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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, December 12, 2008

Friday and pictures......

Well as I mentioned eariler I did loose one pound, I was a little affraid that our little trip to my wife's company party would add one instead. But I must say the only bad thing I did at the party, food wise, was the booze. Here is a picture of one of my many plates of food. Sushi, clams, oysters and some Sakie.....Sock it to me!

I did hit the ground running before I got to the food. I had 3 gin and tonics and a green apple martini before we even got to our tables. I was on a misson damn it. I knew that was going to be my last booze fest so I took full advanatge of it! But with all the liquid happiness come the need to break the seal. I lasted a good 40 minutes before running to the potty. About 5 more tonics and 2 shots of Johnny Walker Black, no Blue wtf!
But it wasnt all the booze, it was mainly from the water I drink at work. I drink about a gallon of water at work. It helps keep the food moster in me at bay, and when I say I have a food monster in me I mean I have a MONSTER!

Here we have a picture of what one would see if they were to look up while on the john. One sure fire way to tell you are in a high end place is by the bathrooms. The stales werent stales, they were little rooms with real doors and music playing. There was no worring about making noise or hoping no one sees you doing lines of coke off the toliet seat. Not that I have any inside knowledge of that......

You could even peek out of the slitts in the door to see if there was anyone around to hear you light the crack pipe or the gurgle of the bong. But the down side is that it would be really hard to get the attention of the dude in the next stale to let him know that you are a politician who wants a BJ.

Now, one of the side effects of booze is that people suddenly think they can dance. And even I will admit to that one, but this was my wife's work party so I kept my ass at my table! But I did wander around and take random pictures of what I saw. Here is a dance floor pic, nothing to really note here just people having fun.

Here is a random chow line picture. If the floor was a little more polished this might have been a really interesting picture haha!

Here we have the happy couple. More proof of why I am off the junk, look at my face! I am starting to look like John Travolta! And not the sexy Grease Travolta, more like the bloated crazy looking Pulp Fiction Travolta!

This is the wife unit and her boss. My wife says I have a crush on her, dude she's hot what can I say. My wife even used to joke about me going to see my 'girlfriend' whenever I would go to her old branch. They work in banking....ssshhhh......I cannt say which one because I dont want this info to get out there! But as far as saying I have a crush on her is a bit much, Hell I have a crush on any milf that comes in eye shot of me for crying out loud! And that includes women in blogspher ;)

And speaking of that I did get a picture of some random womans legs while wandering around in a drunkin haze. No clue who she was or is but she has a great set of legs! The kind that go all the way up too.

Now today me and the wife have reservation to this nice resturant, its our anniversay dinner. So I know how I am so today I am abusing myself. The last time I ate was at 10:30 last night, so far today all I have injested was 3 coffes, one tea and a shit load of water. I am testing my will power, I know I used to have it but as of late I cann't seem to find it. I know not eating is bad and wont be doing this on a regular basis but I need to fast a bit to do some cleaning of the gut.
And just so I dont end this post with me talking about food I will post this picture of something i found in the Bank of America's parking lot. It reminds me of this really old joke that I have passed on to my brother in law and oldest son. I hope they keep it going, I learned it when I was in the 5th grade, yes I have been nasty and vulgar for a very long time.
Joke of the day:
This guy and his girlfriend were bumping uglies like they were trying to light a fire in his 3 floor apartment. He was a little backed up so at the momment of truth the condom he was using shot off his junk. To his dismay it flew out the window and landed right out side the front door of his building. He did not want his junk out on the side and asked the kid that was standing on the corner to bring it to him.
"Hey kid I will pay you 5$ to bring that up to my room."
"what is it?"
In his hast all he could think of was,
"Its a twinkie, yeah I dropped my twinkie. Bring it back and I will pay you."
The little boy was thrilled at the thought of getting five bucks for doing much of nothing. So he did it and ran to tell his friends.
As he approached them he started laughing waving the bill in the air. His friends asked,
"whats so funny?"
And to that he replied,
"This guy just gave me 5 dollars to bring his twinkie back up to his place but I got him, I sucked out the cream before I gave it back!"
Now that I have ruined you day here is the picture that brought this little peice of childhood back to the surface:


Finding my way said...

That looks like a great party.

And that joke...ummm wow.

(to follow up on a comment, you have done all the other commandments?)

~Sheila~ said...

Talk about a high class party.
Wow. I don't even have a prom dress to wear to one of those.

That joke was hilarious. I should have known that was coming.

Finding my way said...

So noted. And you can ramble away. Unless they start limiting blog space, then I would tell you to shut the hell up.

Prunella Jones said...

I always fast after a night of debauchery and before big dinners too. It's good to give your stomach a break now and then.

What is it about fifth grade? I think I heard that joke around then as well.

♥SaV♥ said...

Wow! I'm REALLY bummed now that I wasn't invited! I LOVE those kinds of parties! I missed mine last night because I'm dying or I'm kinda bummed!

The joke was...just so very wrong!! Poor kid....*sigh*

Mimi said...

Wow, what a party. It would be fun to get all dressed up for a change. I lost 7 pounds this week, but not the way you did it. You'll have to check my blog and see what I got hubby for his bday.
The joke did not surprise me, but it was still gross/funny.

Martini said...

That is one high class shitter. Impressive. I wouldn't mind hanging out there all night - it actually encourages binge drinking.