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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Monday, April 09, 2007

This was Easter weekend so I did what all red-blooded Americans do......I drank waaaaaay to much. Lets just say it was bad, very very bad. Well nothing bad happened but the littel woman was pretty pissed at how drunk I got. I did not intened to get that wasted but I made the classic mistake of not pacing myself and keeping tabs on the time drinks were consumed. It was amature night at my house.
I started off with a girly drink, cosmopolitans. Then when I was done with that.....about 4 drinks.....I went to shots of this high grade tequilla I bought from this amazing little secret in the ghetto called BayWay Liquors. This is a place that sells high end stuff, for example: I saw a bottle of rum that cost $400! Man, and I bitch when the usual bottle of 'TheCaptian' I buy is out and I have to buy the bigger one at $30! At 4oo smackers it better be some good shit!
Well I bought a small bottle of this stuff I saw advertised in Stuff Magazine as being da-bomb in the worlds of booze.

So of course being the easily led astray man I am, I bought it too. All was well until I started up with shot after shot of this stuff. It was so classic that I should have known that the end of this story would end with me throwing up at some point. And I did...........
All I know is that I drunk dialed the bro-in-law and he too was really wasted out in Virgina, I was myspacing for a while, watched some tv and then ened up naked in the bath tub. I am not sure at what point I decided to take a bath but at one moment I was watching tv and then the next I was up to my neck in the water and the little woman looking at me from the toliet. She looked pissed so I know at that moment those follow up shots (about 4 or 5) were a bad idea.

I dont mean to be stoopid but sometimes my redneck colors come flying out. Well, after my bath, which I must say I was glad I took my cloths off to take, the waves of evil started. I knew what was coming and knew what had to be done. I just down know why I did it in the sink and not the toliet. What ever I had eaten since I start drinking was now in the sink and clogging it up good. And for those of you with weak stomaches you might want to close your eyes now and skip ahead a little.
About all I had in me was cheese, for some reason I had found some cheese in the fridge and decided to eat it. Lets just say when you vomit up cheese it pretty much looks the same on the way up as it did on the way down, just all in one big mass. It was clogging up the sink big time and I knew I could not let that go down the drain. I scooped it out with my hands and threw it in the toliet. Again, why I did not just hug the bowl like all other times is beyond me. But again I was not exactly thinking straight, Lent was not over yet and like I said in an earlier post I had given up thinking for Lent. part .......after the mess in the bathroom was over I ended up in bed and all seemed ok with the world.
The next moring was not too bad, my mouth was dry and I was thirsty as hell. It felt and tasted like someone had shit in my mouth but besides that I was not to bad off. I had to drop off the oldest son so I had to get up and make breakfast. Eggs and ham was on the menu which came off without much of a problem. After I dropped him off I got coffee, stopped by the local hardware store for a new propaine tank(which I was suprised it was open and full of ppl buying construction supplies) and then off to the store to pick up a few Easter thingings.
The rest of the day consisted of the little woman and the MIL cooking up a storm for Easter diner, doing laundry and school work. It was a very good day with the exception of the wife unit glaring at me a few times. I was sorry for getting 'that' drunk so I made it up to her by making her squiell a little. I will not go into details about that to help spare the family member that reads this and not giving him nightmares of me rocking his sisters socks off ;-) But lets just say.........naw I think its better not to say haha.
But the food was fucking great! The diet was off this weekend and Easter diner was the topper that sent it spriling into a death spin. Home made raviollis, a side of cow that mowed as we chewed on it, salad and wine. Well, I did not drink any booze that day. I just wasnt in the mood for some reason.

I almost forgot, me and the kids went out back and fired off some illegal fireworks and smoke bombs. I bought them in Virgina on my way up from seeing Dougless. Anything fun like this is illegal in NJ but I dont think the smoke bombs are illegal just the nose makes I had were. But they were pretty weak fireworks just made lots of nose. The kids got a big kick out of them, we did not stay out too long it was toooo freakin cold! We did not even hide eggs this year, it was just tooooo cold.

While going through some old cd's I found this picture of me. I think this was taken somewhere between 1999 and 2000. I could not help but share this one. I have some more that I will share later this week I found for Weeman when he was the same age as Cheese is now. A little contrast and compair is in order here. As I look at those picks of Weeman it seems like a life time ago he was that small but really was only a few years ago. They really do grow up too fast.

Have a happy monday, and yes that last pic is for mornings and Mondays all in one.


Evil Pru said...

tequilla + any other alcohol= vomit

Scottsdale Girl said...

Plus you are OUT OF PRACTICE> Who drinks tequila shots when they are OUT OF DRINKING PRACTICE!

*slaps yer forehead*

guttergirl said...

I love that last picture. I think I have one of myself in a similar pose.
Happy Easter.

morbid misanthrope said...

Whenever a guy drinks a girl drink, cosmos in your case, the gods of booze punish him mightily for his blasphemy. Vomiting in unusual places and erratic behavior are good examples of punishment from the gods of booze. It can be much more severe, though, so you were lucky (and highly amusing, to be sure).

Sometimes, however, the gods of booze punish with extreme anger. Much like when a certain someone drank a scooby snack the bartender gave him on the house when he turned 24. Shortly thereafter, the ancient and powerful gods of booze smote his pancreas. That's some Lovecraftian shit right there.

honkeie2 said...

evil: now if I could only do math I would not have been in the pickle i was in.

girl: yes I was very out of practice....very

gutter: strike a pose and show whos number one!

morbid: I knew it I knew the way whats a scooby snack?

morbid misanthrope said...

I think it was some kind of insidious mix of Malibu, Midori, pineapple juice, and cream. I knew I was fucked when I realized that particular shot tasted like candy. The gods of booze were not placated by shots of 151, either. Damned merciless ancients.

Just Some Gal said...

patron is the best ever. however..puking in the sink might have had me puking with you. lol

Happy belated birthday.

Nikky said...

I will never forget the night I found my husband passed out in the bathroom, shorts around his ankles,he was stretched out(face down, thank god)the full length of the room, after a 'night out with the boys'... I wonder what he drank to piss off the gods of booze?
But at least now you know, and you will NEVER do that again, will you? (who are we kidding, right?)

prettykitty said...

well, don't feel too bad. at least you threw up in your own sink and not in the toilet of your friend's next door neighbor. i guess everyone had the idea that tequila was an easter tradition. the only thing is, i don't drink hard liquor, which entices people to make you drink it.

Becky said...

Lovely drunk picture with the bottle and shot glass in hand, just classic.

Glad to hear you had an entertaining easter, but i'm sorry for your wife, lol. It's no fun babysitting a drunk.

Martini said...

We saw a bottle of rum in Venezuela that cost just over $400. And it was just sitting on a shelf, beside some other piss that cost $3.75. It was weird.