It is called.....a Re-Blog

I have been thinking about just taking it down. It has been rare that I come here anymore, a place I used to come to on a daily basis has become a place I come to once a month.


There was a time I could not wait to get on here and bullshit about my day and post the pictures I have taken in the world around me. But then things changed, my free time changed and my desires changed. It is strange how the things we once loved to do become more of a burden than a joy.


I think college killed some of the joy when it comes to sitting down and blogging. Having to type out pointless papers and then to come to my blog and type some more.....yeah no thanks. But I do miss coming here and one of the factors for me now wanting to come back, is that I said to myself that I wanted to do a recap of my world. So much has happened that just the thought of trying to organize it made me think of another college paper that I HAD TO write.


And then finally today I sat down and thought, "Fuck I don't have to do anything I don't want to do. I don't want to delete my blog and I don't want to start over!"


So I wont I will just start today over with a fresh out look on life and blogging. I have let soo many things just kind of go to shit these days. I gained 30lbs since last August.....yes 30 goddamn it pounds! Is embarrassing to have to admit it, and even worse when my cloths don't fit me. And much like this blog I always have the intent on going back to working out but it just never happens.


I seem to have lost the energy to do much of anything these days, and to make it worse my bottomless pit of a stomach is my enemy. What to do what to do....and I know its easy to say one thing and harder to do another. The only time I can really workout is at 0400 in the morning and getting up that early is just about impossible, hell I would have to be in bed the same time the kids go to bed! But to get what we want sometimes real sacrifices have to be made. And its time to stop complaining about it and at least make one step in the right direction.


I have made numerous attempts, even went out running for 2 days in a row but this that and everything got in the way and it never continued.


I am tired of being tired, I am no longer a smoker, still a weekend drinker, and very much still an over eater. I am slowing starting to see that I have a problem with food. I love it way to much and have a hard time controlling myself. But lets see what I can about this, I am going to try tomorrow and go to the park for at least a jog and I am also going to try and come here and blog about it.


I used to love blogging about everything and nothing at all, but now it almost seems like.....work. And very few people out there love doing anything they have to! And on trying to recap I think I will just do it backwards, starting with the most recent events and working my way down. One big event was the passing of my brother in law, not Douglas but Willie. I am not sure if I mentioned much about him here. He was handicapped and confined to bed his whole life but he was the light of my wife's family. And as I became a part of the family the same was true for me. It was a very emotional passing for everyone, he was sick and we knew his time was limited. But knowing what is about to happen and looking it in the face of it are two very different things. It even surprised me how much it effected me, I have always been the rational person in situations like this but this time I just about fell apart. I was in a very uncomfortable place and I had no idea how to act or what to say. I am still a bit awkward about it, I have had people in my family pass away but I was never around when it happened. So it was more like a phone call and a sympathy card. It is still strange to go to the house and go past his room and not see him there in his bed smiling and you. He was a happy little guy and he know what was what even though he could not voice it. You KNEW when he was pissed about something and he let you know it, and you knew when something made him happy. It was the simplest things that made him happy and the simplest things that made him give you the shit face of his disapproval.


I did see his body before he was cremated and it took all my strength not to fall to pieces, the family was having a hard time with it and I had to hold it together. I probably should have let something out, a little at a time is better than all out at once. But I just thought I had to be the one to help others stand when they needed help. I find myself on the verge of tears many times when I am alone just because I am just not sure where to direct this....frustration. I understand logic and reason and even anarchy....but I just don't know what to do with real emotions. Maybe through this, my blog I can try to work it out, my blog is my therapy and my legacy.


So here is to a fresh start, a spring cleaning of the virtual soul. Willie you are gone but not forgot en, your passing has shown me that I am not where I want to be and that I really need to work on all parts of all of the things I have been neglecting. Like not caring about grammar and spelling. I am always worried about that, but damn it all to hell I don't care, if someone wants to read this with a red pen and point out all the areas I fucked up on....knock yourself out. Just don't come near me with that pen, I will shove it up your ass then put it in your mouth.


So here is to tomorrow, a day that is promised and not a given

Ahhhh it smells like my blog

One more semester down, and only after 2 weeks of waiting I got my grades. Sociology of death, I got a B and in Accounting I got a B+. The funny part about it is that I thought I was going better in the death class lol.
But that is how things have been going in my world. But I do have a few things to high light since my last blog entry.

I am now an official member of the National Honor Society of Phi Kappa Phi. It seems that my GPA has been high enough to get me into this little group of nerdlings. I must say I feel rather out of place in this group. I was not much a grade winner in high school, so this is a whole new experience for me lol. Just one more thing to add to my resume when I FINALLY graduate.



The wife came down with a case of MRSA, not sure where it came from but the doc gave her some wicked pills. The pills have huge names with lots of letters and I cannt even begin to understand how to pronounce them but they are throwing her for a loop. But on the bright side she is getting beter....now I just hope I dont get it too!

Baseball is almost done for little monkey man. He loves to play, even though always seems more interested in the bugs in the air or the ants in the grass. But he likes it so who am I to judge. I am not one of those wacko parents that push their kids into sports and MAKE sure they perform like pro ball players.

