About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Tuesday, September 30, 2008

I ended up in the back of a cop car Saturday....

(not really me just some pic I stole from photobucket and did a really bad job of photoshopping)

And boy was that an uncomfortable ride!

But let me start from the beginning of that story.......

It was Saturday night and me and the wife unit were watching Doomsday, which by the way is an awesome movie, and heard people outside making all kinds of noise. Now, in the past we have had some problems with these kids that we call 'The Delinquents' that live down the street. Riding gas powered mini bikes on the sidewalk, which in this part of Jersey is illegal, and just causing constant problems up and down the street. And on the note of their bike riding, we think the cops took them because we have not heard or seem them riding them in a while.


So, now whenever we hear noise late at night we run to see if anyone is fucking with our cars or doing anything else they are not supposed to be doing. We walked out side, mag light in hand and we see the Delinquents horsing around on the street, no big deal but we sit outside just to see what they are up to. Then all of a sudden they duck down by a car and pop some guys tire. I turn on my mag and scream out 'Hey! I see you!' and the wife unit adds 'And we know where you live retard!' Four of the highly intellegent kids run right past me and my flashlight, down the street and into their shitty little house. So, being the all American family we call the cops and then call the neighbors out for a little neighboor hood watch meeting.....well more like a point and curse session than anything.


The cops show up and take our info. Then an unmarked shows up, dives over to the house and has them all out on the steps. But the only one left is this head douche bag, the only white kid of the group who seems very confused about the fact he is white. For anyone who is going to do something stupid like this you might want to take away anything that might single you out from the group....like being the only honkeie with waist long hair. The other retards I honestly could not have picked out of a line up but the confused white boy was a real no brainer. But the cops wanted to make sure they had the right wonder-bread poster boy for prison sex before they started the beat down. So they asked if anyone would want to go on record for this and I gave them my name. Then they asked me to hop in the back of the car to drive a half a block down to finger Translucent Boy. So I jumped in and found several things enteraining about the back of the cop car:

A) The whole back seat was one solid peice of plastic, no place to hide anything.

B) There was no room for a normal sized person to put their legs.

C) If I am ever arrested dont wear Hommer Simpson PJ bottoms, you will slide all over the place.

D) Apparently people can not see into the back of a cop car when a giat light is in their eyes.


So, I pointed out the guy and off we went back to the front of my house, I sure hope they are as stupid as they seem lol. I was going to get my camera but cops get a bit jumpy with things that flash at them so I let it at home.


The cops later told us that these kids have been causing problems for sometime and the parents do not seem to care. So he told us that he was going to make it a point to deal with them. They also told us they can get them on breaking curfew, I never knew that there was a law on that! It would seem that anyone under the age of 18 is not allowed to be out after 10pm without an adult present. I learned something new everyday, like yesterday I learned that a shirt made of 60% cotton and 40% polyester feels like a rough ponco (my work uniform).


After all that was said and done the guy whose tire got slashed had no idea who these people were or why they picked his car, lodging a formal complaint will help if any form of retaliation happens and you can bet your ass I will be calling them again if I see these shit birds outside after 10! I think I will now keep my video camera charged and go and buy that really big Mag light. The cop said 'jokingly' that if you have to beat their asses make sure you drag them into your house after wards. Hey, they came at me in my house and I defended myself! Ha I love cop humor!


Does anyone know where to get some brass knuckels? I had 2 pair in high school, never used them and never had any intent to use them. I just like having them, and it seems I can get a cross bow, a hand tazer, and broad sword and an gun that shots riot rubber bullets but I cannt seem to find any place that sells brass knuckes. The place I bought mine in NY has long since gone to being a corny tee shirt shop that no longer sells kinves, brass knuckels, I love NY bongs or fake I.D.'s.

7 comments:

Tiffany said...

We have a few little bastards in our neighborhood. One day they rode their bikes across the entire road and wouldn't let us go around them and flipped us off. I thought hubby was gonna run them over he was so pissed. So he just cussed them out and then we told the cops who ran them down and went and told their parents. Stupid kids!

Capricorn said...

I dont have any thugs in my neighborhood..in fact, I might be considered the thug.
Fact is, bad kids stem from bad parenting.

~Sheila~ said...

I used to call the cop on the hoodlums in my area, only because I was always alone with the kids and I didn't want to give them a chance to come up with something stupid that may endanger me or the kids.

Martini said...

That's an awesome story. I'd be all over those punks in the worst way. They'd be scared shitless if i had a chance to toy with their minds.

Carie said...

we have probably about 900 little jackasses where I live lol, living in the ghetto is always amusing though...there is not a night since we moved here 10 years ago that cops have not been here lol...shooting constantly...and all the little turds love to stand in the middle of the road at like midnight and scream and fight...it sucks.

I have been in the back of a cop car a few times, never just for a joy ride either lol...a good thing about being short in the back of a cop car is you can move around, even with the seat belt on, you can slowly get the handcuffed hands in front of you before they realize you did cause you are so short most of you is out of sight lol

binks said...

Careful on the old brass knuckles - here in FLA, I had a friend that was arrested for carrying a concealed, deadly weapon.
Can anyone say "Felony"?
Then you can ride for real.
Thanks for popping by today!

Prunella Jones said...

Don't know about the brass knuckles, I do wear a ring on ever finger tho. Might that have the same effect? They do work good whenever I have to slap a bitch.