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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Friday, August 04, 2006

Realllllll Quick Friday Funny

Welcome and happy Friday! It is still as hot as a room behind Satan's nut sack but its all good, at least it isnt snowing. And we get a chance to use our pool almost everyday now. I just wish it was a little bigger. I would love to be able to swim laps, I could go to the gym that has a pool but I am not that good at it and in my pool I dont have to worry about my shorts coming off. For some reason when I start swimming, freestyle, my shorts come sliding off. I try to tie them tighter but they still seem to creep down and when you ass is as white as mine and you have a nice summer tan now it can be seen for miles and miles. And I really dont think the people at the gym will think its as funny as my 3 year old thinks it is when my shorts come down. Whenever he sees an ass he start hollering "BOOTIE BOOTIE" its the funniest thing.

And on to funny, I dont have much time today. It is almost 3 and we all know what happens when that whistles blows right........Thats right......I forgot.......but at least u know.....Now on to a few funnies I have been saving.

1) Now here is a girl u take home to mom and marry in the same day.


2) Guys here is why they say, " Hell knows no furry like the scorn of a woman" Keep this pic in mind when that young lass starts looking too good.......fantasy is always better than reality, here is a big dose of reality~~~~~>


3) I can contess that this is a lie......... :-(


4) I am not much for workout videos but I think I am about to go out and look for this one.


5) Sorry to all blondies out there but this is just tooooo funny. I have nothing agaist blondes or stoopid ppl. They keep me smiling throughout my day. I lovem all....big, fat, small, tall me lovem all.


6) Hell yes! This exsplains alot......................................



I hope everyone has a non sober weekend, I still have half of a bottle of some of the captain. I think I will try it with cream soda, someone told me to try and I love cream soda so why not. Funds are a little low this weekend so I think this will be a real ghetto, window shoppin weekend but even poo ppl can have a little fun. That is when u break out the crappy booze some asshole at work gave u at christmass, it taste like shit but it gets u where u want to be.......Drunk! Just like this~>Spaz

Thursday, August 03, 2006

A HNT ...sort of...

I got my "Save Screech's House" Teeshirt in the mail the other day. I was going to put it one and do the post but I ran out of time so I did the next best thing and took some pics of it and me at work. I worked a double shift yesterday and did not get home until really late and forgot all about it until I was about to head out the door. But let me show and tell a little here.

Here we have me being an idiot showing what I got in da mail...If you cannt read it says' I paid $15.00 to help save Screechs house' Well actually I paid 20$, becasue........
















I wanted him to sign it!
















And here is the front of the shirt............"Save My House"





And for those of u who wish to be cool like me and want to help go here and lend our teen idol a hand!



GetDShirts.com

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Help

Real quick, I am trying to change my template but eveyone I use keeps putting my shit on the bottom. I have tried all kinds of things but it always ends up on the bottom, can someone help me out here. I had this problem once before and it seemed to have fixed itself but now it wont. Oh well I will keep trying, I am working a double shift tonight so I will be here until 11 tonight. Lets see if I can figure this one out....

Holy HeyZesus it is working!

It has taken me 4 days to get these pictures up! But it is all better now I think lol. So without anymore delay here is my weekend my trip to Sesame Place in PA.

It was a short 1 hour drive, straight down Rt. One, which was not bad at all. But thanks to the portable DVD player the kids were rather entertained all the way.

Here we have the whole family posing for the family photo ablum. Say "ASS CHEESE!"



Now I am not one to publicly bad mouth ppl but here is proof to why I spend hours at the gym working out, some ppl say I am waisting my time but these are the kinda ppl that say this:



This woman was soooo out of shape that she had to sit down while her family waited in line. Mind u the wait was not long at all. She was out of breath by the time she got to the bench. This picture actually does her some justice because she was enormous. When she sat on the bench only one other person could sit there with her. I do not want to become like this when I am older......and what is a little more fucked up is that she was not all that old. And she was not the odd ball, ppl like her were the norm. In Six Flags they have had to put out mock seats of the ride you are about to get on to make sure your ass fits on the ride. I myself have seen ppl asked to leave the ride because the safety harness will not go down over their gut. Now if that is not a wake up call I dont know what is. And SixFlags beinging the nice ppl they are devised a way to try and keep that from happining to anyone.....they put a test seat at the front of the line. As if to say," Please test your gurth here before you embarass your self on the ride and we make u roll your fat ass down the exit ramp to the nearest pizza pavilon to drown your sarrow in food." Now I am not saying this without some understanding. I know the battle of the bulge is a hard one but these ppl are not even trying, I mean come on all these ppl cannt have thyroid problems. And I like women with meat on them , I like them meatier than most as well but come on now. Too much of a good thing is too much! Hell I see what they are eating from the time the get there to the time we leave. They remind me of cows, in the sense they are always chewing on something....maybe they are cows and just chewing thier cud....nasty. (sorry for that rant but it was really really bad, and it was men and women as u will soon see)

Here we have a grown man being pushed by his wife/girlfiend/babymomma in a kiddie stroller. I kid u not, there are 3 kids in there and him. I wonder if she whipes his ass when he does BM as well? Now see she is round but she has more stamina than him, that is real spanish meat dar ;-)



I know my wife will kill me for posting this pic but I think she looks so cutie all prego. And for some reason lots of the pictures I am posting have this 2 tone look to them. Strange but at least I got them on here :-D



I am not sure what I was taking a picture here but I think I was the woman in blue dress in the blue shoes. She had some tree trunk, power-lifter, watermellon squashing legs on her. Now I say that in a good way, nothing like a woman with a set of legs that look like they could sufficate a man while eating at the Y.



