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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Thursday, September 03, 2009

HNT, beach addition....

I decided to wait on my vacation post because it was full of HNT pictures......naw to be honest I am just lazy and thought that excuse sounded better than the truth. And aint dat da toof?

We had a blast and it was sad to have to leave that beautiful beach house we rented. 2 bed rooms, 1.5 bathrooms, washer dryer and all the things one might think come with a real house. No there was no room service and no there was no pool but hell I like to cook my own food and who needs a pool when you have an ocean? We got there at like 0500hrs on Sunday morning, took a little nap then hit the ground running by going to the beach. There was no time for sleeping, i was on fucking vacation. And I wanted to cram as much fun and drinking in as I could before I had to face reality a week later!

Here we have my oldest, Devon getting ready to go into the water. The hurricanes off shore cased some cray waves and one hell of an under tow. I got pulled out once but nothing new to me. One must know how to handle the ocean if you want to play in it.

There where tons of surfers and body boarders, and man do I love a girl in a Speedo but this one had me puzzled. I thought she was a he until I saw his boobs show through the shirt. 'Her' look said man but her hidden features said woman. Why oh why would he/she hide it?

In the middle of this picture we have Seth and the wife unit. We had Seth in a Speedo life vest anytime he went in. His swimming abilities have grown and so has his confidence. But he is still no match for mother nature, lets just say it would take him less than 5 minutes to end up 100 yards down the other end of the beach.

Here we have Lucas, the little water bitch. He spent the entire time in the sand. He wanted NOTHING to do with the ocean. He would scream like you were trying to kill him if you took him to the waters edge. He did not want to see it, feel it or be anywhere near it. So he sat in the sand all week trying to find new areas to hide sand in.

And this is your brain on the Navy, Doug did not have off this week but he did come down everyday after work. He said this is the most time he has ever spent here at the beach.WTF! You live here and never come here, man oh man if I was single and living near the beach you bet your ass I would be here every waking second I could. But then again that is just me, I love the beach.

This is pretty much the life I would love to lead. Beach, surf and sand but I have yet to find a way to make money doing it. And since Virginia has made begging illegal I will have to look else where.

This is your childs brain on junk food, study it, remember it and never forget it...

Vacation is a time for kicking your heels up, sitting back and knocking back enough booze to make you swear off it until the next one. And in all honesty after a week of breakfast beers, mid-day rum and nightly car bombs I am all boozed out. Not saying I have not had a drink or two since I have been back but the level has dropped wayyyyyyyy down.

Brothere and sister having another heart felt moment of who is right and who is wrong, funny thing is after 30 some odd years of this you would think they would have both just given up and agreed to disagree.

Doug had off Friday so Thursday night we (me, wife and doug) all went out to meet some of his navy buddies. The first place we went to we played pool and had some drinks. By the way I really suck as this game....

I am beginning to wonder if Doug and some sort of growth on his hand, almost all pictures I have of him he is holding a beer of some sort .......

Great family photo, man are we tan or what!

See, there is that growth I was talking about!

Irish Car Bombs.....and lots of them! If I was more than 10% Irish I might find this drink's name offensive......naw not really I just want to say that lol.

From there we went to a place called the Ready Room, which by the way is some sort of Navy term for the room they get ready in.....go figure! Lots of drinking was done here but no harm and no foul. But it did have one of the rudest and nastiest bar maids I have ever seen. She was a bitch with a capital BITCH! I swear if I wasn't so drunk and could have made a coherent sentence without spitting on everyone,I would have told that cunt off.....yeah she was that bad!

Yep Lucas and the sand again.....

What on earth, how did that get in my camera?

Its time for a shower Mr.Sandy!

We went to the local aquarium and poked around, not bad but in all honesty you seen one you have seen them all. The only really cool part was the 3-D Imax theater show. It was to funny watching the little ones trying to grap at things that where not really there, it was like watching children on LSD lol.

Typical tourist!

On the same day Doug and myself went out for 9 holes or golf. He got a discount due to his active duty status and we even got the cart! Which was great because we where the only ones there so that meant lots of horsing around!

