Total Pageviews

About Me

My photo
I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

God Damn Mother Fucking Peice of Shit....

Ok now that I have that out this is take two of a post I was 2 sentences away from being done with. And you know what killed it....Twilight! I was looking up some information about the characters in the movie when the site I was on froze. So I just left it alone and went about my blogging. Little did I know that since the site crashed it took out my connection with my blog. And for some reason nothing I did on my blog was saved, even the stuff i did before I went to that site. On more reason the hate that fuck-tart of a movie! I am so pissed I even forgot what sent me to that site in the first place!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok I am over it so let me see if I can post my original blog about my evening out with just myself and the wife.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Last Friday night we went to a fancy restaurant in Rosselle Park, NJ called Solar Do Minho. Some high class Portuguese restaurant that my wife had been to with some co-workers a few months back. It was a little fancier than the places I am used to, what the fuck do you need so many spoons and forks for? Does your salad know you are stabbing it with the wrong utensil or something? But any way, I can have class when I want to; so I put on my best 'I am rich so serve me you bitch' face on and went out.

The decor in the place was very nice, and if I ever win the lottery I am going to have my house done up like this. But with a little bit more of a Tim Burton flare I think.


At the table we were at they had the wall to the kitchen done in a manner so one could watch the little people at work. I am sorry, but when I am out playing Mr. Monopoly I do not want to see the workers sweating on my meal! I know it happens but I don't want to see how the good salt is added to spice things up!


The wife wanted me to smile like a normal person for the camera, I was somewhat successful with this one:


But then again I was not completely successful!


This picture took 3 takes, the first one was of just the girls which lead to the next shot of her giving me the look of death then when I told her to smile I got this one. She doesn't care that I do the boobie shots be she didn't want a whole night of our 7 year wedding anniversary diner of her knockers. What? They love the camera!


The food here was so-so in my book. Way over priced for something I could have gotten better at a Red Lobster, and they have buffalo wings at Red Lobster!
We got shrimp in garlic suace (11.00) as an appitizer, which was very good but the main course fell well below par.
I ordered lobster tails, stuffed with crab meat (39.50)and the wife a steak dish(29.00). My lobster was rubbery and not all that, but the stuffing was good. The wife's steak was....well a steak. We did get a pitcher of white sangria, which I later found out cost $22! And to add insult to injury it had more ice than fruit!!!! Who the hell started this trend with ice and booze? I ordered a red bull and vodka once at this bar and asked for no ice. The bartender said I would be charged double. I shit you not, the same drink with no ice was going to cost me twice the amount. I now refuse to go to bars sober, if there is an outing that requires a stop at the bar I refuse to go in sober. I will take my $10 for one drink and walk a block to the liquor store and get me a whole fucking bottle!
Then after that we got dessert, the wife had a chocolate mouse that was more like death by mouse(6.50):


I had a chocolate and raspberry mouse served in a chocolate bowl with some artsy fartsy design on it. It took all of my power not to pick up the plate and lick it, hell if I am paying for it I am eating it!(7.50)


In the end we spent a whooping $153 in all! Our waiter, Lurch was not the best we have ever had. We had to flag him down half the time because most of his attention was on the large party that came in after us. But I cant really blame him there, that tip for that table was going to make his night!
But in all the night out alone with just the 2 of us was well worth the cost of the meal and we had a wonderful night. I do not recommend this place and will never go back....unless I am invited and eating on someone else's bill.
Other thing that happened this weekend is that we gave our 5 year old his first laptop....did you hear me our 5 year old has a laptop! It was my old Gateway that went to shit about 2 years ago. It has been in our closet ever since but last Monday the wife gave it to one of her IT gods at her job. He was able to breath life into it and even add a few new toys to it. It now has a wireless Internet connector thingie in it. So he can now play online in his room at cartoon network and surf for hot girls his age. Wait.....that did not sound right...so forget about that part, we need to get us some blockers on it now lol.

He took to this thing faster than a blind politician bitching about 'seeing' an SNL skit about him. I mean he knew how to work the mouse, how to get to games and everything. I am not sure but I think kinds now can learn by osmosis!