Its Super Dooper Gender Confused Groover! I mean cum on......a pink cape on the greatest super hero of all time honestly!



Here we have the king of the man boobies. I saw some much worse than this butterball but his were the perkiest. I mean watching him walk around was very disturbing, they bounced the way a womans bonkers would, they swaied to and fro and I am sure he would have passed the pencil test. Hell I think he could have passed th beer bottle test lol.....disturbing oh so disturbing...and erotic all in the same breath lol.....I think I will go and vomit for even typing that!



I know why they put this sign up at the batroom entrance but it is still just as nasty.



To sum up my time at Sesame Place inPa A) It was alot smaller than I imagined but as always fantasy is always better than reality B) You get a 2 day pass for the price of one, very cool C) The look on the little ones faces as they see their fav characters larger than life was priceless. I was like watching the look on an uber religous persons face as HayZesus walks by and goes into a bar(with a rabbi, a muslim and morman---good joke really). D) The Perfered parking was totaly worth the extra 4 bucks E) They had picnic tables, one thing I wish SixFlags would put in. F) The Human Zoo was worth the trip becasue there wasnt much for adults to do. G) They need something for the adults, like a bar for the men and a full spa for the women. and H) The Elmo's World show was the best, he sat still for a whole 30 minutes in awe of his red fuzzy god.

Now to help my nerves recover on Saturday I decided to go the extra distance and cough up the money for some liquid relief. I bought some Capt. Morgans rum and went to town. I even went on blog and tried to comment on a few blogs but that word verifiaction thing was killing me. Maybe I should try it after only 2 drinks and not 7. And typing is also much harder to do when they begin to blur. And yes I used diet coke, its the sugars that get u all the time lol.




Now as for Sunday me and the wife unit spent 8 hours cleaning our cars with our new toys. A shop-vac and steam cleaner. Our cars are like new damn it.....well mine is still rather new. Her car has new life to it, as much as a minivan can have but at least it is cleaner than it was on Saturday.

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

GodDamnFuckingShit

-I have been trying to post pictures since Sunday and blogger keeps cock blocking me and it is really getting on my nerves. I know I really dont have any right to bitch because this is a free service and I am using thier space like a free loading relative that one else wanted ....but cum on. I just want to post some pics of me, my family, Sesame Place, me and me again. I love showing pics and I hope it is repaired soon, Hey Morbid I got my save Sreechs House TeeShirt! I paid the extra $$$ to have him sign it too....how much has the needle on my Geek-Dar gone up ? I also got my movie ticket I would from Blingo---and if you dont know what I am taking about go here and take a read...it does work I won!BLINGO
Well since I dont have pics i will have to bo a blog full of words and english stuff.....pardon the errors...I am not no english major here!
-Yesterday my wife had her baby shower and I forgot my camera. But luckily someone had one. But I now have to go and develop them....what the hell is that, I have forgoten all about those days of filling out those confusing little pouchs and waiting about a week or two to see them. And know that some perve probably made doubles of the good ones....and yes they do that, I worked at a DrugFair when I was in Highskool. I got to see all your naughty pics hehehehe. It was always hard to not crack a smile when they came to pic them up too lol.
But anywho....It was held at her job after hours. There was lots of food and the best freakin meatballs ever! I think I have about 4 of these tennis ball size meat snacks. But because of all the goodies I ate the only thing I ate for the rest of the day was one bowl of soup.....and one last piece of cake later that night hahahahahaha. the sweet tooth gets me all the time :-D.
We got all kinds of baby things....duh! About 5 bags worth of stuff, now all we have to do is find some place to put all of this stuff. We are seriously running out of space. We are at the point were if we have any more kids we will have to move out so we can have some where to put the kids. I swear the floor is going to give out if we add anymore furniture in our room.
-Now I dont think I have mentioned it yet but NJ has become a humid hot box of fun lately. It is now 97 degrees and its only 11am......it is said to go up to 110 with humidity! It is hot but lucky for me I work in an office and refuse to go outside until I go home. But going home is torture for several reasons....One: I am cheap and never turn on the AC in my car and still wont...sweating is free damn it!...and Two: I am cheap and never turn on the AC in my car and still wont...sweating is free damn it! Besides that the drive home is peachyKeen! The manufacturing side of the company I am at has already had several heat related issuses and has changed a few things to help out the little guy. But I feel it really is too little, hell without these ppl the company would come to a hault but they are always the last ones that get anything. Hell they finally go a company picnic, which all companies should do. Employee moral is very very important in my book, with my wife's company I would get a job there just for the parties they have on Christmass lol.
-It is so hot here they have suspened fees at some of the parks and beachs to try and lure ppl out. But unless they giving out free cold beer I am keeping my ass in my own pool with a bottle of Captain Morgans. And I think I also forgot to say our pool has been green for about 2 weeks but now after a week of shocking the shit out of it with liquid clorine(sp) and powder it is clear again. the chlorine is a little high but not to bad, we even took out some water and added fresh water to bring it down a little so we wont strip the flesh off of us as we took a dip. It is that fucking hot, I would risk life and limb to have a few seconds of cool haha. Yes I will be there today ass well!
-I will try later to put some pics up but if u would like a sneak peak go to my flickr account I have put some up PHILSROOM. I have pictures of other stuff as well take a look around and hell start up one as well.
I am off to the desert, I need some food so I have to leave the comfort of my AC cave.