About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Be My Anti-Valentine

With the enpending doom of Valentines Day coming I came across this site that I am sure all men and women alike will find humorous and full of the god awful truth. We all feel it and we all fear it....Valentines Day. We can deal with birthdays the way we deal with colds, we can handle Xmass the way chemist handle a tray full of the balck death plauge viruses, and we survive anniversaries the way a double amputie survived the chain saw accident that gave him the nick name 'Stump'.....But the one day all men and some women dred is Valentines day. I am going to steal the opening line from the site I am about to show u..........

"Valentine's Day is like herpes: just when you think its gone for good, it rears its ugly head once more. No wonder some people prefer to call it VD"

I hope the owners of this site doesnt bring down the rath of lawyers apon my big old head for that but I had to share it. That is some wisdom that speaks volumes to me and I had to share it. Like that time I shared mono with the whole cheerleading team at my friends school.......What???!! They were our rivals, the cheerleading finals were cuming and I thought I would show a little school spirit and slap down some biological warfare on them. Go Cougars!


Now I am not agaist showing love to the one that is the love of your life but putting all the pressure on the whole world to do it all in one day puts some many ppl in straight jackets. I love my wife with all my being and I would go to Africa and fight off all thos wild bush men for all the blod diamons in the world if that was what she wished. But the pressure to perfrom always makes me feel a little inadiquate. I try I do, but I am not as romantic as she wishes I was. I always fear the 'Why cannt you be more like so-and-so's husband' And my response 'Because you didnt marry a gay man pretending to be straight so his parents will leave him alone about where he puts his penis' Then hearing 'He is right behind you'

That would just kill me and I fear it like the pope fears another NAMBLA memeber becoming a priest.

I also know that if we as a collective society dont support this holiday millions of ppl will be out a job and our fragile economy could not take another low blow. The child-labor in Hersey,PA would suffer; the under paid day labor's in the rose gardens would suffer; and the flower/liqour store owners would suffer. Imagine what would happen to the beer/liquor industry if suddenly ever male in the USA went on the wagon.......No SupreBowl beers, No Mardi Gras rum, St. Patrice day whiskey, New Years Eve Champagne, no Xmass eggnog, No Boxing Day shooters(canadians know this one) , GroundHog Day chasers, Martin Luther Day Malt Liquor, no Hanukkah kosher spirits, No Ash Wednesday red wine and no Easter homemade hooch! And if I missed offending someones religion, race, or whatever let me know and I will redo this post to make sure I cover your dumb ass too. But let us not forget the St.Valentines EverClear......or anything with the highest level of alcohol that will help numb the pain to the face you are alone this year and under normal day to day you are happy with this face. Because since you became single you have never been happier. You are now at peace with the world because you no longer have to put up with.....................

-Someone leaving the toliet seat up

-Leaving crumbs in the bed

-Never changing the toliet paper

-Bitching at you to finish the honey-do-list

-Playing therapist because daddy/mommy didnt love them enough

-Getting into fights with her stalker exboyfriend

-The inlaws

-Having to be friendly with people you would much rather drown in a shallow bucket of vomit by holding their head in it

-The never ending pretending-this applys to something sooooo deep I would need to do a whole new post to cover this one-

-The never ending fighting over everything-again a whole post could be dedicated to this topic alone-

-The cold feet on your back in the middle of the night-guys why do all women have such cold feet?-

-Sharing the covers

-Coming home to find nothing at all was done

-and lastly .....all the bullshit you had to deal with that casue to swear of relationships forever and in the end you were perfectly happy

Now one day of the year.......VD, Valentines Day, you feel lonely and shitty. Fuck that, lets keep the industry going but take off the pressure. Buy the candy, flowers and whatever but for a new reason. Lets put the pressure on the reciever of this holiday. If you are big on Valentines day it should be the day you give up something you wouldnt normally........you get flowers and candy, I want butt sex. And the kind where I am the pitcher not the catcher. And dont give me the old 'If it goes in my pooper it goes in yours next' line. I didnt want to save for a month to get you that necklace and some dead flowers just so you could give me a peck on the cheek and you to say "thank you"! And then hand me a card with a gift certificate to 'Bath and Bodiy Works' in it!

So ladies....and some men, if you lay a guilt trip on the one you say you love because they did not live up to the exspectaions that has been drilled into us while we sleep by Hallmark over the years, Just remeber you did not........

