Friday:I went to the driving range with my oldest on Friday. It was rainy, cold and we were all by ourselves! Which was cool because when we ran out of balls we ran out into the rain and grabbed another bucket or so of balls for free. The oldest does not have the form but he can hit the ball better than most ppl I have seen. While we were making asses out of ourselves one guy did come in. And boy could he hit that ball harder than Ron Jeremy on a barely legal teen booty. But, his form was really strange. I am not going to knock it, he could hit the ball starighter and farther than me BY FAR but he looked like he was chopping wood. He had the strangest stance and if you were to judge him by the way he swung you would swear he has never hit the ball in his life. But everytime the swung he hit that ball out of the freakin field! I dont know how well his short game is, chipping, but he can do the distance. But me, well the farthest I got was about 150 yards and half the time I sliced it to the right. Several times I sliced it so far over it hit the divider and bounced right back at me. This is funny as hell, as long as you are not the one taking an evil white dimpled ball to the thigh. But all in all I think I am ready for the green. I am better than half of the hacks that call themselves golfers but far worse than 90% of all who play the game. Go figure!

Saturday:

Close your eyes and minds for a second and try to picture this.....complete and utter chaos, set to a multi colored back ground, coated in sugar and over loaded with noises so loud that even the most hardened rock concert go-er would shoutter and cry. And this would come close to the events that be-fell my seneses on Saturday.

We were all invited to a birthday party of one of my wife's coworkers daughter. She turned.....3 I think. It was held at SpaceOdyssey.

I kick myself for forgetting the camera but troll about the web page to get a feel of what we saw. The kids loved it, of course, but there was a serious lack of adult beverages. No adult should be asked to take this trip on any sober level. Children, in large groups, have this ablitiy to make even the most level headed person fall off thier rocker. The place was a little smaller than I imagined but it was enough for the little ones. I think my mind made all the places I went to as a kid seem alot bigger: Chuckee Cheese, ShowBoat and Razzmataz. They always seemed like gigantic stadium sized places, but in reality they were probably about this size. Things always look bigger through the eyes of little ones. They host all kinds of parties, not just kiddie events. As one can see from their Halloween party of 2006~~~>FreaksOnALeash. It was a little far but I might want to take a run up there for the next Halloween party haha. I love some of those outfits but I am a little reserved on saying who I want to see naked, some of them dont look all lady---if you get my drift.

Sunday: We did some more Barbq-ing. The wife unit has invinted a sauce that we use on the meat and it is fucking great. Well, actually I am not sure if she is the first but I have never tasted anything like it before. I would share how she made it but I have no idea what is in it. That is her area, I am sure she would not understand the complex world of turning on a gas grill and flipping meat! Come on, that is to manly for her womanly mind to comprehend........by the way I am just kidding about that part!

A man in his element!

WeeMan and Cheese roughing it in the great outdoors.

We have had some rain in the past few days so his car was a little water logged.

We went to our Weight Watchers meeting on Sunday and I lost another pound! I am now at 205 and still have 5 more pounds to go. I really do not want to go any lower than 200lbs. They had my goal weight at 185lbs, I really do not want to be that skinny. I might want to bulk up a little but I think I will just stay my course as of now for cuts, it is almsot beach time. I am almost to where I want to be, more sit ups and more cardio! I hate running but so far it has really helped with my goal.

It has not been a bad Monday so far.......3 cups of coffe and 2 expressos....and its only 12:00pm!

Tuesday:

I ment to put this up on Monday but work and skool was a bit too much for me. I am now done with semester one in my online skooling. I am waiting for my final grade, but I am pretty sure I did at least OK. I have started the second already, and lets just say I have hit the ground running as fast as someone running from a rabid dog.

The weekend was busy but a nice one. Nice weather and a gas grill, we all went outside to play.

Here we have the little ones on the swings. And yes that is a womans head band. I am making an appointment to shave my head as we speak.





Cheese in his new summer hat and an old onesy. It belonged to Mr. Nonos and just in case you dont know who they are, the band on it is called: KORN.



This came out really werid and I thought I would share.



I found this great recipes from the Weber website. I got a used grill from my mom, it is almost 10 years old but still in great working order. She gave it to us and we went all out this weekend. I even tried something different, they are called spicy fries. I added a little too much spice but they were good!




