Mr. Beer: Try # 2---

My mom got me a Mr.Beer for this past Xmass. I already had one that I bought at Target from some time ago........it was on sale, orange stickers people come on now! And I thought, hey lets try again. My first attempt did not turn out as well as I had hoped, but I think I was just a little to impatent and screwed a few of the steps up. So this time I tried to do it slowly and by the book as possible. One of my biggest mistakes last time was I did not sanitize things as well as I should have. I am not saying it was dirty but a little bit of bacteria can ruin it all.




So I cleaned all my surfaces and got to work. It really did not take much time to get everything into the keg.



But I did come across a very unusual problem. If you look closely you can see the whole that the tap goes into. Well, the keg my mom bought me was defective, the whole was too small. Now being a man small holes are often what we want, you know.....more friction hehehehehe. But here a smaller hole is not a good thing. I could not get the damn tap thing to go in, typical man cannt get it in without help. Well, I was tempted to pull out the old drill and make it bigger but I thought better of that. And since I still had my old one I cleaned it out and used that one. I later called Mr. Beer and told them about it and they sent me a new one, without any problems. I love this company!



So I got the sticky worth in the key and put it in the basement. I have to keep it somewhere it wont get to cold and will not be harassed my someone looking like this:

Or this:

The only person who should be touching it is someone who looks like this!




The instructions said to let it stay for at least 2 weeks but I have now had it down there for 3 weeks. They said there was nothing wrong with letting it set for longer, and that actually doing so will be better. I now have my bottles, the caps and the sugar, I will be going to the next step this weekend. Then it will be another 2 weeks before I can drink it, but that is ok. I just want it to fuking work damn it!
I have always wanted to make my own brew, this is more of the retard prove way but someday i would love to go pro.....does anyone know how to make real home brew?

Long time no blog....

I must thank everyone for stopping by my neck of the woods and leaving comments. I have been really bad at making post and I am not about to make excuses to why. I am an ass and that is about it, well that and I am a lazy ass. Work is its usual nightmare of paper work, skool is still going and life is good. Well it is better now that I am over the worst damn I cold I have ever had. I even had to break the 'Man Code' and go to the doctor.

Turns out I had some sort of upper respitory thing going, but since my insurance did not cover xrays they could not pin point exactly what it was. But I got some antibiotics, an inhailer and some morphine laced cough medicine. WHOOOHOOO. And 2 days later, no coughing no back pains and no more night sweats. The night sweats were the worst part of it. I would wake up in the middle of the night soaked, and I mean fuking soaked in sweat. I had to lay a towel down before I could go back to bed, it was gross! But I am all better, but the cough did make me wait a whole week to get my last Christamas presen:


( I had to wait until the cough was gone. Imagine trying to get inked while coughing like a 80 year old Marlbo man?)

It is now a week old, its a Salior Jerry pinup girl with my wife's name in it. Some people said I was crazy but oh well, that just seems to fit in how I roll. I love my wife with all my heart and even if she does become the wicked witch of the west down the road and takes me for all I am worth (about 3 bucks) she will still be part of my life. Hell we have known each other for almost ten years now, and being only 31 that is almost all of my adult life! This is my gift to her and my family, I have plans for more family tattoos but funds are slowing me down. I have started saving up for the next one.....and yes it did hurt and yes it did bleed, but that is nothing more than a faded memory. Old pain fades but ink will stay with you forever, so pick your ink wisely.

Lets see what else....oh yeah! A few weeks ago me and the missus were up late watching Tv when we heard this loud crash. It sounded like it came from the front yard. We went out so see this 4foot tall hispanic man jumping out of a blue Dodge Ram pickup that had just went head on with a silver Dodge Ram pick up that was parked in front of our house. It wasnt mine so i wasnt all that upset nor did I feel the need to chase him as he bolted down the street. The whole neighborhood came to life at 11pm! Everyone and their mother came out to see it.

