I would like to thank all those who sent me messages and emails about these stressful times. Things are getting better and everything will be ok, and thanks to the fact I am done with my art paper does help but I still have one more to write but it really isnt a hard one.
Much of my stress has been self induced, my emotion have taken hold and I let them get the better of me. I have come to terms with this and decided it is time to bring them back in check. I dont want to turn them off as I have in the past, and yes one can do it when so inclined. But going around void of feelings is not a way to be.
I have been thinking about that movie: 'Equilibrium' with Christian Bale. If you have not seen it go get it, if you like the 'Matrix' then you like this one. In the movie; society has found the true root to mans injustice to man, emotions. So that found a way to suppress them to the point that no one acts out or responds to emotions. It is a bit far fetched but it does make sense. Crimes of passion, hate, lust and want are no more. I dont want to go to that extreme but I do wish I could turn them down. Emotions are often irrational and lead to making rash decisions because of a feeling.
The other night I wish I could have turned mine off and let things be, I was in a situation where my emotions put me in a place I have not been in a very long while. I was mad, no I was pissed beyond understanding. I cannt even remember a time I was that mad, at anything. I wont go into what set it off, it comes from a place I dont want to go into yet. But again my emotions went off like a gas fire and I could not stop it. I could not sleep and I was so wired up I did not even know what to do with myself.
And in hind sight it really should have not gotten that bad. That was the moment I decided to put my emotions in check, meditation and breathing techniques will be my tools. Whenever I feel the rise of bad emotions or irrational thoughts I just stop and move my mind else where. So far it has helped a bit, but each time I have to get a grip on it before it runs away from me. And when it starts running it is hard to stop it.
I always thought myself to be a pretty level headed person, I never went off on someone for cutting me off in traffic, I would never said things that were on the tip of my tongue in the heat of a moment, and I used to never let my feelings get the better of me. But these past few weeks I have just about broken all of those. Everything pisses me off, there has been nothing but bile and filth in my mouth and my emotion have been my guide.
I am taking a stand against myself at the moment, I am at war with what is festering and I shall win. We are our own worst enemy, the worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves and then try to make others believe as well. I am done with the lies and done with feeling like crap.
And here is one more tool I have been using on a daily basis to calm this green headed monster I have been dealing with. I dont feel like going into what it is, I was introduced to by my wife and her Uruguaina family and man does it help. If you want more info watch this video. The guys here seem a bit limp wristed but oh well, to each his own lol:< http://yerbamate.com/
Much of my stress has been self induced, my emotion have taken hold and I let them get the better of me. I have come to terms with this and decided it is time to bring them back in check. I dont want to turn them off as I have in the past, and yes one can do it when so inclined. But going around void of feelings is not a way to be.
I have been thinking about that movie: 'Equilibrium' with Christian Bale. If you have not seen it go get it, if you like the 'Matrix' then you like this one. In the movie; society has found the true root to mans injustice to man, emotions. So that found a way to suppress them to the point that no one acts out or responds to emotions. It is a bit far fetched but it does make sense. Crimes of passion, hate, lust and want are no more. I dont want to go to that extreme but I do wish I could turn them down. Emotions are often irrational and lead to making rash decisions because of a feeling.
The other night I wish I could have turned mine off and let things be, I was in a situation where my emotions put me in a place I have not been in a very long while. I was mad, no I was pissed beyond understanding. I cannt even remember a time I was that mad, at anything. I wont go into what set it off, it comes from a place I dont want to go into yet. But again my emotions went off like a gas fire and I could not stop it. I could not sleep and I was so wired up I did not even know what to do with myself.
And in hind sight it really should have not gotten that bad. That was the moment I decided to put my emotions in check, meditation and breathing techniques will be my tools. Whenever I feel the rise of bad emotions or irrational thoughts I just stop and move my mind else where. So far it has helped a bit, but each time I have to get a grip on it before it runs away from me. And when it starts running it is hard to stop it.
I always thought myself to be a pretty level headed person, I never went off on someone for cutting me off in traffic, I would never said things that were on the tip of my tongue in the heat of a moment, and I used to never let my feelings get the better of me. But these past few weeks I have just about broken all of those. Everything pisses me off, there has been nothing but bile and filth in my mouth and my emotion have been my guide.
I am taking a stand against myself at the moment, I am at war with what is festering and I shall win. We are our own worst enemy, the worst lies are the lies we tell ourselves and then try to make others believe as well. I am done with the lies and done with feeling like crap.
And here is one more tool I have been using on a daily basis to calm this green headed monster I have been dealing with. I dont feel like going into what it is, I was introduced to by my wife and her Uruguaina family and man does it help. If you want more info watch this video. The guys here seem a bit limp wristed but oh well, to each his own lol:< http://yerbamate.com/
4 comments:
chill dude ;)
it'll pass... it'll level off :)
Now I gotta go check out this yerba shiz you speak of...
Don't try to suppress your emotions too much or you forget how to use them correctly...take it from me.
I have a tool too, it's called chocolate :)
Finally I can comment! I always read blogs at work and yours brings up the "you might get in trouble for looking at crap" button! Anyhow, sounds like you are going through a time and need a vacation. I hope things calm down for you soon.
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