About Me

My photo
I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, November 30, 2007

Ahhhh Tits Friday beotchs!

I am currently at work on the midnight shift (which I just found out might cause cancer) doing a weeks worth of school work. One of the joys of online skooling is that you can do a whole semester in one shot if you are so inclined. Smoke some meth and go into over hyper-drive and do 9 weeks worth of work in 2 days. And it is possible, but I am not that driven. I already did all of this weeks work in 2 days on a night shift. I started it on Tuesday and by Wednesday I had a weeks worth of posting and typing done for 2 classes. The reason for this push is that I am going to Dallas, TX this Sunday for the next week for some training. It is work related so it isnt a vacation but I will have some time to myself. Which most likely will be taken up with working out and school. I am so pissed at myself, i have not worked out in almost 3 weeks and I feel like shit. I have been keeping my food intake some what low so I dont turn in a man with MooBies......what are moobies you ask, well here let me show you:

Now I know not everyone can be sexy and moobie free but for me getting moobies is out of the question!

If anyone in any yahoo group that is for 'lesbians only and by invite only' think that the host is that hot lipstick lesbian....I news for you, this is the 'woman' you seek. Notice his moobies:

More water less food, if only he knew about that secret years ago:





Extreme cases are rare, well I thought they were until I went to the beach this summer:



And as embarassing as they are there are some ppl that reval in the fact they have moobies. God bless you little over worked heart. Now go home to you chat room where you are known the world over as HotterDanHell69.


I know I used to do a TITS FRIDAY post with nothing but hott tig ol' bitties and I might again but this is what is running through my mind at the moment. Not to mention the fucked up dreams I have been having lately. Insomnia induced dreams have to be the worst. You go to sleep and wake up more tired. The one I just had was about me trying my best to get somewhere, I dont know where I was going I just knew I had to get there. I woke up feeling like I had been running for the past 5 hours, instead of trying to get some sleep to help me with this midnight shift. Man, I woke up feeling really weird and yes at several points in the dream I found myself naked looking for cloths. And as with all other naked dreams I have no one else noticed I was nude. Werid werid!
Now, sleep or not I have to get my shit in a row tommorow. The limo picks me up at 1000hrs on Sunday, and yes I said L I M O. Because I am that hot! Dont you wish you boyfriend was hot like me!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

yeah yeah yeah, its late.....

(caution this post has balls and illegal drugs)

But I have been busy...same old song and dance but this time with a little twist. I will get to the twist in a minute. Lets start from thanksgiving and work our way up.


Thanksgiving was held at our new apartment, which isnt all that new anymore but it was our first on our own. I have pics but I just relaized they are on the wife's camera, we have the exact same camera and I grabbed mine this morning. Sorry the mind is too fuzzy these days. But all went well, no burnt food or any big problems. Too much food, too much drink.....does anyone else still need a nap?

The next night was a continuation of celerbrations. Navy man came up with his 'friend' and we all went out to the club-QXT's. The funny thing about that night was the fact that I did not drink much; but still ened up dancing like a spaztic white guy with some neurological disorder. But then again if anyone were to look around they would have seen that maybe one person there had any rythm! It was weird, i was on my 3rd beer and all of a sudden i felt like throwing up.....I know all the signs of the 'I have had 3 too many and I am about to blow' feelings and they were all there. But what I could not figure was WHY? I guess it was my body revolting agaist anything else going in.

Well, I took the cue and stopped drinking. But Navy-man and his friend did not seem to share my probelm. Lets just say she ended up on the floor several times and did not remeber much the next day.....I love drunk chicks! I am waiting for some pics of that night from the Navy-man...Doug if you are reading this email the tooo me. I promise to keep the ones of you getting tea bagged off the internet ;-P

And just incase you are one of the few who have no idea what getting 'TeaBagged' means, here is a visual.......your welcumed!



But one thing of interest happened while we were about to leave. And we actually staid to 0200, I feel I had to mention that lol. But what happened was this. I am a huge troll when it come to finding things that ppl leave behind; Scarves, hats, wallets, tips on the bar left untaken, lighters and any other random items. And it gets worse as I drink. I have stolen soooo many things from ppl's houses it isnt even funny. But this night I did not steal, vandalize or molest anything/one but I did find something. At first I just thought it was a cool little bag with the Toyota sign on it, but upon inspection I found this inside:





Yes it is what it looks like. It was a freak big old bud, ripe for the smokin, or so I thought. I was torn on smoking it/telling the wife. I really wanted to but because of the stigma of our society about it I did not. I was just going to throw it out but I had to open it and have a little smell. It was just as I remebered, but what I found out about this wonderous little baggie was that who ever bought this got burned. It was nothing but stems and seeds. There was hardly any bud on this thing, it sure looked good from the outside but taking a closer look anyone could see this was some yardie ass shit.