We all took turns playing detective: there was an Ecuadorian (sp) flag hanging from the rear view mirror, so I was right when I said he was hispanic. The seat was about as far forward as it could go, so he was short. The keys were in the ignition, so most likely it wasnt stolen. The air bag was out but there was no blood, and from how fast he was running he most likely was not all that seriously hurt. But he hit the other pick up so hard that he pushed it back almost 4 feet. If that silver truck had been a small car this would have been a real scene! If he had hit my Toyota, it would have probably acted like a ramp and sent him flying into our neighbors front porch!

The cops were called and i went back inside. The wife stayed out and took this pictures, I was still suffering with that cold so i was not about to stay out any longer.

Other than new ink and some late night drunk driver durbey everything is pretty mucht the same. And again I would like to thank everyone for stopping by and commenting, I will return the favor, because I love attention sorry i am an attention whore SO LOOK AT ME! lol. I will be making the rounds as soon as I can figure out why my work server has flagged my blog as inappropriant and sexual....hmmmmm werid.

Wait hold the phone, I do have one other peice of news....it is sort of on the DL because i am not sure how it is going to go. But I have mailed in my application to become a cop......me a cop MUHAAHAHAHAAHA! But the pensions are great, pay is pretty good, they are many place i can go with it, and above all else I get to carry a gun! I am not a gun freak but I am a guy and nothing is more manly than a man with a badge and a gun. I swear, i am trying to imitate chuck norris more and more each day. Did you hear, he was sueing NBC? Yeah apparently they are using a trade maked name for one of their shows: Law and Order. Because those are the names of Chuck Norris left and right legs, too cool for me!

And by the way, my xmass tree is still up, its fake so it wont die or turn into a fire hazard. I wonder if i could just leave it up until next year?

And this is my motto for this new year:

Yeah its over!

Oh man, its finally over; the holidays and my damn cold. Well most of it anyway! I have soooo much to do and an overwhelming since of dreed. I really need to start making a list and checking things off as I do them. Somethings just never seem to get done. The front closet needs to be organized, the desk needs to get moved, cloths are always going from one pile to another, skool work seems to be getting done later and later, and on and on and on. I sometimes wish I had a personal assistant to help me with managing my time. It isnt the need for more time, its using the time you have wisely. Which I really seem incapable of doing. But I will not give up, I do not have any resolutions, because I never follow through with them, but what I have is "I am going to get this done today list"

On my to do list I have:

1) Blog

2) Get living room, dinning room and kitchen cleaned

3) Laundry put away

4) Look in the closet of doom.

I did not say I was going to do anything but look in the closet, but that is better than what I have been doing to it.....adding shit upon shit!

That is my list and lets see what I can get done of it. So far the blog part is done but that really isnt all that productive lol. Me and the wife finaly weather proofed the babies room, it was on the list for sometime and it got me thinking, we really just need to start doing now. We have become some what complacent with how things are and letting these little projects pile up too much. Before you know those little side projects have become a full scale mountain! I have my list and lets see how it goes.......

But unitl them let me just through out some pictures from over the past few weeks so I can return to my work to do list.

This was from a little field trip my wife took with the older one.

The before picture, evidence A

The Before picture, Evidince B

Cheese showing us all how to properly open a wraped present.

Again proper technique and Mr.NoNo's showing us that stretching is very important before any type of activity.

This was me and my new PSP -Side note I am never shopping at Wal-Mart ever again.....But that is for another post.

This thing scared the crap out of me the day someone gave it to us. I think its still in the closet.

He loved his action figures!

And she loved her new Nintideo DS, she also got Guitar Hero III. And now was battle out our differences on the stage!


And this is the 'After' picture. Looks like the tree just vomitted all of the presents into the living room.

But even though the holidays are over I thought a blast from xmass gone past would help everyone come down and detox a little easier. Here is an ad i am sure that he regreted for years to come. HoHoHo everyone, nothing says happy holidays like a box of cancer sticks!

Thanks Ronnie for the smokes and thanks Nancy for the 'Just Say No' ads. Because we all know the number one killer in the United States is weed!

