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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, November 30, 2006

Tits HNT again.....

I will get to my nasty pic soon but I had something on my mind yesterday as I sat listening to the house hold vomit. I was out yesterday due to a stomache virus...or something. I have yet to get it, but oh well.
As I was wandered around the house doing my manly thing....stripping the kitchen cabintes of the old sticky pink paper that someone put there sooooo many years ago. I was struck with a funny thought. Or more like a statement- What I learned from porn movies VS what real life has taught me. So I thought I would share what I came up with, if anyone has anything to add let me know. Its a being list, it will get bigger I am sure.

  1. Not all women know how to or are willing to give head.
  2. Women dont like to get shot in the face with a fat load of man love.
  3. Slipping a finger in her ass wont atomaticly get you access to the backstage party.
  4. Not all men are created equal.
  5. Spanking isnt always wanted.
  6. Shoving a girls head down on the unit during the moment of truth is always a bad idea.
  7. Not everyone likes to be 'ankle to her ear-lobes.
  8. Faster doesnt mean better.
  9. No woman who isnt getting paid will french you after eating at the Y.
  10. Ass to mouth is a show stopper.
  11. Donkey punch...well unless she is a crack whore then maybe.
  12. Sex at work with the hot intern is a big NONO!
  13. Just showing a girl your penis doesnt mean instant sex
  14. Not all vaginas look the same.
  15. Hardwood floors have to maintained and sometimes asked for. It isnt atomatic.
  16. One more......I dont care what you saw I dont kiss after she swallows!

It was something I pondered about as I did my thing in the kitchen. But while in there I discovered a few things...........

  1. Where the mystry leak was coming from.
  2. Where all the drinking glass ended up
  3. We have tons of hot chocolate packets.
  4. The man who put up these cabinets needs to be shot with a nail gun.
  5. We had a secret stash of plastic wear and paper plates.
  6. No need to buy any vanilla extrac for some time.
  7. Salt-yes we have plenty!
  8. I didnt know our Croc-Pot came with a carrying case.
  9. And that who ever put down this sticky paper didnt noitce the 1972 penny in the middle of the surface. Gee I wonder what was causing that circular bubble in the paper?

I am back to work today and have just a little catching up to do. Nothing to bad, I was exspecting it to be much worse. But let me do my HNT so I can get back to said evilness that affords me my addictions.

This is an old pic but I dont think I ever posted it, I might have. I am not about to go looking in past post to see, I am that lazy. It is a picture of a wound I got while in South America. Some assholes thought it would be a good idea to jump my brother and law and me. Well in the end I got a keep-sake and they got nothing. That is what you get for trying to rob 2 drunks 2 drunk to do it right.It has long since healed and become a scar, better than a tattoo lol.

-The drooly monster on my shoulder is the Mr. NoNo, he was -I think- a year old here. And yes that is the wife unit's hand with her bling bling on. And I think if you enlarge the picture you might be able to see another scar of mine, my exwife's name. She burned it into my back sometime around 1997. We were watching this show about tattoos and branding and she asked if she could brand me. I said sure, she used a paper clip and a lighter. I worked rather, to well hahaha. I promised the new wife to put her name over that one, and I will.



Well I am doing this post on the fly, Have a Great HNT and make sure you post something of yourself as well to help spread the fun. And if you have no idea what the hell I am talking about look over here and start-----> HalfNakedThursday

9 comments:

Carie said...

ouch that looks like it hurt...the mom in me was thinking man I hope he had neosporin and a few band-aids...lol I am afraid to clean out my kitchen cabnits...never know whats hiding back there lol

Anonymous said...

happy HNT. inspired me to brand the bf. lets get some tools together.

honkeie said...

carie: nope, just some alcohol. And to make it even better we went swimming in the ocean the next day. Suprisingly it didnt sting tooo much lol.

boo: Take pictures of it ;-D

Satan said...

you are a crazy mutha

that is why i want your soul

we can use people like you in hell

Anonymous said...

Hi people
I do not know what to give for Christmas of the to friends, advise something ....

Anonymous said...

I am with carie on this one. That looks very painful.
At least now you know that your cabinets were papered after 1972. When you are done with yours, you are welcome to come and clean out mine too.
Hope you and your family are feeling better soon.

Cinderella said...

Ewwwwwwww!! You need ointment and a bandage!! Ouch!

Anonymous said...

Hello. Good day
Who listens to what music?
I Love songs Justin Timberlake and Paris Hilton

honkeie said...

satan: Hell yeah!

gutter: I dont think u would want me doing work on your house. I have a bad habit of going through ppl drawers when they arent looking. Not to steal but just to sniff about lol.

cinderella: yeah but I dont think I found any neosporin there lol.

And whats up with these wacko anon comments???