This past weekend was a snowy and busy. On Saturday I took the boys out to a hunting/camping expo at the Raritan Expo Center in Edison NJ. But first we stopped by to get the brother-in-law to see his new toy that he got from the navy man.
He sent him something called 'Skyrunners' its the newest thing from over seas to break your neck with. I cannt really put into words what they are so here take a look------SkyRunners
Now that video makes it look sooooo easy, just like all videos you have ever seen of ice skating, snow boarding, in line skates and skate boards. But the reality of it is they are hard as hell, standing up right was a battle in itself. If it had not been for the ceiling I would have been on my ass. It took 2 people to get me up and just one face plant on the couch to get down.
I foresee a trip to the hospital this summer!
Now, once we got to the expo it was pretty much the run of the mill stuff. Hunting stuff, fishing stuff and other things men do to avoid going home to the wife. They also had the usual man games like shoot the terrorist. Here we have Devon and Alan waiting for there turn to get some trigger time.
I did the best out of everyone. If it was cheaper I might have tried again but this time aim higher.
How politically incorrect is that!?!
We then moved onto the next shooting toy, the bow. Alan didn't do to bad, I wanted to try but this was for kids only.....I want to shot too damn it. I promise not to turn around and shot anyone!
One of the people working the archery table was this chick and her dog. She has affirmed my resolution to come back as a dog when I die. I swear I want to come back as a dog!
There were all kinds of literature about where to fish, how to conserve the wilderness, but my favorite was The Bear Fact. If you should attempt to feed a wild bear and run out of food be prepared to have the bear tear off your arms looking for more.
There were many booths set up for safaris in Africa, you to can be Hemingway and go out and blow beautiful animals brains out. I want to bag me a gazelle at 500 yards in the safety of a bomb proof bunker. Hell want I really wanted to see was an outing that let you hunt poachers, I would totally come back with me a stuffed head!
Below we have some fish they said they caught last night on one of their fishing outings. Maybe its just me but when I see my fish I dont want to see its head and gills. All I want to see is breading and french fries!
There were all kinds of all terrain vehicles but this bike too the cake. It isnt a Harley but it was still freaking awesome. You might want to make sure you are strong enough to pick it up if it should fall. This thing was a beast!
Here we have the pre-fab log cabins that they would build and locate anywhere in the USA for you. They were only $51,000 which really is not a bad price. Considering that a shit house in this part of NJ can run you almost $500,000! And that is with no yard, high property taxes, no room and more rules about what you cannt do on your own property.
One of the draw backs to this house is it only had one closet and it was just big enough for me to stand in to take this picture.
It had 3 bedrooms, a bathroom and that tiny ass closet. The main front room was the living room, dinning room and kitchen all in one. I would totally live in one of these!
With most shows like this there are few women worth eye humping, but there were a few......ass one can see below. Most of the women that did attend the show on their own free will were rather scary. I am sorry but camo, hunter orange and blue bib coveralls are not the sexiest things a woman could wear.
We spent a good bit of time going from one RV to another, wondering "Could I live here?" In this picture we see the 2 male teens wondering "How many bitchs can I fit in here?"
The only down side to most of them was that the bathrooms were designed for people with out legs. For me to pop a squat on this bowl I would have had to stand on the lid and then closed the door so that my knees did not bang into the door.
This was taken in one of the bigger crap houses! It also cost almost $100,00!
They come with everything one would ever need....even a kitchen sink!
After we were done jumping on just about everything they had to offer we ran over to see a few shows. Animal show with monkeys, exotic birds, alligators, and even a hyena! Here we have the monkey who was in love with his big-bird toy.
They even had birds of prey. This little guy was the coolest looking one. It was about the size of a softball! But as cutie and cuddly as he looked I bet he would claw out your eyes in a heartbeat!
After that we saw the last show of the day, the lumber jacks! The guy in the red flannel shirt was about as lumber jack as one could get! The flannel shirt, jeans, boots, double headed axe and a beard! The only thing that did not fit was that he looked so young, in about 20 years and 15 scars later he will look damn near Paul Bunion!
I wanted to do this on Monday but work was and still is going full tilt, I started this about 0800 this morning and it is now 1320 hrs in the after noon. And yes I know giving military time and then stating the time of day was redundant but I have been so used to dealing with retards I tend to treat everyone around me like the people in my office lol.