can translate all those words into all kinds of languages but they lose their meaning in the translation. So what I have here is the English version I will probably use if I ever take another creative writting class.

The Hankie Hustlers:

Ever wish you had the moves to wow everyone at the club. But being the rythmless person that you are, it has kept you the forever wallflower.

But don’t worry from the people that brought you “Disco Moves For the Spaz” and “Break Dancing Made Easy” new from -You have been had Inc.- :

“The Hankie Hustlers”

Just in time for the holiday parts you to can bust a move and drop it like its hot out there on the dance floor!
Show the boss you got the moves to get those reports done and show that intern you are young at heart, at least, and could still rock her world.
These shoes will make you the life of the party and make you the talk of the town for years to come.
You can pick form a variety of colors Red Hot Roadster Red, Mello-Yellow Green and Dancing Fool Blue. These shoes are made to fit any style and any foot regardless of size or girth. Have clown feet not a problem we can have a custom made shoe sent directly to your doorstep in 2-3 business days.

Act now and we will throw in our newest video, “Hip-Hop Does and Don’ts”. This will give any one who might be lost to the world of Hip-Hop how to work a room and how not to end up on the receiving end of a backhand. It will show you how to deliver lines with the smoothness of any smoothie and when it is the best time to slip her the mickey.

So, what are you waiting for? Go out to your local shoe store and ask any sales associate on how you to can get this new and wondrous product. Supplies are limited and the demand is high. Be the first in the club to be laughed right out of your shoes!

-You Have Been Had Inc.- doesn’t guarantee anything other than that these are dance shoes. They do not move on their own and are not a substitute for true rhythm. The company can not be liable for pregnancy, bar fights, lost of toes or life, blindness, bladder infections, cancer, broken bones or any other physical ailment that might occur from using their product. This product has not been inspected by anyone other than Jose in the factory in Chile.
The Hankie Hustlers do not claim to give you the ability to dance if you are a clueless left footed fool.
If you need dancing lessons please check out our web page to locate the nearest ballroom to you.
You Have Been Had Inc. cannot be sued for anything that might happen once you buy these shoes. They are your problem now and the odds are by the time you realize you have been had they will be long gone off to a small island in the Bahamas spending a fools fortune.
~PJL 12/14/2005~

And yes that is my real name and yes if you try to steal my idea I will hunt you down and fuck you with a cactus. I love doing spoofs like this and have done many in the past. I once actually made a spoof TV show in my video tech class when I first started college back in 1994. I was a Opra like show , it was titled "MADD mothers vs. DAMM assholes"( for those of you who dont know what MADD is, it stands for Mothers Agaist Drunk Driving. And DAMM stands for Drunks Agasit Madd Mothers) It came out fucking great except for one shakey camera man that was trying his hardest not to laugh out loud on the set. One of my many regrets in life is that I dropped out not long after I made this gem and never got a copy. I have even thought about going and looking for the teacher but I dont know his name or even if he is still at UCC. Oh well.
Tell me what you think of my shoe commercial and if anyone needs a spoof let me know and I will see what I can do.

To get the weekend off here is a Momment of Zen I stole from RevHonk, I hope it give you nightmares(because I am just a sick puppy):


Becky said...

Nice, I especially likedt MADD vs. DAMM, too funny! Happy Friday, hope you have a good weekend, don't forget your camera, I just love seeing your weekend pics on Monday!

honkeie2 said...

Becky: I will have it with me and I will have some for ya. U need to get more up on yours. I love seeing ppls pics :-D (they dont have to be dirty but I wont complain if they are lol)

Video X said...

HOLY SHEEEEEEEEEET DUDE! i laughed all the way thru this.

jose in the chile factory...that kicks ass!

i want the dancin fool blue. really, i like red, but i like to say dancin fool better.

Jasmine said...

Funny, funny!
Picture is scary though@



AM said...

I bet the webster does not have as many definitions for boobs as you do lol.

As always... Rachael said...

I am totally going to get in touch with my local DAMM chapter! Funny stuff!

honkeie2 said...

VX: Glad to give ya a laugh. Jose might be a little lonley go give him a hand ;)
Jas: Yeah that pic is always disturbing.
am_pm: I will have to look up but I will bet u are right.
racheal: They only dues this club asks for is a 6 pack at every meeting.

Shannon said...

See I am pissed.. I posted a comment on here on Saturday and it took it but now it's gone!!

Anyways... I still love your Avatar, it makes me laugh evertime I see it!!! Hehehehe

P.S. That clown scares the hell out of me... I keep thinking of the movie "It".. wahhh!!

Just Some Gal said...

This was too damned funny. I really needed a laugh Honkie!

Happy Monday!!

sarah said...

haha. hope you had a good weekend.


the_mrs said...

Where is Honkeie?

honkeie2 said...

I am here, fighting with my blog grrrrrr

Becky said...

What, who the, where in the hell you been!? Haven't posted in a while used to reading you every day! Hope you're okay, it's been like four whole days!