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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, February 10, 2006

AAAHHHHHH Its Friday! ( Rant time hehehe)

Well its Firday and that is about all I can say about it.
I had skool last night and we got to watch a movie, I used to love when the teacher showed us movies in class and I still do! It was a documentry on the Swing culture for the 1940's. What really got me was that this wild Hep-Cats would later become the old fuddie-duddies that could not understand this new wild crazy- hippies. They all looked like wild fun kids that were doing things that the older generation did not get and their respones to them was "Dont be a square daddy-o" and later there own kids would say things to them like " Oh wow man, pops you are such a square, wow man" and now those unwashed rebels of the free love generation are getting lip from thier kids" Dad, dont be a douche".
It seems to come full circle, and no matter how wild or outragous the new generation seems, its all been done before its just done with different cloths and new music styles. I hear my self even saying it and then I think,"Is it really all that different?" And the answer is no, it isnt; its just different. My generation had the rap exsplotion(NWA & The Beastie Boys), baggy cloths, tattoos and wild pericings. To the older generation this was unacceptable, but back in their day they compaired swing dancing to a mental disorder and animal like behavior. In the video we watched they even had a psychologist(sp) saying that this music was not healthy, because G for bid that the young ppl had their own music and stuck out their asses at them.
Those kids back in the 40's had Beeny Goodman(Goodfather of swing), baggy suites-Zute suite(sp), tattoos and wild dances. Same shit different times. So next time you say something along the lines of " These kids these days" just remeber when you were young teasing your hair, wearing hoop earing big enuff to fit a full sized pariot in, white tights with cowboy boots, 100 braclets on on arm, fish net shirts, parachute pants, and wearing any other thing you might have worn that was "In" at the time. They said the same thing about you then, and they thought you were weak, had no direction or focus, did not play outside enuff, were lazy, disrespectfull, and would most likely amout to nothing but the next batch of prostitues and jail house inmates.

But enough of that, here is a funny but you have to read it. I have had alot of the pictures I have posted disappear on me. I have yet to go to all of them and fix the post, what can I say I am lazy.

I wrote this post for Mikes blog, he asked for volunteers to write stories for something he was going to work on as collection post. I am not sure if he is going to do it ar not but I thought I would share the story I sent to him. I have revised it a bit and I think I will resend it, this one is a little better.

The Spoon

Jeff had just received his soup and he reached over to pick up his spoon, of which he was unsure which one to take. So he took the one closest to the soup bowl. Jeff does not usually eat out at fancy restaurants but he is on his first date with a woman he met online. He usually prefers a sports bar but he does not want her to think he is a class-less broke yahoo. As he picks up his spoon he looks over at the table next to him and finds out he has picked the correct spoon.

"Score one for me." Jeff thinks to himself

As he lowers his spoon to the bowl the takes his eyes off his date for a second and sees something that does no belong. Not wanting to look like an uncultured baboon, which he was, he just played it off and stirred the soup. Unable to look away from his soup his date's curiosity grew.

"What's wrong with your soup?" His date replied.

Just as the last word escaped her lips he lift his spoon and cradled in it was something very strange. This object was rather foreign and did not belong where it was found. They both looked at this thing and then looked up at each other and started laughing. What was going to be a rather dull dinner turned into a comedy at the expense of this restaurant, that only the upper crust of society dined at. The noise they were making caused some alarm with the waiters and the headwaiter came over to their table.
"Excuse me, is there a problem sir?" He said in their patronizing way of speaking in places like this.

"Um, yes there is. As you can see there is something in my soup and it isn't a fly." Jeff said.

As he told the waiter this he held it high up over the table so everyone else could see. Jeff was even able to contain his mirth enough to keep it balanced on his spoon but his date was not so composed. She was laughing so hard she had started snorting. Much to the dismay of the headwaiter everyone's eyes were fixated on this object.

The headwaiter took the spoon and soup to the back with such a quickness that Jeff did not even notice he was left holding nothing but air until he saw the waiter go through the white kitchen doors.

Jeff leans over the table and says," Want to leave and go bowling? I think the food and beer there is free of dirty toys."