1) give up the brown eye



2) clean the gutters



3) stay down at the Y until the command to stop was given



4) remeber to squeeze the tooth paste from the bottom of the tube



5) put the seat down



6) close the bread up when you were done



7) pick up your dirty spotted undies



8) take off your shoes before getting into the car



9) clean your own damn needles after a night of meth fun



10) give that birthday BJ that was promised



11) cook



12) mow the lawn



13) wash your car



14) get that wax job because hardwood floors are better anyway



15) use mouthwash before giving the morning kiss



16) put the remote back in its place



17) use a napkin to blow thier nose and the old 'snot rocket'



18) offer to clean up after the horizontal mombo was over



19) Sleep in the wet spot



20) keep your promise not to get drunk at the company picnic and end up again naked in the pool playing 'periscope up and down' with the bearly legal life guards.

This list could go on and on and on but I will end it with a few cards you might want to send to that person on VD.

(click on pic to see the site I was talking about)









And my fav.......







Have a Happy Hump day everyone. And remeber if you lay on the pressure be ready to recieve some.........prison shower sex style!
The word of the day....and I shit you not, I found this word in Webster's ll New College Dictionary!
Nuyorican: (n) A person of Puerto Rican birth living in NYC.

Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I missed a day!?!?!?!

I missed doing a post on Monday due to work issues and other problems....mainly lack of motivation to much of anything other than breath. I am still suffering from it and to make matters worse I took a double douse of some night time medication last night in some hope I could get some sleep. Well, it worked-a little to well. The moment I laid down I was out like Bill Clinton's sex drive at the thought of being the First ManBitch in the white house. That was some great sleep but in the moring I had a mad case of medicine head. And not this kind:


I didnt know this was a band but I must say I like the name!

But on to why I am laboring into this blog, I have missed the 'E' key so many times I am contiplating not even bothering to backspace it. But then the whole blog would look like this : 'on th way to th stor I bought som milk and thn had som sx'

And after rereading it I myself I am not even all that clear on what I said lol.

Last night the sister and law went to talk with someone that she met at the mall. She said this woman came up to her out of the blue talking about 'Mother of God' and some other religous stuff. She then agreed to meet with her at the mall to talk with her some more on this topic. Now, sister-in-law has all the right to go out and about to try and find where she belongs. But......there are alot of ppl that prey on these people .....does anyone remeber Jones Town???
She isnt some wandering retard that has no clue to what she believes or who she is but she is looking. As well all have done, hell I am still looking. I am not in this for the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I am in for the rainbow itself. She did meet with her but she did have enough sense to take her mother with her for this meeting.

After she got home I asked her ....'What church was she affiliated with?' But she could not give me a straigh answer. At that moment I knew something was amiss. She told me that they talk about religion and the such, but the mother told me that she skirted most of the direct questions and kept going back to the bible.
Holy hell batman, this is used car salesman 101. If the car you are selling has engine problems always draw thier attention away from that area with shiney tires, leather interior or a great paint job. ( lovely plumage)

But after using some Scooby-Doo sleuthiness the wife found out that she was from The christian science church. Another wacho cult that has some warped views on an old tail. I am too loopy right now to get into a rant about religous deviant but if you have no idea who or what these ppl are go here..........WACK WORLD of GOD

I am going to run now, the fear is creeping in. I cannt continue once that settles in my person, it brings out this strange way about me that I cannt even begin to exsplain. I think I am going to go to the store and buy me some lysterin and get drunk. Nothing worse than an degenerate on a cold medicine binge and I am just that depraved at the moment hahahhaha!

Word of the day: Sitzmark....(n) A hollow made in the snow by a skier falling backward.
Now use this word at sometime in your day to day and you will have a fun day!

Friday, January 26, 2007

Happy Friday

It is that time of the week again where i do a 'Tits Friday' post but if I were to do that I would have to wait until I get home----they look down apon looking at tits on work computers lol----So I thought about doing a funny post with some things I can get around looking at during work time.


This one comes from a simple word, todays episode is brought to you by the letters 'F' and 'U' and the word 'OWNED'.


This is a word that has been used in all kinds of ways but the one that I will be showing today is the one I love. I will give several definitions of what this word has come to be known in the internet world

Owned:


To hold as property; to have a legal or rightful title to; to be the proprietor or possessor of;

Pwnd:


A corruption of the word "Owned." This originated in an online game called Warcraft, where a map designer misspelled "owned." When the computer beat a player, it was supposed to say, so-and-so "has been owned."





The last one is the one I am going to be using for todays post. If you go to any photo sharing site and type in either the word 'owned' or 'pwnd' this is what u are likely to find:





1) The facial exspresions here are golden, she totally owned this dudes nuts!









2) I always knew Tiigger was unstable.







3) I love it when asphalt owns skaters....its such a joy to watcher and not a reciever anymore lol.









4)Well lets just hope it was Paris Hilton's and that she was in it!





5) I love it when dudes do gay shit to each other when they get drunk.









6) I sure hope he got something out of this paddling......other than black and blue ass cheeks and balls.









7) These are my favorite kind of 'Owned' pics....for obvious reasons hahahahaha! I bet she tasted that one!









