About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Shut up!

Nothing has been going on so I thought I might share something I did to the wife some time ago that still makes me smile:

-I am going to relate a story of something that happened to me that I still to this day laugh about. You see, very few people can say they know me as well as my wife does. But every so often I like to through a huge monkey wrench in there just to keep her on her toes......

We were in the car driving, I have no idea where we were going, and we were talking. It was more of a discussion with a little bit of heat added to it. And just as she was about to say something I put on my serious face and shouted , "Shut Up!"

Now I did not mean it nor did I really throw that in there with the hopes of shutting her pie whole but I knew what it would do to her. You see, I am not at all a confrontational person. I do not like arguing or fighting so for me to blast out with this, was way off key for me. I did it just to see her reaction.

Well.....she turned all shades of purple, her knuckles turned white with female rage as she gripped the steering wheel, and I swear I heard a blood vessel pop. She looked at me and the skin from around her eyes peeled away to revile burning orbs of fire. Her tongue lashed out, barbed and forked. And a voice bellowed out from the cavernous area that used the be her beautiful mouth that screeched...."What the fuck did you just say!"

Up to this point I had my serious face on but once I saw Beelzebub I could not hold it, I started laughing at her. And boy did that piss gas on her fire. She began to pound me with one hand and drive with the other. Man she sure has some skill, she was swinging away while the whole time keeping the minivan on the road. I took the beating with a smile because I knew it was coming and it was worth it. She will never forget this day, I would sure love to get her like that again but it will have to be a while. This one is probably still fresh in her mind and would catch on real fast. I love scaring people and this ranks up there with one of my better pranks. I have never caught them on tape but someday I might, and even though I did not catch this one on tape I tell all that will listen about the day I saw the face of Satan and lived.
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And since I really do not have much; you know what I have .....that's right de-motivational posters! I did not do a Monday post due to work getting in the way then family, then the gym, then sleep....I will just do some crappy post today so no one can say I have not been posting!
1) I never understood the ass slap thing, and this new tred has me truly lost for words.
2) I still dont see what is wrong here.
3) How many asses does it take to get an ass in the river to do lay out on this months issue of 'Man on Donkey'?
4) Virgins of the world unite!
5) I still can not wrap my mind around half of the crap I have seen in the form of anime, and this is just another example of it....this might mentally scar you.....
I hope everyone is having a great hump day. I really do not have any plans for this weekend. The wife has to work saturday, the ex has the teenager, and my need to get more ink is nawing at me. But I have to wait and save up a little, the 15th isnt that far......really it isnt...is it.....? We are going the 19th to see Thomas the Engine in PA and also to see what I am calling Cracker Land or aka: Dutch WonderLand. The neighbors have invited us to go so we will be on our way in about 2 weeks. Never been there and I am always up to new and exciting places!

6 comments:

Mimi said...

The little girl with the mixer reminds me of an old Dairy Queen commercial for the brownie batter blizzard. I hate blizzards, lol, but love that commercial. If they would have shown the mixer actually plugged in, then I could see the Bad Parenting label.

Martini said...

"excuse me" - shit that was sweet! hahaha!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Ok those are a bit disturbing. Especially the last one....

~Sheila~ said...

I think they are all a little bit disturbing. Especially the guy with the arm gloves. I'm going to show Dom so that maybe he won't want to wear them anymore!

When you go...Don't forget to get batteries for your camera!!!

Danielle said...

your nuts! lol

Ranger Tom said...

Have fun in Lancaster... I know the area well. the PRR musemum it there too along with the Strasburg Railroad. Great time will be had if you love trains the way I do!