With that she nearly fell out of her chair laughing. There was such a buzz about the restaurant that it was impossible to filter out a single voice.
They left and headed to the bowling alley in the part of the town called "Red Street" and had a blast.
To this day Jeff and his date, which later became his full time wife unit, cannot imagine how a set of the largest string of anal beads ended up in his soup.-PJL 2/10/2006-

Now as I have said in the past this is an original and not to be used unless you ask. I do not mind ppl using my stories but if you make any money off of it you had better share. And if you dont I will hunt you down and rape your nostrils with my throbbing man meat and eat all of you pets in a pita wrap with extra mayo.

And before I forget here is your Moment of Zen:

If women were this straight forward with what they wanted the world would be that much less confusing place for us clueless men.

I just found this and thought I had to share....carefull who u party with *wink wink*


Video X said...

right on...concerning your rant.

and i cant even begin to tell you how straight forward i was last night...i did not write fuck it on my ass, but i told about 10 different dudes last night when i was drunk at the bar....that i really just wanted to make out with the possibility of fucking. and that i wanted to continue that plan for quite a while. no games man. but then i pushed it too far...when i told each and every one of them a different fantasy...and i have a lot. i sware i was cherry's blog in the live last night. i told one dude who was taping the band that i loved cameras and i wanted to screw and have someone else there taping it. i told another dude i wanted him to grab me by the hair slam me against the wall pull out a knife cut my clothes off and fuck my ass. i told another dude...oh get the picture. straight forward chicks are real. i'm one. but why did they all get really big eyes and become speechless and then leave? hahahaha. i told one guy he was going to get licked by me...stupid dumbdumb he started talking to me and stuff asking my name talking to me about what his job is...blah blah blah talky talk talk. he lost the lick. i didnt want to talk for crying out loud!

honkeie2 said...

I think u were at the gay bar. Try the one down the street next time lol.
You might haev scared them, try the shy girl approach next time and only let on that u are a freak once you got his ass tied to the bed. then bring out the knives, guns, rubber sheet, crisco and gerbils. haha

Mike said...

Nice picture. I am working on the story. The concept is I am taking all of the stories I received and meshing them into one. So far it is WAY out there, but funny as hell. Yours stands alone however and is a great post all alone! But look for it in the Soup of a story I will post real soon, (Hint Hint)

Ranger Tom said...

Honkeie, where's video x hang out?


morbid misanthrope said...

I remember watching movies in college -- in fact, we watched a documentary about the flappers in the 1920's. I think we watched that movie because the teacher had a bit too much Kalua in the parking lot before class. Hell, if she couldn't teach, she'd play a movie or make us listen to old radio shows with our heads down on our desks.

Once, I was with a buddy at a well-known burger chain when he discovered the nastiest, longest, curliest pubic hair in his French fries. Had he been tactful, we might have gotten some free food; instead, he stood up and screamed, "There's a fuckin' pube in my goddamn fries!" We were promptly ejected from the restaurant.

Shannon said...

That was really you in that little cartoon wasn't it?? LOL.. dirty little boy ... was he feeling her boobie or stabbing her?? I don't think I wanna know =/

I like the picture.. I always pull my pants down and tell people to "Suck It".. it's the "Thing" to do these days...

Hope your having a great weekend in this fuggen snow!! =)

Anonymous said... this was interesting:

"And if you dont I will hunt you down and rape your nostrils with my throbbing man meat and eat all of you pets in a pita wrap with extra mayo."

That's some creativity you got going there. haha

And the cartoon was like deja vu. That shit ALWAYS happens to me. Grrr.

As always... Rachael said...

I don't know man... the music my daughter likes bugs me. A lot. They're catchy tunes and I like the songs on some level... but they're awfully sexually charged... they're explicit. Nothing is left to the imagination anymore...

God, I do sound old. But to my credit, I have never dictated what music she can listen to. I don't even bitch about it. But once in a while I might interject with "any guy will fuck a slut, but they won't marry one"...

HA HA I know it's a lie... but I can't help myself!!

honkeie2 said...

Mike: I will be looking :-D

Tom: If I knew I would be there lol

Morbid: Did she grade on a curve?

shannon:I tried to make the comic bigger but it wouldnt work, and he is grabing her boobie lol. How did u know that was me :-).
Be carefull who u ask to "suck it" u might be asking the wrong person lol.

michalle: U have to be vreative in this bland world lol. So u always end up getting felt up after u pass out huh?

rachael: Its ok we all find ourselves doing things like that haha.

Buddha Bong said...

I have been scarred by the Suck It pic...

Anonymous said...

Enjoyed a lot! » »