Blogging From My Phone

Just another day at work because I did not win the lottery!

I downloaded the mobile app to use the blog from my phone to see if that would help me get back into the swing of things. Edit: It seems that if I want to blog from my phone I am going to have to pay money, maybe....we shall see....

I took down my website because I was spending money on something I was not putting any time into. Maybe someday I will go back and give that a whirl again, but for the time being I am just going to try and blog again.

The question of what do I want to do with my blog had been on my mind, everyone that has any form of social media presence has a purpose and a direction, where as with me…I am all over the place. And to be honest, that is how I like it. I do not want to be a product review blog, home improvement, a fitness guru or a travel blog. I am just going to try it all and see what happens. 

I am disappointed in myself for not keeping this up through the years and letting this place collect so much dust. 

I have tried the reboot and failed, tried the website and failed so this time I am just going to pick up where I am and move on.

So, where am I? I am 9 years at my current job, two years in a new home, 22 years married, one cat, one dog, bowling in a beer league (9 pins counts as a strike) and as of recent I am on meds for gout. 

I am over weight and in the process of trying to get healthier. I have reached a point where I am no longer comfortable and I need to hold myself accountable!

But do I want this to be my weight loss journal….no…it will just be a part of the whole chaotic experience.

I have so much I can put into this place, and because I am all over the place I am just going to start posting. I will have to add some time lines within the post but just a warning…it won’t be in order! 

I am not sure how far back I want to go but let’s just start and see where it goes, I will get the ball rolling later this week. This is just my dusting of my place looking for a good spot to place my laptop. 

More to come, welcome to the chaos. 

Old picture….2020 

Wow its still here!

Life is as life does, and the blog suffers. I have moved on and at each turn I miss a great chance to come in and blog about it, why am I such a slacker? I know I know, life is so distracting. I mean I was at the mall the other day and all those lights and buzzers made me completely forget that I went in there to pick up some socks.....holy shit Old Navy has pants on clearance and all those window dummies in the need of molesting, I mean who could resist that?!?!

But I have been wrestling with the idea to just shut this bitch down but I just cannt bring myself to hit that delete button. So I decided to try once again to bring out the old shock paddles and the morphine and save this blog. Because all the video games have taught me morphine and shock paddles can save anyone from anything including bullets!

So, lets do a recap that is all over the place. Which is fine because that is how my life has always been any how so why should my blog be any different lol. Three more classes down, International Business (B), Principles of Economs II (B+) and Commercial Development of the Internet (?). Yeah still waiting on the last grade but I am pretty sure I passed :-D
I have less than a year to go before I and done with this shit, and then its off to find that dream job. But with my luck they will want a PhD or some other bullshit haha!

All the kids are doing awesome, absolutely no complaints there; Lucas is 5 and reading Seth is 8 and doing math that I cannt even do and Devon is 16 and is chasing girls like he is on a mission. So yeah all the kids are doing great, and Santa was good to them all!

The wife is still trying to get a job in Cali, we set a dead line for this year as the do or die for our move out of NJ. Its time to move on and this is the year we are going to do it, one way or another. She is trying to get into a graduate program to further her education in the HR field, one more thing to ad to the resume. You can never have enough when it comes to padding your resume.

I am moving up the ranks in my Masonry, the picture above was the party they had for all those who are moving up the ranks, I am now the Marshal. But as most people know, that is about all I can say about that. Its my special man club, and if you want to know more you will have to ask me on a more personal medium than my blog.

Work is work, its what I do to make money not define me in any other way. I have a job that is micro-managed to a 'T' and my attitude towards that has changed. To the effect that I will not allow it to get to me as much as it used to. When I leave work I leave it at work, enough said.

We took the kids to see the city this year, the typical touristy stuff, Rockefeller, the tree and the usual stuff that out of towners do when in the city. I love the city but there is no way in hell I would ever live there, its just to damn stressful. I mean one day of wandering around there and I wanted to kill someone! But we did have fun and the kids loved it, but I think Lucas loved the train ride above all. I swear that kid will someday have a job with trains, he is mental over anything trains!

See, he just loves Thomas!

You should have seen the line to get on the ice! I am not that big on ice skating but I would like to get on the ice just once so I can say I did it lol

They had these professional photographers out here taking holiday photos. But I was not about to ask what they were charging. Its NYC so you know they are robbing people blind for crap like this. I mean hell all you really need is photoshop people, and dont give the crap about the 'experience'! Its that type of mentality that lets these assholes charge so much for a damn picture.

We were going to take the ride up to the observatory deck but again we did not have to time to go to the bank to take out a loan for the elevator ride. Remember its the holiday season so everything gets a 70% increase in price.