My Feelings on this topic:

I came across this in cyberspace recently and got a good laugh. Today will be the start my blog again. Yeah I know I said it before but I really miss doing this, and now I actually do have a little time to play on it again lol

Dear President Calderon,

I’m planning to move my family (my wife is currently pregnant with twins) and extended family into Mexico, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We plan to skip all the legal
stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. Please note that I will be expecting the following:

1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All Mexican government forms need to also be printed in English.
4. I want my children to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bilingual) teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers do not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking
officer.
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U.S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments
from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say a critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I have the right to speak English to other English-speaking co-workers and friends, in the presence of Mexican citizens, who cannot understand us.
15. Job Requirement: Must be bilingual.
16. My college-age children must receive in-state tuition (state-subsidized), and be offered scholarships if I am unable to pay for their tuition and fees, which is typically is the
case, if I lack the education or language skills to obtain a well paying job myself.
17. American run businesses have the right to hire Americans, exclusively.
18. I have the right to sue any Mexican who objects to these terms under laws against racism and hateful practices.

Thank you el Presidente Calderon, I am sure this can be accomplished easily as America has been doing this for many years!
U.S. citizen and taxpayer

Hooooray Something to Bitch About....

Yesterday we had our first practise of the season.....well the first practise I was made aware of, anyway. You see the coach only got my email address from the youth league a few days ago so until then he was not able to contact me. This was typical of this league and just part of the reason I am not coaching. You see this youth league is very, very unorganized. Just to the point that I refuse to coach, sure I will help out in other ways but do not ask me to do anything that might involve planning. Work the kitchen, help clean the field or whatever tasks might be needed for the field itself; no problem. Let me count the ways (from last year) of why I am not getting involved:

• Once I said I would coach I was given a team....oh wait not that one.....oh wait this one is not good either.....here you can have this one. I felt like I was just given the team no one else wanted. The kids were great the parents were not toooo bad but still.....has anyone ever heard of the 'Muck Dogs' ?


• On opening day, which a they do a parade to the field we use, I had not received anything about the 'cheese cake sale'. This is the fund raiser they do to raise money for the league. But mind you I saw everyone else there with packets handing them out. I had to chase down someone to get mine. This was also the day I had to chase someone down to get my equipment bag.


• Game days and practise were not all that problematic, there were a few snags here and there, but that is life. But the team moms did seem to have some problems with knowing who did kitchen duty and who did not. And even though my wife made it very clear about how it worked, our idea of clean was not everyone else's definition of clear.


• When the season was over I was told I could drop off the equipment at the field. Well, I tried to return the gear they gave on three occasions and each time they told me to hold on to it until someone contacted me. No one called, and each time I tried to return it they told me that they did not want to get everything mixed up and just to wait. Well I still have all the gear I was given last year on the porch. And if they do not contact me by the end of this season about it I am claiming it as mine. Not that I really want it but I have kept this stuff safe for them for a year now and it seems they do not want it back. I am almost tempted to label this post with the name of the league just to see if anyone contacts me about this post.....but I probably wont. I don't want to make it toooo easy for them haha.

But I must say it did feel strange not being on the field being the one telling the kids: 'Stop playing with the dirt' 'Keep your eye on the ball' 'Ok, heads up and gloves down' I was just another parent on the side lines watching and freezing my ass off. This will be our third season with this league and my first not being on the field with the kids. I do feel bad about it but my nerves are not willing to do that again. I will practise with Seth on our own but as for the actual coaching, I am leaving that up to someone else. CellPhone picture from yesterday:

Another Day in the Life of....Me

Work and school, work and school...makes one really love those little moments of freedom. And someday I will look back and miss it.....well I dont think there will ever be a time when I miss school. I am not going into a rant about hating the institution or how it is just another scheme set up to separate you from your money, nope not going to do it.
Just popped in for some blogging time nothing more. Here to report Seth is now 8:





And life is plugging along the way it should. Well at least in our neck of the woods anyway. But it is strange to see snow on the first day of spring!




Then again when living in NJ you have to be ready for anything. Like when I saw my first episode of 'The Jersey Shore' I was like :



Nope, not one fuck was given that day. It is amazing, if you do not turn on your tv to actually watch any shows your life still has meaning. Dont get me wrong I still watch it from time to time, just to make myself feel better about myself.
And I know that can sound mean and self centered, by hey I am an American and if you dont like what I am saying here:



We are making all kinds of plans for the up coming months. Taking the kids to see Thomas the Train up in PA, I am saving up money for my road trip to TN to finally finish this tattoo, the wife is planning to take a trip out to CA and I cannt wait to hit the beach this summer.
Which reminds me.....I hope it warms up soon I need to get my ass out and start running off this winter coat I have been growing. I did get me some new running shoes, they are a little bit different than most the ones out on the market:



They are called Skele-Toes and they are made by Fila. Navy Man had a pair very similar to these but they were alot more expensive and they had grooves for all the toes. These only have 4, makes getting them on a little easier....just a little.
They did take some getting used to but now I wear them all the time. As soon as I get home from work I put them on, they have become my everyday shoes as well lol.
Now if I could only get my ass up at 4am everyday from here on out to go running I will be all set hahahaha!