This is part of the reason I keep up with what goes on around us, so I can keep in the know with what my kids know. I am not saying I am going to be the dad trying to speak to my son in his slang of the day but I also don't want to be like my ex. And not know about some of the simple things that make up her sons world. Like not knowing what Emo is, she really did not know but our 12 year old son sure knows. He is not emo but it is part of his little world.
Here is a little test for parents of teens out there to see how 'with it' you are. I know I am not the hippest thing since adults learned about kids using banana peels to get high but I think I keep some what up to date.
Do you know what these are or how they pertain to you teens world:
  1. Emo
  2. Text Language: LOL, STFU, BFF, WTF, ROTFL
  3. The Shocker, The Rocker or even The Spocker
  4. Twilight
  5. Tweaking
  6. Shoes, as having to deal with cars
  7. Youtube
  8. Parkour
  9. Myspace,Facebook,Tweeter,Stickam or even Friendster
  10. WoW, as in the game.....

For each one you know give yourself 2 points, for everyone you dont know take away one point.

If you scored a 20 the odds are you know a few more than me so please dont make fun of me for using old fads or words.

If you got at lest 17 points not bad but I think you need to spend more time at the mall listing to young girls talk. But dont be to obvious about it, you might end up on a soon-to-be-sex-offenders watch list.

And anything less that that you might need to got to UrbanDictionary.com and look up some of these. Because the odds are you son has given you the shocker in just about every photo you have taken of him. One more thing.......if you dont know what myspace is go stand infront of a slow moving train and just die. Because you are so far behind the curve we are about to lap you!

11 comments:

Becky said...

Yes, fancy schmancy restaurants visits are strictly reserved for anniversaries and even then I'd rather take a trip somewhere with all of the damn money you spend on the food. I ate at one of them before and the sauteed steak was off the chain but my appetizer was horrible. If there is a wine connoisseur guy at the restaurant, I am just not interested.

Carie said...

I am not a fan of the fancy restaurants lol I have a problem with food so I stick with the places I know have a menu I can eat from lol...but it looked really nice and your wife looked really happy :)

I knew all the teen things lol, maybe thats because I have a teen, I work with kids or maybe just cause I am a goober like that and all the kids talk to me like I am a kid lol...I am a lucky mom with a talkative daughter so she lets me know what it all means, that and ya pick alota stuff up living in the hood lol

Finding my way said...

At least you had a nice night out.

My 3 year old son can go online all by himself and play games and stuff. I was just as shocked as you. But I did slap some controls on there as soon as I could.

~Sheila~ said...

You are sooo right about Twilight. I should have read the book first so that I wouldn't be ruined on watching the movie. The kids and I sat around at home watching it last night. (don't ask)
The lead actresses acting was HORRIBLE. I can't believe this movie is so popular. It sucked. Dom loved it. I have to show him "Interview with a Vampire" so he knows what good movies are.

That whole dinner part was super funny. Artsy Fartsy..cracked me up.
I'm with you on the booze too. Can't be paying too much for stuff like that. I just go to Mexico.

Kids learn EVERYTHING fast.
Except how to clean their room, wash the dishes, sweep, wash their asses...etc.

♥SaV♥ said...

I think I sent you to the Twilight page....my bad! :)

I'm not so great with "fancy" stuff...I'm a farm girl, so no matter HOW many spoons you give me...I'll STILL be a farm girl..

Cannon has a computer too..and LOVES it! He found some music on it..some WEIRD some that comes built in for Windows Media Player, it's called, Like Humans do...and theres a weird moaning in it that he walks around the house and does...creepy yo!

AND...as far as those things I should know about go...I scored an 11...does that make me special! OH, and we call "the shocker" the violator...

You forgot to mention "smoking the pinky"....

Capricorn said...

Your uhm..title...its spelled 'Piece'. You know, I before E, except AFTER C. Im a dork, and Im shutting up now.

Prunella Jones said...

I knew everything on your list except for number 8. Never heard of that one. Oy vey, I must be getting old.

Becky said...

I have never heard of 3, 5, or 8 on that list of yours. And I am a freaking college student.

Samantha said...

I've never heard of no. 5, and I'm still young and hip. I think :s

Martini said...

I think I'd be proud as hell if I ever ran up a bill that high at a restaurant with my wife. oh, btw, what the hell is Parkour? I guess I'll have to google that.

Joe Tornatore said...

haven't been on your blog in awhile. got a little caught up...and the breast is history. lol