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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, September 28, 2007

I am now the proud owner of the Total Gym, Chuck Norris used his superior Jeti mind trick and suckered me in. I will have some home pics of this wonderous gym toy very shortly. From the box to workout it only took about 30 minutes. You only really have to screw in one thing and all the res comes all ready assembled. The attachments use pins to lock things in place instead of screws and knobs. The only real draw back is that it is heavy and kind of hard to move about and the pins can be lost rather easily. But besides that it is a great exercise toy for ppl with little room. It can really hit the whole body, and is great for circut training. Which is what most normal ppl really need. Sorry, we all want to look like Arnie but it just wont happen. I do not have the will or desire like he did and I have a real fear of needles. Come on, he wasnt fooling anyone he was on the juice. Even OJ knows that!
But we can aim high cannt we?
Here is a web pic of what I have:

This is the exact toy I have. And here is what I want out of it:

Just minus the blue jean shorts and the helmet hair.

But the real man of the hour is Chuck Norris! He has become a living legend. And from what i have learned from a certain navy man, he is really short. Now doesnt that just kill the hero we thought he was? I mean only a real man would be able to pull an add off like this:

Or how could an all American Hero be short. After all he killed Bin Laden.

But we all must come to terms with the reality hollywood made him a hero, pretend and movie magic made him a hero. He did not rescue Vets from the clutchs of those evil men nor did he kick anyones ass. But if he can chase your ass down in cowboy boots and still round house you in the face...well he is ok in my book.
Here is some words of wisdom from someone who is about as American as Hulk Hogan, Mr.T, Rambo, and the Terminator:

And even though he probably would have gotten his neck broken in a real like fight with Bruce Lee (which is how it went down in the movie) he is still a hollywood action god. He even took on a movie that was kick ass, and kicked major ass. Who needs 300 when you have a man in blue jeans and cowboy boots than can do a split and a round house kick?

thank you Chuck, can I call you Chuck? Thanks Chuck, I love the Total Gym and if things go well I might even write you a letter. With a homo-erotic pics of me on the total gym. Hey even Chuck needs a little love.


morbid misanthrope said...

Chuck Norris kicks ass. You don't have to be tall to own everyone; just look at Danzig ... well, that's a bad example, really. Norris could be three feet tall and he would still be able to destroy 99% of the population with a dirty look.

prettykitty said...

dude, this guy at work bought one of these and i kid you not...he's totally ripped now. it's almost like a combo of pilates and the abserciser.

there is a guy who owns a furniture store down the street from where i lived in LA who trained chuck norris and jim kelly, the badass bro with the fro from the bruce lee films. i wonder if he hand chops the wood to make the furniture?

Nikky said...

I think it's great that you bought this, inspiring, really.
But what is this whole Chuck Norris thing? It's gotta be a guy thing, and even that thought scares me, because my sweet baby boy thinks Chuck is 'the shit', too. My sweet baby, who will be 14 next month, must be a guy now, because he wears a T shirt that states
"Only Chuck Norris can prevent forest fires"
I don't get it... I must just be a silly girl.

phishez_rule said...

I have a rowing machine. Does all the major muscle groups and stores standing against the wall.


karma lennon said...

My mother had the biggest crush on Chuck Norris when I was a kid. God, so many hours wasted watching "Walker: Texas Ranger"....

Martini said...

Is that Mexican baby thing suppose to entice me? Or make me feel bad? I'm not sure how I feel.

cher said...

oh man, i feel so guilty for using my home gym as a coat rack now. if you start posting pictures of yourself, i may have to actually go work out because of the guilt.

you so need to post pictures of yourself AND write chuck a letter. but i think you should call him charles or charlie instead.

Becky said...

Well, here's to actually using it! Good luck!

ADW said...

I love Chuck. Plus, who cares if he is short. He's Chuck Freaking Norris.

TK Kerouac said...

I noticed your link on my sidebar
I've gone private but if you'd like an invite, email me at