Yardie: (n) Any type of MJ that is more sticks and seeds than smokable fun. Crappy Tobaccy that has more grass clippings than herb.
-And for the record I have been clean for some time now, still drinking but that is still legal-





The rest of the weekend was pretty calm and normal. The wife unit put up our tree, and yes it isnt real. But then again neither is Santa or Christianity.
---------------------------------


----------------------------


------------------------
---------------------
-----------------
-------------
---------
------
---

Ohhhhh I bet that pissed someone off....I was just joking about that last part, I just wanted to see if anyone was really reading this. I am not agaist christianity or any religion, if it makes you happy and I dont find some wacko knocking on my door in a white shirt and a blue tie trying to sell me on their ideas of fantasy island and the world of make-believe I am ok with it.


I am all for xmass and all the wonderous things it stands for. Peace on earth, good will towards men/women and all that jazz. But this doe remind me of a sign I saw on this uber christian house on Halloween. It read: We are Christians and do not celebrate Halloween. Please respect our believes.
I was soooo tempted to put a little stick-it note that said: I am not Christian but I celebrate Christmass, Easter and any ohter day set aside for the christian faith. Please respect my belief in egging your house for not giving out candy you tight ass.

But enough of the negative stuff, here are some festive pics of our fake little twee:

During the dressing:


After the dress:


Now the tree is a few balls short of what it started with. We have a toddler who loves shiney objects and thinks everything can bounce. I told the wife unit that the bottom of the tree will be bare by the time Santa comes around to doing his usual breaking and entering routine.

Now to put into why my busy life has a bit of a twist: i am leaving this Sunday to go for training for my job in Dallas, Texsas. I could have sworn I had another week but as I found out on Monday, I am leaving this weekend! I have done more work in these past few days than I have done all month. I did a weeks worth of skool work in 2 days, I printed out over 100 pages of reports, I have set the scheduel up for the next week and I have done almost all of the laundry. I have been busy as a beaver.......what they hell does that mean? The last beaver I saw just sat there looking at me from the couch, it really never looks all that busy?!?! I am currently looking up internet cafes in the area I will be staying at just in case they do not have an internet connection at my hotel. I hope they do I will have to look up on that as well.

But I am now off to do more shit in the short days I have left before I head off to the land I was born to. And the funny thing, I have not been back since lol.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Drunk and blogging

Its wednesday, i think. I have already done 40 hours for the week so to celebrate I bought me a 6 pack of coors...and not the light kind either!
I am on about my fourth, now I really should be going to sleep. I have been awake now for 24 hours and feeling drunk and werid. I am feeling like a million dollars though. i have not eatin anything since 1pm so all that is in my tummy is yummy beer, i feel like a baby with his baba!
On side effect of the beer is my cough isnt so bad. It isnt cleared up but its better, i will drink more during colds for now on. This is a shit post and I know it but I will be very busy tommorow between food and skool I will not be able to comein!
Happy T day PPl eat till you puke and go back for more!

My love/hate of Insomnia:

Ever since I got married at 19 I have suffered/loved insomnia. It worked to my advanatage in those days because I was working some screwed up shifts and 2 jobs. My main job I worked in a hospital cafeteria 10am to 7pm and a night job as a vallet 11pm to 7am. I was the only one working, stay home mom never had any real desire to do much of anything (12 years later and she still does but that is another story for another blog entry lol). My day job had to be the best slacker job ever, I used to drink on the job all the time. I used to think that was messed up until i caught just about everyone else doing the same thing. We were all a buch of rejects, and I swear some of the peopel there could not read, sad sad place. The night job wasnt any better, nothing better than learning how to drive manual on rich old ppls cars drunk out of your mind. I never crashed any cars but I did pass out behind the wheel the moment I got a car parked once, I am soo lucky I worked the devils hours lol. I was the only one on the vallet shift so it was me and 7 under ground levels of high priced cars and a box full of the keys! I learned what a power-slide is, that down shifting is, and how to do a doughnut......never never give you car to a vallet, I might be the asshole getting your car! And dont leave pot in your car, because when I steal it you cannt call the cops and tell them someone stole your drugs....hahahahah(true story)


This was a very bad time for me, I kept a journal during those days. I wrote in it after a really bad fights with the wife, which ment I wrote in this thing often. I was depressed, I was angry and I felt I was losing myself. It was because of that last thought that made me leave, well actually made her leave we were living in the upstair apartment at my moms house-she had to leave muahahahhaah! My theme song for my life at that time was the song Hurt by NIN, I still get emotional everytime I hear that song. Not as much as I did back then but it still gets me. I was literally going insane in those days, I was drinking and smoking more than I have ever in my life. And what makes that fact funny is that she had no idea that I was such a lush, shows how close we were!