8) Historical versions ring true as well.......I bet Churchill would have teabagged Adolf if he had the chance.





9) Well......actually I think he got owned hahaha!







10) This one is a little nasty/funny but this one goes out to all those white and nerdy ppl. If Anime porn gets you off this will do the trick ass well.



I am now off to cough up the rest of my lungs. I hope this is the tail end of this crappy ass cold. I am getting tired of waking up at all hours of the night coughing.

pst..........dont tell any one but I had to do one quickie......Have a Happy 'TiTs' Friday!

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Double shot HNT....

Its Thursday again and yes I have a pic for HNT....hell I have two! Go me! The first one comes from the most comfortable place in the whole house.....our bed. Here we have WeeMan in his new Nemo jammies, Cheese and the wife unit-and yes she is nude under her cloths, arent we all :D - Notice WeeMan has a death grip on the reomote, you have to start them early.



The second one is of me on the Gazzle. Sick or not I still get some type of workout in. I was only able to get in 5 mintues before the cough fits set in. I am always socked at how hairy I am when I see pics of me topless. And now you see why I shave every summer lol. I have also learned that there is nothing but info-mercials on at 0530 in the morning. I had to put the news on because it was the only channel that wasnt trying to sell me penis enlarging pills or some new machine that will give me flat abs in just 3 minutes a day. And you know I would love to have all of these things but you cannt bullshit a bullshitter.....putting a lab coat and a stethoscope doesnt doesnt make them a doctor nor does it mean I will believe them at face vaule.



I am still sick and much need of sleep. I took some nyquil night time stuff and boy do I feel werid today. It did help the cough, up to about 0300 in the morning. I am going to end this post now, I have dozed off about 20 times in typing this post, and backspaced so many times I have lost count. This isnt even the good medicine head feeling, this is the 'I am asleep with my eyes open' feeling......ugh i hate colds!

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

(Translated) Angry German Kid - Correct Translation

I saw this some time ago but thanks to youtube I can share the joy with everyone! This is why prozac does so well in the states. They show this to parents and tell them if they dont give their kids drugs this is what happens.

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Phlegm...who knew.....

I am still suffering from the usual ailments of a cold but now the god of colds decided to add some ear pains as well. It sucks butt, but I would perfer it to be me and not the babies of the house. It sucks watching they suffer from stuff like this.......exspecally little Cheese. He cannt tell us what hurts so all he can do is cry and pout, but for the moment he is all smiles with a runny nose. He doesnt seem to mind that, it gives his hands a new salty flavor that he seems to prefer over his usual snot free hands.
I had to work the graveyard shift for some much wanted overtime and it does bother me too much because I cannt sleep. The moment I lie down the coughing starts and wont stop until I get up. I tried to catch so sleep before work but everytime I dozed off my coughing woke me up. I am soooo glad I am not a smoker, this coughing thing would drive me insane! My grand father used to wake us up in the morning when he used to get up and do his phlegm purge. He was an old Kentucky gold ol boy who loved his whiskey and smokes. He probably started smoking when he was 10, and they finally caught up to him a few years ago. Seeing that was enough to make me never to want to start up again......well I plan on starting up again once I make 100. Hell if I make it that long the odds are i wont make another 100. So the smoking wont be doing anything father time isnt doing already.
So early this morning while blogging I looked up the words 'phlegm' and 'snot' in light of what I have been dealing with these past few days. Every morning I spit up colors in the shower I have a hard time understanding how the human body produces. But none of the pictures are what I was looking for. I was looking for some pics of the likes of what I have been poking at in the shower thees past few mornings.


1) Search one 'phlegm' sent me to this wacked out artist who has some werid fetish with.......I am not sure of what but here is a sample from his/her collection.



2) I wish I had one of these, it could drain my sinuses in seconds and free up the tissue box in no time flat.



3) This is true, I have seen it. If black lung cookies isnt a bad sign I dont know what one is!



4) I have no idea what phlegm has to do with this drawing of some Harry Potters scene but it came up in the search....I shit you not. At first glance I thought it was some anime porn site lol.



5) Then the search of 'snot' came up with this. A little more on target than the search on phlegm I must say.



And let me wish everyone a Happy Hump Day, well I think its Wednesday anyway. i seem to have lost some time between Friday and today. But I have a good hunch that today is the hump day......its going to be a long hump for me, kinda like the ones your grand parents enjoy on their bi-yearly sex romps. Long, slow, painfull but end the end it was all worth the effort. Firday is only a hop skip and a jump away......and there is the alcohol to make everything better. Sometimes I wish I was a day drink or worked in a place that encouraged drug use, like journalism.


HAPPY HUMP DAY!



