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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Ahhhh Monday

Finally, the weekend is over and I can get some rest. This weekend was a very busy one to say the least.

I am pissed I did not have my camera with me to tell the tale in pictures but thats ok....the batteries were dead anyway.

On Saturday I decided to wash my car and wax it. Then I got the brillant idea to rotate my tires myself. I was not about to shell out 80$ to have some grease monkey move my tires for me. Well all went to plan until I got to the last tire. I took the tire off with no problem, since I do not have a lift in my home I had to use those damn crappy ones that come with the car. But I do have a set of two ton jack lifts so that did help.

I got the tire off and cleaned it from back to front. I even used a scrubbing pad to get all the road tar and grim off. But once I got to the tire I noticed a nail in it. I could not ignore the fact I had a nail in my tire and feared it would come out at some bad moment and leave me with a flat. So I did what any good mechanically retarded person would have done: I pulled it out. The moment I did this the hiss of air could be heard across the yard. But to my luck my wives car was there, so I hoped in and drove over to the ghetto garage. A local little bodega of a garage that can be good but can also be very bad. They do well with simple things and let us slide sometimes on paying right away. But on overly complicated car stuff they suck, using stolen parts can be a bad thing at times lol. But I figured they could plug a tire........and I was right.

The little woman said to just go and buy a new tire.......ummmm no! I was not about to have an unevenly balanced car with one new tire and besides a plug would proove to be cheaper by far. I get to the garage (with the tire still hissing) and the guy said it would cost 10$ and take about 5 minutes. SOLD!

With a newly plugged tire in hand I head back to put the last of my tires on. I was almost finished when I noticed I put the same tire back in the same place; instead of them being rotated they ended up back in there original starting postitions. But lucky for me I had yet to take the jack off so all I had to do was take the bolts off again and switch them up. (Did anyone catch that I said 'jack off' without laughing hahahaha-well almost)

Tires washed, rotated and tightly locked into place I was all set. Task done, but with a price. The next day was to be one of the worst rain storms in almost 20 years, go me! But this did not worry me, I just wanted my car washed for once, it has been a while since I cleaned it this well. And hell, in the summer months to come I can do it again and again. But the next car has to be the wifes. I did clean the insided of her car, put the spare tire back in place under the car and put the seat back in. So that pleased the guardian of happiness.

Now onto the house work......which by the way never got completely done. The never ending battle is still waging on!

The next bit of news will probably tickle the women a bit (not in the way a well place tongue can tickle but a tickle never the less). We went to our WeightWatchers meeting on Sunday. We did not go last due to the holiday of the great white bunny that lays eggs. And I am sad to report I have gained 7lbs back. I did not take it to bad mainly because of well my cloths fit. I have been hitting the wieghts at the gym hard so I just chalked it up to mucle weight......but I really do not think I packed on 7 pounds of meat in 2 weeks.....that is a fun thought but not rational. I know where I went wrong and I am about to fix that! I am back on my points like a pimp on his bitch! I am going to slap that sheet into shape, so far I am doing fine and I am on track with my points.

The little woman gained a pound but she should not feel bad, she too has been hitting the gym pretty hard. I have to give her credit, she has been going to the gym all by herself with little to no pushing. She is starting to like it and I hope she sticks with it. I keep the kids at home while she goes to the gym and hits the tredmills. I am going to try and get her onto the weights sometime next week to get her body in high gear. Maybe we can both be beach sexy by summer time. I know I will be, now all I have to do is get her in the same boat. I will just have to watch it with her......skinny body big boobs equals evil college guys drolling.

Oh I almost forgot to metion how bad the rain really is. I had to take 2 detours this morning to get to work due to road closures. The water is out of freakin control out here!
Have a great Monday, stay dry and avoid pulling nails out of your tires.


Nikky said...

Thanks for admitting to the nail thing... been there, done that AND felt really dumb. Nice to know that guys can do dumb car stuff, too!
Continued good luck to you and Mrs feelingstoopid on the weight loss. Mine just went to hell in a handbasket as my Girl Scout cookies arrived yesterday (ordered them before I decided to buckle down and lose weight...) Now what is a girl supposed to do with 12 boxes of thin mints? Really?

morbid misanthrope said...

I don't have a car, so, unfortunately, I can't relate to your situation. You see, I float around on a black cloud made of my own sense of self-worth and other various ninja magics. I don't need a car.

However, I was present when this one guy got a flat, put on his spare to drive to a gas station, realized the spare was also flat, and drove several miles with a flat tire going only a few miles per hour to avoid further damage to his car. He also had a hard time changing his tire because his jack was, well, jacked. Thankfully, a meth dealer in a big ol' truck had a functioning car jack he shared.

Carie said...

the last 3 times we had nails in our tires they were unfortunatly on the sidewall so we had to replace them lol...and everytime he bought all new so they didn't feel outta whack when he drove lol...expensive I tell ya to replace the tires on the truck lol...

K said...

Visions of me being 20 and having my Dad's car for a month while he was away came flashing back. I got a nail stuck in the tire the DAY BEFORE I had to give it back to him. I love tire plugs!!! LOVE! They are my non-sexual lover.

Martini said...

I used to have an '87 Jeep YJ (wrangler), and when I sold it, the mechanic doing the certification showed me the rear Goodyear tire which had two huge screws, a nail, a construction staple and a 1-inch long piece of green glass all stuck in it - and it didn't leak.

Off-road tires rule. Car tires blow. Haha! Pun not intended.

honkeie2 said...

nikky: I have done so many car no-no's I am too ashamed to admit... ;)...And if you need help eating cokkies I am the man, just give me a place to send my address to!

morbid: I sometimes wished I did not 'need' a car. But I am all american in the sense of my love for gas and oil.

carie: just one of many reasons i will never own a truck.....well not until I am rich anyway

k: so you enjoy getting plugged by a greasy man .....hmmmmm

martini: I wonder how long that nail was in my tire before i noticed it? But the moment I saw it I could not let it stay there lol.