In action!




I have a few random things in this post but I thought they were amusing.

I saw this on Ambers's Blog and decided to stell it. Basiclly you have to answer all the questions in one word. If you like steal it from me ass well.


1. Where is your cell phone? Hip
2. Your boy/girlfriend or husband/wife? Wife
3. Your hair? Long
4. Your mother? Redhead
5. Your father? MIA
6. Your favorite thing? Family
7. Your dream last night? Bizaar
8. Your favorite drink? beer
9. Your dream car? MonteCarlo
10. The room you're in? Box
11. Your ex? Controling
12. Your fears? gayBars
13. Where do you want to be in 10 years? relaxed
14. Who did you hang out with yesterday? backyard
15. What you're not? naked
16. Muffins? buns
17. One of your wish list items? House
18. Where you grew up? south
19. The last thing you did? cleaned
20. What are you wearing? monkeysuite
21. Your TV? off
22. Your pet? children
23. Your computer? evil
24. Your life? Fast
25. Your mood? Happy
26. Missing? carbs
28. Your car? Matrix
29. Your work? otay
30. Your summer? swimming
31. Like someone? pornstar
32. Your favorite color? black
33. When is the last time you laughed? Today
34. Last time you cried? ?
35. School? online

The second random whatever is a little joke for ppl that live in NJ only. Anyone can read along but only ppl that know NJ will get a kick out of it.

A girl says to her date, " You are in for a real treat. I have been told that I have a body like New Jersey."
So her date grabs her by the waist and asks, "Whats this?"
She says, "Middlesex."
He grabs her butt and asks, "Whats this?"
She replies, "Freehold."

Feel free to play along with the Q&A game but I wont tag anyone. I dont want to touch anyone in here, I might catch something ......like cooties!
Then he goes for her boobs and asks, "And these?"
She says, "Point Pleasant."
Finally, he reaches between her thighs and says, " Guess this is Cherry Hill?"
"No", she replies, "That's called 'Eatown!"
The guy gets so excited he drops his pants and say, "Welcome to Wildwood!"

Another one bites the dust...

Well I have just finished posting my final paper for my first two class at the online skool with Axia College with Phoenix. I am pretty sure that even if i bomb with the paper I will get a half way decent grade. If everything goes to plan I will have my 2 year degree in a years time.

But besides that all is normal. I am counting down the days to our Memorial Day vacation. We are going to Wildwood NJ beach. It is a local hole but it is away from home and work. Home life has gotten a bit ruff and we all need some time away from the maddness.

The other day I was at a red light and took this pic. I am not sure what I thought was so funny but K-9 unit in the ghetto just made me laugh a little.

For those of you who dont know what this is, it is basiclly tea but with a south American twist. It is called yerba mate. It is a very strong herbal drink that is said to have all kinds of healthy goodness in it. If you like go here~~~~> YERBA MATE and you can find out all about it. The first time I saw this I was visiting my wives relatives down in Uruguay. It seems to be some country wide craze for them. If you ever meet someone that says they are from Uruguay and they have no idea what mate is.....they are lieing bastards. This stuff is like baseball to us here in the States.

And yes I know it looks like a bong and a huge bag of weed. Trust me 'tear' there is no weed in my office :-D.

Now I know its TiTs FrIdAy and I will not let this day fall to the waist line like a set of old saggy sandbag boobs. But this week I thought I would throw myself into the mix a little. I will save the best for last. But here is what I found when I went looking up 'Hooters':

1) Is this an oxymoron or just redundant?

2) Amazon women scar me......but they are still hot!

3) If you look really hard you can see a very nice car in this next picture.

4) Why has my mind gone straight to the gutter here?



5) If it was not for low self esteem, lack of daddy's attention and never ending need of women willing to degrade themselves for cash Hooters would be out of luck.

6) I am sorry but I think I would get a kick out of this at Hooters.......but dont exspect a big tip.

Last but not least this is my contrabution to TiTs FrIdAy.......this was taken last night. I am just that vain at time....well most of the time. And now that I have lost the weight I am almost too much haha.
Happy Firday people!

Ahhhh Monday

Finally, the weekend is over and I can get some rest. This weekend was a very busy one to say the least.

I am pissed I did not have my camera with me to tell the tale in pictures but thats ok....the batteries were dead anyway.

