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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, April 13, 2007

I had to make food the other night so I went for something easy and simple. Two things I like about soup and women..............easy and simple.....hahhaha yeah and if you believe everything I say I have a bridge I would like to sell you.

But any way.....

I went for the frig to retrieve the bird to only find it was frozen sold. It had been in the frig since the night before to defrost but I guess it was not long enough. So I set after the bird with this fun knife we have for such a task.

I always feel like the crazed cook in a horror movie when I pick this bad boy up. But when I set apon the bird with a freshly sharpened balde ( I am anal about the sharpness of my knives, I am just a sicko like that) I found that hacking a frozen bird in half was going to require a little more than one knife. So I busted out his little brother but something bad happened.

Captian Morgan popped out and I went all pirate on the bird.


Grrrrrrrrrrrr, I am that manly!

HaHa, but seriously:

I broke the knife while trying to spilt big bird breast open. I finally got it but the knife was no more:

Even with one knife down I was victorious in the battle! The bird was splint in twain!.....What the hell does that mean, I have no idea. I heard it in a Robin Hood movie haha.

I went on a chopping frienzy and went medievil on the vegitables. I just pretened that I was battling with those veddie tale people characters and I was the evil bad guy....Mr. Peeler. Muahahahhhahaahah!

In the end they all sucumed to my blade and went in the pot!

But while I had my back turn that bitch ass tomato twat can up and gave me a ninja back slap. You can see its freakin hand print in my back. I now vow to kill all veggie people and turn them into pooh!

And hell do you see something wrong with these things. They say the Tele-tubies have sexual issues.....what does this tell you about uber religous vegetables????

Well it is "TITS FIRDAY" so I will send out on pic of one of the greatest toys on the market.
What she lacks in looks she makes up in tittage! With a rack like that you mind as well not even have a head. No real man would notice it anyway.
But in her defense she isnt that bad I was just being mean....

But have a good weekend.......I did not proof read any of this. I am off to online skoolage, too much fun whooohooo.


Kilroy_60 said...

TOO much!

I'm sorry, your front page is a work of art today. I went from one post to another thinking I'll comment on this one. No, this one. Wow, this one is great.

Must say my compliments on the credit card post.


morbid misanthrope said...

I bet a machete would have made short work of that chicken. Than again, that's my solution to everything.

Miss 1999 said...

*ROTFLMAO* Damn, you gave me the laugh of the century there!!! I'm hollaring over you breaking the knife-- and that was a damn big knife!!!

I've just gotta know, hbow did it all taste?

Carie said...

lol man that chicken muct have put up a fight lol...hope the soup tasted good lol