If you look really closely you can see that my fly is open........

(ha made you look)

On our last night we went out to the strip to do some shopping and to make fun of the locals. And their inability to follow their own bullshit. You see there are these signs all over the place about what you cannt do, but it only seems to apply the things they dont agree with. They have these rules about no cursing, nothing obscene, no loitering, no littering, no soliciting, no cruising and no this and no that. But on one of the street corners we came across this street preacher screaming about hell and damnation. And that we did not need a 401k, a job, a car or anything else as long as we had some guy named jesus in our hearts. They where also handing out there flyer's about how their imaginary friend could beat up yours. Now stay with me here, these people where break just about every rule the very sign they where standing under!
1) No cursing, he was cursing up a storm about how our way of life was wrong. And how his was right, yeah ok people that preach the loudest often have more skeletons in there closets than most.
2) Obscene, I found that fact this guy was using his children at that time of the night to push his religion on everyone obscene.
3)Loitering, this jack ass was the reason these laws were put into place. To keep wack jobs from standing in one place and spewing hate filled rants about how gays and whores are taking over the earth.
4)Littering, those little pamphlets they were handing out went from their hands to the hands of people walking by to the floor in less time than it takes to fart.
5)Solicitation, come on now do I have to spell this one out too?
I was going to start my own rant right next to him but the joke would have been wasted, people like this have no sense of humor. But next time I see one of this guys I am going to start a rant about how DVD and Blueray has killed the VCR and how the internet is slowly making humans sterile. That should get their goat ha!

But after that performance we ran into another one that was much more entertaining, Arron Bonk I think his name was. He called himself an object manipulator....he juggles things. He had some comedy; adult and child friendly so everyone got a laugh. He was good, and even played off one mistake. He wasnt perfect but he put on a good show, and besides he has this cute chick that did fire tricks! Do you remember that I said Virginia has made being a bum illegal? Our friend Mr. Bonk told us how, you see along with all the other laws this nazi police state has they also have this law about tipping being illegal. Hmmm, wtf does that mean? Well, you are not allowed to give money to someone for nothing, aka-the tip. So bums are breaking the law when they ask for money to buy their crack. So to get around this, law that was purposly set up to get ride of bums, street performers dance around this law with a little slight of hand. He gives you a 2cent post card if you give any amount of money for his performance. Before all they would do is pass a hat around and we would drop some money in to show we liked what he was doing. But since the law makers are hell bent on controling every part of our world, men with some common sense have learned how to get around these rules. I love it when rules are made and people are able to leagally get around them by using loop holes. Man you got to love it.

Below you will see me on the prowl in the crowd with my camera, no clue who she was, just some stranger holding up the wall.....

If you have ever been to Virginia Beach you will know where this is:

Here we have have wife unit and Lucas, the kids really like the show. Cannt blame them any man that can handle that many balls at once will have my full attention.

But the vacation is over and I am wishing it wasnt, but hey I am here to save up for the next one! If I lived like I was on vacation all the time it would loss its magic and start to seem like work at some point. We all wish life was a vacation all the time but keep in mind, all those people that make our happiness possible look at us like the way we look at our co-works......'God not them again' persons paradise is another persons hell.....
On a work related note:
one of our major computers that I use on a daily basis went down! I mean it crashed in a way no computer should ever crash. And when I asked how it happened, the guy from Dell said: These things just happen.
Man isnt that the story of my life lol!


Mom Taxi Julie said...

I know it's HNT and all but you got to warn a girl if you are going to be showing off your BVD's. I almost hurt myself at work!

Martini said...

Thanks for the warning about your fly being down!

I'm always conflicted about the beach. It's nice, especially the scenery, but the sand is evil! It gets INSIDE things, and you can't get it out!

Danielle said...

loved the pics, especially the one with u in your drawers! lol! ur a mess!

Cyn said...

Sounds like fun! I seriously need a vacation... I lived in Corpus literally 3 minutes from the beach I still never went. It gets old. I actually went fishing at the lake more than I went to the beach.