On Saturday I decided to wash my car and wax it. Then I got the brillant idea to rotate my tires myself. I was not about to shell out 80$ to have some grease monkey move my tires for me. Well all went to plan until I got to the last tire. I took the tire off with no problem, since I do not have a lift in my home I had to use those damn crappy ones that come with the car. But I do have a set of two ton jack lifts so that did help.

I got the tire off and cleaned it from back to front. I even used a scrubbing pad to get all the road tar and grim off. But once I got to the tire I noticed a nail in it. I could not ignore the fact I had a nail in my tire and feared it would come out at some bad moment and leave me with a flat. So I did what any good mechanically retarded person would have done: I pulled it out. The moment I did this the hiss of air could be heard across the yard. But to my luck my wives car was there, so I hoped in and drove over to the ghetto garage. A local little bodega of a garage that can be good but can also be very bad. They do well with simple things and let us slide sometimes on paying right away. But on overly complicated car stuff they suck, using stolen parts can be a bad thing at times lol. But I figured they could plug a tire........and I was right.

The little woman said to just go and buy a new tire.......ummmm no! I was not about to have an unevenly balanced car with one new tire and besides a plug would proove to be cheaper by far. I get to the garage (with the tire still hissing) and the guy said it would cost 10$ and take about 5 minutes. SOLD!

With a newly plugged tire in hand I head back to put the last of my tires on. I was almost finished when I noticed I put the same tire back in the same place; instead of them being rotated they ended up back in there original starting postitions. But lucky for me I had yet to take the jack off so all I had to do was take the bolts off again and switch them up. (Did anyone catch that I said 'jack off' without laughing hahahaha-well almost)

Tires washed, rotated and tightly locked into place I was all set. Task done, but with a price. The next day was to be one of the worst rain storms in almost 20 years, go me! But this did not worry me, I just wanted my car washed for once, it has been a while since I cleaned it this well. And hell, in the summer months to come I can do it again and again. But the next car has to be the wifes. I did clean the insided of her car, put the spare tire back in place under the car and put the seat back in. So that pleased the guardian of happiness.

Now onto the house work......which by the way never got completely done. The never ending battle is still waging on!

The next bit of news will probably tickle the women a bit (not in the way a well place tongue can tickle but a tickle never the less). We went to our WeightWatchers meeting on Sunday. We did not go last due to the holiday of the great white bunny that lays eggs. And I am sad to report I have gained 7lbs back. I did not take it to bad mainly because of well my cloths fit. I have been hitting the wieghts at the gym hard so I just chalked it up to mucle weight......but I really do not think I packed on 7 pounds of meat in 2 weeks.....that is a fun thought but not rational. I know where I went wrong and I am about to fix that! I am back on my points like a pimp on his bitch! I am going to slap that sheet into shape, so far I am doing fine and I am on track with my points.

The little woman gained a pound but she should not feel bad, she too has been hitting the gym pretty hard. I have to give her credit, she has been going to the gym all by herself with little to no pushing. She is starting to like it and I hope she sticks with it. I keep the kids at home while she goes to the gym and hits the tredmills. I am going to try and get her onto the weights sometime next week to get her body in high gear. Maybe we can both be beach sexy by summer time. I know I will be, now all I have to do is get her in the same boat. I will just have to watch it with her......skinny body big boobs equals evil college guys drolling.

Oh I almost forgot to metion how bad the rain really is. I had to take 2 detours this morning to get to work due to road closures. The water is out of freakin control out here!

Have a great Monday, stay dry and avoid pulling nails out of your tires.

I had to make food the other night so I went for something easy and simple. Two things I like about soup and women..............easy and simple.....hahhaha yeah and if you believe everything I say I have a bridge I would like to sell you.

But any way.....

I went for the frig to retrieve the bird to only find it was frozen sold. It had been in the frig since the night before to defrost but I guess it was not long enough. So I set after the bird with this fun knife we have for such a task.

I always feel like the crazed cook in a horror movie when I pick this bad boy up. But when I set apon the bird with a freshly sharpened balde ( I am anal about the sharpness of my knives, I am just a sicko like that) I found that hacking a frozen bird in half was going to require a little more than one knife. So I busted out his little brother but something bad happened.

Captian Morgan popped out and I went all pirate on the bird.

