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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Happy HNT

This is a double HNT post for me, one cutie one a little nasty. But nasty in the sense of gross so get your mind out of the gutter, that is my place haha.
Last night we let the little man go to town with his new washable nontoxic markers. By the time we put them away he was covered in multi-colored markings. It did not help when daddy start to use weeman as a human canvas. But when they say washable they meant it. The moment he hit the bathwater the artwork was all gone. So much better than the lead laced and uranium filled permanent markers we used as kids.

Our little man is growing up soo fast and we are about to embark on the baby adventure all over again. It is a little scary because we do not have the baby in hand as of yet so we still have a big hurtle to over come. But once that's done we have to start all over again, the nightly feedings, never ending diaper changes(there has to be an easier way) and all the 'first'. Real magical times I think, but then they learn to talk back and their true nature comes to the surface. I am not saying my son is evil I am saying all children are evil by default. They get there morals from us, no one is born knowing right from wrong. All they know at birth is "MINE" and " I WANT IT TO BE MINE AND I WILL KILL TO GE IT " And with all this I would still do it all over, seeing that little smiling face running to me screaming "DADDY!" is worth all the pain and sleepless nights in the world.




Now the second picture is of my arm and what happens when I shave them. In the beginning of the summer I shaved my arms because I hate the whole hair and sun tan lotion problem, it just looks so nasty. But then I have the problem of ingrown hairs, and sometimes they become very angry and hurt like hell. I use a real rough body scrubber to try and stop these things and even tried special soaps and lotions but they kept coming in. This here is what happens when they come in angry!-Does anyone have a cure for these things?-


It was much worse the other day now it is just red and hurts like hell. When I bump it into something it hurts like hell and even looking at it sends pain running down my arm.

It happens I guess, all in the name of vanity haha. But something funny did happen last night that got the little woman giving me the evil eye. She doesn't like religious jokes so this one did not fly to well with her.
She totally got me in the junk last night, and it hurt like hell. It took all my energy not to beat her with the magazine I was looking at the moment it happened. Beat her like a bad dog for peeing on the carpet! I resisted and even thought it was a little funny after a few minutes. It became funny when this funny visual of Jesus doing something absolutely human, nutting himself on the edge of a table. I mean he was human and did human things right? And from that visual came a revelation to end all revelations! Where did we get saying 'Jesus' as an exclamation?
Here let me show u how I think:

Jesus is walking down a dusty cobblestone street with his followers in tow, all of them caring little note pads to write down anything He might say. Then all of a sudden his sandal is caught on a stone and he does a full face plant into the dirt. Everyone suddenly shouts,"Jesus Christ!" and run over to Him to help him up. Nothing bad just a human thing that happens, nobody hurt and life goes on. Now a few bystanders see this and found it pretty funny but dismissed it as well as another day in the life of a human man.
A couple of day later Jesus is at a little sidewalk cafe and as he walks by he winks and throughs up his peace sign to Judas. As he does this he catches his crotch on the edge of a table and doubles over and falls. Everyone (but Judas) runs over, only after shouting 'Jesus!' Some of the people that witness this were at the first falling and made a little subcontous connection with busting your ass and shouting 'Jesus'. Seconds later a waiter pours hot tea on a patron of the cafe because he was to busy checking out a hottie that just walked by, he totally got a peak at her nose and he nearly fell over. The man who received the scalding baptism jumps up and screams 'Jesus Christ thats hot'. Everyone there is a bit taken by this but they to make the connection with his and Jesus's actions and response.
So, here on out, anytime anyone pulled a "Jesus" the would just say his name. Because shouting Jehovah, Buddha, Mohammad or any other religious figure. I mean can you imagine this:
Cracking your shine on a chair and shouting," David Koresh!" It just doesn't have the same feel to me. And shouting "Jim Jones!" doesn't work for me either but it is growing on me. Next time u hurt yourself try using Jim Jones name instead, not only will you not be taking your lords name in vain it will invoke ppl to think about who the hell is Jim Jones. And if you are one of the many people under the age of 40 who have not learned anything that was not put on MTV or iTunes check this out.JIMJONES Real life if more fucked up than you think!

5 comments:

The Real Kidd said...

Happy HNT Honkeie. Ouch! That looks like it HURTS!

Becky said...

Ignoring it is the best advice I can think of... Spots fucking happen, especially to men!

Spitfire said...

HAPPY HNT!!! Sexy tat!!

I was too busy looking at the rest to pay attention,

would you like a milf kiss?

smooch

honkeie2 said...

kidd: It hurts like hell lol

becky: i guess but there seems to be a cream for everything else so why not these things lol

spitfire: we all love kisses from milfs :-D

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