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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Absinthe: The Review

I bought a bottle of absinthe from an online source. It cost me $50 for this tiny ass bottle, which I knew but seeing how small was somewhat of a shocker. And not the funny shocker you give your wife while checking her plumming. The type of shocker you get when you open a box the size of the Webster's dictionary and pull out a bottle the size of single serving Tobassco sauce bottle.
But after looking at the alcohol percentage I was a little happier, a little. It said it was 80 proof which means this shit is 160%! It took almost 5 weeks for this to show up at my door. The site said 2-3 weeks but due to an issue in the wharehouse there was a delay. I should have gotten some type of rebate for that damn it.
Oh well, I am a patient man so no harm no foul. It came in on a weekday and I am still not depraived enough to get pickled on a work day. Those days will come if I have anymore kids ;).
Well, afetr doing some research I decided to try the traditional method:
1 Part absinthe
4 parts water
poured over a sugar cube.

1) The bottle in question

2) The items one needs.

Using this method made about 3 drinks. So that comes to about $16 bucks a drink, not bad for NYC bar prices lol. It went down really smooht, it had a light licorice taste. It did take my breath away without the usually burn one would get from any other type of lighter fluid. There was no buring, just a nice warm feeling in the tummy.
Speaking of lighter fluid, I wanted to see if the hollywood method changed the taste at all. Again i did the usual but this time I poured a little on the sugar and lit it. Nothing different really. But it sure looked cool!

As you can see I do not have the proper absinthe spoon. I was not willing to shell out another $80 for something I was not sure that I was going to do again. But now I am sure I would love to get a whole freakin bottle! I am not sure what ppl are talking about when they say they see things drinking this stuff. But then again I wasnt drinking it straight, taking it to the head as some might say. If anyone downs 3 shots worth of 80proof of any booze you might see things!

Now after seeing the size of this bottle I decided to make a trip to the happy store for some extra ammo for my night of liver abuse. We also bought this movie called "Grandmas Boy" If you love adult humor with drug references and bried nudity you will love this movie. It is a bit of a stoners movie but it is funny as shit!
While at the fun store I bought my first and last bottle of Gennuis. I had some years ago and did not like it. So I thought about giving it another whirrl, noooo I am not influenced by commercials at all nooo not me lol.
It was dark as coke and was bitter. It was not horrible and would drink it again if someone else was buying them but it was not for me. But it did have alcohol in it so I down the bitch down fast. I guess this goes to show that I am not as Irish as I thought.

Along with the recipe for absinthe I looked up how to make Sangria. I have never made it at home so me and the wife made a night of drinking.....toghter! Now for those of you who dont know my wife she doesnt drink...anymore. After that night many moons night can kill it for some lol.
I have not seen her drunk like this is such a long time and it had to be the funniest thing ever. She slurred her speach, laughed about everything and even played hide and seek on me. But first let me show you what got her there:

We were on pitch #2 when she got up to go potty. She had been gone for about 3-5 minutes before I got up to see where she went to. I walked past the potty and no wife, went to the baby's room and no wife and I went to the devil childs room and no wife. At this point I hear someone giggling, I went back to the living room no wife, but more giggling and now followed by that spitting thing ppl do when they are drunk when they are trying to stop the giggles. I know she isnt outside because she was in the nudie when she got up to go potty. So I went back to the bathroom where I find here in the bathtube sputtering, giggling and hidding behind the shower curtian. She was trying to say that she knew I would come looking for her but all i heard was:
"Eyes knew youd cums ooking (insert sputtering laughter) soooooo (insert wife putting finger up to her lips in the ssshhh motion) Eyes fought tit bees funny to hid!"
She did not last much longer after that. She went ot bed and kept asking me why I wasnt as drunk as her. Well I drink more than she does and I am a professional drunk. I know how to handle my ride better than someone who only goes out once in a while.
I was very drunk but she was almost to the floor when she went to bed. I stayed awake to finish the movie and play some games on the puter. I was not going to waste my buzz on sleeping, no freakin way.

I have not done a HNT so I thought I would throw 2 in here.

1) comes from me and my first drink of absinthe. I am looking right now to see if i can find some more but cheaper. $50 is too much for my wallet!

2) This one is a picture of me and what happens when you start tickling your wife after she has had 3 glasses of sangria. I was giving her rasberries on her side when she clocked me right between my eyes with her thumb nail. She was trying to make me stop but ended up making me bleed. "No one makes me bleed my own blood Nobody!" HAHAHAHA

(I just took out my eye-contacts- so that is why my eyes are so red ;))

Well that is enough out of my filthy whole. I am now off to get some real work done now. Its almost noon and I have not done a damn thing! I love work sometimes hahahahaah!


fatwonkkid said...

actually 80 proof means 40% alcohol...sorry to burst your bubble

The Real Kidd said...

I love Grandma’s Boy!

What’s that rining?
Do I have a tumor?
I’m way too wasted to drive to the devils’ house.


honkeie2 said...

Fat: hahahahaha I got it backwards.It is 80%, I just checked the bottle. Duh on me

the real: 'If you want to cum on my dad the answer is no" I love that movie.

karma lennon said...

Sounds like good times. I read somewhere about some absinthe that had just been released in the states-first time since like prohibition....can't remember what it was called or where I read it though.

The Real Kidd said...


I gotta pee out of my ass.


morbid misanthrope said...

Sweet merciful bastard, I miss alcohol.

Grandma's Boy kicks ass.

Samantha said...

The wifey sounds like a fun drunk! LOL!

prettykitty said...

well, i hope you saved enough absinthe to take the burn marks off that fork and maybe refinish the kitchen cabinets.

ps my favorite part of the movie is the dance dance revolution dance off.

Anonymous said...

well that was an interesting/entertaining read. Now I don't have to try the stuff myself -I've read what happens and I'm happy with that!

glad you guys had fun together!!

Anonymous said...

p.s I have to find where I can get a copy of Grandmas's Boy. Haven't heard of that one!

Jenny! said...

Work rules...when you don shit all day! Sounds like a good time...wifey hding nude in the should make sangria more often!

phishez_rule said...

I had this great comment all lined up. It was perfect, witty and sharp.

Then I saw gratuitous half nakedness and it runded out of my brain.

honkeie2 said...

lennon:you are correct!
They have absinthe bars in nyc now.

Kidd: 'My aunt drank my pot.'

morbid: can you drink sometimes?

samantha: she is but she doesnt do it enuff

kitty: it actually didnt leave any marks. I love that game, well actually i love watching top heavy girls play that game.

Boobs: I got mines at Target

Jennaay: I have the makings all ready to go lol

phishez: haha got ya!

cher said...

i'm so glad you specified "eye-contacts". just saying contacts confuses people. like, what? did he take out his ear contacts? or maybe he took out his email contacts and deleted them? or maybe you actually took out, took out some contacts/associates gangsta style? i dunno, i was just happy you were very, very clear.

have i told you lately how fucking funny you are dude? you're wife is lucky. although, naked hide and seek? maybe you are the lucky one!!

cher said...

oh ya, and you could use a haircut. lookin a little shaggy.

honkeie2 said...

cher: I did get a hair cut and yes I always have to make sure ppl are not confused. I would not want to give ppl the idea that I have contacts in my ass or anything lol. I love naked drunk chicks!

cher said...

i love naked drunk chicks too.