Arrrggghhhhh!

Grrrrrrrrrrrr, I am that manly!

HaHa, but seriously:

I broke the knife while trying to spilt big bird breast open. I finally got it but the knife was no more:

Even with one knife down I was victorious in the battle! The bird was splint in twain!.....What the hell does that mean, I have no idea. I heard it in a Robin Hood movie haha.

I went on a chopping frienzy and went medievil on the vegitables. I just pretened that I was battling with those veddie tale people characters and I was the evil bad guy....Mr. Peeler. Muahahahhhahaahah!

In the end they all sucumed to my blade and went in the pot!

But while I had my back turn that bitch ass tomato twat can up and gave me a ninja back slap. You can see its freakin hand print in my back. I now vow to kill all veggie people and turn them into pooh!

And hell do you see something wrong with these things. They say the Tele-tubies have sexual issues.....what does this tell you about uber religous vegetables????

Well it is "TITS FIRDAY" so I will send out on pic of one of the greatest toys on the market.

What she lacks in looks she makes up in tittage! With a rack like that you mind as well not even have a head. No real man would notice it anyway.
But in her defense she isnt that bad I was just being mean....

But have a good weekend.......I did not proof read any of this. I am off to online skoolage, too much fun whooohooo.

This was Easter weekend so I did what all red-blooded Americans do......I drank waaaaaay to much. Lets just say it was bad, very very bad. Well nothing bad happened but the littel woman was pretty pissed at how drunk I got. I did not intened to get that wasted but I made the classic mistake of not pacing myself and keeping tabs on the time drinks were consumed. It was amature night at my house.
I started off with a girly drink, cosmopolitans. Then when I was done with that.....about 4 drinks.....I went to shots of this high grade tequilla I bought from this amazing little secret in the ghetto called BayWay Liquors. This is a place that sells high end stuff, for example: I saw a bottle of rum that cost $400! Man, and I bitch when the usual bottle of 'TheCaptian' I buy is out and I have to buy the bigger one at $30! At 4oo smackers it better be some good shit!
Well I bought a small bottle of this stuff I saw advertised in Stuff Magazine as being da-bomb in the worlds of booze.



So of course being the easily led astray man I am, I bought it too. All was well until I started up with shot after shot of this stuff. It was so classic that I should have known that the end of this story would end with me throwing up at some point. And I did...........
All I know is that I drunk dialed the bro-in-law and he too was really wasted out in Virgina, I was myspacing for a while, watched some tv and then ened up naked in the bath tub. I am not sure at what point I decided to take a bath but at one moment I was watching tv and then the next I was up to my neck in the water and the little woman looking at me from the toliet. She looked pissed so I know at that moment those follow up shots (about 4 or 5) were a bad idea.



I dont mean to be stoopid but sometimes my redneck colors come flying out. Well, after my bath, which I must say I was glad I took my cloths off to take, the waves of evil started. I knew what was coming and knew what had to be done. I just down know why I did it in the sink and not the toliet. What ever I had eaten since I start drinking was now in the sink and clogging it up good. And for those of you with weak stomaches you might want to close your eyes now and skip ahead a little.
About all I had in me was cheese, for some reason I had found some cheese in the fridge and decided to eat it. Lets just say when you vomit up cheese it pretty much looks the same on the way up as it did on the way down, just all in one big mass. It was clogging up the sink big time and I knew I could not let that go down the drain. I scooped it out with my hands and threw it in the toliet. Again, why I did not just hug the bowl like all other times is beyond me. But again I was not exactly thinking straight, Lent was not over yet and like I said in an earlier post I had given up thinking for Lent.
Ok.....safe part .......after the mess in the bathroom was over I ended up in bed and all seemed ok with the world.
The next moring was not too bad, my mouth was dry and I was thirsty as hell. It felt and tasted like someone had shit in my mouth but besides that I was not to bad off. I had to drop off the oldest son so I had to get up and make breakfast. Eggs and ham was on the menu which came off without much of a problem. After I dropped him off I got coffee, stopped by the local hardware store for a new propaine tank(which I was suprised it was open and full of ppl buying construction supplies) and then off to the store to pick up a few Easter thingings.
The rest of the day consisted of the little woman and the MIL cooking up a storm for Easter diner, doing laundry and school work. It was a very good day with the exception of the wife unit glaring at me a few times. I was sorry for getting 'that' drunk so I made it up to her by making her squiell a little. I will not go into details about that to help spare the family member that reads this and not giving him nightmares of me rocking his sisters socks off ;-) But lets just say.........naw I think its better not to say haha.
But the food was fucking great! The diet was off this weekend and Easter diner was the topper that sent it spriling into a death spin. Home made raviollis, a side of cow that mowed as we chewed on it, salad and wine. Well, I did not drink any booze that day. I just wasnt in the mood for some reason.