It was not unitl I saw the movie Fight Club that I realized what was happening to me, without sleep humans become retarded and dangerous. I was not the same person back then I am now, I was always pissed and emtional. I felt like woman in that asspect ha! I am alot calmer now and not in the least depressed. New wife, new life, dont smoke, drink for the fun of it and a new outlook on things. The insomnia is still there but its different and does not affect me all the time. I can go months without an episode but then work will help that one out.


We are not down by 2 full timers and one part timer, and 2 of the shifts are the over night shift. I have been pulling doubles 3 times a week and then some for almost 3 weeks now. the sleep I do get is not the good kind and is currently being fucked with by my cough I have.





One of the side effects of no sleep is that my brian goes into overdrive in the sex and imagination department. I can do no armed push up these days and have crazy movies running through my head. And what I tend to notice is that you dont need drugs to get high, try not sleeping for 2 days and tell me if you dont feel high. I know its a high you have to work for, kind of like a runners high. You cannt get these highes from a needle or a bong, these natural highs have to worked on. I once went 3 days with no sleep and I swore I was not human for a while. Paranoid, manic, dazed and just a general werido. And then add booze to this animal and you will have one hell of a beast to tame.






And what is funny is that once you finally get sleep it like a recharge. And it only takes one good night of sleep to get me back to planet earth. One would think after 72 hours of no sleep you would need more than an 8 hour nap but that is about all you need. My insomnia has always been a hate/love kind of a thing, it can really work for me like right now but other times it sucks....like today when I was trying to get some emergency sleep. I got about 2 hours of sleep after doing 16 hours and going into another 16 hour shift. As of 3pm today I will have my 40 hours for the week and everything after that is overtime. Whooohooo!






You would be amazed at what I have been able to get done these past few weeks because of my lack of sleeping. I have kicked up my blogging almost back to my old levels, my skool is about as up to date as it has ever been, my work is so up to date I am starting to think my ADD is gone.....no way my ADD will be my freind to the very end! I have even started my writting for fun up again, I have started so many writing for fun projects, but never finished any of them. I have started a new one, but this time I am going to try and keep it small maybe just a short story. I would love to write a novel but then again I would also love to eat fast food and still have abs lol.

I am now off to skool to do a powerpoint presentation, write my short story, beat off, do paper work, probably blog some more and drink lots of coffee. And you are probably going to sleep and wake up with nothing done since last night. I am ahead of everyone!

Favorite tee shirt from those days:

I WILL SLEEP WHEN I AM DEAD
Did I mention that lack of sleep makes me feel....a little....evil......

Monday, November 19, 2007

One for the service men and women:

Oaths of Enlistment:

All persons, upon entering the Military Service and upon reenlistment are required to take the Oath of Enlistment. At one time the Oath of Enlistment was the same for all services. Due to changes in both society and the differing Military Branches, the Oath has undergone marked change and has been specifically tailored to each branch of the Military and their specific function. Here are the latest versions of the Oath of Enlistment as recently released by the Joint Chief's of Staff:

US AIR FORCE OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (State your name), swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES AIR FORCE because I know I couldn't hack it in the Army, because the Marines frighten me and I am afraid of water over waist deep. I swear to sit behind a desk. I also swear not to do any form of real exercise, but promise to defend our bike-riding test as a valid form of exercise. I promise to walk around calling everyone by their first name because I find it amusing to annoy the other services. I will have a better quality of life than those around me and will, at all times, be sure to make them aware of that fact. After completion of "Basic Training" I will be a lean, mean, donut-eating, lazy-boy sitting, civilian-wearing-blue-clothes, Chair borne Ranger. I will believe I am superior to all others and will make an effort to clean the knife before stabbing the next person in the back. I will annoy those around me, and will go home early every day. So Help Me God!
____________________________________________________
Signature Date