Just a little funny I saw on someones blog the other day. There were many comments on this pic but no one knew who this was or from what show. There is a small hint in the pic, I was suprised at how many ppl say they have kids but yet have no idea who this is. I love this guy on this show, he has the most random saying and most of the time I bust out laughing everytime he is one the show. I love it.......I Pooted! Come on say it out loud and see how ridiculous that sounds hahahahhaaha

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Ok....sorry for the off trace ramblings, I am off to hind in my office to catch some Z's

Monday, January 22, 2007

Sick I say...SICK


I have been sick for the past 2 days. Sunday was the worst, but at least I did not have to endure it through out my work day. I dont get sick days so if I call out I miss hours and I cannt afford that now or ever really. But I did find a pill that is a cure all to my problems:
FUKITOL, it claims to fix anything and everything. The side effects are minor and not life threating. Some may be......a feeling of god like utopia, a lack of caring about running over old people and and over all sense that you are better than anyone else. '
Not bad in my book and after the weekend I have had it seems pretty damn good to me.

But even though I was sick I did get somethings done.....didnt get the room cleaned but that is nothing new here. I did get our newest family member put together.....Tony Little's Gazzle. Yes that is righ folks, I now have a Gazzle and the whole family seems to want a turn. Its the family orgy machine hahahahahahahaaha. Even sick I took a turn or two. We got rid of the couch in the family room to make room for the new couch-which is 2 feet smaller- So we now have the room for the Gazzle and a couch. The only thing the Gazzle is missing is a remote control holder. I was on it for about 20 minutes watching tv and did not even notice. I would have probably been on it longer if the wife unit did not call me to go do something. I will have pics soon, I didnt feel like pulling the camera out this weekend. I should have but didnt think of it until just now...oh pooh. But from box to workout it took about 30 minutes....not bad concidering I did it without the wife units help. I am not usually good at these type of things, she is always the one putting them into the shape they belong to ......with out a million and one 'extra' parts.

I also have to give a a big congrats to the wife, she started Weight Watchers 2 weeks ago and at her meeting this past weekend she got on the scale and found out she lost 5lbs. I am very supportive of her and her endeavors to lose weight. Everyone wants to loose it but few do much about it, I am going to help her out in every which way I can. If there is something she cannt eat because it isnt on the list of things she can eat I wont eat it either. I am not about to sit in front of her eating a big ol McNasty burger while she watchs, and hell I dont want to be a fat slob in the years to come. If she is going to be skinny and sexy so will I damn it!

But I am not off to have my 4th hot green tea of the morning. Lucky for me I get free coffee and tea at my job. One of few perks of my job.....lol.

Friday, January 19, 2007

Snow is here

Well winter is finally here, it started to snow for the firt time this year. But no biggie really, just a dusting. Which has sent everyone in to a frenzy, the snow shovels are flying off the shelf, snow blowers selling themselves and the salt demand is at an all time high. Now mind you most of these ppl have been in this part of NJ for some time and know what happens here. We sometimes get bad snow storms, so why do they always act like we live in Death Valley and look at the sky in shock and horror when the white stuff falls fromt he sky. I have had snow shovels, salt and winter cloths since last winter. Do these ppl buy new winter survival equipment every year? There must be familys out there with 20 snow shovels and enough winter gear to out fit National Geographics next trip to the north pole. But its people like this that keep companies in buisniess through out the winter. Where would Home Depo be if it were not for overly snow-phobes running about? And let us not forget all the fat asses that run to the food store to stock up just in case they cannt get their Urban Monstrosity with 4 wheel drive out of the drive way. I mean come on.....these ppl could hibernate for about a week and live on nothing but water and sleep. But it is always fun to sit back and watch these paraniod porky rollie-poleies.

It is always a comedy show in my eyes no matter where I go. I will be going to the gym today, I hope to see some fun gym rats there. I usually see at least one and enough eye candy to give you a mental cavity! I love the attention whore, and yes I perfer the cubbier ones. They just dont flaunt it as mich as the skinny itty-bitty titty committe memebers do. Come on ladies, shake what your momma gave ya...on the stair master. I love sitting on the ab machine with a fatty on the machine infront of me. Now I dont make it obvious that a perv, I am not a jerk about it and i know the rounder women have enough trouble coming to the gym. And they dont need some werido drooling and mental undresing them as the shake their shit all over the tred mill. Lucky for me I can see out the corner of my eyes real well! All I need to do is wear black sunglasses. Lets hear it for the spandex MILF working her junk off in the gym!

I took a pic with my new phone and this is what came out. I was pretty sure it was a picture of me clubbing baby seals but this is what I found when opened my email this morning. Werid, maybe my phone was telling something hahaha.


