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About Me

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I live in the state of constant confusion. Its the state colored blue on the map. And yes I can find any place on the globe, its all color cordinated! (duh)Asia is pink, England is green and France ....well France felt they were soo much better than everone else they have become their own planet.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

Bad me take....god if I know....

I have been slacking in everything these days. School, work, home and even the internet. The wife has been gone for a week now, she went down to Uruguay with her dad. His mom is not doing to well and was in the hospital. They sent her home a few days ago, the doctors told them there isn't anything else they can do for her. It is time to go home and get some rest. And we all know what that means. But it is for the better, it better to be home in the end than in an unfamiliar place when the time comes. I am not good with words at times like this, I just hope everyone down there is doing well.

With the wife gone it has been me and the kids. I have had the help of Sharon and Alan with getting the kids off in the morning and watching them while I am in school but that really isnt a substitute for my wife unit. It strange, I have been away from the family and the wife before but I have never missed her soo much. It is just so strange coming home to no one.

And I know I am not the first person on the planet to be separated from a spouse but its new to me. She will be home this Saturday, so I think this Halloween will be spent holding and hugging the family.

And with her gone I have even more stress than before, I never had to deal with stress like this. Again this is new to me, this new found feeling of being over whelmed and I dont like it. I have no energy or desire to do much of anything. I used to have so much get up and go I swore I had speed in my veins. But now that well of energy has gone dry. Even doing this post I have to drag it out of me. I know I always jump from one idea to another but here it seems more obvious because I just want to be done with it.

I love keeping a life journal, and I even recently bought a new one. I am forcing myself to keep it up because I know down the road when all of this is done I will thank myself for it. I started my last journal 12/08/2004 and ended it 10/25/2009, almost 5 years of my life put into a nice little book. Someday I will go back and read it and laugh at all the things I did.

I also like to add little parts of my life and world in it. On the first page of the old one we have some funny articles, a band aide from one of Lucas's doctor visits, my Feed Me card from the all you can eat Rio22, and a receipt for something.....I am not sure what it is but I think it might be for that 'adult' novelty store I went to some years back. Are you a freak like me?

But in my loneliness I do have one adult comfort to help me along, good old Sailor Jerry. But he does have one draw back, spend too much time with him and he will have you bawling like a baby in your drink wishing your sweet peas was home. Alcohol has a odd effect on me when I get all emotional.

But I have to run, way to much to do and I dont even know where to start. School work I DONT want to do and work at work I HAVE to do. Oh well, its time to put on the big boy pants and go to work.


Martini said...

alcohol is just a mood enhancer. Feeling happy? now you're SUPER happy. Feeling mad? Uh oh! Here comes the angry drunk!

Becky said...

My journal became expired after I started blogging. I just don't have the energy for that anymore. I used to always write though and I have a few to prove how stupid I used to act... I debate on whether they should be burned or not? Just in case I have children one day, I don't want them to know I did alot of the things that I did.