I did take a picture of the corporate side of my company, a place I have lots of dealings with but never been there hahaha.

But in all life is still moving on, people have passed on and we miss them as we all move on. We lost a family member, Willie. My wife's little brother, he will be sorely missed but he will be with us always. He had a hard time in the lifetime but he was always smiling and will always be remembered that way.

I also lost an old friend, he lived his life like it was an 80's party to the very end. We had not spoken in years, he moved and we lost touch but I did hear from my mom that he passed. His mom and my mom are friends, and that is how I found out. It is hard to say how I feel about it, we were close for a time but life got in the way and we moved on. I am sad that I did not keep in touch and sad I never tried to contact him over the years. But, that is all I can say about that.

My ex-fatherinlaw passed away, Joe. He was a good man, hard working and loyal to a fault. He was one of those men that wanted to die with his boots on, and he almost got his wish. He was working just about up to the very end. He was a hard worker that just never seemed to stop but he also knew how to have fun and was a generous man with everything he had.

So in summing up this year we all have lived, loved and lasted. We lived our lives as all people should, loved everyone even though we know they wont stay with us forever and lasted in the since that we are all still here and moving on. Life moves on unless you made the choice not to allow it to, and for me that will never be the plan. They will all be missed but I will carry them all with me into the future, its almost 2012 and I am nowhere near done with this life. I hope all the best for everyone in this up coming year, lets see what it brings. For the good, the bad and even the ugly I cannt wait to see what it holds for all of us.

Absent and Broken

Times are hard all around so I just thought I would get my ass on here and bitch about my hard times. I know everyone is taking a huge bite of this shit sandwich, but I am here to describe what my mouthful taste like.
Like most people I have been spending on a borrowed dime. I cannot even call it the 'Wimpy Effect'. You know the old, "I will pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today.' Yeah I am a little old school like that.
Well, we have been living like this and it has finally come down to this fact: We are working full time jobs just so that we can drown slowly. I am telling all this with sincere shame in my eyes. It is to the point that if we cannot get someone to co-sign a loan we will be moving back in with her parents.
And that isn't as bad as it seems but once you get a taste of having your own place it is hard to move back in with someone. Hell, I have had to do it......three times in my life! And it isn't because we have top of line cars or cloths, it comes down to the little things that have put us here. Our want to build credit and the lack of control to keep our spending under control. Ha, I feel like a government official except I don't have a scapegoat or a huge bail out.
But I think I have it all wrong, and in comparison to the rest of the world our debt is pennies. I mean last I checked the US owes soo much money I am not even sure where to put the commas in the number!
But yet that does not help me with the fact we are down to the last straw, and I don't want to file for bankruptcy again......yes I filed about 11 years ago. Its a long story filed with an ex wife, a lack of control and me not helping out with the finances in my world. And it sucks to know I am back in the same hole now just that this time I am not going through a divorce on top of it. I came here to clear my head and all I seem to be doing is making it worse.
I am in the last year of my college, which by the way sucks but whatever. I am trying to get this degree to help me get a job that pays more........so I can owe even more down the road. I mean if you are going to sin......sin big! No one cares if you owe tens of thousands of dollars. But get in over your head for a million and you could probably work out a talk show deal and maybe even a book. Getting into debt is easy but getting into a financial hole that would rival the problems in Greece, well that is a full time job!
I am to the point of even looking for a weekend job, which I really do not want to do. The weekend is the only thing I have let to keep me from losing my mind. It is my only time to let loose. I drink cheap beer and watch movies on Netflix. It is not much but its all I have the energy for. Once upon a time I worked out and I even try to start it up now and again, but I find I have noting pushing me for it. I have never been this tired and this stressed in my life. No where to go and no way to fix it. I know in time I will look back at this and shake my head, and I am soo looking forward to that day. Because the here and now is not where I want to be.

In closing I will say I just came here for some blogging therapy, I read the paper and see how bad other people have it. In the last big storm in Jersey, I got to read just how bad things can get. So I wont cry into my beer for myself, I will hold my head up and hope for a better tomorrow. For us all, for everyone that needs a hand because sometimes the things that we want are not the things that we need nor are they the things that we get. My life is stressful, its a whirl wind of unknowns, its uncertain, it brings me to tears when I know no one can see me but its my life. In a few years I will be able to stand a little taller knowing I made it through, and maybe with a little luck I will be little lighter too......because all this stress is killing my waist line!

I cannot end this with such a bummer. I will share with all a music video that has infected my brain and has helped me smile when I seemed to have lost my ability to smile. I must thank the members of the band LMFAO for this: I am Sexy and I Know it