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But I have to run ....its payroll time and I have to get cracken! Now I want to leave you with something I found online that left a bad taste in my mouth......now I wish to share it. Remeber if someone takes a picture of you (doing something stupid or funny) and uploads it anywhere, it most likely will end up on the internet on someones blog or myspace.
(I know I shouldnt be looking but I dont see any sort of bulge going on there!?!)

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CAPTIAN UNDEROO'S to the rescue......happy friday ppl.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The cold, metal and me.

Late last night my little woman called and gave me some news that made my nipples hard......in the bad since. It was around 8:30 or so and she called me after she got out of class to announce she had a flat and I had to come and fix it. I was rather irritated by this mainly because it was freakin freezing out. I did bitch a little but there was no way around what I had to go and do. She had to walk home because I had all the kids and was not about to leave them home alone ( I saw that movie in the theaters but only the first one lol ) and I was not about to bring them out in this weather. I didnt want baby-sicles, and hell we only live about 3 blocks from her school. I didnt like the idea of her walking in the dark but she did have her sister with her so at least she wasnt alone.
Now she had asked me earlier to make dinner but I am not very good at doing that unless it is already set out for me to cook. We have food but it is in the raw form and I have no idea how to put it toghter. So she was pissed about that when she got home but I was pissed I had to go out in the cold and fight with her car. But lets chalk one up for manliness......she gripped at me for my inability to cook and I gripped at her for inability to fix a car tire. She is great in the kitchen and can make food just seem apar out of nowhere. I can lift heavy objects and change car tires with little to no problem. I have even helped several stranger women in car tire distress with no man to call. So our two pissy attitudes towards each others lacking areas canceled each other out. And hell after I was done with it I felt like a 'real man'......my hands were dirty(but I wore gloves driving home so I didnt get dirt on my steering wheel), my back hurt, my nose was runny(which was whiped with the gloves I was wearing), I was wearing work boots and I had about 4 layers of cloths on....no joke. I was not about to be cold while doing this but I didnt want ot wear a coat ( it would get dirty!). Here is what I had on.....pajama bottoms under my jeans, teeshirt, long sleeve shirt, long john spandex top, winter hat, gloves and a large Champion hoodie. And to be honest with yall, the only part of me that was even a little cold was my ears.
Now for those of you who have never changed your tire I would advise you to chech your owners book on the specs of how and where in the spare tire world. I have never changed a tire in a van before so this was new to me. I had to consult the book to find the damn thing and how to get it off. The spare is located under the car that is held up by this wire. Here is what it looks like after the tire has been removed:



After that it was all smooth sailing, hubcap taken off, nuts loosened, van jacked up, flat taken off, itty bitty doughnut of a tire put on, tightened, jack off, retighten nuts, and then the clean up. It was not all that bad of an ordeal but I did learn how to do it for next time.
Did anyone notice all the sexual under tones there hahahahaha. But all is well and the wife unit will have 4 new tires put on.....hopefully today. We bought them on line and got them last week but we have not had the money to get them put on unitl now......sort of lol.

But enough of all that dirty talk.....Today is HNT and I have a pic of one of my new toys. I dont know if I mentioned this but I got the new Chocolate phone from Verizon. Our contract was up for renewal so we went for some new upgrades. And one of them was the bluetooth head set. I love this thing, and yes I have gotten a few funny looks from ppl while using it......exspecally when I am talking to ppl in the bathroom. I used to think ppl were talking to their penis's but now I know they had the blue tooth head set....well at least I hope that is what they were doing. Before you could see the wire but now we are all wireless and insane, I love seeing ppl in heated conversations with a blue tooth. They forget that they have it own and once a good conversation gets going nothing around you matters. Now I am one of them, feel free to punch me in the gut if I get to annoying about. Just a reality check is all we need from time to time.

So Happy HNT remeber to join in and have a little fun with yourself.


Tuesday, January 16, 2007

I bit the bullet on Sunday and took the 3 monsters to Chucky Cheese. Now, all turned out OK but my god what a night. It was crowded beyond crowded, we even had to wait in line to get in. WTF, I have never had to wait to get my fill of bad pizza and broken games. But it wasnt a long wait, we got our hand stamps and took off.
Since all games were one token we actually did not spend any money. We went through the house before we left and found a shit load of tokens we have from previous trips. Every so often I would find these damn things in our change jars and I would take them out and put them aside. Now we got a free trip to the land of shared germs and body heat. It is amazing how much heat little kids in motion generate.

Here we have the bro-in-law screeching at the top of his lungs in the climbing tubes. He thought it was the funniest thing in the world. But what I missed was my oldest coming over to this very area and mooning the ppl below. I am so proud of him I could cry......



Future Forest Gump in VR training. Why play for real when you can do it in virtual reality.



I was suprised at how much this ride entertianed WeeMan. All it did was rock back and forth but he was on cloud nine while it was going. To bad adults cannt get their jollies this easily(and cheap lol)



Trying to get pictures of a child at play in places like this is like trying to get a tweaker to stand in one spot for more than 4 seconds. Most of the pics came out blurry, or like the next one.....