Cure for seasonal depression:

I am one who never has problems with his feelings, I try not to even think about them. I have gotten better over the years with expressing them and not letting them getting all bottled up to the point I pop. I have snapped a few times and its always not a pretty sight. But it always gets really worse during this hyped up holiday.
I have never been big on this holiday because of this issue. I am not religous in any sense so that does not come into play. But all of the hussle, bussle and stress of it always makes me feel over-whelmed. Its like forced joy, and I am not feeling it. My wife always says I am a scrooge because of it. I had a few good xmasses as a child but most of them were times of stress and family fighting. Again the push to get all the years happiness into one single day that is always over in a flash. I think the Jews have the right idea and spread it out through 7 days. So it can defuse slowly.
But as this time draws closer the feelings come back and I dont like them. But I have to deal with them, I have found ignoring them makes them worse. I dont even know how to put it down in words. I just dont feel like myself. I hide my disconnect with fake smiles and warm greating. You can see my eyes and feel that I am warm to the touch, but to be honest I am not really here. (and yes I stole that line from a movie because it is about the only thing I can find that fits)
I hate it when people at work give me gifts, I feel that I have to give them something, but in the end I dont. I hate the candies, cookies and food people give us, but I eat it any way because I feel better when I eat. I cannt stand the holiday music, but I find myself singing them. I want to be happy and I want joy but I cannt seem to find it. I want my kids to have the happiness and joy associtated with the holiday. It is my problem not their's. It comes from wanting to please everyone and always feeling like I never measure up.
I am not myself so I am trying to use humor to rise my spirits. It has worked somewhat, thank you youtube and the word 'bloopers'. Today I am in better spirits and I am just taking slow steps with it. The build up to the holiday makes so many of us cranky and irritable, please people just take it slower and show some stranger a smile. The malls are already too full of hate and gumpiness.
Today is the last working day for everyone but my crew for the next 5 days. I dont mind working the holidays, its always deserted. Nothing to do but blog and surf the net. But what is also cool I am off skool for the next 2 weeks. A much needed break from this break neck speed of on line skooling.
I am also sorry for the rambling and the lack of structure here, i am blogging from home and I have 2 drunken midgets driving me to drink.....not really they are to short to drive me to the bar yet.
And since it is Firday and i am in the need of much need release I am going for the " TiTs FrIdAy!" And my cure for my holiay deprssion is coming in the form of BOOBIES!

1) See, joy!


2) Oh my Oh my Oh my!


3) Proof that god is a man or a lesbian!


4) Joe dirt is just about as manly as Chuck Norris....but in a hillbilly kind of way.



5) I am not sure but I would put money she is a he....but you know what I dont care


6) She isnt as young as she once was but never say no to the old, ugly or fat....becasue someday you will be there too....and I am not say she is any of those but she isnt a sring chicken anymore.


7) And finally.......I will let them do all the talking.....



Happy Holidays people, smile more I know I am going to try. Forget what you have to do, what you should do and just let everything go........Just imagaine everyone naked it makes me smile and often laugh out loud in public.

I have been banned!

It sure took a while but my blog has now been flagged by my work network as "ADULT CONTENT" and I can no longer see it. I can post and read other peoples stuff but because of who knows what my network sees it as something dirty, strange my words considered fucking dirty.

Oh well, as long as I can post I am ok. I will just have to responde from home thats all.

But speaking of work, I am a week back to the old grind and I am almost caught up. Notice I said almost caught up. Work can be such a drag, but I have found a way to make those long tedious hours of pointless reports just fly by. I introduce the Hide Away Time Killer:

At first glance it looks like a normal boring binder that holds absolutely nothing that could cause any problem. But just take down this would be report folder and blamO!

Whats that you say? Filling endless paper piles sucks.....well have a seat with me in my office....

And we can tie one on corporut office style! With a little cranbury juice to kill the smell the boss will begin to think you really like your job and his boss will see it as well and before you know you will be next in line for that corner office. Where you can deligate all your work to other ppl and spend the whole day drinkng and playing Halo on the pirated network.