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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Monday, July 28, 2008

I have said it before.........

.........and it is time to say it again: I am done drinking for a while. I have been drinking alot lately and this past Firday was bad. And the funny thing it was totally unplanned, I almost always get drunk on purpose. Meaning that I knew I was going to end up sleeping on the couch and by all means planned for it. It is a well thought out process as the what to eat, when I will start drinking, what I will be wearing and how I am getting home. But this past Firday caught be by complete suprise.

As usual I made an ass out of myself, almost got run over by some douche bag on a dirt bike, went running up and down the street ringing people door bells and walking slowly way, fell over and hid behind a grill and woke up on the couch with no real idea how I got there.

This was not one of the worst drunkin outings I have had but I did have to pick my son up the next morning. And then his mother had car trouble so I ened up driving all the way to Branchburg from Elizabeth. That is a little over an hour drive there, I was somewhat sober when I went and not really all that hung over but boy was I dizzy. That drive seemed to last days instead of hours. That night of drinking was not prepared properly and one of the problems came about because I was not eating and had not eaten most of the day. So by the time I got to the shots I should have known I was in a world of hurt.

I did not throw up and did not break anything but I did have to be carried into the house by my neightbor, who by the way was the reason I was drinking and drank so much. It was all his idea to break out the tequilla, I swear!

The wife unit was not happy with me but I smoothed it all out and things luckily did not go horribly wrong. Beer and tequilla drunk is a bad drunk for me, it turns my asshole levels waayyy up and I often do really stoopid things. It is strange how different forms of the same product have different effects.

I am going to list a few drinks and what has come out of them:


Beer has to be one of the safest forms of alcohol, but in large doses has been known to cause slurred speech, teary eyed confessions of 'I Love you man', uncontrolable fits of laughing, the notion you are stronger than a mac truck and many hours of pearing down the bowl of a toliet.


This strange shot makes me angry, not violent because I dont have a violent bone in my body but it does bring up the angry white guy in me. I have been known to run through a crowd of teenagers at a metal concert with my arms swinging and laughing. If you plan on going to a concert with a pit this is a must have.


Ahhhh my favorite drink of them all, next to beer. This one puts me in a super calm mood and often makes me grin like a fool for most of the time. Another safe one in my book, just as long as there isnt any mixing going on.

Girly Drinks (fuzzy navel, sex on the beach and such)-

Put me in a funny mood but always give me wierd dreams and I dont fell right for days. One or two I can handle but getting drunk on these sugary, limp wristed forms of booze has never been my thing.

Whiskey/burbon/Teqilla/and any other form of booze that can be used to clean car parts-

The stronger the drink the least likely I am to get drunk on it. I am not much for drinking things that make you blind seconds after swallowing them. Like Biccardi burns from the time it hits your gums to the time you are throwing it back up.

There are a few more but its Monday and I am working on 4 hours of sleep. Thanks to the jack ass the got to work 2 hours late last night. But I did get to catch up on my viewing of this TV show called Wipeout, if you have now see it go to youtube and check it out. It is some funny shit.

Like I said I am on the wagon; now I am not saying I wont have a beer here or there but beyond that I am cutting myself off on the drunkin nights and dizzy mornings. And besides, watching people get drunk is just as much fun because you get to be the fucker instead of the fuckie!


Becky said...

Well good for you! You so remind me of my brothers, 3 out of 4 of them really like to drink and damn are they funny, until I end up babysitting them. Sounds like a good time to quit before your neighbors all start hating your ass!

I did giggle when I read that you ring their doorbells and walk away slowly. Wish I was there to see it! If we lived closer to each other I'm sure we'd run in the same circle.

Girl on the Run... said...

Good For you! Drinking, spewing and the gosh awful headaches so not worth it! Kick back enjoy a beer or two and watch the idiots kiss there porcelin promises to God! lol

Good Luck! M

Girl on the Run... said...

PS. I know your a guy but I'm putting together a super list of women who inspire... please... when your head's not so fuzzy drop me a name or three or pass the word and I'll be happy to add them to the list!


honkeie2 said...

Becky: being the sober one can be a real bummer. Babysitting drunks is an adventure in itself!

girl: I will keep it in mind as I wander around.

Hey anyone up for some mid-week drinks?