All I could get was the back of the head, an elbow or the bottom of a sock. Man, these kids are fast! Out of about 12 pictures this is the best I had. At least i got 85% of him in this shot.



Simmon says, left root, right foot.......uh oh Simmon didnt say! He had no idea what he was doing but it made all kinds of noises and had bright colors. Kinda like most old ppl In Vegas.



Then came in the pro at this game. He was thie nerdy white guy in his early 20's ready to do battle with this machine. He had knee supports on, a gallon of water with him and a fanny pack full of tokens. He was going to show this game who the boss was! I must give him credit, he could have whooped my ass in this game. But then again I probably could have whooped his ass in general, probably would have brought back alot of paifull memories of high school.
(I love the look the due in the black coat is giving the Dance Revolution King)



But in all they had fun and I love window shopping....lots of single soccer moms out on the prowl for another baby-daddy. Hell from the way the were dressed I thought that maybe I was at the club, all they were missing was the redbull and vodka in one hand and a smoke in the other.......come to think of it, if Chucky Cheese served booze I might be inclined to go more often lol.

At home I was trying to get some house work done but Cheese was getting all pissy so I decided to pull out the big guns on him. You put him in this thing and he is happier than a man at the new all you can eat buffet and go-go.
And it also doubles as an excerise device, ever try to squat down to get laundry with one of these thing on? You cannt just lean over, the baby would pop out. You have to bend the legs and squat, real thigh work out. But one draw back for me: I wear it a little low so whenever he kicks my nutts take a beating. He always seemed laugh right after he did it too......see proof we are born with thinking nutt shots are funny.

Friday, January 12, 2007

I am learning.....to hate my job.....

Tits Friday and I am pissed off.........here let me tell you why!





I sent in my vacation request for my job in the begining of December, I went on vacation the last week of December. There was supposed to be a check waiting for me when I came in on January 2, 2007. But there wasnt.....so I bitched and they said the paper work was never summited....WTF....now I wanted to see proof of this. So they took out the binders and showed me where all resquest are 'hand written' in and logged. Mine wasnt in there.....mother fucker, now I know I gave it to my boss and he said he would take care of it. Knowing how he is I should have summited again right before I left myself. See my boss isnt a bad guy just a fucktart that now has left the company. His last day was yesterday.......ahhhh killlllll.....Well, now the next Firday is here and still...NO FUCKING CHECK! I went to the office looking for the guy I spoke to last week about it. He is missing in action and his cell phone is turned off......good call cocksucker. Well I get another upper managment retard and get him to call payroll and ask whats up.....They tell him that it takes 2 weeks for screw ups to get set straight and that I will have my money next Friday. I soo wanted to kill at that moment, but what sucks is there is no one to complain to. The person who did the original fuck up is MIA for good and the person who told me I will get my check this week is in hidding.
I have lost all respect for this company, I have seen them screw up ppls money left and right. And now they did it to me, I have been lucky I guess. One of my ppl has gone 2 weeks without a check.....2 weeks and they cannt do anything but say....'It is fixed and you will get it all next Friday' The longer I stay here the more I realize this company and me were not ment to be. I am off to send my resume to anyone and everyone. There has to be somewhere else I can find that will pay me the same or more to do the same.
Another thing that drives to nutts about this company is that their way of doing things was out dated in the 70's. We generate more useless paper work than the military, they dont use the internet for anything, the payroll is still hand written and faxed, our daily reports are still done on carbon copy paper, the uniforms look like some kind of joke from a SNL skit and are made to fit a square box(their uniforms have the name or the company all over them, as if I would want to wear this any place other than work) and let us not forget the paper work one has to go through to get the damn job. They said that they only hire 1 in 25 ppl that apply. But only after a week working there I realized it was not a false statement, just a misdirected one. What they should have said is this: 'One in 25 ppl that apply put up with the bullshit because they are just that desperate for a job that they are willing to take the abuse to get the job.' It took me 3 days to get all the paper work squared away, and even after that they were harassing me for week after for information about jobs I worked back in 1995. The one place they kept asking about was this sporting goods store I worked at. It has been gone for some time and I have no idea how to contact anyone, other than my mom, that knew I worked there. The people in HR wanted me to find anyone who can verify I worked there, mind you the only person that has that info is an ex from my past and I had no desire to go looking her up. And they were basing this on my future emplyment?!? Not the fact I have been at the location already for sometime, over qualified to do the job, passed back ground and drug test with flying colors and.....It was only a summer job I had in high school.
I should have been looking for a new job then but I did not think that this kind of incompetent work ethic was going to carry over to the management area as well. I have stuck it out for as long as I am willing to go. The company is riddled with human error and the unwillingness to move on with the times. I work for a dinosaur, and I dont have any hope for them unless they change. Times are moving forward, join the race or get left behind.



