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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

The cold, metal and me.

Late last night my little woman called and gave me some news that made my nipples the bad since. It was around 8:30 or so and she called me after she got out of class to announce she had a flat and I had to come and fix it. I was rather irritated by this mainly because it was freakin freezing out. I did bitch a little but there was no way around what I had to go and do. She had to walk home because I had all the kids and was not about to leave them home alone ( I saw that movie in the theaters but only the first one lol ) and I was not about to bring them out in this weather. I didnt want baby-sicles, and hell we only live about 3 blocks from her school. I didnt like the idea of her walking in the dark but she did have her sister with her so at least she wasnt alone.
Now she had asked me earlier to make dinner but I am not very good at doing that unless it is already set out for me to cook. We have food but it is in the raw form and I have no idea how to put it toghter. So she was pissed about that when she got home but I was pissed I had to go out in the cold and fight with her car. But lets chalk one up for manliness......she gripped at me for my inability to cook and I gripped at her for inability to fix a car tire. She is great in the kitchen and can make food just seem apar out of nowhere. I can lift heavy objects and change car tires with little to no problem. I have even helped several stranger women in car tire distress with no man to call. So our two pissy attitudes towards each others lacking areas canceled each other out. And hell after I was done with it I felt like a 'real man' hands were dirty(but I wore gloves driving home so I didnt get dirt on my steering wheel), my back hurt, my nose was runny(which was whiped with the gloves I was wearing), I was wearing work boots and I had about 4 layers of cloths joke. I was not about to be cold while doing this but I didnt want ot wear a coat ( it would get dirty!). Here is what I had on.....pajama bottoms under my jeans, teeshirt, long sleeve shirt, long john spandex top, winter hat, gloves and a large Champion hoodie. And to be honest with yall, the only part of me that was even a little cold was my ears.
Now for those of you who have never changed your tire I would advise you to chech your owners book on the specs of how and where in the spare tire world. I have never changed a tire in a van before so this was new to me. I had to consult the book to find the damn thing and how to get it off. The spare is located under the car that is held up by this wire. Here is what it looks like after the tire has been removed:

After that it was all smooth sailing, hubcap taken off, nuts loosened, van jacked up, flat taken off, itty bitty doughnut of a tire put on, tightened, jack off, retighten nuts, and then the clean up. It was not all that bad of an ordeal but I did learn how to do it for next time.
Did anyone notice all the sexual under tones there hahahahaha. But all is well and the wife unit will have 4 new tires put on.....hopefully today. We bought them on line and got them last week but we have not had the money to get them put on unitl now......sort of lol.

But enough of all that dirty talk.....Today is HNT and I have a pic of one of my new toys. I dont know if I mentioned this but I got the new Chocolate phone from Verizon. Our contract was up for renewal so we went for some new upgrades. And one of them was the bluetooth head set. I love this thing, and yes I have gotten a few funny looks from ppl while using it......exspecally when I am talking to ppl in the bathroom. I used to think ppl were talking to their penis's but now I know they had the blue tooth head set....well at least I hope that is what they were doing. Before you could see the wire but now we are all wireless and insane, I love seeing ppl in heated conversations with a blue tooth. They forget that they have it own and once a good conversation gets going nothing around you matters. Now I am one of them, feel free to punch me in the gut if I get to annoying about. Just a reality check is all we need from time to time.

So Happy HNT remeber to join in and have a little fun with yourself.


prunella jones said...

I love to hear people chattering away on the phone in the bathroom while toilets are flushing etc. Instead of surpressing my bodily noises I try to make them as loud as possible. Enjoy my farts, Yuppie! (evil laugh!)

Good for you for changing the tire. You are a genuine man. I have no idea where my spare is.

PixieGaf said...

My worst nightmare is getting a flat although I do know how to change a tire I hate getting my hands dirty LOL!

Pru you are a riot! I get freaked out when people take the phone into the bathroom.

Anonymous said...

Oh no you have fallen prey to the evil that is the Bluetooth headset. I swear every time I see somebody out in public I wish I had a Louisville Slugger so that I could bash their heads in. I have one, but I only use it in the car while I am driving. I take it off as soon as I get out of the car.

How is the Chocolate Phone.
I just bought a Moto SLVR in May and I have to say it is the best phone I have ever owned.

honkeie2 said...

jones: In publick restrooms echo the best tooo!

pixie:give me a call if ya ever get a flat. I will come out and fix ya up better than AAA.

ryan: thanks for stopping by, and I feel you on that one. I used to take it off but it got really comfy on the ear. And if it is on my ear I know it isnt lost.
I love the chocolate phone, but most ppl I know that have used it cannt stand it. The buttons are a little odd, touch sensitive-not actual buttons.

Martini said...

I, myself, just got a flat 2 days ago. Had to leave the car at work, catch a ride, then come back with my battery-powered air inflator thingy. What a waste of time. But it's my own fault for not checking the tire.

Samantha said...

Dammit, I want a new phone!

Anonymous said...

If you bought another "head" set for your penis then you really could talk to it in the bathroom.

prettykitty said...

isn't that one of those gizmos that gives you ear cancer?