I almost forgot, me and the kids went out back and fired off some illegal fireworks and smoke bombs. I bought them in Virgina on my way up from seeing Dougless. Anything fun like this is illegal in NJ but I dont think the smoke bombs are illegal just the nose makes I had were. But they were pretty weak fireworks just made lots of nose. The kids got a big kick out of them, we did not stay out too long it was toooo freakin cold! We did not even hide eggs this year, it was just tooooo cold.



While going through some old cd's I found this picture of me. I think this was taken somewhere between 1999 and 2000. I could not help but share this one. I have some more that I will share later this week I found for Weeman when he was the same age as Cheese is now. A little contrast and compair is in order here. As I look at those picks of Weeman it seems like a life time ago he was that small but really was only a few years ago. They really do grow up too fast.



Have a happy monday, and yes that last pic is for mornings and Mondays all in one.

Sleep......

Another sleepy day but luckily this week is not as much of a hard pressed skool week. I have done the unimaginable and got all my work done before it was due. And you know what? It feels good to have somethng doen before its due. I do not have this looming feeling of dreed like the guiloteen(sp) is hanging above my neck.

But I have not been getting too much sleep lately, the mother in laws inability not to slam doors in the middle of the night and Cheese has a cold that is pissing him off. On the MIL (mother in Law) I am taken a passive aggresive stance on it. Talking, asking and begging has not worked so I have opted to give what is given. I get up at 0530 every morning Monday thru Friday, she gets home rather late every night making such a noise that the roaches are bitching. So I do the same, during he sleepy time I make noise like there is no tommorow. This morning I slammed every door I passed through, stomped around like fat kid trying to river dance and bumped around bagging into anything like a bull in a glass ware store. I know she heard it but lets see if she 'heard' it. Maybe after a week of this she will pick up the hint. The direct approach did not work so lets try the hint game. I do not have bad in laws just noisy ones. Well, just he MIL the DIL is so quiet you would not even know he was home. Strange, but then again maybe that is why he is a trucker lol.

But while at work I broke out the camera for some real ham shoots. I am soo glad that no one can see what I do at my desk.

I dyed my hair but this picture doesnt really show it. It is dark cherry red, matches the red in my eyes.



I have been thinking about getting a hair cut but I have given up thinking for lent.



In my field of work we are not allowed to wear real ties, some kind of werid rule about real ties becoming dangerous weapns or something. So from time to time I like to clip it on to different parts of my body. And yes I have clipped it to my..........lip.



This is what happens when I fall asleep at my desk. They are sneak bastards, and it doesnt hurt at first but after a few seconds it really starts to hurt!



And if you did not believe me when I said my eyes were red here is a close up of my globes. And tonight I am working another double so I think by tommorow my whole eye will be red! God I love overtime! Bring on the coffee and coke......well coffee anyway I dont do coke. Never have either, not that I have anything agaist doing drugs I just dont think I would like snorting anything up my nose. Nasty nasty. I am not fan of needles and last I checked it doesnt come in a pill form. I am a big pill popper, caffiene pills and other uppers. All legal people, some of the best speed can be bought at GNC. Go take a look at this stuff called RedLine, who needs meth when you go good old drugs that the FDA has yet to check out. Ephedriene might be gone but they replacements are much better haha.




I will sleep when I am dead, that's my motto.
Happy HNT ppl, I have finally put out a HNT post haha. And since summer is cuming up there are many more to cum!

Credit card love

Yesterday I was in need of a water bottle. I had left mine at home and I had to get my daily intake for my weight managment program. I went over to the vending machine but they wanted 1.25$ for a small bottle. No freakin way, and besides they dont take credit cards. So I got off my lazy butt and drove over to the store. I was going to bring some change but I forgot so I ended up spending .69cent on my credit card.