US ARMY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Rambo, swear to sign away 4 years of my mediocre life to the UNITED STATES ARMY because I couldn't score high enough on the ASVAB to get into the Air Force, I'm not tough enough for the Marines, and the Navy won't take me because I can't swim. I will wear camouflage every day and tuck my trousers into my boots because I can't figure out how to use blousing straps. I promise to wear my uniform 24 hours a day even when I have a date. I will continue to tell myself that I am a fierce killing machine because my Drill Sergeant told me I am, despite the fact that the only action I will see is a Court Martial for sexual harassment. I acknowledge the fact that I will make E-8 in my first year of service, and vow to maintain that it is because I scored perfect on my PT test. After completion of my Sexual.....er....I mean "Basic Training," I will attend a different Army school every other month and return knowing less than I did when I left. On my first trip home after Boot Camp I will walk around like I am cool and propose to my 9th grade sweetheart. I will make my wife stay home because if I let her out she might leave me for a better-looking Air Force guy. Should she leave me twelve times I will continue to take her back. While at work, I will maintain a look of knowledge while getting absolutely nothing accomplished. I will arrive to work every day at 1000 hours because of morning PT and leave everyday at 1300 to report back to "COMPANY." I understand that I will undergo no training whatsoever that will help me get a job upon separation, and will end up working construction with my friends from high school. I will brag to everyone about the Army giving me $30,000 for college, but will be unable to use it because I can't pass a placement exam. So Help Me God!
____________________________________________________
Signature Date


US NAVY OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Top Gun (Doug), in lieu of going to prison, swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the UNITED STATES NAVY, because I want to hang out with Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, and because I thought, "Hey, I like to swim...why not?" I promise to wear clothes that went out of style in 1976 and to have my name stenciled on the butt of every pair of pants own. I understand that I will be mistaken for the Good Humor Man during summer and for Nazi Waffen SS during the winter. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Navy acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0700 hours every morning unless I am buddy-buddy with the Chief, in which case I will show up around 0930 hours. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a kayak being tossed around in a typhoon, and still not spill a drop. I consent to being promoted and subsequently busted at least twice per fiscal year. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Neptune!
____________________________________________________
Signature Date

US MARINE CORPS OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, (have someone recite your name for you), swear.. uhhhh.... high-and-tight.... grunt... cammies....ugh... Air Force women.... HOORAH! So Help Me CORPS.!
____________________________________________________
Thumb Print X Date

COAST GUARD OATH OF ENLISTMENT
I, Gilligan , swear to sign away 4 years of my life to the COAST GUARD, because I want to hang out with Merchant Marines without actually having to BE one of them, because I thought the Air Force was too "corporate," because I didn't want to actually live in dirt like the Army, I didn't want to have to cut my hair for the Marines, and the US Navy leaves the United States and has big ships, and because I thought, "Hey, I don't want to leave home anyway?" I promise to wear clothes that look like the Air Force because the Coast Guard couldn't come up with their own uniform. I will strive to use a different language than the rest of the English speaking world, using words like "deck, bulkhead, cover, geedunk, scuttlebutt, scuttle and head," when I really mean "floor, wall, hat, candy, water fountain, hole in wall and toilet." I will take great pride in the fact that all Coast Guard acronyms, rank, and insignia, and everything else for that matter, are completely different from the other services and make absolutely no sense whatsoever. I will muster, whatever that is, at 0930 hours every morning at the local doughnut shop and talk about how great it is not to be a real service and fight any wars. I vow to hone my coffee cup handling skills to the point that I can stand up in a dinging being tossed around in a thunder strom, and still not spill a drop. I consent to not being promoted like the real military. I realize that, once selected for Chief, I am required to submit myself to the sick, and quite possibly illegal, whims of my newfound "colleagues." So Help Me Department of Transportation!
____________________________________________________
Signature Date

Now with all of there differences everyone will come away with the same notion which will help them survive in this world we call home:

We the unknowing,
Led by the uncaring,
Have done so much with so little for so long,
That we are now qualified to do it all with absolutely
NOTHING!

And what post would be complete with out some mindless man eye candy!
1) Navy women do it better, they are alway wet to the gills and ready for some diving(muff)




2) I Support women in the military!


3) Nothings completes her outfit like a really big gun that can kill people 900 yards away even without trainning!

Friday, November 16, 2007

Back again....

I have not lost my blogging touch I have just lost the time for it. The funny thing is I find myself wanting to blog but everytime I sit down to do it I am over come with other things I have to get done. I am week two into my next block of online classes, International Business and Economics. YUCKY YUCKY, like Brintnay Spears crotch in my mouth yucky, same foul after taste too. But I have to get them done, not liking it but still doing it. Like that time i worked at the gay bar as a bathroom attendant. The money was good but, well lets just say I never looked over my shoulder so many times in my life.