Best picture of how I feel most of the time at my job:

Thursday, January 11, 2007

I saw, I stole, I made my own...

I totaly stole this idea from Kilroy, sorry but I liked the post...

Did I Ever Mention:

------(-)--> I like the smell of metal....that smell you get on your hands after using free weights in the gym.

------(-)--> I can still use roller blades drunk better than sober.

------(-)--> I own all the things I need to catch fish and to go fishing with but I have not caught anything bigger than the bait since I was a little kid.

------(-)--> When I wash my car I have to wash all the brake dust of my rims.

------(-)--> I hate having voice mails waiting for me when I come into work.

------(-)--> If pot were legal I would grow my own stash. (ps- I have not and will not got till then-sam I am)

------(-)--> My wife's boobs are the best boobs----see----

------(-)--> Since 2007 I have become anal about our money, I am detremined to have money saved by the end of this year damnit! I will not turn a brown eye to the fact I made X amount of dollars last year and my savings is assed out. I will save if I have to bend over backwards and take one in the pooper. -sphinzter-

------(-)--> I think these last 2 presidental terms will have the most scandals after The King of The Hill leaves. There is more cover up being used here than on any model photo shoot with Maybelline.

------(-)-->I hate it when my yogart 'spits' at me when I open it.

------(-)--> I love working out

------(-)--> I love junk food, now only if i could stop eating crap my workout might give me better results haha.

------(-)--> I am 30 and still trying to finish college, but I have put my degree on ice to help get the wife unit out first. She is almost done, I am still in the beginings.

------(-)--> I still dont know what I want to be when I grow up.

------(-)--> I dye my hair, use moisterizers, exfoliats, facial masks and have gone to sleep with face renewal creams.......I dont fear death, I fear wrinkles and grey hairs.

------(-)--> I am not gay and think HumpBack Mountain was more disturbing than watching Star Jones do the begining credits of Bay Watch in one of those red bathing suits.

------(-)--> I think full figured women are the most beautiful women out there.

------(-)--> I laugh when bad things happen to celeberties......I hope to see Paris Hilton get run over by a Pizza delivery guy this year-Is that irony or poetic justice?

------(-)--> Britnay Spears is still hot in my book

------(-)--> hmmmm pizza, I could and have eaten pizza of a week straight.

------(-)--> I used to smoke, but still have cravings- Its been almost 6 years now. But the smell still keeps me at bay, god I hate the smell of smoke on me!

------(-)--> I like getting drunk and going to the mall and walking around.

Well that is enough for now. This is the closest thing I have ever done to the '101 Things about me' post. I still might do one but still not in the mood for cumming up with 101 ass of yet.

Well I know its HNT again so I decided to do a pic of some of my favorite winter wear. The temps are actually starting to drop for once. I actually had to put on a hat last night, sheesh, it was only a week ago I was outside in shorts washing my car. The hat I have yet to really wear but I plan on wearing it more often....as sooon as I can find it, I think WeeMan has run off with it again. And that green shirt is made of some kind of spandax type material and keeps body heat in nicely. Even on the coldest days I might wear that with a teeshirt and be fine(and yes that includes jeans and shoes....damn dirty pervs haha)



Dont you just love the myspace profile face.....I am to sexy for my hat damn it! Look out Paris I am hotter and have never gotten STD's before.

Well I am off, remeber to check out my side bar for what HNT is and make sure you play along. I want to see more pictures of yall! And if u are shy u can post only body parts..... ;)------- I can live with that hehehehehhe ( 0 )( 0 )

Wednesday, January 10, 2007

That about sums up how I have been feeling towards my work computer. It has been down since Friday, dont know why or what but I am back so all is right with the world.
Well not really, I am also angry at Target right now. My cappacinnoa(sp) machine has broken on me. I dont know what happened but over the weekend I went to make hot chocolate and the steam thingie didnt work. I tried everything the manual said to do if that should happen but still, no steam. I wanted to beat it to a pile of nothing but I thought better of it, reciet in hand I am off to Target to get a new one......what a drag...I will have to wait to do this again:



Ok, lets see what else has happened since I have blogged last..........Oh yeah, the baby got more shots from the doctor and weeman got his second shot for the flu vacine. The first one wasnt too bad but the second one was much worse. The nurse was a little heavy with the needle, the first nurse got him in the arm with little to no complaint....but this one got him in the thigh and boyyyy was he pissed!

This is the look of someone who is watching the needle not getting it!

Weeman helps Cheese with his overly active mouth water problem.