So I whipped out my plastic money that I always have with me to buy this 1.5 liter bottle of water. Not only am I a fruggal bastard but I am also evil. I know that the smaller stores make you spend at least 10$ if you want to use credit. But the larger stores dont care about the fees because they know at the end of the day they will make more than enough to cover charges that jackasses like me run up.

I then took a run over to the local goo-goo bar for their lunch buffet deal, and to my delight they installed the new card swipes. I think all the strip joins will be soon following this trend, but they might also want to have some anti-bacterial cards wipes. That stripper smell might be a dead give away to the little woman where I spend my luch hour.

After that I took a run to another store in the hopes that the cuite sales girl in the Hello-Kitty department was still there. She said she was going to hold somethings for me. My collection is almost complete, all I am missing in the CumDrop Kid doll and the Hello Pootang plush Kitty. But to my disamy she came down with a case of the clap and had to take the day off to go to the clinic. What I came face to face with cured me of my love of all that is Hello-Kitty. And to make matters worse she touched my credit card and has forever tainted it.

To try and cheer myself up a little I strolled on over the MILF's to buy the little woman a large beaded necklace that has a dual purpose. Lets just say when its all said and done you might not want these things around your neck. The ladies at the counter are always happy to see me and were over joyed to show me thier new card swipe. It was not as intertaining as the goo-goo bars but it still got me to smile. And from the looks I got from the sales lady they too loved tit.

After that I took a stiffed leg walk over to the internet cafe to try and buy something for the brother in law. He has another 3 years in the navy so I was looking for something to 'raise' his spirits. So, I bought him an internet date. More like call girls for the 21ft century. You give them what you want, a credit card number and you pick from a list of women. I looked under girls named 'Kim' he seems to have a thing for 'Kim's'. The first one they spit back was a real nice girl with real good heart. She registered a '10' on the personality scale and said she was will to try anything once, maybe twice if the price was right. But I dont think he would have gone for her.

I fine tuned my search a little and found another one that I think could wash out all that built up testosterone. She loved walks on the beach, taco bell, and mentioned something about being able to suck the chrome of a trainer hitch. I am not sure what she was getting at but I think he could find out for me and tell me later. So I bought this little hottie from SexSlavesForYou.com:

I then took a drive over to my local ink spot to see about get some ink. I did not have the time to get it done but I gave them my credit card, and hoped this fat hairy dude did not have the new card swipe machines, and left a deposit on my future tattoo. Luckily for me he did not violate my card and I head off to work.

I love credit cards, there is very little you can not buy with it these days. About the only thing I can not buy with this wonderous plastic magic wond is street drugs. But I do not think it will be long before the every day street peddler get his hands on a verson of the 'Stripper-Swipe' and yes I now have the copy rights to that name so fuck off....its mine!

I had a post but something strange happened to it and I am not sure what to do with what blogger spit back. Something about a tag not being closed properly or something.....I dont know or care. Half the time it is easier to just start over than try and fix it.
I have been so freakin busy that I dont know where to even begin. I am down to a grand total of 18 pounds lost on weight watchers, the kids are doing great, school is keeping me off the computer for my porn needs, work sucks as usual(at least I know I can count on that staying the same), I now have a gas grill (its used by its new to me), and I have started running 2 times a week. I hope to get out to night for another go at it. I am up to 20 minutes at a semi fast pace. I know that running will get them abs out faster than anything so I am sticking with it.
But I have been a bad slacker lately and using my computer for the usuall pointless searchs I usually do. But today I have about 5 minutes to do a little smut trolling and all I had to do was look up the word 'bad' at photobucket. Here let me show you what I found:

1) I was ot sure what was so bad about this pic until I looked above the neck line. Here we have a classic case of 'Butter Face' ...She is totaly doable, But-Her face needs some work.

2) Nufff said

3) I dont know, I like it

4) This should have been labled 'not bad' she is a hottie, I checked. I wanted to make sure this wasnt some dude with a panty fetish.

5) Got to give respect to the Bad Religon.

Then I typed in the word 'nice' and here is what I got.............

1) I want to make motor boat noises hahaha

2) NICE!

3) I was all for this pic until I looked a little closer....see if you can tell me whats wrong with this picture.