And work.....man oh man the over time is kicken but my sleep is suffering. We are now down 3 people, one part timer retired, one got locked up and the other was let go due to poor job performance. Oh well, we make do with what we have and right now we dont have much. Almost everyone is picking up some of the slack but one more hit of any kind and we are screwed. I did 16 hours of ot last week and next week looks like its going to be anohter one. And its a holiday week so that might work out in our favor. My boss said that someone is supposed to be coming in Monday, but that isnt always good news. Most people do not like this type of work and leave after the first day or they are not qualified for it. But we shall see.......
It has been a while since my last post so I thought I would throw some home pics in here. And Doug if you are reading this when are you going to blog again....you slacker hahaha. I also wanted to announce that I am now down to 207 pounds! I have been using this site Sparkepeople.com to help me stay motivated to lose the pounds. The halloween candy killed me for a while, the crazy hours killed it too, but my resolve not to gain more weight through the holidays has stead fast. I am not in the gym as much as i would like but my eating has gotten much better. I am not saying I have not fallen ....hell that last party I was at I didnt fall I was hit by the eat and drink frieght train! But I pick myself back up and moved on. I started this little treck at 225lbs and now I am almost to my goal, 200lbs. The BMI (dont listen to that bullshit) says I should be at 170-185lbs but I have no desire to go that low. I dont want to be a skinny waif! Nothing manly about skinny hairy white dudes lol. But I must say getting these last few pounds are going to be a real bitch, Thanksgiving is next week and I just found....yes I said found....a bag of halloween candy in my car. I thought about just chucking it but I could never do that, I will have to give it to someone. At least then I know I was not waisted, maybe I can find a bum that doesnt care about his gutt lol.
Ok I have to get back to real life problems, I have a 1200 word paper to do about gold and exchange markets due by sunday. I want it done today so i wont have to stress it this weekend and end up AGAIN sitting in front of my computer on Sunday night trying my best to type out a crappy paper.
Pictures:
1) He might not know the alphabet yet he he sure can kick your butt at SpongeBob and the Chocolate StarFish of Death.
2) I stole from pictures for Micheal Jacksons home, and here we have some really early shots of him and Latoya doing what kids do best. Man, they have been white all along!
3) Here we have Cheese asking why the blue crayons do not taste like blue berries?
4) And here we have an example of what happens when you are bored at work and all alone. Luckily they did not have a copier near by or they would have had a whole bunch of pictures of my butt in the inner office mail.
Its Friday bitchs, go out and get smashed and take pictures of evertyhing. We all need proof of what you did so the judge can show us that it was you that molested the goat at the heavy petting zoo on Monday morning.

Friday, November 02, 2007

Holy shit.....

Holy hell fuck me running, what a blogging shit I have been. But life sometimes gets in the way of my addicitons. Just to sum things up fast:
The party was great, I ate and drank way too much. I did not vomit nor did i molest anyone....that I remeber or was accused of. There was a nun, a killer bee (the hostesst) an accountant (the host), underdog, a pirate (me), a boat rat aka winch aka -the wife, a slutty Marie Antonette (host's daughter heheh), s slutty BooPee, Cinerella and random assorment of others. The only draw back was that is was way out in the fucking boonies of NJ. Allamoochie I think the name was, in fucking cow and corn country nj, no Tony Sapranoes out there! Here are some fast fire pics I took. I have more but time is not on my side here, no speell check or proof weeding!

1) Beer pong with slutty BooPee and Maria Antoinett(sp). I was shocked they werent naked by the time we left.


2) the nun, I bet I could break her out of that habit muahahahahahha*evil laugh*


2) Clean up that beer now woman.....man thats haut!


4) Darth, you saber looks a little limp.....


5) Yoda was not fazed by the evil witchs.


6) The killer bee and the food!


7) Even yoda needs to be pacified from time to time.


8) Arrrgghh Wheres me bootie, i need to shiver me timber in yar vessel of hot loven treasure!


9) Here she be......!


10) Food and severed body parts!


As I said life sucks some times......this new class International Business is killing me, by the way I got an A- in algrebra and the biggest news is at my job 2 ppl got fired and 1 retired all in a 2 week period. If i cannt get the man power I am stuck covering the post. Work is a little sucky at the moment, no time to even beat off in the corporut bathroom even....dman!