We also dug out Weeman's old jumper and put the new walking chalanged member of the family in it. We had to put a book under him, he is still a little short. But from the looks of his brother that wont be a problem for long.

As you can see here Weeman still remebers that this 'was' his and he wants to reclaim it. But Cheese doesnt see it that way and is about to show him this is his now. Ownership is nine tenths of the law....whatever the fuck that means haha.

Last weekend we took down all the lights from the house. Taking down the lights is always easier, everything has been boxed and bagged away. I even organized them a little to help with next years lighting ritual. The house looks so boring now....but that spinning wheel in front of the house that records the electricity usuage is moving much slower now.....werid.

Like I said my work pc was shit out of luck for a few days and I was as pissed off as an AA member stuck in October-Fest. But the funny part about it is that while it was down I was able to get everything done that needed to be done for the new year. All the end of the year stuff has been boxed up and put into its archieved place (the corner behind my filing cabinets on top of 2005's boxes) and all the left over paper work from when I was in Virgina. So it was a blessing in disgues and I am thankfull in a since for the much needed work time.

But I am now all caught up looking for something to do so I will checking ppls blogs for the next few minutes until work takes over........I am glad to be back to blogging :-D

Thursday, January 04, 2007

My Trip

Our trip to Virgina was a success. No real snags or issues just a nice ride down and a little wet ride back up. It takes about 6 hours to drive from our home to BroInLaws apartment in Virgina. With the right kind of music and good person to talk to 6 hours can fly by without a hitch.
We left on Thursday night after the little woman got out of work and got there some late that night. I thought I took some more pics of his place but I didnt, but I do have some video of it. But I have yet to figure out how to get it on the puter,,,,,,but soon as i figure that one out I will have a field day.

Now while we were down there we had to go to see where he did his navy thing. He is a mechanic that works on planes, war planes. You got to love death from above!
But most military ppl are so unsmiling it isnt funny. Doug is like the werido in the group, he doesnt have a stick up his ass like most of these ppl. I know they have a serious job but would it kill you to crack a smile once in a while. The guys at the front gate were prime examples of this. We went in to see his work area but we had to turn around to get a day pass, no biggie. But after we came back in we passed by the same guy and we all waved and smiled. But nothing came from Sergent Frowny Man. Dude relax, you have a gun, your buddies behind you have bigger guns and if I did try to run you have these steal barrieres that pop up out of the ground. Its all safe and good, relax and smile ...sheesh!

After a quick tour of the hanger we went out to see his plane. We had to put these hats on, I forget what they are called. Head, ear and eye protect is a must. The military is real big on safety, which is a good sign in my book.

Here we have BroInLaw and myself about to go outside on the fighter plane parking lot. This is about as natural as we get.



That is his family name on the plane and his home town and country. Too kool!



This I found funny ass hell. It is the manual release lock for the missle. I know what it means but in my mind I saw the pilot getting out during a dog fight to get the bomb off after it got stuck. Something right out of Hot Shots!



Just a generic picture of our American might. America Fuck yeah!



The little woman and her new industrial strenght hair drier.



Here we have little man putting on his head gear, and yes he had to wear one too.



I am not sure but I think he was trying to scratch his nose here.



After the grand tour we spent the rest of the time eating, drinking and being merry. I was in complet awe of the fact you could by booze at almost every store. We went to the FoodLion but they had some refrigeration issues so we went to the Super Kmart. I found this cart out by our car so I decided to have a little handi crapper fun. The funny thing about these things is that they are put in stores to help ppl that are handi capped but the only ppl I ever see in them are fat bastards. Eating yourself into a wheel chair isnt a handicap, if you got up and walked more maybe you would still be able to see your feet.



We went out a few time for food and one of those times we went to Maz&Erma's. It was kinda like a TGIF's or AppleBee's. Here I had my first Mojito, and it was nice. Very yummy!
Here we have BroInLaw giving the baby his firt lemonaide. He liked it, even though it doesnt look like it hahahaha.



It was there in Virgina that I offically drank myself until I was tired of drinking. It isnt a resolution, just something I am going to do because I am tired of it. I will go back but for the time I am on the wagon. Lets see how long I can keep it going, so far I am 4 day dry. I have even gotten back in the gym, little sore but no biggie. I am off the cut cycle and into heavy weights, its winter time and time to bulk up. I will go back to heavy cardio in April/May. That is the time to get ready to go shirtless, but I will be getting some cardio in the little woman. She wants to get into the exercising thing. I plan to help her any way I can, since the gym will be too much of an adventure getting to, I am working on a plan of attack in the home. I will make her my first training success story!

I know its HNT but I have give numerous pics that could qualify so I will save the others I have for another post.
Have a happy week ppl, I will try to get to everyone's blog that has posted comments on mine. I am not as buisy so now I have a few mintues to surf at work hahahaha.