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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, March 05, 2009

Potty time!

Well it's that time again where we must pass along the tradition of teaching the little one on how to properly feed the evil consumer in the bathroom. We where going to try the old 'Everybody Poops' but I went for the 'That is Concentrated Evil Sliding out of You.'
And in all he has been rather excepting of the hole idea of not pissing on himself and the diaper. We recently went up a size in diapers because his fat ass wasnt fitting in the old ones anymore. And now that his bladder is getting bigger we needed something to hold back his flood of yellow happiness.
This morning I get him up and place him on the thrown of deliverance and tell him to go 'KaKa'. Now in any family that speaks Spanish and English this is one of many key words that children with learn in their bi-lingual up bringing. Along with 'aqua' (water) 'come' (eat) and 'Sit the fuck downo'. Adding an 'o' at the end of any word automatically makes it Spanish all ignorant Americans know that!
He sits down to do his thing and his man instincts take over and is compelled to play with his junk. Now mind you I am all for man-handling ones self but not while trying to get as much pee in the potty as possible!

(and yes that picture was altered a bit do to content, and crap on the floor I did not wish to share)
Then I asked him how he felt about soon being free from the wrath of the diaper he said this:
I am not sure what it means but I am sure there is no greater feeling than having the urge to go and just going! Then having your parental slave clean you. Instead of going to the bathroom and having to do it yourself. But in the end he finally gave in and left his deposit and went about his day. I sure hope this doesnt take long, those damn things are $$$$$!
Then, as I make my way back I see the other monkey fast asleep. I swung the camera around and got one of many sleeping pictures of him. He looks so calm, and at peace and quiet here; that is sooo unlike him! But how could he be so calm when Spiderman is in need of help!?!
Then I turned my attention to myself and took on the task of getting ready for my day. I was not sure which suite I wanted to wear so i went with my weekend jump-suite. My good body The Tick gave me this idea. I took on the job as The Sporked Spatula to make some extra money in the morning before work. I go about the town and check ever so closely that every dog and cat has been fixed and de-wormed. It was a task that the local Chinese restaurant sponsors for some reason...I dont care just as long as I get my check and all the Generals Tso's chicken I can eat!
Here is my get-up:


And here is where you can get one too:

5 comments:

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Thank God we are done with the whole diaper/potty thing. I never want to go back there.

~Sheila~ said...

I agree with Julie, I'm glad I'm not wiping ANYONE'S ass anymore. Dom was sitting next to me and we were reading your post. We were cracking up...

So I wrote another..come check it out!

Carie said...

I had it was easy when Ashley was ababy, shes a smart one and was potty trained at 18 months lol and I didn't even do it, she just got tired of her Diaper I guess lol...but she did have a habbit of singing while she went, it was pretty wierd, she would sing the childrens song "looking for dracula" lol now hereing your kid sing that while going potty is really crazy lol...

Had to add that the captcha thing down there says cootie lol

honkeie2 said...

MomT: I am almost done.....

sheila: I will be over in a second!

carie: haha I am now going to look for that song 'looking for dracula'

Andy said...

I would like to adopt a 7 year old so I can skip the potty-training period... actually, maybe just make it 18, so they can get a job right away. Hmm.