I came across this in cyberspace recently and got a good laugh. Today will be the start my blog again. Yeah I know I said it before but I really miss doing this, and now I actually do have a little time to play on it again lol
Dear President Calderon,
I’m planning to move my family (my wife is currently pregnant with twins) and extended family into Mexico, and I would like to ask you to assist me. We plan to skip all the legal
stuff like visas, passports, immigration quotas and laws. Please note that I will be expecting the following:
1. Free medical care for my entire family.
2. English-speaking government bureaucrats for all services I might need, whether I use them or not.
3. All Mexican government forms need to also be printed in English.
4. I want my children to be taught Spanish by English-speaking (bilingual) teachers.
5. Schools need to include classes on American culture and history.
6. I want my kids to see the American flag on one of the flag poles at their school.
7. Please plan to feed my kids at school for both breakfast and lunch.
8. I will need a local Mexican driver’s license so I can get easy access to government services.
9. I do plan to get a car and drive in Mexico, but I don’t plan to purchase car insurance, and I probably won’t make any special effort to learn local traffic laws.
10. In case one of the Mexican police officers do not get the memo from their president to leave me alone, please be sure that every patrol car has at least one English-speaking
11. I plan to fly the U.S. flag from my house top, put U.S. flag decals on my car, and have a gigantic celebration on July 4th. I do not want any complaints or negative comments
from the locals.
12. I would also like to have a nice job without paying any taxes, or have any labor or tax laws enforced on any business I may start.
13. Please tell all the Mexican people to be extremely nice and never say a critical things about me or my family, or about the strain we might place on their economy.
14. I have the right to speak English to other English-speaking co-workers and friends, in the presence of Mexican citizens, who cannot understand us.
15. Job Requirement: Must be bilingual.
16. My college-age children must receive in-state tuition (state-subsidized), and be offered scholarships if I am unable to pay for their tuition and fees, which is typically is the
case, if I lack the education or language skills to obtain a well paying job myself.
17. American run businesses have the right to hire Americans, exclusively.
18. I have the right to sue any Mexican who objects to these terms under laws against racism and hateful practices.
Thank you el Presidente Calderon, I am sure this can be accomplished easily as America has been doing this for many years!
U.S. citizen and taxpayer