Total Pageviews

About Me

My photo
I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Lazy Bitch

I have been such a lazy bitch when it has come to my blog. I have to get back to blogging a bit more. I dont think I could do the everyday thing but at least every other day.
-So lets see what has been going on.......I took a test yesterday in Western Civ. and I think I did pretty good, I got an A on my first test. I love summer sessions, they go fast and the teachers do not try to kill us with bullshit. I think 3 days a week for class is better than once a week. Whenever I take the classes that are only once a week I tend not to do so well because I am allowed to be lazy. But when I have to be at class 3 times a week it kills my laziness. Which is good for me.
-This weekend they had the PR paradie......I am not a Rician so I kinda missed it but I do love the spanish women.....hell I love all women hahahahahha. But during this little march they do in NYC they get all decked out in their tightest and brightest clothing they can find. I mean TIGHT, .....esxcuse me mama, I can see your lips talkin but all you are doin is walkin! Cameltoe was going wild that day hahaha.
-I have taken up golf so I went out and bought a driving net so I can practise in the backyard and not kill anyone or loose all my balls. But I missed the net a few times and sent some of my balls flying into my Jewish neighbors yards.....I hope they find them and throw them back over and not keep them just to piss me off. (side note: I have nothing agasit jews....I dislike all religous weridos equaly)
But enuff of my drivel about me on to the reason I can here today. Last week I found a funny article in GQ magazine about dirty lyrics. We all know some dirty some we like but most of them are straight out dirty, no beating around the bush(hehe). But the funniest ones are the ones from the days of the sexual represion. They had to be a little more creative when they wanted to say something like "suck my penis" Here are some I found funny:



He's a deep sea diver with a
stroke that cannt go wrong,
He's a deep sea diver with a
stroke that cannt go wrong,
He can stay at the bottom and
his wind holds out so long...
He poured my first cabbage
and he made it awful hot,
He poured my first cabbage
and he made it awful hot,
When he put in the bacon,
it overflowed the pot.
"Bessie Smith" -Empty bed Blues-(1928)
Now does anyone not get what she is saying? and 1928!!!! Damnnnnnnnn!



Throw your leg up like
a great church steeple,
Throw your leg up like
a great church steeple,
Throw your leg up like
a great church steeple,
So I can think I'm fuckin
all the people....
"Jelly Roll Morton" -Make Me a Pallet on the Floor- (1938)
Now I am not sure if there was ever made public back in the day, that is pretty dirty even by todays standers lol. And from that pic does he look like some nasty perv??? hmmmmm



I thought about the back door
I didnt know what to say
But once I got a baby
I,I tried every way
She didnt wanna do it
But she did anyway
But baby dont refuse
you know you got nothin to lose.
"KISS" -Nothing to Lose-(1974)
You have to love a band that sings a song about trying to get your girl to give up her ballon knot.



But I'm just a virgin
And I'm on my way to be wed
But you're such a hunk
I'll give you head till
you're burning up....
"Prince" -Head-(1980)
WOW.....right to the point, now that is my kinda woman....errr man.....manwom.....I hope he was not singing to another dude....is he a dude????



And then Mama took me
to grammar school
But I stopped off in
the vestibule
But every time the bell
would ring
You'd catch me playing
with my ding-a-ling
"Chuck Berry"-My Ding-a-Ling-(1972)
If you ever get a chance look up this song it is too funny.



You get in a heat
You get in a sulk
But you still keep beating
Your meat to a pulp
"The Buzzcocks"-Orgasm Addict-(1977)
Well....duh.

There were many many more but these were some of the best dirty song lyrics in the article. April 6,2006 GQ magazine, go take a look.
-The little woman is still knocked up. We still have until September before we can see the little man. The only real complaint she has had is the constant heartburn. Man, I am soooo glad to be man. And if there is reincarnation I want to come back as a male ANYTHING. Bull, horse, dog , cat , Hell even a male humming bird. Just make it male hahahaah-well a male model next time around would be nice though

(this one is for u cherry)


Forget all the speeling and grammar.....i am blogging from work today haha

11 comments:

the_mrs said...

I've missed you and your blog! What's up? =)

Those lyrics are crazy! But I guess it shouldn't be surprising...people "got it on" back then too, right? =)

The Real Kidd said...

You could come back as a male seahorse. Oh wait a minute. No never mind. In the seahorse world the male is the one to give birth.

Cherry said...

I've missed you, Honk!!! I've been through the lazy bitch blogging thing too, so don't feel bad.

Better get your balls back from the Jews. You know how they like to hoard things. haha just kidding. My uncle is jewish...I learned all the jew jokes from him. :) Cool about taking up golf. I'd like to take it up, but I usually have to swing at the ball about 20 times before I can even hit it. Pisses me off!!

LOL! Love the song lyrics! Especially the "throw your leg up" one and the "backdoor" one. I am all for girls giving up the balloon knot. I think it's awesome they wrote a song about it. What a good public service. lol. :)

Is that pic for ME cherry? Or the other Cherry? Whoever it's for, it's HOT!!! :)

Did you see the chicks in bikinis doing yoga video that I posted on my blog for you? :)

Carie said...

in college I did a paper on songs and their hidden meanings, from hidden messages to slaves to help them escape, sexual awakenings when it was against the law to discuss and so much more...it was the best time I ever had in school lol

honkeie2 said...

the_mrs: nut much up here...but when I look down there is plenty up lol.

kidd: nooo male seahorses tany u!

cherry: yess that pic is for u and yes I know all about jews wanting my balls...nothing new there lol. Like Dave Lee Roth said...."Everybody wants some..."

carie: I love things with double means lol.

Katie said...

glad you are back your blog always makes me lol....
love the post....

Kt Mae

Video X said...

you can be as lazy as you want! i do it all the time.

nice job on your A! woohoo!

suh-weet on the golf...i suck at it...but it's one more beer drinking activity to add to my list...oh wait...i make any activity a beer-drinking activity..

morbid misanthrope said...

Yeah, people have always been perverts. At least it brings out the creativity in some of them.

You know, your Jewish neighbors may keep the golf balls, but at least they don't strap bombs to themselves and jihad your golf net.

normiekins said...

a+++++++++++++++

WTF get out of this lazy bitch mood we miss ya!!!!!!!!

school, work, home.......give us some attention!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Becky said...

So are you sure it's a little man on the way then?! Another little man! I'm sure she'd prolly like a girl by now don't ya think!? lol

normiekins said...

HAVE A HAPPY FATHER'S DAY HONK!!!!